A/N: First of all, I would like to thank you all SO much for reading and reviewing thus far. Your kind words are a huge encouragement. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Please be gentle as I feel that you may not all like this one as much. That being said, I'll shut up now. Enjoy!
-C. Lites
Lightning lied down on the leafy forest floor. The sunlight fell across her tear-stained cheeks in odd shapes, filtered by the trees above. Guilt was the only viable emotion that she could discern in the tumult that was her mind. Remorse for what she had done the night before was engulfing her, at the same time that she wanted to be happy about their encounter.
There was a tiny voice of protest in the back of her mind, however. It told Lightning that she needed to think about her own future. It was possible that Serah was gone forever. But what if she wasn't? Could she really expect Snow to wait forever? Their relationship was special but not unbreakable. After all, what relationship was? The voice told Lightning that if she were in Serah's position, she would want Snow to move on, to find happiness. After all, if you really love someone, their happiness comes before your own. Lightning realized that she honestly believed, beyond the realms of selfishness and gaining him for herself, that Snow would be happier with her. She knew Serah better than she knew anyone else, and she was not the woman for Snow. She wasn't even a woman at all, she was just a girl. A kind-hearted, but young and foolish girl. What she had with Snow was scarcely more than an infatuation.
It was true that Snow had proposed, but that could be attributed to his character itself. Snow was so kind, so gentle and loyal, that he probably hadn't even considered that there could be anyone he could love more than Serah. He had simply never been tempted otherwise. Lightning had certainly not meant to show Snow what else was out there waiting for him. She had never planned on being witnessed in the stream, and she had tried her hardest to resist him. The fact remained, though: she loved him. There was not a thing about him that she didn't love. But he belonged to Serah, she was having a hard time thinking of anything else.
The nagging voice had other plans. She needed to stop thinking of herself in relation to other people. She was more than Serah's sister. She was more than an officer of the military. She was more than the leader of this party, more than a Pulse l'cie. She was Lightning Farron, a woman with a strong body and a sound mind who didn't need anyone else in the world to make her who she was. Morals didn't seem to be governing the rest of humanity, so why should she be any different? Lightning was in love with Snow, and she was done hiding it. Their names even sounded correct together: Lightning and Snow, the forces of nature were as uncontrollable as love itself.
The only thing left to consider was Snow. Lightning had finally come to terms with her own desires, but what about his? What if their encounter had been nothing more than the drunken manifestation of his lust? What if, in their similar appearances, she was just a substitute for Serah? What if she was underestimating how Snow really felt about Serah? If so, none of her great revelations would matter. If Snow didn't love her back… she couldn't allow herself to think it. He had to feel something for her. He had known who she was and what he was doing in the stream. It was her name he had uttered in passion.
Right and wrong are blurry concepts, all depending on the person judging. What is right to one person is wrong to another, it was all relative. It wasn't up to anyone else to govern her choices. Lightning was done waiting, done with the self-sacrifice, done hiding. Tomorrow, she decided. Tomorrow she would tell him how she felt.
Snow woke in confusion, feeling the tickle of grass against the bare skin of his back, blinking furiously against the morning sunlight. Where am I? he wondered, looking around to his left and right. To his left, he saw a swiftly flowing stream and then… it all came back. The previous night, Lightning. He sat up slowly, trying to ward off the dizziness and aching head. Damn hangover, he thought bitterly. Snow was appalled with himself. He couldn't believe he had made advances on Lightning. He couldn't believe he had been drunk enough to allow the thought to even cross his mind. She probably hates me, he thought, remembering the last glimpse of her naked body, fleeing into the darkened woods.
It doesn't matter if she hates you, he thought to himself. He had Serah, and that was what mattered… right? It wasn't as if Lightning was nice to him before anyway, so besides being a little awkward, things wouldn't change between them that much. She must already hate him. She was always hitting him, punching him, berating him in front of everyone. Even as he thought these things however, it all seemed to fall into place in his mind. Lightning did these things to cover up how she had been feeling all along. In a selfless act she pretended to hate Snow to push him away, to protect his relationship with Serah.
