A/N Thank you guys for reading and reviewing. They really made my day. I posted the first chapter in the middle of school on the worst day ever that keeps repeating itself. I hate my classes this term, nothing at all interesting. Anyways, I think that this chapter will be one of the longer ones. So anyways please enjoy. Nikki
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own anything but Ryan and the plot. I just like to make Stephenie Meyer's characters do funny things.
What I've Done- Linkin Park
In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no Alibi
'Cause I've Drawn Regret
From the truth
Of a Thousand Lies
[Pre-Chorus]
So let Mercy Come
And Wash Away
[Chorus]
what I've Done
I've faced myself
To Cross out what I've Become
Erase Myself
And let Go of What I've done
Put to rest
What you Thought of Me
While I clean this Slate
With the Hands of Uncertainty
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
For What I've Done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm Forgiving What I've Done
[Chorus]
What I've Done
Forgiving What I've Done
Holy Crap! I Can Reproduce? - Chapter Two
Edward's Point of View
I was worried. Alice said that we needed to leave New York as soon as possible, because we were expecting guests. As we got on the plane, she was recalling Calvin Klein's summer line."Alice what's going on?" I asked trying to break through her ever present wall. It worked and I saw the vision that had been plaguing me for the last few years. Bella and a little boy were playing in the snow. Bella was looking at the boy with pure love and admiration on her face. "That's nice Alice; drive the stake in a little farther. I'll back off, but I'll have you know if you are planning anything embarrassing like you did last time we left suddenly, I will burn you." I said recalling the little game she set up with Tanya. I will never play "I Have Never Again." Hell, after that I am never drinking again.
"No worries brother, you won't be admitting to your masturbation habits again. You want to see these guests."
In the Detroit layover I read the text to Jasper through Alice's mind. "He's reading this. Shopping when I say. Is everything ready?" All Jasper said was, "Yes." The damned pixie was up to something.
My heart was broken after leaving Bella. I can not believe I just walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to me in over a century. I didn't even look back. I just walked away, like she was a pathetic mortal. I deserve a bitch smack. According to Alice's visions, which I watched even though the killed me, she was happy. The little boy had been such a large part of her life since about a month after I left; Alice's vision rarely contained anything else.
I'd give anything to call Bella mine again. I missed her. She was my mate, the only one I could ever love. Without her, laugh, touch, smile, all of her, I was lost. She however, didn't feel the same. Alice's vision always contained the mystery boy, and none contained me. Bella had done what I asked her to do. She had moved on. I wanted her to be mine, but I royally screwed that up when I decided to leave her for her own good. If I could go back now, I would have never left.
During the Seattle layover, Alice sent another text. "What should E get for RCS?" Jasper sent back, "Computer." Alice checked her visions and pulled out a laptop.
"Edward, you need to get a gift for our guests." Alice told me. "They want a computer."
"So you want me to give them a used one. Nice Alice. I thought you of all people would be shocked about even thinking about giving a 'guest' something used." I said trying to see what she was planning.
"Not going to work Edward. I know what you are trying to do. Anyways you need to pick one out."
"How much do I like this guest?" I asked tentatively.
"They will become like family to you within an instant."
"Okay Alice, whatever you say. At least this got me out of Gucci, although I see enough of it in your head."
"I can always order it off the internet. That's what it's for."
"Really, I thought it was finding games to embarrass me in front of the girls you try to set me up with."
"I would never do that." Alice said with an evil smirk.
"Like I believe that." I told her as I went on to get the computer for our guests. Really they could be anyone, so I chose the Dell XPS fully loaded. A good computer, but not the best. I still had to endure nine hours of fashion torture from Alice.
I got lost in thoughts about my new place of residence; I couldn't call any place home because Bella wasn't there. I hadn't had a home since I left her in Forks. We first moved in with the Denali coven for a few months while we waited for Esme to find the perfect house. She finally settled on a beige monstrosity on the outskirts of North Pole. The house was similar to our home in Forks; large, open, and light. The biggest difference was that this house had two extra rooms, both seemed to be stocked for permanent guests, but I could never know what Alice was thinking. She really was too good at closing her mind. Our plane touched down in Fairbanks and Alice grabbed our bags while I went and got my new SUV. It was a Volvo XC90. It was the SUV version of my old car, only it was better for the snow and Bella's scent wasn't permanently embedded in the seats.
