Disclaimer- Because I haven't put one in for awhile, I don't own anything you recognize.Change (In the House of Flies) - Deftones

I watched you change
into a fly
I looked away you were on fire
and I watched a change in you
it's like you never had
wings now you feel alive
I've watched you change
I took you home
set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
then I laughed
and I watched a change in you
now you feel alive
now you feel so alive
I've watched you change
like you never had wings
XXXXXX
I look at the cross
then I look away
give you the lungs to blow
me away

Falling Apart

Edward's Point of View

"CARLISLE," My scream rebounded on all the walls of the house. Bella was unconscious by my feet, bleeding from within. Her cries of pain from before the collapse echoed in my ears, feeding the ache growing in my heart. I didn't know if she would make it. The heat from her flushed flesh seemed to burn like fire, this was not the gentle warmth the she normally emitted, this was much more deadly.

Carlisle burst into the room panting from practiced exhaustion, habitual of any vampire doctor. He looked at my face and I broke into sobs. I pointed to the burning pale lump that was my mate, who knew if she was going to survive.

Carlisle placed a cool hand on her forehead, gasping at the heat. He picked her up and raced her towards the make shift hospital room that we had prepared for the baby, that god no one had thought to bring the room back to normal. He examined her at vampire speed, before letting his face fall.

Sobs overtook my body for a second time before the words even formed in his mind; she was too far gone to make it of this human. I looked at Carlisle pulling in the last bit of strength I had left to tell him what was on my mind. "Carlisle, I want to be her sire. I know in her heart this is what she wanted though not at this time. I can control myself."

I bent down to kiss my beloveds forehead, before whispering my apologies. Ryan came running into the room at this point, emotion threatening to break through. "Mom," he screamed launching himself at her broken and defeated form. He gripped Bella's waist, hugging her to him as if he'd never hold her again. "I love you Mom, please come back to me," he cried. Tears poured down his face, and Bella suddenly awoke at the sound of her child's distress.

"Ryan, I will be there for you always. You are my son, my only reason for living for four long years. No matter what happens to me now know that I will be in your memory always." Bella coughed out before her heart sputtered. The heat slowly began to leave her body, and I knew that she was going. I made Ryan leave, his sobs following him out.

I ripped open the shirt she was wearing, and bit the newly exposed skin over her heart. I began to drink, almost losing myself to the bloodlust. As her heartbeat failed again, I stopped and retched. The blood I had just ingested from Bella's body sprayed all over her. Carlisle still beside placed a hand on my shoulder. I heard the change in Bella's heartbeat knowing that I had succeeded and ran from the room, hoping to escape the pain I felt overwhelming me.

I ran, not caring where I was going, just to get away. I needed to escape the pain in my soul, the self hatred I felt for being a monster. I had doomed someone good, selfless, and loving to an eternity of damnation. I took away her choice of change. Maybe, she would have thought death to be better? We hadn't discussed the timeframe after the brief conversation all those months ago. Now, she was surely writhing in pain without me there to guide her.

I cried in tearless sobs for the baby I wanted and would never have. Rose has taken that away from me. In Bella giving her everything she always wanted, she denied me the chance of holding my own child in my arms from the moment of birth. I would always have Ryan, true, but never the chance to see my baby grow. I cried for the loss of the human part of Bella, never again would she blush. She would forever be held to the limitations the world she has chosen imposed on her.

I chose to hunt picking up the smell of a predator. The bear was close, though threatened by me. Who wasn't? I am evil to the highest degree; it is almost surprising that Jesus himself hasn't cast me out of this existence. I lurched at the bear, easily finding the vein in his neck. I drained the poor creature, and regained some sense of rational thought.

I need to get to Bella, she needs me. I ran back to the house, never pausing. She can turn me away if she wants to, I need to see her and hold her. She may never want to see me again when she awakes, I want to hold her to me this one last time.

The run home was uneventful, plagued by my own dark thoughts. When I arrived Alice was standing on the porch with a far away look on her pixie like face. "Edward, this was the only way." She told me, bringing back my anger and pain.

I launched myself at her, my teeth millimeters away from her smooth neck. "If you saw this Alice, why didn't you fix it?" I hissed my pain and anger dripping from the words.

"There was no other way to keep her happy. She wanted this, and you will forgive yourself in time." I ran away from her trying to get to Bella, Emmett caught me unsure of what to say. His thoughts were a cross between sorrow and happiness. At least someone was happy from the shit storm the baby has started. He said nothing. I passed him without incident. If he were to speak I may have killed him.

My sanity returned a little more, bringing me back to my present situation. The house was quiet except for Bella's breathing and racing heartbeat. Ryan was out with someone, Rose I assumed. Apparently she left as I went on my tirade.

I walked into Carlisle's office, and too immediate notice of Bella. I had no idea how long I was gone for, but apparently there was little change in her demeanor. She looked at me with burgundy eyes and pointed to the chair in front of her.

"Edward, I have been keeping my sanity long enough to talk to you. First, I need to say that I have had worse pain. Second, is that I have no idea how happy and understanding I will be this is over. Promise to follow me to the ends of the earth, and when I come out of the emotions I will be feeling you will be there. I have just lost most hopes of a future, and I need to come to terms with that. At least Alice knew to hold the wedding when she did, if not I would be a wreck." Her calmness took me by surprise. Maybe she wouldn't hate me. "Edward, I am mad at the situation not you. Do not go all melodramatic and blame yourself. I will be mad when I wake up, but for now I am going to finally give into what I should be feeling." With that she started screaming.

"I promise Bella," my words getting drowned out by her screams.

"Alice, can I hold her," I whispered to my sister.

"No she will feel the anger towards everyone when she awakes and physical attention at this point is a bad idea. Sit by her and comfort her. Also change her into the clothes I have picked out." Alice told me before she walked away.

Bella's screams rang in my ears for the next two days. I could never escape them, even when I left. I think they may haunt me the rest of my existence. I finally awoke from my thoughts when I heard Bella's heart beat for the last time.

End Notes- Well there you have it Bella's change. I am so sorry for the short chapters, but this is the logical point to close this one at. The next one will be in Bella's point of view and be almost as dark. I'm not sure how I want to take Bella's change quite yet, so there will be anywhere from 4-6 chapters left.