His relationship with Serah… what did it really mean to him? He had been happy with her from the start. She was sweet, caring, and extremely beautiful. Something was missing, he had known it for a long time, but when she told him she was an l'cie the last thing he could do was abandon her. For this reason, he proposed, so that Serah could feel secure and needed in her time left. But how long could a man deny himself something he deserved and yearned for at the expense of another? Better yet, how had it taken him so long to realize that the something was Lightning?
When Lightning finally found the courage to stand and fix her appearance to a level of suitability for the eyes of the others, it was mid-day. She found everyone, even Snow, in a small clearing about half a mile from where she had slept alone. She had tracked them easily enough, hearing their idle banter through the trees and observing the smoke from the campfire overhead. No one thought anything of her absence, she often slept separately. She could feel Snow's eyes all over her however, she wasn't sure how to react. She turned and made direct eye contact with him, ignoring the scorching blush she could feel overtaking her features. He met her gaze with a daring attempt at looking undeterred, but she felt encouraged when she noticed his own blush. Was he trembling? Lightning smirked to herself, she had been right in assuming that it was more than alcohol pushing Snow her way. His feelings of nervousness and longing were written all over his face.
"Shall we get a move on, then?" she asked them all, smiling slightly. As they made their way across the rugged terrain, taking out minor fiends along the way, Lightning stuck close Snow. She was waiting for a chance to talk to him, alone. She was surprised to find that she didn't feel afraid. His easy-going nature had returned during the day, and now that she was no longer bothering to brush him off, they were getting along like old friends. She could tell they both knew that there was something hanging between them, and that it was going to be met, soon. For now though, the day was passing with the kind of carefree atmosphere that Lightning hadn't experienced since before the Purge. She noticed the others casting her strange glances in her happiness, but she didn't care. She was being herself for the first time in a long time and the release was beautiful.
As night fell and they made camp yet again, she knew her chance was fast approaching. After they had all eaten and darkness dominated the landscape, Lightning gave Snow a very pointed look across the campfire before rising and excusing herself from the group, setting off to find a secluded area in the now mountainous region they were currently inhabiting. She knew Snow would have to wait awhile before leaving, as to avoid arousing suspicion. She sat on the cool rocky ground to wait.
Clouds had been slowly moving in all day, and now a light rain was falling. Lightning tilted her head skyward, enjoying the sensation of the cool moisture on her face. After what seemed like an eternity of twiddling her thumbs and drawing pictures in the dust with her hands, she saw his familiarly huge stature bobbing around the corner. He sat down on the ground facing her, forcing an anxious smile.
She suddenly didn't know what to say. The dozens of different versions of the same speech in which she told him that she loved him, that she always had, that she could make him happier than Serah could ever dream of, all of this was suddenly forgotten. Snow also seemed at a loss for words, he was just looking at her with an expression somewhere between bemused and alarmed. The silence was suffocating. The only sounds were those of their breaths, mingling with the light patter of the raindrops on the rocks.
It occurred to her then to stop rehearsing lines in her head, that they had the rest of their lives for explanations and apologies and small talk. Right now, they were two adults with needs. She was going to see them fulfilled.
She scooted forward over the now moist ground until her crossed knees were touching Snow's. Her face inches from his, Lightning just stared into his electric blue eyes, mesmerized by the beauty she saw there. She felt his hand lightly move to her arm, and he silently took her hand into his own, lacing their fingers together and then pulling her encouragingly closer. She moved into his lap, he released her hand and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She just held him for a moment, so caught up in what was happening she could hardly breathe. His arms were around her now, holding her tightly as if she would disappear at any moment. She could feel his breath, so warm and present on her neck. Now his lips, grazing her wet skin, then kissing her with a tenderness she never believed possible of such a man as he.
"Are you cold?" he asked her suddenly, "you're trembling." It was true, Lightning could feel her entire body shaking slightly, but it wasn't from cold. She had never felt so much nervous anticipation in her life. This sweet gentlemanly act from Snow had her melting.
"No," she answered him, having to speak up over the noise of the growing storm. The rain was falling harder now, wind whipping at their clothing and hair. Lightning reached up and removed the band holding Snow's hair in place, at least somewhat. His wind-blown, now sopping wet hair clung to his face, making him look somehow even wilder than usual. Seeing him like that sent her over the edge, and she knotted her fingers in his hair, pulling his face to hers in a voracious kiss. Snow reacted immediately, kissing her back fiercely. He grabbed her hips roughly, pulling her body somehow even closer to his own. She wrapped her legs around him, shivering in excitement upon feeling his prominent arousal pressing against her.
