Disclaimer: I do not own Skins, please don't rub it in. :-(

Author Note: I started a new job which is why this has taken me a while to get up, busy busy and all. Thank you to everyone who voted and for the reviews, I really appreciate all comments and feedback.

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Carry Me Away

Chapter Three: Look Into The Mirror

She'd made a mistake, a terrible mistake. It followed a long line of equally bad mistakes that stretched out almost four months. It all started when she thought things with Emily would bad fine but they weren't. She spent a week in bed, wallowing, feeling like her head was about to explode. By the time December was over and she returned to college after the holidays, she wasn't any happier or more ready to see Emily. Yet there she'd been; a perfect vision of red hair, a little duller than usual. Her eyes quite lifeless as she walked through the college corridors.

She was Emily, but she hadn't looked much like the girl she'd curled up in bed with. Seeing her reminded Naomi of the first mistake she'd made; sleeping with her. She hadn't really had boyfriends in high school. She'd kissed a couple and she'd fooled around with one of them, yet the moment they tried to sleep together he had become over excited and it never actually happened. Emily was her first. Her only. And that was where her mistake began to unravel her life like a ball of wool.

'You better now babe?' Cook called out to Emily by her locker, his stupid grin plastered on his face.

Naomi hadn't wanted to be there, to be stood a few lockers away wishing she could fall through a black hole. She hadn't seen Emily in almost six weeks yet somehow time didn't heal old wounds. So she made her next mistake. She went out that night, got so drunk she could barely stand up and had to rely on the kindness of a stranger. Fem. She was elusive, beautiful and obviously gay. She didn't know why she'd ended up at a gay club, but she had.

Another mistake had been agreeing to meet her again for a coffee. She didn't really want to go but there was something about her that left her feeling like she wanted more, so she went. They got along; they shared a love of politics, of saving the world one protest at a time and it was easy to forget that Emily ever existed.

Her biggest mistake after Emily, was kissing Fem. She didn't even seem interested at first, they were just two friends having a good time. But Naomi had a bad day. She'd spent three hours in a double lesson for history to work on coursework, three hours with only a couple of short fag breaks, three hours with Emily sat behind her, her eyes burning holes in the back of her head. So when she saw Fem she'd needed more than a political conversation, she'd needed something to take her mind off life. Fem was always smoking spliffs and for once Naomi accepted the offer, sucked in the drug until she actually felt sick and threw herself at the girl. Thankfully she responded and before she knew it, their hands were up each others tops, fooling around. It would have gone further had Naomi not stopped it, sobering up considerably when Fem's hand slid into the waistband of her skirt, disappearing into her underwear.

'Stop,' Naomi called out, grabbing her wrist. 'I'm sorry, I can't, not right now.'

It hadn't mattered, she'd said. It was okay to take your time and go slow and Fem was fantastic at going slow, she was undoubtedly the best kisser Naomi had ever come across both male and female and even though she longed to feel Emily's lips pressing against her own, it was a fair replacement.

Naomi's latest mistake, actually sleeping with Fem, was one she couldn't take back. She was officially not straight, whatever that meant. She'd spent a while denying to herself the truth. After Emily, she told herself it was a moment of insanity, a brief blip in the time-space continuum. But with Fem, it was obviously not a blip, it was a pattern. Two girls she'd kissed, two girls she'd had sex with. But being with Fem didn't stop the continual ache in Naomi's chest, an ache that stopped her normal life continuing, a shoddy shadow of the previous, existing instead. She sat at her desk, brushing her hair, trying to do something different, but there wasn't a lot she could think of. It was morning, college was about to start again for another week and no matter how hard she tried to forget that fact, she couldn't.

'Morning love, do you want some pancakes?' Gina offered with a half-smile when Naomi entered the kitchen.

'No I don't,' Naomi snapped. 'You can't make the world better by making pancakes mum, I'm not fucking five.'

The harsh tone was regrettable and when Gina's eyes filled with tears, Naomi actually felt bad. She just couldn't find the words to apologise, to take it back. She willed herself to walk over to her, wrap her arms around her back and pretend she was five again. At five she'd been a moody cow, nothing really changed there, but she was also painfully shy and school had been difficult. Every morning Gina would wake up early just to make pancakes in the hope of cheering her up enough to send her off to school. It worked, for the most part. Pancakes were her comfort food. But lately nothing comforted her.

