Disclaimer: I do not own Skins, please don't rub it in. :-( Especially now that series 4 has started.

Author Note: 2 weeks left of my job, which means I will probably be able to update a lot more and quicker when it's finished. I'm not used to this time management thing, so I'm sorry it's taken a while to get this up. I hope you enjoy.

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Carry Me Away

Chapter Six: Time That I Believe

The clock on the kitchen wall ticked slowly, each movement of the hands reverberating in her ear. A half eaten sandwich lay abandoned on a plate a foot away, Katie's elbows resting against the surface. She lowered her face into her hands, wondered when her life had become uncontrollably unravelled. She couldn't face JJ. The guilt was undeniable. He called frequently, left messages often and acted like she was only busy and not ignoring him at all costs.

'Katie, someone's here to see you,' Jenna's voice called through the house, pulling her head upwards as the face she didn't want to see appeared in the doorway.

'Jonah.'

'I thought you might be ill,' he whispered, holding out a small bouquet of red gardenias which she accepted with caution.

'I'm okay,' she assured him, filling a vase with water. 'Thank you, they're beautiful. They're my,'

'Favourites,' he interrupted with a knowing smile. 'That's why I chose them.'

The expectant look in his eyes only sought panic as guilt consumed her. She couldn't bare the strength of feeling. She loved him, really loved him. Yet she'd betrayed him in the worst possible way. It was easier when he wasn't there, when she could hide in the house and not have to face anything. But now he was there, standing opposite her, having infiltrated her safe haven.

'You haven't answered any of my calls,' he noted, perching on the edge of a stool with a frown.

'I, I've been busy,' she informed him, knowing the lie that came from her lips was only contributing to the betrayal.

He reached a hand out, pulled her closer without her permission. 'I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too,' she responded, ungripping her fingers from his hand. 'I'm sorry.'

She had missed him, that wasn't a lie and she was sorry. He looked at her warily, conscious of her rejection of his touch. He watched her face, tried to place the fast movement of her eyes, couldn't understand why she appeared so fraught.

'You can tell me anything, you know that, right?' he reminded her, reaching a hand out to her shoulder, which she allowed to stay.

'I know,' she nodded, allowing JJ's hands to slide around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug which she graciously sank into.

It hurt to be so close to him, yet still felt like the most natural thing in the world. Her breath caught in her throat, sent her body into a period of gentle shakes until JJ finally pulled away.

'I can't stay, mum's cooking and gran's coming over for dinner. I should go help chop carrots or something. I'll see you tomorrow at college.'

A tiny smile was the only response Katie could give, he left the room hastily, looking anything but comfortable with the exchange of conversation. He knew. She could tell it. She didn't know what he knew, but she knew he knew something was wrong. Her mind raced, her body shook harder until she was forced to sit down. The door made a noise as it closed behind him, her throat growing dry. She tried to take deep breaths, tried to manage her gasps until she could finally distract herself long enough to calm down.

*

A vegetable casserole was cooking in the oven, two plates placed in their positions, glasses and cutlery joining them. Even napkins, which they only used on rare occasions and a bottle of wine which they drank every week. The kitchen was perfect, Naomi decided. She sat down in one seat, filled her glass with the red liquid and sipped on it. She stared up at the clock, tried to time Gina's arrival perfectly so that the food would be cooked, yet not overcooked. She'd never been to so much effort before, not even on her birthdays when really she should have.

She noted her mistakes as a daughter. Forgetting to wash her mothers conservative suit the day before she had jury duty, losing track of the hours with an old friend when she was thirteen and turning up at home six hours late to find the police had arrived. Even her constant lonely moods she'd lost herself in through the years. Gina had been there through it all, had done it all with a smile because they were the good times. Even if Naomi had messed up. She couldn't count the number of times Gina had held her in her arms even though she'd done something that most parents would ground her for.

Then there were the bad times; when Gina spent weeks in bed, or washed her clothes in the detergent that made her itch, and the amount of times she hadn't turned up to school to pick her up, so she had to walk home alone. She shouted and got angry because it was what she did. But Gina just took it, accepted her blame and Naomi didn't once question why it continued to happen.

