AMATERASU Chp. 4: A Fire starts to Burn and Fades

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She gathered her team together. The first part of her plan was initiated.

The clubroom is full of people. Not just your usual individuals, the venerable SOS brigade, but its irregulars, Kyon's sister, the outgoing Tsuruya and the dynamic tweedle dee and tweedle dum pair, Taniguchi and Kunikida. Those two idiots. We didn't need them, she thought. Just for filler.

Her eyes travelled to the one person she intended this entire operation for: that imbecile that loved to wisecrack. He was looking away.

She though of what she'd say, "I am forming a full size search of an area struck by UFO's. At 1800 hours, we will be split into 4 groups-"

"Why are we even here?" Taniguchi, you stupid pig. She knew she would need to use every resource available. She would make this plan work.

"I need grunts, and Kyon is not a good enough one for this alone." She heard a loud sigh from the back. He'll get it later when I talk to him.

"Pay attention!" She threw a penny directly for his forehead. He woke up from his tired daze immediately. Good.

"Now then, we draw toothpicks!" and 8 of them were in her hand. Two with red lines, two with black, two with blue, and two bare.

All of them were at the ready to pull one out. She managed to get them in a circle. Kyon was across from her. She was banking on the hope that if she knew which place he took, she could get the same one as him.

She moved her hand with the toothpicks out to the center. Everyone but Kyon's sister, who would go to the group of her choice, had to do this.

All hands out, ready, and...

Go.

Before she even felt it, every toothpick was gone. She went to check hers.

Hers was red. Good.

She looked and saw it.

She was stunned.

Kyon's was black.

A sudden feeling of dread struck her, "...how can this be?" She mumbled.

She couldn't let this happen.

She then thought of something.

She could change this.

She wished.

Suddenly, it occurred. They all looked at each other.

Everyones toothpicks changed color before their eyes.

She saw the stunned faces of Kyon and Itsuki, Mikuru was frightened and even Yuki was startled.

As she looked around...

Taniguchi and Kunidika shared the color black

Tsuruya and Yuki were bare.

Koizumi and Mikuru were blue.

She and Kyon were red.

A voice deep inside screamed in both joy and fright. YES!

She straightened herself out.

"Ahem. And now to business..."

.

I'm feeling really down.

My heart starts to palpitate if I think about the situation, and I've been on the verge of tears for over an hour. Life, it seems, has struck out on its contacts and rescinded the deal. To lose someone is a feeling of extreme horror that rather than surprise you, it screams constantly. To lose both a mother and a father, I think it creates a deeper sorrow than any adjective or funny phrase can say.

Like an abyss. It runs deeper than you want to see.

Again, I wallow in sorrow on a plane traveling 1000 kmh and crossing the pacific this time. We're over california. This flight was completely fueled up and heading to Kansai. There, my sister is staying with a relative now. She was mature enough to handle the situation, but I was the one who had to deal with the grim business ahead.

How do you choose a plot, plan such events? This is not a festivity! It feels like i'm trying to lift that stupid boulder of life again.

You know, like Sisyphus, or even Atlas. They deserve all the more respect. Give them love.

.

I was going to be waiting in the airport lobby for an hour. I wanted to take a break for a moment.

On second thought, my sister needs me. I can't be my usual self now.

I got up to walk through the terminal area to the direction of the main entrance.

Bum-bum! Bubumbum!

Its the ringtone of the ESPER defense service. They must have had a team sent to escort me and want me to stay. "Hello?"

"Kyon, sir, we need you to wait for rendevous."

"No, I will take a taxi."

"Supreme Minister Koizumi has ordered us to take you."

"You will back down. I don't need it."

"We cannot disregard an order from the Supreme minister."

In my state of misguided irritation made by my situation, I refrain for a second and make a huge mistake.

I yell.

"I'm the Holy Consort, I use my title to order you to BACK DOWN!"

I said that aloud. Ah, shit.

The entire vicinity, though not that busy, was filled with hundreds of people. I just blew my cover.

"Um...hey you still there?"

"Yes, Kyon. What is it?"

"Good. Please come by quick."

I shut my phone, and people start to approach me.