Alice's phone singing a horrible pop song awoke me from my depressing thoughts. I quickly tried to tap into her mind, but "K" was all I got. She really needed to take a lesson from Emmet and learn how to open herself up. She threw our bags into the car with dirty looks from the onlookers. I could care less what they thought of me. Alice was a big girl; she could throw suitcases into the car by herself. Hell, most of them were hers. As I speed towards the house, my thoughts drifted back to Bella. She was never far from my mind. I wondered if she had met the mystery guy yet.
Suddenly Alice was overcome with a vision. Bella was walking down the aisle with Charlie on one arm and the child on the other. Alice being Alice closed off the vision before I could see anymore. "Damn it, Alice! It's not like I'm going to go and whack the guy just for marrying her! Why can't I see what's going on in her life?"
"I hope you wouldn't go and kill him. That would hurt a lot of people, mainly you. I can't tell you because it will all be clear soon enough."
"Why are you so cryptic? You are always happy and bubbly, now you refuse to tell me anything."
We were pulling up to the house as our argument concluded. "Edward, I'm leaving now to go shopping. Can I please take your car? It has more room which I'll need."
"Sure Alice. Whatever you want."
I grabbed my bag as I got out of the Volvo. I could tell there was an extra person in the house, what surprised me was that they were human. Why would I want a human guest, I thought to myself? I opened the front door and was immediately assaulted by a sent I hadn't smelled fresh in almost five years. I dropped my bag and considered running, but I received a text from Alice that said, "It needs to happen." She was right of course. I just didn't want to get my heart broken again. Damn pixie. How could she do this to me?
With everything step to the dining room her scent got stronger. What surprised me was that Jasper was with her. This struck up my curiosity.
"Edward when you come in here don't do anything rash. She is here because she needs to tell you something that has been almost five years in the making. Don't run, this needs to happen." I scowled as he repeated Alice's words. I really hated my heart getting struck with a hammer. I wondered if it was solid enough to break. "She is really mad. Actually she is royally pissed off. Would you like to feel her rage?"
I said yes softly, knowing he could hear me. I was assaulted by anger so powerful; a newborn looked like an irritated kitten. I walked into the dining room, which was artfully decorated in cherry, chocolate, and beige, and stood before the person I had hurt. I hung my head down and waited for the assault.
"Well look who finally decided to show up, Mr. Hit It and Quit It." Ouch that hurt.
"Bella I-"
She was scowling at me her eyes which were normally peaceful were shooting daggers straight into my soul. "You left me. No way to contact. Completely alone. Fucking ass," her screams were really starting to make my ears throb. She was so mad; she wasn't even able to create a full sentence.
"Bella it was for your own-"I was immediately cut off. It hurt so bad to be yelled at by her. All I wanted to do was hug her and tell her how much I missed her.
"My own good! No it would have been proper to leave me at least some way to contact you in case of an emergency! I'm not a damn stalker I could have understood if you never wanted to see me. You could have left me an address, a phone number, an e-mail address. Fucking anything! Do you remember what happened before you left me, well do you? I gave you everything and you just left me like I was nothing. I am not some piece of skanky trash Edward. It hurts to lose your virginity to someone and then have them leave you." Wow, she really was mad. I understood now that I did do it wrong. I was starting to get mad though, she was hitting the wrong nerve.
"Yes. Bella I-"
"Shut the fuck up Edward. You don't just sleep with someone and then leave unless you are an asshole. You stole my virginity, for what. So you could leave me, and never talk to me again." She had it all wrong. I left so that she would be safe. I couldn't deal with the monster in me hurting her.
"That's not the case Bella. I never used you." As I said this I noticed a strange smell, it smelled like Bella's bed, the perfect blend of the two of us. It broke some of my frustration. "Jasper, what's that smell?" I asked, completely forgetting the fuming girl in front of me.
"Dude, she was starting to calm down and now you made her mad again. She is getting to it. Just be patient, and don't ignore her. It makes her feel like you don't care about her, and well that is NOT a good thing right now. She presently wants to rip you to shreds." Jasper answered.
Bella smiled at Jasper, I wondered where their new relationship came from. Probably, because I was no longer keeping him away from her. "Don't ignore me." Bella said in voice I had only heard from horror movies. She was scary angry. "You slept with me after Jasper attacked. That means you were already planning on leaving me, but you did it anyways. How dare you use me!"