Snow began hurriedly undressing her, clumsily fumbling with buckles and zippers in his urgency. Lightning followed suit and threw Snow's long coat from his broad shoulders, anxiously unbuttoning his shirt and moving on quickly to his pants. She was breathing rapidly, shaking with need. Within moments her wet body was sliding across his as they held each other close in the chilly rain.
Lightning pushed Snow down forcefully onto the hard ground, straddling him and trailing kisses down his stomach. He didn't seem surprised by her take-charge attitude and she liked it that way. When her mouth reached his torso, she laced her fingers gently around his stiff cock, looking up seductively into his eyes. He groaned appreciatively, laying back and pushing his hips up slightly against her. After stroking him teasingly with her hands she took him into her mouth hungrily, sucking him vigorously while her hand pumped what her mouth couldn't reach.
"Yes, Light," he moaned out, holding her head down roughly and thrusting into her throat. As he was about to climax he pulled away from Lightning, and sat up. He looked down at her then, his own arousal glistening at the corners of her mouth, her eyes bleary with longing but glowing with vitality, hair whipping against her rosy cheeks. "You look beautiful," he said with a slight smile. "Now get on your hands and knees." Lightning found herself even more excited by his commanding, brusque tone and she complied eagerly. She could feel wetness that had nothing to do with rain running down her thighs and she wanted Snow badly. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder, smiling coyly. He grabbed her by the hips as he slowly began to take her from behind, gasping at her hot tightness as he entered. Lightning let out a long moan as his almost painful size overtook her. Their position offered for deep penetration and he grazed her deepest, most sensitive spot easily with each thrust.
She cried out with pleasure at every movement, rocking back against him as the storm raged around them. Her cries of ecstasy were muffled by a clap of thunder as Snow had his way with her. He slapped her ass hard as he pounded into her relentlessly. His harsh treatment was exactly what she ached for, and she was screaming his name as he exploded within her. She could feel his seed between her legs as he pulled out slowly, collapsing onto his back for a moment, breathing heavily. She too lied down, a little disappointed because she wasn't done yet, but neither was Snow.
He sat up and flipped her over onto her back, spreading her legs frantically with his hands as he begun kissing and nibbling down her legs from her knee to thigh. As his lips came down before her opening, Lightning's own urgency surfaced. She grabbed at his head and guided his face closer. "Mmm, Snow. Please—I can't take it anymore," she begged him. He grinned to himself before obliging her, inserting two fingers at once while getting to work licking her vigorously. His tongue strenuously explored every crevice before stopping over the spot that elicited uncontrollable moans of pleasure from Lightning. He sucked hard on her sensitive nub, inserting a third finger and pushing into her with all his strength. Snow's rough hands created a tantalizing friction, coupled with his soft, warm mouth. Lightning shuddered into orgasm, her hands yanking at his hair as she cried out in indulgence.
Snow raised his head, looking at her luscious breasts and perfect face, relaxed now in contentment, bathed in raindrops. "I love you," he said to her, helping her into a sitting position and looking into her eyes seriously. "It's always been you, Light." Her heart was leaping with revelry but Lightning knew she didn't need to return those sentiments. Her feelings must have been obvious to him.
"I know," she replied, placing a hand against his cheek lovingly, smiling softly at the adoration she saw in his eyes. "Again?" she asked, leaning forward shyly and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Of course," he replied with a chuckle, pressing his lips to her own in a passionate kiss and laying her down gently on top of their forgotten clothing.
The next day dawned bright and clear, a perfect contrast to the tumultuous night before. The first thing Snow saw upon opening his eyes was Lightning, her pink hair shining like satin in the light. Her eyes were still closed, a look of total peace on her sweet face. He realized this was the first time he had ever witnessed her sleeping without a weapon in hand. She surely felt safe in his arms. He smiled at this, at the astonishing woman sleeping soundly in his embrace, at having the strength to let go of the past and face the future, right or wrong… he didn't regret a thing.