"Are you the Holy Consort Kyon?" asks a middle aged woman in front of me.

I can't deny it. "Yes."

Uproarous sound exploded all around me, and the lady started to back away. She seemed startled by the sound of cheering and even jeering. People started to rush me.

"Goodness, I never thought I would meet you. Please sing my autograph-""You %^&#$, you and that stupid bit-""Excuse me, I have a problem I would like you to solve-" "YOU COULDN'T SAVE MY CHILD!-" "Kyon? Its me, Nakagawa! Let me help you-" "YOU PRI-"

I found an arm pull my collar and drag me. As I turn to look, 3 other men have taken my luggage. The flood/horde/mob/masses/herd/group/stampede/general assortment of humans was following, continuing to rant and scream and a few even conveniently had food to throw.

"Kyon, Kyon! You gotta watch yourself! The common people want you, and some want your head. Please, for the love of the goddess, can't you take care of yourself?"

"I can try." And I'll fail too while I'm at it.

The man I look upon is no other that a Mr. Nakagawa, the same who once held a deep infatuation with Nagato, and is now an agent of the ESPER defense service, dedicated to obeying all the commands of the supreme minister. THIS man, not Koizumi, is my least favorite esper.

Of course, its because he tends to be overenthusiastic about his role in this world, specifically in the defense of both me and Haruhi as well as the executive panel of the organization, now essentially a world government. When you see Haruhi and I walk on this earth freely, its these guys there, at least a hundred feet away, ready to pounce on any threat.

NOW you get why i'm so antsy about moving around. I've GOT to get away from these guys.

"We got the vehicle ahead for you. Just wait a moment."

In the parking lot was a large black van. Though it seemed to be nothing much, I'm sure they have their com setup or weapons in it.

The door opens and an all too pepped up agent throws me in.

"AHH!" thud. "ow."

The van really was a normal van. Nothing inside. So much for my expectations.

Now I said things, but there are plenty of people here. Mori was sitting across from me, and Arakawa was the driver. Nakagawa took the seat to my left and started to talk.

He didn't stop.

"Well Kyon, we at the Japan division have missed you for a long time. 3 months, 3 WHOLE months! You really need to keep in touch with us more! I heard about the assassination attempt at the opera house. That Celes is really the best thing to come out of England in a long time. She's a master sharpshooter! I even heard that she is some kind of vampire! Of course, since Haruhi willed that such things exist, we've seen all sorts of other mysterious things. Did you hear about the black unicorn injuring 3 kids at the equestrian center? How sad, seriously! And the-"

That's when I tuned out on him.

He continued to himself. I look at Mori. Probably my favorite esper.

I notice what appears to be that she had her head shaved. "Why'd you do it?"

"It just seemed to be a good idea. I wondered how the guys felt, walking around. So far so good."

"Aw, you know how I feel about long hair."

She laughed to herself, "It was just a new experience. I'm sorry if you feel bad. I guess that Haruhi's is all you need though right?"

Those words opened an old memory. The day I first saw Haruhi, she had the most fascinating locks of hair I'd seen. Every day after, she changed it anew. I at the time was not thinking about it that much, but now those memories feel like a treasure. The memory of her cutting her hair now is my worst memory of her. The memory of the time in closed space feels like a haunting moment.

It was one of the reasons that made me realize, that I love her.

I then thought of the more pressing matters at hand. The two of them noticed that my expression changed. You could only distract me so long, especially from what's happened.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"No, No! We understand! We're going to take you straight to your aunt's now."

Oh, o.k. We need to discuss what has happened.

"You may speak to Tamaru-san soon. He has found out some unusual things."

Such as?

"Well, the circumstances..." She refrained and turned her head away.

Please, tell me.

"Sorry, I actually have an order to say nothing to you. Only Tamaru can."

Hmm?

The idiot next to me started to talk, "It's O.K. Kyon! You'll see! Hey, Arakawa sir, step on it!

I said he was my least favorite esper for a reason.

.

The house of my aunt and uncle was up ahead, where my sister was. I was so glad to see her again.

As I stepped out of the vehicle, two hands wrapped around me and I collapsed to the ground beneath the wait of agirl too big to do the things she does.

