One more Chapter to go! Oh my god I am so happy! Haha. I even have a story idea for another one. :) Lol. I hope you guys enjoy this. I really tried to make this work out into the story. I think I did pretty well. I hope you guys agree!

Disclaimer: I do not own the plot or Characters. It is purely fanbased!

Chapter 13

Reputations change. However, it takes years to change it. Right now, my reputation was my classification as a Whore. That is because of Harrington; this tape is all for him.

"So, Harrington is the victim now." Bastion said.

"Harrington is the victim?" Atticus hissed. "Misawa, if anyone is the victim it is for damn sure not him!"

"Calm down, Atticus." Bastion said.

"You want me to calm down when you just classified one of the most fucked up kids on campus as a victim of my sister? Fuck you." Atticus growled out.

"Both of you just shut the hell up!" Zane roared.

Everything went silent from there. No one made a sound.

So Harrington, do you feel accomplished in your life? You ruined mine, you should be. Then again, maybe that is a part of my sick twisted mind. I am apparently a hypochondriac so it doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter if my reputation is ruined, because I wanted to know more about mental health; I thought I had depression.

"It's common for stressed teens to go through a little stage of depression." The nurse would tell me.

My favorite quote the school counselor gave me was: "Oh, Ms. Rhodes, you are just exaggerating."

So I must be a bloody hypochondriac. Or suffer from Munchausen since I obviously am only interested in suicide to gain attention. Why does all of this matter to you? How would you be affected if I was hypochondriac or suffer from Munchausen? Well the answer was simple: I didn't get those "mental conditions" until you started my whoring reputation.

My "conditions" didn't start—nor did they exist!—until you spread that rumor. But that isn't why you are on this tape.

"What is Munchausen?" Jaden asked.

"Munchausen Syndrome is a psychiatric disorder in which a person consciously fakes the symptoms of a physical disorder for attention

"Okay. So what is a hypochondriac then?" Syrus questioned.

"Hypochondriasis, or Hypochondria, is a mental disease that is deals with abnormal fear of having a serious medical condition." Atticus replied.

"How do you know that?" Chazz asked in shock.

"I always watched medical shows with Alexis." The elder brother of the deceased Rhodes responded.

It was after that incident with Mindy. I couldn't face myself. So I tried to punish myself. I walked around the island over and over again. I didn't even eat any meals, I just kept walking. I must have been exhausted, but I really didn't care.

I walked until late the next night. It was pure luck that it was a Saturday that meant no school, only more parties. What better way than to drown out my sorrows with a few bottles of booze? But when I got to one of the parties, I just couldn't drink.

Every time I tried to down a bottle of alcohol, I remembered what happened with Mindy, and someone died because of it. The guilt just came back. So I couldn't. My plan vanished. So I did the next best thing—jump into the ocean.

You know that amazing feeling you feel when adrenaline surges through your veins? I wanted that feeling. The perfect way to do that was to jump into the freezing cold ocean for a nice swim. I was going to, but I saw you there Harrington.

"I don't like where this is going." Atticus murmured. Zane nodded in agreement.

"I don't think anyone does." Jaden said. The other three boys nodded in agreement.

You smoothed talked your way into convincing me to go swimming in my undergarments. Well you thought you did. I didn't fall for you Casanova talking. So why did I end up doing what you wanted me to do, Harrington? I will save you the trouble of trying to figure it out. I did it because I didn't care anymore. I didn't care what people were going to say about me, I was going to die. Of course you didn't know that at the time. Even if you did, would you do something about it, probably not.

"Alexis did that?" Atticus gaped.

"No reason to judge, Atticus." Zane responded.

"I'm not judging her. I am just shocked." Atticus responded.

We hung out with each other. You smooth talking your way into what you want. You moved closer, a little at a time. You made sure not to scare me, make me want to leave. You acted as if you cared about me.

"Why are you so isolated now?" You would ask. I wouldn't respond.

"Are you afraid? Do you hate being around people? Did someone hurt me?"

I wouldn't tell you the answers, but yeah many people hurt me, including you. My brother made me go on a date with you. You spread those rumors about me. Those rumors caused James Crocodile Cook to start that list. Sadie slammed me because of James's list. I joined the Society of Light to get away; I ended up meeting Bastion again and he betrayed me. Next, Jesse used me for his peeping tom purposes. I asked Alice for help, she ended up using me. Then I just started avoiding people entirely. But I grew lonely, so what did I do? I tried that dating survey the school had and ended up getting called a "Fucking Tease" by Chazz. Then Syrus had the guts to take away the only thing that held up my firm defense—my foundation. Jaden allowed a girl to get raped, but so did I. I don't want to know what would have happened if I let Zane hurt me.