'Just cos you're fucking depressed, doesn't mean I am,' Naomi snarled, before rushing back out of the kitchen with a banana in hand.

Naomi hadn't seen Katie since 'the incident', she wasn't sure what to say or do to make things better. She was her best friend, but admittedly, she hadn't actually allowed her to be a friend. Naomi had stayed away, tried her best not to remember that Katie was in fact Emily's identical twin sister. She couldn't explain that to Katie though, not then. She didn't even think she'd be able to do it now. She walked through college, hovering by Katie's history lesson in the hope of seeing her. When she did, it was awkward. Katie looked at her, her eyes narrowing with a mixture of confusion and an emotion that Naomi couldn't quite make out. It hurt, to see her so unfriendly and disconnected from their relationship.

Lunchtime wasn't much better. Emily beat her to group table, she just sat down opposite Effy and they started talking to her like they were best friends. Maybe they were best friends. Naomi didn't know, she hadn't sat with the group for a long while. She hadn't sat with anyone. In fact she usually just grabbed a sandwich and chain-smoked for the whole lunch hour. It wasn't that she wanted to be alone. She just didn't have any other friends. Once in a while Cook would smoke with her and they'd talk about something stupid and shallow before going about their day again. It took a few weeks for Naomi to realise that she was alone. It wasn't the first time, she was known as a loner, she'd hoped it would be different in college. But things hadn't really changed, she hadn't grown enough to make friends, which left her pushed out of the group she had been in, alone once more.

*

Emily had been to the gym before, not really to work out, just to sit in Rob's office or meet him after work. It was a nice place to be, the people were always very friendly and though working out wasn't Emily's favourite thing, she didn't mind a private session in the pool once it closed.

'Sorry I'm late,' Katie called out, giving Rob a quick hug and glancing at Emily with uncertainty.

'That's alright love,' Rob grinned. 'You go get changed, we'll see you in a minute.'

The look on Rob's face made Emily roll her eyes. She hadn't even done anything and already he was judging her actions. She picked up a magazine and started flicking through it.

'You'll be nice to her, won't you Ems?'

'If she's nice to me,' Emily whispered, throwing the old issue back onto the table.

'She's your sister, it's time the two of you started realising that neither of you is going anywhere.'

Emily was about to speak, to defend herself when Katie emerged in her workout gear. They shared a brief, awkward stare before Katie pushed a smile onto her face and they followed Rob to the gym floor.

'Come on Em, keep up,' Rob called, cycling along at a steady pace.

'I'm doing, the best, I can,' she panted, her heart rate speeding with the exertion of exercise.

'This is well fun,' Katie grinned.

The level of exercise was too much for Emily; she kept going, pushing herself further and further in the hope of keeping up. She didn't want Katie to win, didn't want her to still be okay even though she was. Eventually Emily's legs gave out, having pushed herself a little too far. She rested her arms and head on the handles of the bike machine, gasping for breath.

'You okay love?' Rob grinned, still cycling along at a steady pace.

'Fine,' Emily moaned, resting for a minute before climbing off the bike and drinking half of her bottle of water.

She spent the next half an hour sat on the floor, wishing she hadn't pushed herself so far just to keep up. She wasn't athletic, she'd always known that. Even Rob knew that and he tried his best regularly to get her to the gym.

'That was fantastic,' Rob grinned, climbing off his bike and wiping the sweat from his face. 'I need to check that Billy's still here, you girls'll be alright for a minute, won't you?'

They nodded as he waked out of the room. Emily took another sip of her water, keeping one eye on Katie as she opened her own.

'Why do you have to be so good at everything?' Emily snarled, regretting her harsh tone instantly. She didn't want to be horrible, she just couldn't seem to hold her tongue whenever Katie was around.

'Why do you always have to be such a bitch?' Katie snapped back, sitting down beside her.

'I'm not a bitch,' Emily told her, her emotions pushing tears to the surface. She shot them down, squeezing the plastic bottle in her hands to stop her rage taking over.