'Mum, where are you?' Naomi muttered into the phone, watching as an hour passed, wondering where her usually early home mother could be.

Eventually, two hours late, with a dried up casserole sat on the hob, Gina walked through the door.

'Where were you?' Naomi asked, her tone a little harsher than she knew it should be.

'I was at Rob and Emily's, I tried to call but you didn't answer your mobile.'

'I left it upstairs.'

Naomi stood up, looked up at Gina with down turned eyes. She wanted to get mad and shout, but she couldn't. She had to remind herself why she was there, why she'd gone to the trouble of cooking her mother dinner in the first place.

'Oh, you made dinner. I'm sorry, if I'd known I'd have come straight home.'

'It's okay,' Naomi whispered, sitting back down and pouring two glasses of wine.

'How about we have dessert?' Gina offered, placing two slices of cake on the table.

The gesture cracked a smile onto Naomi's face. It wasn't much but it was something, anything to help break the ice that had struggled to melt. Naomi sat back down opposite her mum, sipped on her wine and tried a piece of the cake. She spat it out into her hand, coughing in regret of the food that touched her lips.

'That is disgusting,' she noted, pushing the rest of the pieces towards Gina.

'It can't be that bad, surely?' she asked, rolling her eyes at Naomi's incessant behaviour. She forked a piece of the cake into her mouth, reacting in a similar way to Naomi.

'Rob and his health food?' Naomi asked with a smirk.

'That man needs to try a piece of chocolate, next time he's round here we're putting sugar in his tea and telling him it's a new blend. He'll drink it, because he loves me.'

The smile that had found its home on Naomi's face grew wider, a contemplative grin that she didn't give up until Gina questioned her inane expression.

'I'm sorry.'

'And that makes you grin like next doors cat does it?' Gina asked, raising her eyebrows.

'I take you for granted,' Naomi whispered. 'You've always been there, you've always supported me even when I've done the wrong thing. I expect you to still be there and when you are it just makes me expect it even more.'

'I'm your mum, where else would I be?'

'Anywhere but here when I'm being a grumpy sod.'

'Now Naomi, I'm the one with the mood swings. Not you.'

Naomi took a deep breath, analysed her mother's face for a moment. 'Do you ever wonder if I have them too?'

Gina's eyes narrowed adamantly. 'No. Naomi, no. You don't, you won't.'

'I'm still sorry,' Naomi whispered. 'You're a nice person and I'm anything but.'

'Stop doing this Naomi,' Gina demanded, cupping Naomi's hand between hers. 'Stop beating yourself up. You are beautiful and smart and so, so special that sometimes I wonder how someone like me could produce someone this remarkable.'

'Mum!' Naomi rolled her eyes, turned her rosy red cheeks away.

'No, don't try to stop me Naomi. You are special whether you have the confidence to believe it or not.'

'You have to say that, you're my mum,' Naomi noted, grinding her teeth, her gaze still set away from Gina.

'I didn't say it because I have to, I chose to say it, you're my little girl. Except that you're a big girl now.'

The table disappeared quickly from between them, Naomi removing herself from her seat and wrapping her arms tightly around Gina's shoulders. She wanted to cry yet didn't want to shed any tears. Instead she squeezed her eyes together, imagined that her cheeks were covered in tears and pushed her face against her mum's shoulder.

*

There were only so many days Katie could stay off college, could get away with pretending to be sick, without arousing her mum's suspicions. Unfortunately with a weekend in between, any unwell feelings had two extra days to disappear. Monday morning arrived and Katie stood cautiously in the doorway to her form room. She didn't want to go in. The thought of facing JJ made her feel more ill than she had for the past few days. She leant against the wall, counting down from one to one hundred in the hope it would settle her nerves. She practiced the various ways of saying hello, greeting JJ in her head repeatedly until his voice almost seemed real.

'Hello Katie.'

'Oh,' she gasped, jumping out of her skin when she noticed him stood beside her. She automatically assumed he was already inside, hadn't thought to check that he might not yet have arrived. 'Hi.'

Her voice failed in its attempt to sound normal, all mock greetings disappeared into the abyss as reaction took over. The tiny word lingering with awkwardness in the air.

