Life of the Christmas Party
I told you already that most of the characters aren't mine. Well here are two more. Craig (aka Darkstar) and Paul (aka Starchild) are from L1701E's version of the Misfits. Check out those fics of his. They're good!
Christmas Eve. It was a time of giving and joy. It was also time for the wildest party at Todd and Althea's apartment. People were singing, dancing, drinking, crying, drinking some more and having a great time. Althea and Todd were wearing their best evening clothes (Althea a glittering blue evening gown and Todd a snazzy tuxedo.)
"How's it going Warren?" Althea handed a drink to the tuxedo clad Warren.
"Not bad, you know how hard it is to get a tux with holes for wings?" Warren indicated. "By the way who are all these people?"
"Oh just a few friends of mine," Althea remarked. In the room were Sam, Ray, Roberto, Peter, Jamie, Madelyne, Spyder, Xi, Angelica, Lina, Dead Girl, Rahne, Low Light, Cover Girl, Roadblock, Spirit and several other GI Joes. As well as Dracula and his wife Cindy, Dr. Strange, Calliban, Callisto, Harvey Laffruff, Apocalypse, Mastermind, Benny Barumpump, Amanda Sefton, Azazel and his sons Benos, Stephan and Maxx.
Althea moved on when she was accosted by a very drunk Belladonna. "Al yer great! And Toad's great too…" She hiccupped. "WHEEEE!"
"Thanks, I wanted you to see him," Althea quipped as she staggered away. "And I wanted him to see you too. Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your glasses!"
"Just like old times, eh Althea?" Police Officer Xi said as she gave him a drink. "Remember the old days?"
"Don't kid yourself," Althea gave him a look as she went on to serve more drinks. "These are the good old days."
The doorbell rang and Todd answered it. It was a scraggly cook named BA LaCarr. "Is Al here?" BA asked.
"She is," Todd nodded.
"Great kid, sent me up the river once!" BA beamed proudly. "HEY AL LONG TIME NO SEE!"
"Man and I thought I knew some weird people," Todd shook his head. The doorbell rang and he answered it.
"Hi! Don't mind us!" Starchild grinned as he walked in with his purple star mark on his face and gleaming hair. "We're just a couple of reporters!"
"Okay…" Todd blinked. Then he saw more people coming in.
"We heard there was a party," Nick Fury said as he walked in.
"So we decided to crash it!" Pyro said cheerfully. "Come on guys!"
In walked in Captain America, Carol Danvers, Daredevil, Thor, Falcon, Iron Man, Spider Man, The Fantastic Four, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Selene, Juggernaut, Amadeus, The Leader, Gargoyle, the Runaways including their dinosaur Old Lace and She Hulk.
"Being evil takes so much out of a person," Lucas huffed as he walked in. He changed into Cyndi. "Where's the mistletoe?"
"Dracula! Time for vengeance!" Blade the Vampire strode in. "But first I'll have some eggnog!"
"Why the hell not?" Cable walked in with Bishop.
"Hey where's the gun check room?" Deadpool waked in after them.
"All right! Let me at the food!" S'ym said as he walked in with Ilyana.
"Why am I even here?" Emma Frost walked in. "Tell me why?"
"Search me, we're not even in her stories yet," A blue haired Japanese girl with metal gauntlet gloves walked in with a metal silver girl, A giant gray rock guy and a golden boy.
"All right where is that sailor?" Howard the Duck burst in looking for a fight. "I want a rematch!"
"Holiday Cookies, from Doctor Doom!" He strode in and gave a box to Todd.
Todd looked directly at the creator of all this insanity. "Don't bother with continuity Red, just send whoever you want into this fic! What? No Serpentor in drag? I'm amazed the Cobras aren't here!"
"Sorry we're late," Cobra Commander grumbled right on cue as he and the rest of the Cobra Gang appeared. "But somebody had to change outfits six or seven times before we got here!"
"I had trouble finding the right shoes for this outfit!" Serpentor II snapped as he strode in wearing a gold gown. "Sue me!"
CRASH!
"DIE DRACULA!" Blade started to chase his nemesis around.
"Can't you take a break like everyone else?" Dracula snapped.
"Old Lace! Don't eat the tree!" Arsenic shouted. "Bad Dinosaur!"
"Well at least Xavier's footing the bill for this party," Todd shrugged.
"WHAT?" Xavier shouted off camera.
Meanwhile Althea was talking with Jamie the boxing manager and his newest rising star, Colossus. "Wanna piece of this guy, Al? Best fighter I've seen in years! I'll sell you twenty percent for five grand!"
"He's that good?" Althea asked.
"Good? He's been knocking 'em left and right! He ain't scared of nobody!" Jamie said proudly. Then he saw Peter reaching out for a drink. He slapped his hand and glared at him. "Drop that or I'll slug you!"
Peter meekly backed off. "Maybe some other time," Althea grinned as she moved on.