"You asked me too," I replied quietly, "I wanted you to remember what we had."
"You bet you're ass I remember what we had. Every god damn day. If you were going to leave me, why did you do it? I couldn't forget you even if we hadn't have had sex. You should have known that."
"Why are you so mad?" I asked finally starting to submiss. She was right, what I did was messed up.
"Because you forgot something important. Really, does a condom mean anything to you?"
She was still human. What could she be talking about? My venom hadn't changed her. I waited around to make sure it didn't. She was just a very angry Bella.
"It's not your venom I'm talking about Edward, and yes you said that out loud." She said I was about to speak. "No, I'm talking about your sperm. You left me pregnant with no money and broken hearted. I had no way to contact anyone. Do you know how fucking hard it is to raise a baby by yourself? Let alone a baby you constantly have questions about. Having no clue what your child truly is sucks and you took that away from me."
"I left to protect you. I couldn't make our break-up harder on you by letting you see anyone else..." what she had just told me hadn't sunk in yet. I focused on the normal argument she put forth.
"That wasn't your fucking decision to make. It was theirs everyone, with the exception of Rosalie, has already told me that they wanted to stay in contact with me. That I was family to them. Your controlling ass however wouldn't let them" Bella's tone was starting to get quieter. Finally what she said about minute ago clicked. My jaw dropped and I felt giddy. I'm not sure why, but something about having a child with Bella sent joy to every pore in body. This was my child no one else's.
"I have a child?" I asked making sure I hadn't got it wrong.
"Now you get it. Yes, you do. A son named Ryan. He is defiantly yours; I have never been with anyone else. Why did you leave me without protection? Why did you take away my family?"
"I thought it would be better for you. I didn't know you were pregnant, and I thought a clean break would be easiest. I didn't think that you would need protection." What would she need protection from? We were gone, along with all of the other dangers from my world.
"It was a clean break that never healed. If it weren't for Ryan, I would still be an empty shell. Victoria came back for me. If it weren't for the wolves I would be six feet under, along with your son. Contrary to what you believe I was not better off without you. You broke my heart, for my safety. If you still loved me, which I know now, why did you leave? The whole wanting me to stay safe doesn't work when I already know everything. If you wanted to keep me safe you should have left when you first realized you were falling for me. What you did was inexcusable." She made perfect sense. She was mad because I left her with child, but she was even madder that I left after she fell in love with me. I could tell how bad it broke her heart.
"I wanted to protect you." I said, realizing how stupid it sounded.
"Then you should have changed me." Oh how true that was.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I know I messed up. Please forgive me."
"I will in time Edward. Now give me a hug, your son will be home soon."
I hugged Bella's body to my own. She smelled like orange and cherry blossoms like always. She had changed slightly over the years. She had filled out some, gaining curves I'd never thought I'd see. Her hair was slightly redder, but her eyes still had the same smoldering look about them. I could get lost in those eyes.
I heard Emmet's Jeep door slam and the squeals of joy from a four year old.
"Do I get to see Daddy now?" I heard the child ask. I was so nervous, thank god for an empath.
"We'll see midget, but most likely. He might have freaked out and ran to Russia when he saw your mom." Damn it Emmet. You always make me look bad.
The little footsteps tore through the driveway and up the porch at vampire speed. We had moved into the living room so he wouldn't break anything. Well, I did,everyone else just laughed at me. The child burst through the front door, and standing before me was my son.
"Hi. You're a real son of a bitch you know that right." I was shocked by his language. My son threw himself around my legs and started bouncing around in an Alice like way. "Mommy, I'm hungry." He said to Bella.
"Didn't Emmet feed you at all? Your eyes are black." Bella answered him. "You may have a snack, like an apple or something. I will make you dinner when I get home. Now, calling your dad a son of a bitch isn't really the proper insult. Pansy ass bastard suits him better. Now turn along and have fun I have a feeling your dad wants to yell at me about something." When did she start reading minds?
"Ok, by the way, daddy says he likes the changes on you." He said with a smirk. The little turd was trying to get me in trouble. Granted I was thinking that, wait I was thinking that
"Bella he can read minds, you let him curse, and he is speaking like an adult. What the hell?"