'Are you okay?' he asked, reaching out a finger to brush her hair back behind her ear. The feel of his touch on the sensitive patch of skin on her neck made her shiver. She smiled, couldn't avoid staring up into those beautiful eyes that always captured her attention. He leaned in, brushed his lips against hers. The addictive taste of his smell pulling her into a crushing passionate embrace, her fingers curling up into his hair.

She couldn't do it. She pushed him away, pulled back with tears in her eyes. It hurt to breath, it hurt to look at the confusion that was housed in those dazzling features.

'I slept with someone else,' she spoke, the words coming out clearly until the final one when she almost choked on gasps of breath and tears.

'What?'

'I was upset and I didn't know what to do and I went to the gym, I slept with someone who works there and I'm sorry. I regret it so much and if there's any way that I can make it up to you, please just tell me.'

The soft lines on JJ's face creased together harder, making him look older, wiser than his years. She could feel herself getting worked up, words still ranting from her lips like JJ when he got locked on. He shook his head, the reality of what had happened sinking in with dread and confusion.

'But you love me,' her whispered. 'People don't cheat when they love someone.'

'I'm sorry,' she tried again, tears flowing freely down her cheeks until she knew her face was a mess of red blotches. She was sorry, so sorry that she couldn't even put into words so much. 'I love you Jonah, I love you so much, please don't hate me,'

'I don't,' he whispered, interrupted before he could finish as Katie leant forwards, crashing their lips together, forcing him to accept the kiss for a moment before he pushed her away.

'Stop, you can't do this,' he cried out, moving a hand to his temple. He rubbed it, muttering words to himself, trying to calm himself down before he became locked on. It was coming, he could feel it coming faster than it ever had. He wasn't violent, not normally, but being locked on was another matter entirely. He wanted to hit, to kick, to punch anything around him. He pushed his hands together, rubbed his knuckles until Katie's glares were too hard to ignore.

'Leave me alone,' her mumbled, trying to stay calm.

'No, Jonah, please,' Katie begged, resting a hand on his arm. He stared down at her fingers, breathing heavily as they clenched tighter to his jumper.

'Get off me,' he snarled, petrified of how angry he was becoming.

'Jonah, I love you, I didn't do it to hurt you. Everything is changing. I didn't believe in us but now I do, now I know.'

'Get your fucking hands off me!' he screamed, pushing her away, unwrapping her fingers before he pushed her shoulder with as little force as he could.

'Jonah,' Katie tried again, not moving from her spot by the door.

'You fucking, you don't do that if you love someone. You don't cheat, you don't fucking cheat if you love someone. You don't do that, you don't fucking do that,' he muttered, his voice repeating over and again the same phrases, some angry, some calm. He was losing control, he could feel it happening, like he was watching himself from a distance. He started to scream out words, 'Cunt, fucking cunting cunt. Bastard, cunting fucking bastard.'

Katie recoiled, leant against the wall, fearful of JJ. She'd never seen him so worked up, had no idea what to do until the door of the classroom opened. Freddie and Cook came out, both looking around for JJ, taking him into their arms the second they saw him breaking apart. Katie couldn't stay, couldn't face the worried looks of her friends. So she ran.

*

The bicycle's wheels continued to spin for a moment whilst Naomi pushed it into the rack, securing it with a rusted old lock. Everyday she expected to come back and find the bike gone, yet was never surprised to see it still there. It wasn't a very old bike, but it was hardly the latest model that all the boys seemed to rave about back in school. She left it, as she usually did, thinking of her mother who once owned it before her. Things were changing again, for the better. Her life had taken a rollercoaster ride in recent months and she wondered if it was finally coming to a stop. The thought filled her mind, took over her conscious until she was almost knocked out by someone rushing past her. She turned around, through force, not desire and caught a flash of deep, dark hair that she recognised instantly. Katie. She did a double take, watched as she ran away from the college building. After a moments pause and the realisation that no one was going after her, Naomi picked up her feet and did the one thing she hated to do; run. Physically speaking, since she noted the irony in her love of running from the things that mattered in life.