"KYON! Where have you been?" On a flight from NYC to Kansai to get to you.

My sister, now 16, the last member of the immediate nuclear family I had, has me in a huge vise grip.

"You had me worried." She seems completely fine.

"You called me last night, I got here. What happened?"

Her emotion on her face changed in a snap. What was her standard cheery self melted away and a somber, damaged face showed. This face was the one of heartbreak.

"Kyon." She started to whimper. She hugged me tighter.

"AHHUHH!" She bawled and her tears came down on my shoulder. I could feel a tear welling up in my eye. I did my best to remain composed. "Kyonnn...ugh, huh huh," *sniff.

Her shift in mood was so sudden as to take me by surprise. How can I blame her? I try to talk her out of her state.

"Its gonna be alright, do not worry, we'll figure out things." To be honest, these words felt like something hollow. Maybe on some plane they were an attempt to make myself feel better.

Her sniffling continued, but it calmed, "th..thank..you, Kyon."

She was finally a little better. This was what brought my spirits back.

.

After talking to my aunt, the one who started the whole "Kyon" phenom by calling me that, we then discussed the basics of what had happened. Apparently, the vehicle my parents were in was crushed by a semi-truck. There was a number of issues. For one the driver was at large. Another was the fact that the vehicle had no registration of its own. It actually had one stolen from a similar vehicle. I was enraged. Who does such a despicable act? Something had to happen to stop this man.

It was these thoughts that kept me up through out the next night. I went to our house and searched through things. I spent the time going over the family files. Provincial birth records, various forms of ID, financial numbers, the deed to the house, everything. It felt a little bit more like I was an adult, trying to manage not just my life but the life of someone else. For years these two had held up our lives over the river of chaos, wading through it while my sister and I were children held in their arms. I got their contributions now. Now I had to help my sister.

What am I gonna do about school? Maybe I could transfer out of NYU and into something here. What is a good place to go? Maybe I could expect my aunt and uncle to help take care of my sister.

Now that I think about it, if I really cared so much, I could be here for her.

I was through the documents completely and about to take a break. I really need it. I wondered for a second about the things Tamaru would tell me tomorrow.

A thunderous noise came from the door.

"Who is it?"

I hear a lot of yelling. That means only one thing.

They all manifested together.

As I open the door, I see an amusing sight: Nagato is sitting on Asahina, Asahina is lying on Koizumi. Haruhi is beneath them all, crushed by their simultaneous weight.

"Geroff!" As everyone rolls off Haruhi, they brush themselves off. Haruhi turns to see me.

Her expression is a bitter one.

"KYON! Why'd you do that? Why did you run so fast?"

"I had to go and deal with a problem I couldn't expect you to deal with."

"No Kyon, you felt you could handle this yourself and decided to be arrogant. You don't respect that other people have concerns for the same things as you!"

"Hey! If theres anyone arrogant here, its you! I can't expect you to understand that this is serious!"

"You think I don't get it? Kyon, don't you get that I also feel bad here? For You? I know this is a real thing to deal with-"

"Really? You actually care? please-"

SMACK

What?

I look with my eyes and her hand had waved.

She slapped me, So suddenly.

"You idiot..." tears welled up beneath her eyes.

She turned her face and back to me, walked down the step and stomped off into the street, running. She continued to putter further. I could sense the darkness around her tightening, warping the light.

She was seething.

"Kyon." to my left is Koizumi, "You did it again."

He and Asahina were next to me. Koizumi had only a fraction of the typical cheshire grin of his as before, and Asahina was curled to his arm, fearful. Nagato was off to the side, sitting silently, as if expecting some event to happen. I turn to face him.

"What are you talking about?"

He laughed quietly to himself.

"You left her alone, right after the incident and again in the apartment. You've been doing that for a while now, just packing up and going whenever you felt like it."

Well, I just wanted to have my life be mine for once.

"But you trade something important for it. And someone else pays for it with no fault of their own."

You mean...Haruhi?

He looked away, "Its things like this that are all thats really left for her. We took the mystery away. She hides that she is really at a loss. What do you do if you find that you are indeed the one that the books talk about, that you alone can make the decisions that shape the lives of others, to the point of their very existence being threatened by whims that you have?"

