Sorry for not updating for a while. I hope you like this chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own the plot or Characters. It is purely fanbased!
Chapter 9
Two weeks passed, and they hadn't listened to the tapes. Atticus could barely stand to be around Chazz. He was furious that Chazz and the nerve to do that to his little sister and then act like that never happened around him. The thing that really bugged him was the fact that Alexis never told him.
"Damn it!" Atticus roared, slamming his fist into the wall, successfully forming a fist-sized dent. He repeated slamming his fist into the crater.
"Why, Alexis?" Atticus murmured softly.
"Why; that is the question for everything your sister is did, Atticus." Zane said. He finally decided to intervene.
"It is, isn't it?" Atticus whispered. Zane raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"'Why are you always studying?' 'Why are you ignoring me?' 'Why don't you like the guys I set you up with?' 'Why do you always hang out with Zane?' 'Why are you in the Society of Light?' 'Why are you hanging out with them?' And who could forget the last thing I said to her: 'Why are you my sister?'" Atticus said bitterly.
"Thanks, Zane." He said sarcastically.
"You thought of those reasons for yourself. I was referring to since you received the tapes." The elder Truesdale said.
"You are on those tapes too, Truesdale." The brunette growled out.
"And I am well aware of that fact; however she sent you those tapes first. Therefore, they are your property until you send them to Cook." Zane said. His voice remained calm, but just like Atticus he wasn't exactly the most cheerful.
"Should we finish listening to the tapes?" Atticus asked in a barely audible voice.
"You told my brother that he was going to finish it. So are you. You owe Lexi that." Zane said.
"She never gave me a chance to help her!" Atticus growled out. His eyes clashed with Zane's.
"How do you know that? What if she did and we didn't notice it. I am not saying you are the only one at fault here!" Zane growled out.
"But I am at fault. That is what you are saying." Atticus said. Their little conversation just turned into a diatribe.
"Yes!" Zane growled out. He tried to make his voice sound calm, but he failed. You could hear the fury in his tone, just waiting to be let out completely. "All of us are at fault, even me. You pushed her over the edge, not intentionally, to date guys. James Cook humiliated her. Sadie betrayed her trust. Bastion used her for his own gain. Jesse Anderson stole her privacy. Alice also used her to make her seem like an amazing girl school wide. Chazz tried to get her to fuck him. Who knows what Jaden, Syrus, and I did." Zane said. He was angry at his best friend. He was furious at what other people did to Alexis. Most of all, he was upset that Alexis was gone.
Atticus looked at his friend dumbfounded. Never had he heard Zane speak so much, especially not when it was directed at him in an angry manner.
"We are all at fault because we all had a chance to stop her, but we didn't. I don't know all the reasons for why we missed it, but we did. And now she is dead because of our fucking mistakes! And now after you threatened my little brother about him not finishing the tapes, you decide to chicken out! Syrus wasn't that close to Alexis, he never had been. She died, that was all it was to him. They were not close, but you two use to be. She looked up to you when we were little and I wouldn't doubt for a second that it changed. She loved you and she was always glad you were her older brother no matter what stupid shit you pulled, she loved you. You should damn well finish the tapes. You owe her that. And I will make sure you finish those tapes." Zane declared.
"Zane…" Atticus said in a bewildered tone. He couldn't believe that his quiet best friend just went off on him.
"I'll go get them." Atticus murmured after a few minutes of silence. "Set up the tapes please?" Zane nodded.
Atticus went out the door and headed to the slifer dorm.
Once everyone was back into Atticus's dorm—Chazz being far away from the two elder students—they began to listen to the tape.
My favorite class throughout the school had to be Prep. 101. It was a time where we could study, or ask our teacher questions related to anything: pregnancy, anorexia nervosa or any eating disorder, dating, nutrition, you name it we can discuss it. The best part about that class was that no one talked about the rumors. We all have one teacher teaching Prep. 101, but we have different periods and we only go twice a week. So everyone knew Ms. Dorothy's rule—No snickering. If you did, you owed her a snickers bar. I was safe in that room.
I remember she had a box that we could place an idea for a topic in. Guess what mine was—suicide. I wanted to know more about it. My curiosity about my death was growing on me. I wanted to know more and more about the signs, the symptoms.
Syrus and Jaden looked at each other. "So it was her," The youngest Truesdale said.
"What do you mean?" Bastion asked.
"Well, Ms. Dorothy brought up the topic about suicide, but we didn't know who asked to make it a topic. They left it anonymous." Jaden said.
She passed out a few papers about suicide: the symptoms, its affects on the human psyche, and the top ten causes.
I looked at the first paper she gave us—the symptoms.
"Wait! Pause the tape real quick!" Syrus said.
"Why?" The elder Truesdale asked.