'Katie!' she screamed out, following her through the opening of a small forest of trees towards a beaten up shed in disrepair. Katie stopped, rested her hands against the wooden frame before slamming her fist against it, then her other until she was banging on the door like a deranged woman locked on.

'Katie,' she whispered, resting a hand on Katie's back in the hope of calming her. At first it didn't work; she lashed out, let her hands fly as she spun around until Naomi's hands came down on her wrists, locking their eyes until Katie's breathing became the only noise and her chest heaving, the only movement.

'It's okay,' Naomi tried, reaching around her shoulders until her friend collapsed into her arms.

'It's not, it never will be.'

Once the tears had subsided and they sat on the dirt ground side by side, their backs resting against the wooden shed, they finally began to talk.

'Whatever's happened, you can tell me.'

'So you can go tell Emily?' Katie spat out, wiping her wet cheeks.

'No,' Naomi assured her. 'Katie, we're friends, even if you don't understand girls liking girls.'

A long deep breath calmed Katie down slightly, her eyes resting closed until the gentle breeze made her open them once more. She didn't deserve Naomi's friendship, just like she didn't deserve JJ's love. She wondered if she even deserved Emily as a sister.

'I cheated on Jonah.'

Naomi didn't speak, which made it harder for Katie to look up at her. She'd done enough things to push away her once friend that anything more made it harder to turn back. Yet Naomi's finger's still rested on Katie's between them on the dirt ground. She expected rejection and instead, got support.

'I don't deserve this,' she whispered, pulling her hand away and cupping it against her chest.

'Katie, everyone makes mistakes. It's obvious you're paying for it now.'

The opening of the gates sent everything flying out, the tears continued to fall but slower and words fell from her lips before she could control herself. 'Everything's such a mess. Jonah hates me, you hate me, even Emily hates me and always will.'

'Emily's struggling,' Naomi assured her, which only sought to contribute to her concerns.

'She'd be better off if I hadn't come into her life. If it wasn't for my dad, this wouldn't be happening. I have nothing else, if he wasn't here I could go back to Manchester and no one would miss me.'

'That's not true Katie,' Naomi sighed, moving her hand to Katie's shoulder. 'I'd miss you and I know that deep down Emily would too.'

Katie rolled her eyes. 'How would you know? You don't even talk to her anymore.'

'She's lonely Katie, she's just really lonely. I think she needs you and you need her, but it takes time. She's been through a lot.'

'Been through a lot,' Katie sighed. 'She's the one who's been through a lot.'

The words weren't supposed to sound bitter, yet that was how they came out. Katie swallowed the lump building in her throat, running her hands through the dirt beside her in a therapeutic fashion.

'Everyone's always worried about Emily, think she won't handle anything, that she needs looking after. What about me? When will anyone look after me?'

The claims were mostly unfounded, she knew that. Neither of her parents had acted like Emily was more fragile or needed more support, yet she still couldn't shed the feeling that she was the one they thought was okay. She wasn't okay, far from it.

'Maybe they think you're strong enough to handle it.'

'I'm not.'

*

Sometimes she still woke up in bed covered in sweat and on the odd occasion, urine. The inability to control her bladder at night only came when she was stressed, originally from the knowledge that she would have to go to school the next morning. Rob never knew because she always cleaned up after her mess. In the mornings she would strip her bed, spray Febreeze on the mattress and remake it. The soiled sheets hiding in her wardrobe until she got home from school and could wash them without him ever knowing. It happened everyday for two years. Sometimes she thought she had a bladder problem, weakness or something similar that made it happen all too often. She contemplated going to the doctor, until she realised that they would probably call her dad. After a bit of research on the internet, she discovered that stress could be a cause. By the time she turned sixteen she knew the doctor couldn't call her dad, but her research told her the doctor would probably ask if something was worrying her. So she never went.

'For fucks sake,' she muttered, tears creeping up on her when she realised how damp her sheets were. She wasn't in that place anymore, she didn't understand why it had happened. Aside from the oral assignment later that day, she didn't think that would produce nearly enough stress to cause the bedwetting.