Katie rolled her eyes and leant back against the wall. 'I don't really understand you.'

'You don't need to,' Emily muttered.

'We share a dad, we're going to be spending time together,' Katie reminded her. 'I think I do need to understand you and you need to understand me.'

She was right. Emily couldn't deny that, even though she searched for something that would let her. Eventually she gave up, turning to Katie with a slightly impatient look on her face.

'What don't you understand?'

'Why you're so mean for one? Then there's the gay thing.'

A number of different emotions hit Emily all at once. She could feel her chest constricting, her body growing weak. She didn't want to feel that way, but she silently thanked her medication for helping her to control things better. It still hurt, a deep seeded sea of emotions that she knew had less to do with Katie and more to do with what happened in school.

'The gay thing?' Emily whispered, picking at a loose thread on her t-shirt. 'You make it sound like a disease.'

The silence that followed was more awkward than Emily had ever thought it could be. A moment of painful silence that broke through any sign of truce that may or may not have been coming with Katie.

Katie bit her lip, placing her bottle on the floor between them, which made Emily look up. 'I've never met anyone who's gay before.'

It explained a lot. Emily looked at her, let her eyes meet her sister's, brown on brown. They'd never looked at each other before, not really, not properly. She couldn't help notice the guarded look in Katie's eyes; the worry, the concern. Emily frowned. Something was changing between them and even though she tried to stop it, it just took over.

'So you think I'm some stupid fucking weird dyke or something?' Emily asked, knowing it wouldn't help.

Katie shook her head, looked away. 'Every time we seem to get anywhere, you come out with a stupid comment like that.'

'It's right though, isn't it?' Emily asked.

'No,' Katie replied. 'But what's right is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.'

Before Emily could respond, Rob returned with a handful of energy bars. Emily took one gratefully, eating it ravenously in the hope she could stop herself from saying all of the things that came to mind.

*

Uncle Keith's pub was too noisy, smelt like someone had been sick and seemed to be the average local elderly man's retreat for the evening. Naomi slid into a seat beside Cook, gritted her teeth when he commented on the height of her top and suggested lowering it.

'Fuck off and buy me a drink,' she ordered, removing the bag from her shoulder and passing a smile greeting across the table to Effy, Freddie and JJ.

'Keith,' Cook shouted across the room. 'Can I get another pint, one, two, three, four, five, fifteen shots and a whisky when you've got a minute.'

'Alright kid, as long as you've got a bit of the, you know,' he replied, rubbing his fingers together.

'Don't you worry about that Keithy, just bring us the drinks and we'll settle the tab.'

'Do you even have any money Cook?' Freddie asked, with scepticism.

'Nah, but don't you worry your pretty little head about things Freds, we'll be a'right.'

Naomi rolled her eyes, wondered why she'd even bothered joining the group on a rare occasion that Emily wasn't there. She watched with mild amusement as all three boys stared at Effy, leering towards her like puppy dogs, their tongues hanging out and their glares obvious. Effy seemed to be aloof, barely noticing the way they all stared. Yet knowing Effy, Naomi assumed she knew all to well the affect she was having on their male friends.

After becoming comfortably drunk, Naomi went into the toilets, found them it disgusting to even stand in them, let alone pee and disappeared into the beer garden for a cigarette.

'Fucks sake,' she groaned when Effy, Cook and Freddie emerged with a couple of spliffs, wished for just a few moments in peace.

'And then I says to her, what the fuck are you looking at me like that for? I ain't gonna shag you.'

'That's horrible Cook,' Freddie laughed and though Naomi didn't have a clue what they were talking about, she realised that she didn't actually care.

'Where's JJ?' she asked, biting her lip and accepting a drag of the spliff that Effy handed over.

'Inside,' Freddie replied. 'More old codgers turned up, didn't want them nicking our table.'

Naomi muttered something to them, not even sure what she was saying herself as she walked across to the side entrance. She pulled out her phone, pushing it against her ear after dialling Fem's number. She liked her, she did. In a weird sort of way. They were similar, their interests made them similar and Naomi had always been grateful to her for that. She waited patiently, grinding her teeth so hard that her jaw started to ache.