"I love this place!" Pyro grinned as he set a potted plant on fire. "Everything is so flammable!"
"Hey Captain America! Show everyone you shield trick!" Fury shouted.
ZOOMM!
"DUCK!" Tony Stark shouted as the shield flew around out of control. It hit several Cobras and knocked out Blade just before he was able to stab Dracula.
"Well that was a freebie," Dracula blinked.
"THIS IS HER IDEA OF LETTING US BE IN A FIC?" Darkstar shouted. "Next time we gotta tell L1701E not to give her any ideas!"
"At least we're in a cool party scene," Starchild shrugged. "Duck!" They barely missed the shield. "There goes another wall."
It finally banged on the back of Destro's head. "OW!"
The radio was turned onto the news and Xavier's voice could be heard. "Here is the latest news of the Jean Grey Murder. The police have found out that the redhead was once a gangster's girl. They are now looking for Duncan Matthews the alleged gangster. Fred Dukes, Grey's employer and rumored boyfriend is still missing."
"Shut that off," Althea shut off the radio. "Can't you guys ever forget business?"
"That's just what I said!" Dracula called out. "Hey anybody wanna decorate the vampire hunter here?"
"It'd be a good case for you Al," Xi pointed out.
"Haven't you heard the news? I'm a society lady now," Althea told them. "Well maybe not the lady part. Oh goody. Reporters."
"Well you said let anyone who wanted to come to the party to come in," Todd told her as the two reporter brothers followed him.
"We're from the Fanfiction Times," Starchild told her. "We wanted to know if you'll give us a statement. We heard you were here to work on the Jean Grey case…"
"Sorry," Althea apologized. "Don't know anything about it."
"Come on give us a break!" Darkstar grumbled.
"I never kid reporters outside of April Fool's Day," Althea reached for a drink. "I'm telling the truth."
"Then why are you in town?" Darkstar asked.
"Well to tell you the truth," Althea leaned in so that only the reporter could hear her. "My husband's on a bender and I'm trying to sober him up!" She finished the drink with one gulp.
"Ha ha," Todd had heard her. He gave her another drink. "We need more ice so you might as well have this one."
"Why Grandma what small glasses you have!" Althea beamed and walked away.
Darkstar grabbed Todd's arm before he could leave too. "Seriously, what's she really doing here? Is she working on a case?"
"Yes," Todd told him. "A case of Scotch. Pitch in and help fellas." He left them to follow his wife into the kitchen and to help her prepare more drinks and food. "I'd better order more food."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"PYRO!" Angelica shouted.
"Not to mention more bandages," Todd blinked. "And a few extra fire extinguishers couldn't hurt. Say that Jean Grey murder sounds like an interesting case. Why don't you take it?"
"I haven't the time," Althea told him. "I'm too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for."
"It sounds like a good case," Todd went on. "Girl mysteriously murdered. No one knows who did it. They haven't found any clues yet. No gun, no fingerprints."
"I wonder if they're…" Althea began and then realized that they were both getting interested. "I don't wanna hear anything more about it! Hey is that my drink?"
"What were you drinking?" Todd held a martini in his hand.
"A martini."
Todd took the glass and downed it. "Yup, that's yours."
Althea made a face at him and went out with another tray of drinks. She was stopped by a crying Mastermind. "I wanna telephone my mother. Wish her a Merry Christmas but it's long distance and all my extra minutes are taken up!"
"Never mind, help yourself," Althea indicated her phone.
"Thank you!" He picked up the phone. "Hello Operator! Get me London England!"
The doorbell rang again after Althea distributed more drinks. She answered it and found Rogue at the door. "Come in."
That was when the two reporters saw her and realized they could get more from this party than a hangover and a concussion. "Hey! It's Rogue!" Darkstar shouted. "How about a statement?"
"How about not?" Althea pushed Rogue to the bedroom and locked the door. "Let's have some privacy shall we? Okay what's going on?"
"It's about Jean…" Rogue said. "I…I did it." She pulled out a gun and showed it to Althea.
"Really?" Althea raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah I hated her for what she did to Fred and I shot her because she wouldn't tell me where she was," Rogue said.
"Where did you shoot her?" Althea asked.
"In the heart," Rogue answered.
"Before or after you punched her in the face?"
"Before obviously."
"Did she fall towards or away from you?"
"Away I guess," Rogue shrugged.
"Rogue stop lying," Althea said. "She was shot in the back so that means she fell away from the shot. She wasn't punched in the face either. I got sources on the police force so I know what happened to her. So where did you really get the gun?"
"A pawnshop," Rogue admitted. "That's the truth. I'm sorry."
Todd was able to get into the room using his key and held a drink in his other hand. "Forget about it. Have a drink."
"No thanks," Rogue shook her head.
"I'll take it," Althea offered.
"You already took mine," Todd looked at her. "Where did the gun come from?"