She climbed out from under the covers, stripped them from the bed and pushed them into an old JD bag which she placed in her wardrobe. She didn't need to hide it anymore, but at seventeen, there was another level of embarrassment in wetting the bed. She showered, changed into clean clothes and covered herself in deodorant to hide the scent she was sure had gone yet she could still smell lingering in the air around her.

*

The door to the nurse's office wouldn't open when Naomi tried to push it, she tried again until a voice whispered something from the other side. It was familiar and so faint that Naomi suspected the person had been crying.

'Emily?'

'Naomi?'

'Yeah, it's me, let me in,' she muttered, resting a hand against the clouded glass.

The weight on the door shifted and the handle came down, allowing it to swing open. Naomi closed the door behind her, glancing around for the nurse who was supposed to be in there. She chewed on her lip, moved closer to Emily who had sat down on a chair, her head in her hands.

'What are you doing here Emily? Are you okay?'

'Erm,' she whispered. 'I had a panic attack in lesson.'

'Oh. What, what for?'

The question was stupid, which made Naomi regret it instantly. She perched on the edge of a table beside Emily, reached a hand out which she quickly retracted before it reached Emily's shoulder.

'What do you think?' Emily muttered, putting a folder onto the table from beside her chair.

Naomi picked it up, took a deep breath and nodded. 'The debate.'

'Why are you in here?' Emily asked, pushing the folder back into her bag and attempting to distract herself from the looming assignment just hours away.

'I think I twisted my wrist, I tripped up and landed awkwardly. If Katie hadn't ran into those woods by the playing field it never would have happened,' Naomi sighed, holding it carefully in her other hand.

'What happened?' Emily asked, looking worriedly at her.

'I think she needs a friend Emily.'

'You're her friend.'

'Yeah,' Naomi replied. 'I think she needs more people. Everyone knows you're not entirely happy, but Katie's lonely too. Maybe she needs you as much as you need her.'

'I don't need her.'

'You know that's not true, you're fucking lonely Emily. You always have been, even when you were friends with Effy, you didn't act like you really trusted her. You can trust Katie, you should at least try.'

Neither of them spoke. Naomi sat in silence, letting her legs swing against the legs of the table. She watched Emily, who stared down at the floor, her brow furrowing as though in thought. Her hands rested on her legs, her fingers pressed a little harder against her clothes. Naomi jumped down, pulled up a chair from across the room so that she could sit opposite Emily.

'What are you doing?' Emily asked, looking up.

'Don't,' Naomi told her, taking her hands into her own, linking their fingers.

Emily tilted her head back down. 'Thanks.'

'Don't look down,' Naomi muttered, moving one of her hands up to Emily's chin.

They shared a small smile, the light that rarely seemed to shine in Emily's eye lit up making Naomi's smile grow further. She'd fixed things with her mother, which lifted a weight from her shoulder. Katie was at least accepting her, even if she wasn't the happiest about it all. Things were better. Naomi's smile grew bigger, turned into a coy smirk that she tried to push away, unsuccessfully.

'What?' Emily asked, frowning at Naomi's eyes fixed on her.

She bit her lip. 'I,'

Naomi couldn't speak, her words failing her as she lifted herself out of the chair, reaching her hands around the back of Emily's head and forcing her tongue into her mouth. It felt right, it felt like the most natural thing to do as Emily kissed back.

'Oh,' Emily replied when they separated, her fingers resting on her lips. 'But the debate.'

A small laugh escaped Naomi's lips, she shook her head, holding Emily's hands again. 'It's going to be okay.'

'How do you know?'

'Because we're going to be okay,' Naomi sighed, pulling Emily into her arms and kissing her cheek, letting her lips press against the skin that led to her neck until they were kissing again, their hands wrapping tightly around each other.

'Don't mind me,' came a third voice, causing them to pull apart as the nurse closed the door behind her.

Chapter Six Voting Options:

Naomily 1: Naomi plans a special night with Emily, which is interrupted by a phone call.

Naomily 2: Naomi and Emily's relationship is tested when their parents' relationship shows cracks.

Katie 1: Katie struggles to be friendly when she is forced to spend time with Emily and Naomi.

Katie 2: Katie's problems are put into perspective when something major happens.

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