Jean Grey is a Cheat

Fred's business office was on the top floor of the building with his lab down below. He walked in and saw his accounting clerk, Lucid working.

"Hey Lucid! How's it hanging!" Fred said cheerfully.

"Not bad Mr. Dukes," Lucid said. "Some part I got…"

"My stepdaughter Rogue is getting married," Fred told him as he went to the safe in the corner and started to fiddle with the combination. "Nice guy. A bit afraid of fire but you know…"

Lucid's eyes widened and he started to get very nervous. "Oh, that's n-nice. Congratulations."

"I'm gonna make her a wedding present," Fred grinned. "Thought I'd better do it right now before I forget it. I can drop them on my way to…" He opened the door and saw an empty safe. "Okay that's funny. Where are those bonds?"

"Bonds?" Lucid asked innocently. "What bonds?"

"The bonds that are supposed to be inside this safe," Fred pointed.

Lucid came from beyond the desk and looked. "There's nothing in there."

"I can see that!" Fred snapped.

"Really? Oh I thought you know since I can see things with the door closed…" Lucid said nervously. Fred glared at him. "Okay, shutting up now."

"Where are the bonds? I know I put them in there!" Fred snapped.

"Gee I don't know," Lucid gulped. "No clue how they got out of there. Nope. Not a bit. What are you looking at me for? I don't know anything. Why would I know anything? Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Mind's a blank on this one. I haven't a clue…"

Fred grabbed him by the neck and lifted him up with one hand. "Then again…" Lucid coughed. "Maybe Miss Grey has them?"

"Oh really?" Fred asked sarcastically. "She does, doesn't she?" He casually threw Lucid into the wall. Then he stormed out.

Lucid however was stuck headfirst into the wall. "Medic…"

A few hours later in a very glamorous penthouse apartment Jean Grey was wearing a stylized gold dress preparing a cocktail for Duncan Matthews, a goodfella wanna be. "How do you want it?" Jean asked.

"Straight," Duncan was looking at a magazine. "Geeze look at all this stuff you girls wear! And how does that go on? Doesn't that hurt? And can you really do that with an orange? And what is the deal with the midget and the poodle?"

Just then Fred burst into the apartment. Duncan instinctively reached for his gun. "You're in the wrong place Tubby!" He snapped.

Fred merely grabbed the gun and crumpled it into a ball. Then slammed Duncan into the wall with one punch. "Or not…" Duncan moaned.

"What are you…?" Jean asked. "Uh oh…"

"Yeah, uh oh," Fred growled.

"We were just having a little drink," Jean told him.

"So I see," Fred remarked giving her the once over.

"Don't tell me, let me guess…" Duncan got to his feet. "The boyfriend, right?"

"I think you'd better go Duncan," Jean said.

"Good idea," Fred said. "Let me show you the door."

"No that's okay," Duncan nervously inched away. "I can find it myself. I don't want you to go to any trouble."

"Oh its no trouble at all," Fred drawled. He grabbed Duncan by the shirt and threw him at the closed door. "Oh silly me. That door wasn't open. Let's try this again."

This time he opened the door but slammed Duncan into a wall next to the door. "Whoops. I missed," Fred said cheerfully. "You know what they say, third time's the charm!"

The third time he kicked Duncan out of the door. "There you go! Have a nice walk down the stairs!" Fred waved cheerfully.

"OW! OW! OW! THIS HURTS!" Duncan screamed as he tumbled down the steps.

Fred slammed the door and glared at Jean. "All right, who was that guy?"

"Just a guy I used to know," Jean shrugged. "Nobody important. AND I MEAN THAT!"

"I thought you'd given up on that sort of friend," Fred grunted.

"Give me a break," Jean told him. "I haven't seen the guy in years. I Didn't want him to think I was stuck up. NOT ONE WORD ROGUE!"

Off camera Rogue called out. "I didn't say a thing."

"Don't worry you won't see him again," Jean sighed. "Okay so what happened? You change your mind about going?"

"No, I just wanted to get those bonds," Fred folded his arms.

"Bonds? What bonds?" Jean asked.

"The government bonds that were in my office safe," Fred told her. "The ones you took."

"Oh those bonds," Jean said nonchalantly. "You told me to sell them a long time ago."

"No I didn't," Fred snapped. "I'd never tell you to sell me those bonds! I bought them for Rogue."

"Yes you did. Don't you remember?" Jean put her hand to her forehead. "You told me to sell the bonds. Repeat after me…"

"Nice try, Red!" Fred snapped. "Don't bother trying to wipe my mind either!"

"Right," Jean frowned. "I can't erase what isn't there."

"Ha ha," Fred said sarcastically. "Look Jean, you're counting a little too much on my absent mindedness and your powers. You've been taking a little here and there for some time and I haven't said anything about it. But this is over a couple million dollars! Nobody else had the combination to that safe. You took them! Now what did you do with them!"

"Oh all right!" Jean snapped. "What if I did take them? I'm sick and tired of seeing you hand out money to that worthless family of yours!"

"That's my business!" Fred snapped.

"Supporting that gang of loafers! There's not a one of them that gives a damn about you!" Jean ranted. "A wife that threw you out the first time your foot slipped and a couple of insane spoiled brats! They wouldn't raise a hand to help you and I've given my whole life for you! If you kicked off tomorrow where would I be? In the gutter. QUICKSILVER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!"

"I wasn't going to say anything!" Pietro giggled off camera. "I swear!"

"Sure I took those bonds!" Jean admitted. "Who has a better right?"

"The IRS?" Pietro shouted off camera.

"I believe someone told you to shut up?" Fred snapped at Pietro. Getting back into character he said to Jean. "Listen you! I want that money and I want it now! Or else I'll hand you over to the police!"

"You wouldn't?" Jean snapped.

"Wanna bet!" Fred went over to the phone. "They'll be pretty rough with you and your record…"

"That's a fine thing to throw in my face after all I've done for you!" Jean snapped.

"Believe me I'd love to throw more at you!" Fred snapped as he was about to dial. Jean used her powers to yank the phone out of his grasp. "I do have a cell phone you know?"

"Look," Jean relented. "I don't have all of it. All I've got is twenty five thousand."

"TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND?" Fred shouted. "Where's the rest of it? Not even you can spend that much so fast at the mall! You're gonna return every penny!"

"I don't have it! I never had it! I…" Jean stopped.

"Then there was someone in it with you!" Fred interrupted. "Who was it? Who…? Never mind. I think I have a pretty good idea!"

"What are you going to do?" Jean asked. Fred gave her a strange look. "Do you have gas or something?"

"That's my evil look," Fred was miffed.

"Really?" Jean blinked. "It wasn't that evil."

"It wasn't?" Fred was disappointed. He tried another look. "How about this one?"

"No not quite," Jean shook her head. "But if you're going for a concussion that's that look I'd use."

"Okay how about this one?" Fred tried again.

"A little better but it's not really that menacing," Jean said.

"How about this one?" Fred made a very menacing look.

"Great! Now you've got it," Jean said.

"Okay I'm off to do something evil! Oh sorry! Got out of character here!" Fred got back into character. Jean looked horrified as he left.

Next: We finally meet the detective, the spouse and the cute little dog that steals the show. And three guesses who plays that last part.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Rahne ran out. "Forget it! No way! I already play a bloody dog in every other stupid fic! I'm not gonna be one in this one!"