So shes not mature enough to handle that she is a deity? We've always known that.

"Not quite. Its that for her, life was always better when the adventure was something on the horizon, when she felt the wind of better things move as a breeze, sailing her toward something better. And now...She has almost everything she could possibly want, no matter how ridiculous or exceptional it is. And she wanted a world that revolved around her, and got exactly what she wanted."

He turned back to me.

"She acts out at this point because she believes that any use of her power above a certain point constitutes something unwanted, so she behaves poorly. She has all that she wants, and that means there is nothing new for her anymore. The only thing she can live for is others. Myself, the brigade as a whole, and every individual on this and every world. And that includes..." His finger points.

"You."

He smirked more brightly.

"Of the few reasons for her to stay motivated by anything in this life, you are quite possibly the very center of it. At this point, you are her world. It wouldn't matter, even if her powers left her now, the reason she exists is for you."

I can't be that important.

"Why else would she be as upset as she was? The fact you didn't meet her halfway with trust when you decided to rush to your sisters aid was a sign, and it was stupid of you to just go when Haruhi could have manifested you and gotten there immediately. There was a better way." He stared out, then returned his gaze to me.

You already knew deep inside the answers, you just didnt reflect on them. Don't think that a closed space is the best way to deal with this. I have an agency dedicated to it, but there is a perfect way to fix all the wrongs here. You know..."

I sat down on the porch and contemplated.

So this is what it was about?

I did not respect her for the way she felt about me?

An eternity passed right here in seconds. A strain started on my heart. I could innately tell there was something I needed to do.

I needed to apologize and start over with her.

My feet were heavy from them falling asleep, but I brushed the weighty pain aside and walked slowly. Then as my legs no longer acted against me, I started to move.

I started to run.

.

The path I took seemed like destiny, and I followed it to the end. Visions of what was wrong hit me.

I said the wrong things to her. I really started to feel something that I could not immediately give a word to. Self-pity? Or was it embarrassment? I run faster, driven by my thoughts.

No, I know what it is.

Its shame.

I could see that in the past few months that I really was distancing myself bit by bit from Haruhi, and I did not even notice it at all. She was trying to hide the way she was feeling the entire time, frustrating and gnawing at her. An air of childishness hid the malaise of this relationship. I should have stayed longer, I should have taken her with me.

I should have treated her right.

Eventually a destination was in sight, one I should have expected.

It was the bench in the park.

Haruhi was waiting. In the near darkness save for the mercury lamps, I could still tell that she was glowing, and an iridesence boiled off her, surrounding her in a cloak of technicolor.

It was proof that she was a goddess.

My feet shuffled forward. I was hoping to surprise her.

A sudden intake of air sounds out from her breath and she turns. Her gazes hardens momentarily, then mellows. She recognizes me.

"Oh, so you came after me. I had thought you would come." She stared into my eyes with a glare of smoldering embers.

Could it be that on some level, you reshaped me to want to apologize? Nah, its not possible, not if you couldn't tell that I was there. Or you made it impossible to tell because you wanted a surprise.

As I sat down close to her, she turns away, then brings up related matters.

"I spoke to Itsuki, and he told me about the third subject being out there somewhere. I thought Sasaki was a threat, but I guess I was wrong." She then digressed, "My powers are fading. I really can't sense anything outside of my touch, and its getting worse. I wish I had done more when I had the chance. I can't fix my mistakes either."

So the the house of cards IS coming down.

She ignored me. There she stayed, and was in a blue, somber mood, definitely because there was no comebacks. "I was hoping that we could be together more, that all of us could start to be a team like we were before...and maybe even we could be a proper-"

"Couple?" I cut her off, not meaning to anger her, but to get to a point that had to be made.

She looked at me with a softer glare of anger, then turned away.

"Idiot. Though you did hit it on the head."

We continued to stay there. No words passed between us. Her mood seemed stiff.

"I wish you'd get it."

I was unsure of how to tell her anything in that moment, but my gut told me what to do in the next.

I moved forward and hugged Haruhi, and whispered, "I'm sorry," to her.