"Because, I think I have the sheets she was talking about!" Syrus said, he began to dig into his backpack. "Ah ha I found it!" Syrus said. He laid it flat on the table, so that everyone could see it.
"Do you have the other ones?" Jaden asked.
"Yeah, I do." Syrus said. He got out the other two sheets of paper and placed them next to the symptoms sheet.
Symptoms Sheet:
talking about dying: talk of disappearing, jumping, shooting oneself or other expressions of self-harm.
recent loss: death, divorce, a broken relationship or loss of a job can all lead to thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts. Other losses that can be indicative of suicide include loss of religious faith and a loss of interest in one's friends or activities the individual once enjoyed.
change in personality: the individual may exhibit unusual signs of fatigue, indecisiveness or anxiousness.
change in behavior: lack of concentration in work, school or everyday activities, such as household chores.
change in sleeping patterns: oversleeping, insomnia and other types of sleep disturbances can be suicide signs and symptoms.
change in eating habits: loss of appetite or an increased appetite; other changes can include increased or decreased weight.
decreased sexual interest: such changes can include impotence or irregular or missed periods.
low self-esteem: this suicide symptom can be exhibited through emotions such as shame, inferiority or self-hatred.
fear of loss of control: the individual worries about losing her sanity and about harming either herself or others.
lack of hope for the future: another suicide warning sign is that the individual feels that there is no hope for the future and that things will never improve.
I read over the symptoms list repeatedly. "Well, they are forgetting the most well known symptom—A change in appearance." Ms. Dorothy said.
Who know I was so predictable. I changed my appearance, drastically. My long blonde hair is now a short choppy coffee color. I already figured I lost my sanity and thoughts about my death were increasing dramatically. I mentioned how I rarely ate, unless in front of Zane. I hated myself for allowing people to walk all over me, but I never stopped them. I was turning into a pessimist. I can't forget my lack of sleep. Over the course of six months, I probably only got seventy two good hours of sleep, so to say I was sleep deprived was probably an understatement.
So why couldn't someone notice? Jaden, Syrus, Mindy, Jasmine, anyone! Yet no one noticed.
Alexis's voice was breaking. She tried to make sure it was leveled. She was failing though.
"She's crying." Atticus whispered.
"How do you know?" Jaden asked.
"Her tone, she is pretending it didn't affect her, but you can tell since she is holding back." Atticus replied.
No one noticed the symptoms in me. I was in that class during that discussion! I asked questions about it, yet no one even paid a single bit of attention.
"Who asked this, Ms. Dorothy?" a random girl asked.
"Well, I don't know." She looked around the room. I bet she was waiting for someone to own up to it. I wouldn't though.
"I bet they just wanted attention." This time it was Jaden who said it. I felt hurt, but I was damned if I let that show.
Well this tape isn't about Jaden. It is about Syrus stealing my comments.
"Stealing what comments?" Atticus asked, his gaze now focused on the youngest Truesdale. Syrus said nothing.
You see, Ms. Dorothy said that giving compliments might be hard. So she made us make bags were we could write a compliment about someone and put it in there bag. Well, I didn't get any comments, which surprised me. I mean I didn't expect a whole lot, but not a thing nice thing about my hair cut or the change in color? It made me curious. I hadn't gotten any compliments in over two weeks. One day during the last ten minutes of class Ms. Dorothy called free time, I checked my bag. I waited after everyone was done, on purpose to see if someone was taking mine. I found out it was Syrus.
Zane directed his gaze at his younger brother who was fidgeting. "Syrus," Zane said in a deadly tone.
"Yes, big bro?" Syrus asked in a craven voice.
Zane didn't say a thing to his brother; instead he smacked him on the head hard.
"Ouch!" Syrus said. He rubbed the spot where his brother hit him, but said nothing else.
The next day, I wrote a note and placed it in my bag and waited for you, Syrus, to take the bait. You waited until the end of class, when no one was around. I was outside the class room and peaked in every few minutes. Suddenly, you came out of the class room, with a few notes.
You were looking at a card when you bumped into me. "Sorry," You said looked up at me. "Oh, Hey Alexis." You said. Then you continued to walk down the hall. You looked at a few more cards before you suddenly halted.
You turned around and looked at me. Your eyes were wide. You saw what I wrote. You see Syrus, as I explained before, I realized it was you. I caught you in the act. So that note I wrote and placed in my bag was to you. I waited for you to say something to me, but all you did was look at me with your big deer eyes.
"Why?" I said. My voice was just above a whisper. I looked directly at you Syrus.
You began to turn around, the way towards your previous goal: the door that lead out of the hallway. You wanted to escape, I could tell.
"Why?" I asked again. My voice was louder. You started to walk away from me. You were ignoring me.
Suddenly, I snapped. I don't know what came over me but whatever it was broke. My foundation crumbled. The crack Chazz left me in reduced to rubble. My foundation was gone.