'Pick up your fucking phone,' she shouted, glancing warily at the group, thankful that none of them seemed to notice her frustration. 'Look, I'm fucking sorry alright, but how can I apologise if you won't answer my calls? I didn't mean to hurt you, if I did. I just, things with Emily, they're fucked up alright. I like you and I don't even fucking tell people that usually. I have had a bit to drink and shit so maybe it's loosened me up or something, but for fucks sake Fem, just call me or something.'

When Naomi was done, she returned to the group, or what was left of it. She tucked her lip under her tooth and hesitated in front of Effy, the brunette staring back at her with saucer eyes and a smouldering stare. She was quickly reminded of Emily, of her obsession with Effy in the first few weeks of college and how much Naomi hadn't understood it. But she was stunning, Naomi noted. She had an 'I don't give a shit' look about her, yet still managed to look like she was ready for a party, even if she'd just thrown on the nearest item of clothing. Naomi cursed herself, bit her lip a little too hard to push the thoughts from her head. She didn't like Effy like that, she didn't like Emily like that, not after what had happened and even though she'd said quite the opposite, she was pretty sure she didn't like Fem like that either.

'What you staring at?' she moaned.

'Nothing,' Effy smiled, placing a cigarette into her mouth and puffing out the smoke.

'You're staring.'

'I was looking,' Effy replied.

'Well can you fucking look someplace else?'

Effy just raised her eyebrows, not removing her gaze from Naomi for a second.

'Fuck off Effy.'

'Was that your girlfriend on the phone?' Effy asked, making Naomi's knees shake.

Nobody knew about her and Emily, except Katie. She doubted she'd tell the world. But she wasn't even talking about Emily.

'I'm not fucking gay,' she snapped, wondering what the sex with Emily and Fem meant, if she didn't at least like girls.

'Sure,' Effy smiled, accepting her answer, though they both knew that Effy didn't mean it.

'Which one do you like best?' Naomi asked, looking towards the door in the hope of distracting the conversation from herself.

Effy shrugged. 'They all like me, they're all friends. Cook's the only one who's got anywhere.'

*

'I'm sick of this,' Katie snapped, unable to hold back her frustration any longer. Emily had been anything but nice to her for too long, she wasn't getting any better and Katie wasn't going to stand by and put up with it.

'Of what?' Emily asked.

'Of you being a complete bitch to me. What did I do? What have I done that is bad enough for you to treat me the way you have been doing?'

'Fuck off Katie.'

'No, I won't. I don't care if you don't like that I exist or that I'm taking up time with our dad. I'm not going anywhere, so it's time you just accepted it and moved on.'

'You think it's that simple?' Emily asked. 'How would you feel if some stranger came into your life and started spending time with your mum?'

Katie rolled her eyes. 'Are you stupid? I'm in the exact same position as you. Except that dad is able to enjoy the company of both his daughters, whereas mum is sat at home twiddling her thumbs every time I go out with dad.'

'You think I care?'

'God, Emily, I might have pegged you for a lot of things, but I didn't peg you as selfish.'

'I'm not selfish.'

'Except that you are. Mum wants to spend time with you, she wants to get to know you. But you don't care, you don't care if she's happy or if she's depressed, do you?'

'Why should I?'

'She's your mum!'

'No she isn't,' Emily snapped. 'My mum wouldn't leave me when I'm sick in hospital, wouldn't just disappear without a word when I'm a fucking baby.'

'You know why that happened.'

'Yeah, cos she's selfish. Are you forgetting that she left you too?'

She'd tried to forget about that, didn't want to remember that her mother had abandoned her for a year of her life. It was too much to bare, too big a thought that it hurt to even give it the time of day.

'You're such a fucking cow,' Katie retaliated, couldn't stop the swearing coming from her mouth because it was too painful to contemplate what Emily was saying. She picked up her bag, slung it over her shoulder as she marched out of the changing room.

Katie's vision turned black, her face colliding with smelly material that seemed to find its way into her mouth. She coughed, stepping backwards until she could see into the eyes of a tall, perfectly formed young man. Katie's knees gave way, weakness taking over her body until the man's hands wrapped around her waist, his fingers pressing against the skin on her hips.