"The Gun Fairy left it. Keep an eye on her will ya?" Althea took out a handkerchief and picked up the gun and stuffed it in the top drawer. "And don't let those reporters get to her. They might believe her!"
Althea left the room and was immediately accosted by the reporters. "What's Rogue doing here? Is she a client?" Starchild asked.
"And you said you weren't on the case," Darkstar huffed.
"I'm not. She just showed up to the party," Althea defended. "I don't know anything about it. I don't care anything about it. All I want is a drink."
Of course neither reporter believed her and rushed to the nearest phone, which happened to be where Mastermind was calling from. "Yes Mama, I'm wearing clean underwear. Yes Mama…"
Darkstar snatched the phone from him. "Listen Ma, he'll call you right back! Get off the freaking line!" He hung up then called his newspaper. "Hey Chief I got a scoop! You'll never guess where we ran into Rogue Darkholme Dukes…"
"Don't do that!" Althea snapped as she went to get the door again. "Don't tell your paper I'm working on anything because I'm not! It's a coincidence! I have nothing to do with this case whatsoever!"
She opened the door and found Mystique and Pietro standing there. "I want to talk to you!" Mystique said.
"Oh this has got to be good," Starchild grinned.
"Oh great," Althea groaned. "Come with me!" She dragged Mystique into the next room with a lock which happened to be the bathroom. "Sorry. Only place where we can be alone. Take a seat." She pointed to the toilet.
"I think I'll stand, thank you," Mystique gave her a look. "Look I'll get to the point. Fred Dukes has gone crazy. Absolutely crazy to stay away at a time like this. I have something very important to tell him and Kelly's no help at all. He thinks all I want is money!"
"Well don't you?" Althea gave her a look.
"Very funny. Look you'll help me find him won't you?" Mystique asked.
"There are thousands of detectives in New York," Althea told her. "Pick one of them."
"But Fred knows you," Mystique said. "All you have to do is get in touch with him and tell him that everything is all right but I have to see him."
"No I don't," Althea told her. "I don't want any part of this madness! I've got enough madness in my life to deal with. If you'd ever met my family you'd understand. Now take Rogue home and…"
"WHAT?" Mystique yelled. "Rogue's here? Where?"
"In there," Althea pointed to the connecting door to the bedroom. "You didn't…?"
Mystique didn't stop to listen as she burst into the bedroom. "WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM? WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?" She shouted as she slapped Rogue.
Unfortunately for her, Rogue wasn't wearing her power dampener so Mystique fell to the floor unconscious. "Man I hate having her thoughts in my head!" Rogue snapped.
"She didn't tell us anything," Althea said to the unconscious Mystique. "Not that you're paying attention to me. Look Rogue if you want to stay here tonight…"
"Nah, somebody's got to take her home. Pietro could never…" Rogue sighed.
"PIETRO!" Althea remembered. "I forgot all about him!"
"You mean he's here too?" Todd yelled. "We might as well be living in the lobby!"
Althea went out and to her chagrin found Pietro talking to the reporters and they were taking notes. "And there's a psychological angle of Duke's relationship to Jean that the police have overlooked. You see…OW! MOMMY!"
Althea grabbed Pietro by the ear and hauled him away. "Goodbye Pietro! It's way past your bedtime! Gotta go help your sister tuck your drunk mommy into bed!"
"OWW! OWW! OW!" Pietro shouted as she shoved him through the door.
"Come on! You owe us!" Darkstar snapped.
"No I don't," Althea told him. "Look I swear this is all a coincidence. I haven't anything to do with it!" The phone rang and she picked it up. "Hello?"
Cut the scene to Bobby in a darkened room. "Listen, Althea Delgado Tolensky? I'd like to lay a proposition for you. It concerns the death of Jean Grey…" Suddenly a hand cut off the mouthpiece, preventing any further discussion. Bobby made an evil grin at the person who cut off the conversation.
Back at the party Althea hung up the phone. "And who was that?" Starchild asked.
"Some nut trying to sell me insurance," Althea said
"WHOOPIE! LOOK AT ME!" The Baroness streaked by in her underwear.
"I wish I hadn't," Althea groaned. "Okay that is a lot more of the Baroness than I wanted to see! It's official. Red's imagination is out of control. AGAIN!"
"I think the conga line led by She Hulk should have been your first clue," Darkstar remarked.
"Burn baby burn!" Pyro laughed as he set another plant on fire.
"WHY AM I COVERED IN TINSEL AND BLINKING LIGHTS?" Blade the vampire hunter yelled.
"MAMA! I WANNA TALK TO MAMA!" Mastermind whined on the phone.
Rahne was dancing on the table. Emma Frost and the Baroness were fighting. Serpentor II was singing drunkenly. The Leader and Cobra Commander were having a slap fight and Gargoyle was taking bets. A giant green monster hopped out of Benny's magic bag and everyone was running. In short, total insanity reigned.
Todd put his arms around is wife and grinned. "Honeybunch I love you because you know the loveliest people!"