"WHY? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?" I screamed. I yelled at you. I cursed your name repeatedly. I slammed my hand against the wall and stomped my feet. I was being childish and I knew that, but for once I didn't give a singledamn about what anyone said.
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT TO ME? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?" I screamed. Whatever control I had left snapped. My tears—that I tried so hard to prevent—flooded my vision. I couldn't see my vision grew hazy as the tears continued to pour down my face.
"Why?" I murmured. I fell down on my knees.
"I heard Alexis had a huge outburst in the corridor." Chazz murmured.
"I am surprised the rumors were true." Bastion murmured.
"What rumors?" Syrus asked.
"The ones that said you were the cause of her public break down." Bastion replied.
"Oh…" Syrus looked down at his hands. He rotated his thumbs around the other repeatedly.
Atticus hand twitched. He lifted it up, about to smack Syrus when Zane grabbed it. "Don't."
"Why shouldn't I?" Atticus barked out.
"Because," Zane said. Next thing Syrus knew, he was hit by his elder brother again."I wanted to."
Atticus laughed. "Alright, that is a good reason."
I was distraught. I couldn't think of a single reason that would cause you to do this. I might have not talked to you that much, Syrus, but I never did anything as bad as what you did to me.
I was still on my knees, but I was alone in the hallway. Everyone else left. I asked myself what my brother would tell me in a time like this. I couldn't think of anything.
"Alexis," I heard someone say. It was a male and someone I knew so well and would have loved to see anytime other than this one. "Go away, Zane."
I clutched my waist, attempting to pull myself together. Syrus already hurt me; I couldn't let Zane see me like this. Although Zane is not one to pity people, my current situation was pretty pathetic. I heard footsteps and figured that he was doing what I said. I was wrong. He ended up sitting next to me.
"Get to class, Zane." I said. He was being stubborn though.
"Why are you on your knees?" He asked me.
"I am at the bottom." I told him. Zane is someone everyone wishes that they were close to. He was loyal and sweet.
Atticus snorted. "Sweet my ass, Zane is a bastard when he is angry."
"You would know." Zane said. He wasn't really paying attention. He remembering that day Alexis was talking about. He remembered it clearly.
"Yes because earlier today you would have killed me if I gave you motive!" Atticus replied hotly.
"Well, like my mother always said: When you're on your knees you are in the perfect position to pray." I smiled at what he said.
Zane had no idea that just that little phrase was what I needed. "Go to class, Zane. You are going to be late."
"We are already late, Alexis." Zane pointed out.
"I am going back to my room; I'm not really fit to go to class." It wasn't a lie. I could never lie to Zane. My next class had you in it, and I was already an emotional wreck. I would only get worse if I had to see you again, Syrus.
"Do you want me to walk you there?" He asked me. I smiled, but shook my head.
"You should get to class." He ended up leaving, but not before helping me off the ground.
So, my question to you, Syrus, is why couldn't you be like Zane? I know he is hard to measure up to. He is the best duelist at the school, he has tons of girls fawning over him, he is well-mannered, and the teachers' favorite student. Those are high expectations to beat, I admit that. But I didn't say you had to become Zane. But being like him isn't hard—be polite and try your hardest at everything you do, but most of all respect people. I still don't know what I did to piss you off to the point that you had to steal the only thing that made me feel even an ounce of significance, but whatever it was—I am sorry. Flip the tape over to hear my next tale.
"She's sorry?" Atticus frowned. "If anyone should be sorry, it should be Syrus." Atticus huffed.
Zane smacked his brother for the third time.
"Will you quit hitting me?" Syrus growled out.
"Be glad I am the one hitting you. If it was mother it would be a hell of a lot worse." Zane growled out. Whatever anger he felt towards Chazz and Atticus earlier transferred to his younger brother.
"Why?" Jaden asked.
"Our mother adored Alexis." Zane said.
"Too much if you ask me," Atticus murmured.
"Well no one asked you." Chazz replied.
"Ouch!" This time, it was Chazz who got smacked…by Atticus.
Zane smacked his brother on the head, hard, one more time. "Go to your dorm, all of you. It is almost curfew." Then Zane got up and went into the room connected to the dorm room.
The two brunettes, the youngest Princeton and the youngest Truesdale—who probably had a concussion by now—followed Zane's command and headed back to their dorm.
Jaden stopped at the door. He was the last to go. "Are we going to come back tomorrow to listen to the other side?" He asked.
"Yeah," Atticus replied. "Zane will calm down by tomorrow."
"Alright," Jaden said "Good night."
"Night, Jaden." Atticus said.
Thanks for all who reviewed the last chapter.
Words you might not know:
Craven- timid, scared.
Diatribe- bitter verbal attack
Now, I am debating on something critical to the story. I decided to let you guys decided.
Do you want Zane's story to be next?
Yes ?
No?
Tell me in your review please. :D