'Sorry,' he smiled, his grin gleaming, huge and full.

'Oh, I,' Katie stuttered, her eyes locking with his green ones. She stared into them, losing herself in his warm expression.

'I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going.'

'It's, okay,' Katie replied.

The hazy fog lingering in her brain stopped her thoughts from working, pushed her anger away, sent all things flying out of her mind until she found herself gasping for breath.

'Are you okay?' he checked, his voice deeper than she'd realised, a thick Scottish accent taking moments to process.

'Yeah, yeah,' Katie whispered, taking further steps backwards, wondering why she hadn't noticed his hands still wrapped around her sides.

'Aren't you Rob's daughter?' he asked, his brow furrowing slightly. 'Emily, isn't it?'

Katie looked away, turning her gaze downwards to avoid his eyes. 'No, his other daughter, Katie.'

The guy responded, talking about Rob, about working there at a gym. Katie couldn't understand what he was saying, didn't allow herself to process his words as her eyes lingered on the area of his sweatpants that she knew she shouldn't look at. She shook her head, thoughts of JJ flooding her mind until she found her eyes closing, guilt setting in.

'I, I have to,' she mumbled, turning around, her foot catching on the bag beside them causing her to stumble against the floor.

*

She didn't even know why she'd left the house that night. Naomi continued to sit in the beer garden long after Effy had returned to the pub. It was cold and there was a little bit of rain lingering in the air, but it didn't matter. She just wanted to be alone. The mobile phone turned over in her hand as she awaited impatiently for a call she knew probably wouldn't arrive.

'Thought you'd left,' Cook announced after he appeared beside her, perching on the edge of the picnic table.

'No.'

'If you just wanted to be alone, why didn't you say so?' Cook leered. 'Bit cold out here for a willy-waggle, but I won't say no to you Blondie.'

Naomi bit her lip, tucked up carefully under her tooth, processing what he'd just said. She wasn't gay; Emily and Fem were just accidents, things that happened because she was fucked up in the head. But that didn't mean she wanted to sleep with Cook.

'Fuck off,' she called.

'I ain't going nowhere, run out of fags and I know you've always got a packet.'

Throwing the half empty packet at Cook, Naomi lifted her legs up onto the seat, she didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be anywhere. She was so sick of life, of everything in it and Cook's presence wasn't making it any easier.

'For fucks sake,' she called out, closing her eyes as she contemplated her recent relationship woes.

Emily was still the bane of her existence, a blotch of red wine on a cream carpet, a grey hair on an otherwise dark haired head. Naomi let out a breath, wondered why she even cared that Fem hadn't called her back. What did it matter anyway? She wasn't willing to go back there, wasn't willing to jump into bed with another girl again. It just hurt too much, it hurt all the time to even think about Emily, let alone her feelings for Fem.

'I'm always here Naomikins,' Cook shrugged, taking a cigarette from the packet.

She didn't know why she did it, didn't know why she turned around, pressing her hands around Cook's neck until their tongues played together in their mouths. She helped move him up until he was seated beside her, his fingers slipping quickly into the waistline of her skirt before she could tell him not to. It was rough and careless. They moved around until Naomi was lay on the table, her back cold against the damp surface. Cook's hands slid into the front of her skirt, reaching into her underwear before she could process the action.

'No,' she gasped, memories flooding back of Emily's fingers tracing over the same place.

'It's alright babe, don't you worry.'

But she did worry. Her mind faltered, stopping on Emily's face, on Emily's touch. She couldn't breath, the feel of Cook's fingers on her skin making tears slide down her cheeks until she began to sob. Cook's hand moved away, his body weight shifting as he stood up.

'You're not,' she gasped, wiping her eyes, forcing control over her emotions. 'I can't, I love someone and it's not, it's not right. I don't fucking do love or liking and I just don't know, I just don't know.'

'It's okay babe,' Cook assured her, resting a hand on her shoulder, his other grabbing at his crotch. 'Bit excited but sure I can find some other bird to spank my monkey.'

Naomi snorted, tried her best to stop the tears from forcing their way back to the surface. She straightened out her clothes, thanking Cook repeatedly.