She said nothing back, but turned to face me.

I waited, and was surprised, the most suddenly I had ever been.

She kissed me deeply and hugged me close, her figure clocking into mine. My arms fell around her, and I held on as long as I could.

Eternity and seconds later, her lips moved away. She was smiling.

"Thanks, Kyon."

She held my hand close. Her grip tightened, meaning she was reading my thoughts.

Her smile widened. Maybe she figured something out?

"You actually meant what you said?"

Yes.

"Hmmm. You've also learned a little sense of respect. You were always the rebel, but you actually learned to trust me as your leader. Not that I didn't like you being a little stubborn. Otherwise, you'd be just like everyone else around me."

Hah, your immature self is showing again.

She pouted and smirked, "...stupid." and her middle finger entered my nose and pulled me around to the other side of her. Ow! Hey! Watch it!

She stretched, and her normal smile gradually flowed back in, and she closed her eyes and laid her head across my lap.

I could be certain of one thing.

I made things right with her.

We stayed there a little while and eventually we knew it was time to go. Together we walked back to the house. All the gang was there, even my sister.

"Everyone, come on in. Its late."

I let them all in. Its been a long day.

.

Haruhi decided to help me with the documents herself. She was back to her usual self in no time, bossing us around.

The entire team got back into rhythym quickly. Koizumi was handling the papers with Haruhi, Nagato was reading a book, though I'm sure she'd burn through all the work (not LITERALLY, though you have to be careful how you word things with her) if I only asked, and Asahina was preparing for everyone something to eat and drink.

I was on garbage duty. A chance to laugh again. Ah, but I volunteered, maybe because someone had to do it, and I was the host.

Oh, but I do have to say, I want to enjoy the late summer night. Of course the season is coming to a close, and before too long, the rains will kick in. Even the grunt work feels so much nicer. Things really are different now, aren't they? I feel a little bit better. I'm not entirely sure whats the proper way to grieve, but I know I'll miss my mother and father. If things are gonna change, well, I guess I'll let it be. This is the way life is.

I was trying to chuck the first bag of trash in the bin, up and over. There, that ones done.

A shuffling sound was growing. Hmm?

I turn my head.

Miss Asahina the big stared at me with a beaming smile. "Hello Kyon-kun."

"Hello." I was somewhat used to this. She always came every once in a while. It seemed that both her and Asahina would would take a break. Maybe go to her events and gatherings or what not in her own span of time. Whenever it takes place, whether its 20 or 2000 years from now, I bet it would have to be a glorious age with Asahina, big or little, in it.

"What is our meeting at this hour about?" Seriously, its like 11 o'clock.

She seemed anxious, "Well Kyon, its a warning like always. Remember this clue for now: when the next big event happens, please just let it happen."

"Hmm. Whats going too happen?"

She lifted her index to her lip, "Classified Information."

I get you. I know how important it is. Its the difference between your future and another one.

"Great. By the way, please take some time to talk to me a little more in this time. You've had normal conversations with everyone but me in this particular tale."

Heh, sorry. Got it. I'll see you around.

She waved goodbye and walked away into the street, and in a flash, the night took her.

I put the second bag of trash which I held the entire time into the bin. Hmm?

More shuffling from the bushes.

Hello?

And who else but a cat. Shamisen to be exact.

You lazy cat. Wait a sec, you're an indoor kitty, why are you out? Here, I'll take you inside. Have you even been fed since yesterday?

I look closer, and I find a much bigger surprise.

Huh?

Knocked out in the bush was one of the ESPER defense agents. Bruises were across his face.

He was dead.

A thunderous sound and sharp pain hit me.

And thats when everything became white, then black.

7-31-10

OK, I am going to apologize to you now for two things. First is my terrible habit of long footnotes explaining my choices, and second is the shift into a serious story, which in my own opinion was unnatural when I wrote it. I got rid of the exceptionally big note for this one, and here's some sentences for what they said.

I played with the way the characterization was and just did it to my liking.

I set some new rules which meant avoiding saying something with the same words.

I almost wanted to kill Nakagawa, but he can be used for future chaps, so I saved him.

More shoutouts, I got rid of them.