"I let him curse because he is mentally advanced. He knows what the words mean and when not to use them. He is allowed to say whatever he wants as long it has meaning behind it and is not purposely degrading to someone he has never met. He is not allowed to use racial slang. He has always been able to read minds; he comes in rather handy sometimes too. Anyways, you have some explaining to do yourself, Edward; having sexual thoughts about me already. We've only been reacquainted for an hour."
"He made it sound worse then it was. You look good Bella, and I like how you look. I guess I understand about his use of language."
"Good his party is tomorrow, and I have some errands to run. I need to call my mom and tell her that I found what I am looking for. Edward go spend some time with your son, you owe it too him."
I walked into the kitchen and saw my son devouring an apple eyeing the beef jerky sitting on the counter. I had no idea of what to say. I felt like hell. I had left my child. Granted I didn't know he existed, but still. Bella was raging mad at me. I could understand that, I mean I did leave her pregnant, and I took away the only family that she didn't have to raise. I wondered what my son was like. He seemed intelligent. More articulate then a four year old should be, with a lust for life that I had never seen before. He was a beautiful child, the perfect blend of Bella and me. I wondered how this happened. I wasn't supposed to be able to reproduce. As he ate his inner ring of his eye turned from black to a brilliant green. I suddenly wondered if his eye would change the corresponding color if he drank blood.
"Yes, Pansy, it would. Although mom would never allow me to drink blood. She says it's the vampire's job to teach me how to hunt." Ouch. Ok I deserved that.
"Can you read your mom's mind?" I said beginning on the new set of questions that had formulated in my mind. I wondered what term of endearment to use.
"Only if she lets me, which she rarely does. She only talks to me in my head when I'm miss behaving in public. You can call me whatever you want to. I'm partial to Ryan, kiddo, tyke, and master of the free world. I'd prefer you didn't call me leech like Aunt Leah does though. It's mildly offensive." It was weird having someone read my mind. This must be how my family feels.
"Leah calls you a leech? Why?" I asked feeling angry. Why would someone call a four year old who doesn't drink blood a leech?
"She hates you and my mom. The only reason why I haven't been burned yet is because Uncle Jake convinced the pack I wasn't dangerous. I'm even allowed on Quileute land." He beamed at this. He was still eyeing the beef jerky.
"Do you want some? I'm sure it's ok." I told him grabbing the bag. He immediately dug in. "So you go past the treaty line?"
"Well ya. It's kind of hard to protect someone when they are not near you. Besides, when I was first born, Jake was almost like a father to me."
"What happened?" This kid made me curious.
"He imprinted on Aunt Leah and she forbade him from spending time with my mom. I hate that bitch." Nice, the only friend Bella had left her for, who was Leah?
"Who's Leah?"
"My mom's step-sister."
"I really did miss a lot didn't I?" I asked my son.
"Only the first four years of my life, Charlie remarrying, Phil moving to Denver, a hostile vampire trying to rip me to shreds, and my first steps. You know that saying you need to walk before you can run. So not true in my case." He was sarcastic. I could get used to this.
"I'm sorry. I'll never leave again. Do you forgive me?"
"Well, I won't deny that I don't feel like ripping you to shreds right now, but I will forgive your dead-beat butt in time. So you want to play guitar hero, Emmet's busy trying to calm Rose down and Jasper is to absorbed in himself at the moment, so that leaves you. Not my first choice, but you must be better at it then mom." Sarcasm dripped from his words, I nodded and he led down to the game room.
The kid was surprisingly coordinated for a child of his age. He rarely missed a note, much like the other vampires in the house. Right now the only thing he was thinking was colors. When he was completely focused I could read his mind. However, it was just as bad as being blocked because all I could see was what he was focusing on. My son was perfect. Everything I could have hoped for.
My mind wandered and I searched for what everyone in the house was doing. Emmet was trying to make Rosalie see sense in something, Jasper was reading, and everyone else was away. That left me trying to bond with my son.
"Isn't that what we are doing now?" He asked me mentally. His mental voice was so strong it almost hurt.
"Well, yes, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right." I really was confused.
"Daddy, you are. Just don't get all analytical and you will be fine." He replied.
That was the first time he had called me something that wasn't derogatory. I beamed as I heard my phone go off and my Volvo pull into the driveway. For the first time in a long time I was happy.
End Notes- With this chapter I doubled my story! Hope you Enjoyed this monster. You finaly got to read Edward's reaction.