'Don't worry about it, yeah? It's fucked up love, ain't it? If I was you, I wouldn't bother, you only gonna get hurt.'

Naomi tucked her lip under her tooth, pressing down harder than she wanted. 'I guess.'

Eventually he left her alone. Her thoughts consuming her energy as she perched against the table. Alone. It was what she'd wanted, to be alone, to have only her own company. It was what she always thought she needed. But if she was honest, alone was the last thing she wanted. The alcohol was still buzzing in her system, effecting her clear thinking. The phone in her hands was too tempting, she pushed down on the buttons, scrolling through her contacts until she pressed call.

'Not gonna pick up your phone you fucking coward?' she snapped. 'You fucking broke my heart, do you understand that? I don't fucking love anyone, but you broke my heart and now you're acting like life is wonderful for you and you've moved on. Well it's not so fucking easy for me. You fucked with my mind, Emily, I don't even fucking want to see you again.'

*

Impatience was Emily's middle name. She spent a week pacing the house until her seventh birthday party. At thirteen, she tapped her foot so much over the space of one weekend that she was sure her ankle hurt. She hated waiting, hated having to sit somewhere without anything of interest to occupy her time with. She reached for her mobile, noticed the missed call and voicemail, which she quickly listened to. A number of tears crept into her eyes.

'You fucked with my mind, Emily, I don't even fucking want to see you again.'

She gasped, choking on tears as she processed Naomi's words. They were slurred slightly, alerting Emily to the possibility that she was drunk. The whole situation was messed up. She hadn't wanted it to be this way, hadn't wanted Naomi to move on and end up such a mess. There wasn't much she could do about it. Things had changed, Naomi didn't want to see her again and even though it had been Emily's choice to let go of their budding relationship, it still hurt to know that Naomi had finally given up.

'Emily,' a voice whispered with concern.

Her chocolate brown eyes looked upwards, connected with a pair that were too similar to her own. Emily could feel her rage building, the mother that had abandoned her, stood right in front of her, looking like she actually gave a damn.

'Fuck off,' she muttered, wiping her tearstained eyes.

'I'm here to pick up Katie, where is she?' Jenna asked, cautiously. The pain etched into Emily's face saddened her, pushed her to want to act. But Emily didn't want that, didn't seem to want her help. Instead she sat down, silently beside her.

'In the office,' was all Emily could say, turning her attention to the material on her trousers, which she pressed her hands down upon, straightening out the material almost obsessively.

Rob and Katie appeared moments later, Rob's arm wrapped around her waist to support her as she hobbled towards them. Jenna stood up, voicing her concern until Rob assured her that everything was okay.

'Just a slight sprain,' Rob smiled. He hadn't seen Jenna in months, not properly. He allowed his eyes to linger over hers for a moment longer than acceptable. A lot had changed since she came back into his life, he'd found a way to accept her existence, learn to co-operate for the sake of their children.

'We'd best go Katie love,' Jenna smiled, taking her bag from Rob and wrapping her arm around Katie's waist. 'I thought we'd go out for some pizza, you can have your favourite.'

'You're getting some tea?' Rob asked, barely waiting for Jenna's nod. 'Maybe me and Ems could join you, we've not eaten yet either. That'll be alright, won't it Emily?'

The plastic chair wasn't flexible enough for Emily's fingers to dig into it, she held on tightly anyway, feeling pent up frustration lingering. She wasn't okay with it. She didn't want to spend a moment longer with Jenna or Katie or even her dad. She was falling apart inside, her heart breaking from the pain of Naomi moving on, from the pain of Naomi not wanting anything to do with her. But she couldn't speak, just nodded with a slight smile as though it was the only thing she wanted to do.

'Champion,' Rob grinned, walking away. 'I'll just lock my office.'

The pizza restaurant wasn't very busy. Emily sat beside her dad, staring down at the food in front of her. She wasn't very hungry, wasn't very interested in eating anything. She'd reluctantly ordered even though her mind was telling her to go, to tell Rob that she didn't want to be there.

'So, Emily, how are you enjoying college?' Jenna asked, her voice so relaxed and normal, like they were updating each other on their lives and not having their first proper conversation in Emily's entire life.

