Anybody Get The Number of that Martini?

Not long later in Todd and Althea's hotel apartment…

"Ooooohhhh," Todd lay on the bed with an ice pack firmly secured on his forehead. "What hit me?"

"The last martini," Althea casually mixed another cocktail. "Want a pick me up?"

"NO!" Todd snapped. Then winced in pain. "How come you ain't got a hangover?"

"I'm Shipwreck's daughter, remember?" Althea told him.

"I forgot. With your bloodline anything less than an entire bar full of liquor can't hurt you," Todd moaned. "I can't lie here. I gotta help you trim that damned Christmas tree."

The Coyote bounded over. "Rise and shine! Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" He licked his face.

"Why are you so cheerful this morning?" Todd grunted. Then the doorbell rang. "Now who could that be?"

"Santa Claus," Althea quipped. "Take it easy. I'll get it." She left the room and went to open the door. She saw Kelly who looked even more hung over than Todd was. "Kelly! How are you doing?"

"How do I look like I'm doing?" Kelly moaned. "What was I drinking?"

"You don't want to know. Come on in," Althea let him inside.

"Thank you," Kelly staggered inside. "Oh my head. Why am I here again? Great I forgot my lines…"

"I wonder if Todd Fan has these problems?" Althea remarked. She got a copy of the script out and handed them to him. "Here. Read."

Kelly squinted. "They're so tiny…I can't read my lines! Oh it's no good. My eyes hurt too much to read such tiny words. Owwwww…."

"Oh for crying out loud…" Althea groaned.

CUT! Okay here's what we are gonna do. Xavier take the script. You are gonna give Kelly his lines telepathically. Kelly just say whatever Xavier tells you to.

"This is my job?" Xavier grumbled as he took the script. "To be nothing more than a living cue card?"

"I don't want him in my head!" Kelly snapped.

"The feeling is mutual," Xavier gave him a look.

JUST DO IT! Okay, pick it up where we left off and action!

"Come on in," Althea tried again.

"Thank you," Kelly said. "Rogue told me where you were. I was going to telephone but the little green men stole it."

Xavier keep the ad-libbing down to a minimum will you?

"Why? Everyone else gets to do it?" Xavier called offstage.

"Okay," Althea was slightly thrown off. "Kelly do you want a drink?"

"Yes," Kelly said. "I love to drink. Drink, drink, drink a lot of rum. I love rum. Rum and vodka and margaritas. Wasted away again in Margaritaville…OKAY I KNOW THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!"

XAVIER KNOCK IT OFF!

"Just having a little fun," Xavier huffed.

Just keep going people…

"I wanted to see you," Kelly said. "Which is the biggest lie I have ever said."

XAVIER!

"No, actually that time it was me," Kelly told the author then went back into character. "What's Mystique up to Althea? You know, Rogue's mother?"

"I dunno, is she up to something?"

"She usually is," Kelly grumbled. "Trying one way or another to get more money out of Dukes. Or my bank account. I wanted to find out if you were sleuthing for her."

"I haven't been a detective for years," Althea told him. "My husband recently came into a ton of money and we've been living the high life off of it. He's got some pretty good business sense actually. You know it was his idea to invest in the Larry Welder books?"

"Wonderful," Kelly grimaced. "Just what the world needs. More rich mutants."

"What's all the fuss about? Is he in hiding?" Althea asked.

"You know as much as I do," Kelly threw up his hands. "I haven't seen him in months. Not a single word. Except when he needs money he sends a message through Jean Grey. I give it to her and she gives it to him."

"So that's still on huh?" Althea remarked. The phone rang and she picked it up. "It's for you, your office."

"Thanks," Kelly took it.

Todd wobbled in with the ice pack still on his head. "Ooh! I must still be drunk. I hear bells."

"That was the phone," Althea told him.

"What did you say?" Kelly spoke into the phone. "Where is he? Very well." He hung up.

"Back in town is he?" Althea asked.

"Yeah, forgive me but it's no joke working for a maniac like that. I must be off," Kelly went to the door. "Goodbye. So long. Farewell. Adviedizane Goodbye…THAT'S FROM THE SOUND OF MUSIC XAVIER!"

"See ya," Althea just went with it. "Merry Christmas!" She shut the door loudly.

"If anyone says 'Merry Christmas' once more," Todd winced in agony. "I'll kill 'em."

"I'm gonna call Rogue and let her know Dukes is in town," Althea went for the phone.

"Good idea," Todd went towards the tree. "I'll decorate…COYOTE! NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

"Tee hee.." Coyote sniffed the tree. "Too late…"

"Bad figment of Lance's imagination!" Todd scolded. "Bad figment of Lance's imagination! Great and we just got that rug cleaned!"

"Now I've got a headache," Xavier groaned offstage.

"Not to mention another bill," Althea said. "This re write is funded by your account. Like the first one."

"NOT AGAIN!" Xavier groaned.

Next up: Meet the rest of Rogue's oh so charming family.