"Alexis," Atticus whispered. He hurt her; they all did—well all but Zane.

Zane looked at the cartridge with cold eyes. He was upset, but he wasn't going to show it.

"Why didn't anyone stop us?" Syrus questioned.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Jaden asked.

"She was afraid." Bastion said.

So why was I letting you move your hand closer to my inner thigh? I wouldn't let Chazz do it. So why did I let you? I had given up by the time I saw you. I had my plan set. How I was going to kill myself, when, where. Everything was planned out. I couldn't even say the word, let alone think it when I saw Chazz. Now I can. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. What a wonderful way to go. Suicide: so quick, so painless, and so phenomenal.

There are many addictions.

A shot to kill the pain, a pill to drain the shame, a purge to stop the gain, a cut to break the vein, a smoke to ease the crave, and a drink to win the game. An addiction is an addiction because it all hurts the same.

My addiction was death. Not just any death, my death. I was fascinated by it. So far it was the only thing that held my interest for longer than a few minutes. It was the only thing I could control.

"Oh my God," Atticus murmured.

"Lexi," Zane sighed. He didn't understand why she didn't come to him. Never did he harm her. He was always there to console her, always offered advice. And just because everyone else harmed her in some way didn't mean he would. He was hurt that she would think that. But he couldn't blame her. If he was her, he wouldn't trust anyone either.

I let you do things no one else would ever dare to do. But that was only because I didn't give a damn. I wasn't a whore; I was just someone who gave up. There was no point for me to do anything, so why should I? So I sat there, in my undergarments while you touched my inner thigh, slowly creeping closer to your goal.

"She didn't stop him? Why?" Jaden questioned.

"She gave up, she made that clear." Bastion said.

"She could have told us! We would have helped her anytime!" Jaden roared.

"Would you?" Zane asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" Jaden growled.

"Why didn't you while you had the chance?" Zane shot back.

"I didn't see you trying, Truesdale!" Chazz shot back.

"I did damn it!" Zane roared. "Every single day I tried to talk to her. Whether I had to talk to her during passing period, before breakfast, or after school, I tried to talk to her! I went to her dorm, waited outside class rooms; even skipped lunch just to try to see why was avoiding us, why she was avoiding me!"

The other boys were speechless.

"Where the hell was I when this happened?" Atticus asked.

"You aren't the hardest person to slip past, Atticus." Zane responded. That was the only thing he said. His attention was turned back towards the tape.

You were the only person I allowed to do that. You were the only one who made your rumor true. But to be a whore you would have to spread your legs for anyone. I didn't spread my legs for you or anyone else. No, I just stayed still in the cold water while you touched me. I didn't care about anything at all. I was done. Just like your tape. Flip it over to hear the final tale.

"Want to flip the tape over today or do you want to wait until tomorrow?" Syrus asked.

"Flip it over now, Sy." Atticus said.

"Okay," Syrus did as he was told.

Today I ran into Zane. That weird effect took place again. I began to doubt if I wanted to die. I analyzed each reason for why I wanted to die, then each reason why I shouldn't. The pros of my suicide—in my point of view at the time—were far greater than the "cons". Only one reason was why I shouldn't was it would let people down, especially my brother and Zane. I worked so hard to prove them that I was worthy of their attention. They never belittled me, but they are the type of people that you need to prove your worth too, whether you wanted them to or not.

So although I still felt strongly about suicide, I began to doubt if I really wanted it. I decided to give life one more attempt. I was going to try to save myself, yet again.

It would be far more difficult than I wanted to even attempt at. But, I had to try. How would I be "giving life another try" if I didn't attempt to save my own ass? So, decided to pick out who I was going to tell.

I couldn't tell Chancellor Sheppard, he would notify my brother, or worse…my parents.

I couldn't tell my friends, they would think I lost it. Besides were they really my friends?

"So she isn't thinking about suicide now?" Chazz questioned.

"Apparently not," Syrus said.

"So then what is she planning?" Jaden solicited.

"To tell someone," Atticus said, he had approval in his voice. Right when she really needed help, she actually tried to get help. He was happy, but sad that it failed. The good thing is, is that she tried.

I decided to go to the only person I knew that wouldn't be able to give out my information, my counselor. Due to my confidentiality agreement he could not tell anyone. I wasn't harmful towards anyone else, so he couldn't tell. I was probably a hazard to myself, but if I asked for it to remain private his agreement to my privacy wasn't annulled.

So I planned what I was going to do. I even have our conversation on this tape. I hope you enjoy it.

"She had the tapes before the last one. She recorded the actual conversation!" Syrus said.

"Yes we know." Chazz rolled his eyes.

"So who is her counselor?" Jaden asked.

"Crowler," Atticus replied.

So tell me what you think of this chapter. I hope you guys like it. =)