She didn't reply. Eventually the conversation moved on and Emily was forced to nibble at her food when Rob noted her lack of eating. Another questions got passed her way, but her gaze continued to linger over the cheese and tomato pizza.

'I forgot to ask how things went with Naomi,' Jenna muttered.

Emily's head shot up, watching Jenna look to Katie for a response. She felt her heart start to thump faster, her chest constricting movement. The happy, family moment wasn't real, it wasn't right. She couldn't sit there and listen to the conversation, listen to them talk about Naomi. The voicemail repeated itself in her brain, making her shake with anxiety.

'Where are my…?' Emily gasped, searching her trousers, cursing the lack of pockets. 'My pills, I need my pills.'

It wasn't time for another dose, but Emily didn't think another one would hurt. She needed something, needed anything to help her feel like maybe she was in control. She looked to Rob, her eyes wild with fear and dread.

'It's okay Emily, they're in the car, you left them in the car.'

'Can we go?' Emily asked, her hands shaking, her eyes digging deeply into Rob's until he couldn't say anything but yes.

'Sorry about this,' he whispered, dropping a couple of notes in front of Jenna. 'I'll see you soon Katie.'

The fresh air cooled Emily's heated face, making her shiver further. She stopped by the car door, resting her hands against it as sobs escaped her. Rob's hands wrapped around her waist, pulled her tightly into his arms as she pushed her face into the material of his shirt.

'It's okay Ems, I'm sorry, it was too much too soon. I should have thought, I'm sorry.'

She couldn't speak, could only cry. It was only half the story, the half that her dad knew. She didn't want to tell him the truth, couldn't find the words to explain the pain she was in. Instead she wrapped herself tighter around him, sobbing until she couldn't cry any more.

*

The house was silent when Naomi arrived home. The only sound were a number of small sobs still escaping her lips. She walked through to the kitchen, hoping to find her mother with a pot of tea, but she wasn't there. She knocked lightly on her bedroom door, waited for a response, before pushing it open.

'Mum,' she cried, choking on the tears that increased suddenly.

'Yes Naomi?' Gina asked, not looking up from her book. 'I'm hoping to grow some vegetables this summer so be quick, I'm only on chapter one.'

Naomi's fingers tightened around the door handle. The sobs increased, noisily travelling across the room. But Gina didn't glance up. Naomi waited patiently, hoping Gina would take note of her pain.

'Mum,' she tried again. 'I'm sorry, I don't know how to, I don't how, to deal with this, what's in my head.'

The words felt poisonous on her tongue, betraying her icy exterior of late. She stared at Gina, begging her silently to look up from her book, to open her arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Gina didn't look up. 'You're obviously old enough now to handle everything on your own, maybe you should go and work it all out in your room.'

With shaking knees, Naomi reached for the door, trying to hold herself up. Gina's words stung, metaphorically slapped her across the face until she was left stunned. She stared at her mother, watched her blasé actions; closing the book, turning off the bedside light and tucking herself underneath the covers.

'But mum,' Naomi sobbed, her heart breaking as she finally found herself ready to talk, ready to share her feelings and let her mother be just that.

'Night love,' Gina replied, as though she wasn't about to collapse in tears in the doorway.

Naomi turned around, stumbled through the darkened house, her hands flat against the walls in the hope of being a support for her weakened body. The second she reached the kitchen, she collapsed into a chair, her body warn out from the resistance of pain. She couldn't deny it any more. She couldn't argue with her mother, because she was right. Naomi had pushed too hard; pushed her away, pushed Emily away, even pushed Katie away. She'd hit the bottom, hit it with the biggest bump and it hurt like hell. She didn't think she'd ever reach it, but once she finally did, it became easier to see that climbing back up was a challenge, but it wasn't entirely impossible.

Chapter One Voting Options:

Naomily 1: Naomi and Emily find themselves pushed together in college.

Naomily 2: Naomi's attempts to repair her life, aren't necessarily embraced by Emily.

Katie 1: Katie finds herself looking at JJ differently, which causes her to rethink her feelings.

Katie 2: Katie and JJ get into a fight and Katie finds herself comforted by a new friend.

TO HAVE YOUR SAY, REVIEW WITH YOUR CHOICES!