"…and then, she came to me and she was all, 'Mama, I dun broke up with mah man, and now he's sleeping with mah teacher!" The heavyset, dark-skinned woman on the TV screamed at Maury, gesturing unnecessarily with her hands. In response to what she had said, the crowd let out surprised at shocked gasps. Some shook their heads, others flipped off no one in particular, and a gush of swearing flew from all of their redneck mouths.

"Mama, don't you forgit…" The girl muttered, rubbing her pregnant belly and pouting at the crowd. The woman on the TV looked like she had just seen the light of God and threw her hands up, and Maury continued to watch her with a look of half expectance and half amusement.

"Then this little mutha fu****, he wents to mah baby's house, and he's got this mutha fu***** teacher with him, and that SOB is a man!" The crowd gasped dramatically as though they had even understood what the woman had said, and Roxas blinked trying to translate trailer speak into actual English.

"So, let me get this straight." Maury said, crossing his legs and holding his hand up for the crowd to be silent. "At the age of fifteen, your daughter slept with her nineteen-year-old boyfriend, who is currently attending college. He got her pregnant, offered to pay child support, and left her. Then you find out that, even though you already knew he was bisexual, is dating one of his male teachers, and you're angry?"

"Hell ya!" The woman shouted, and Maury just shook his head and sighed, probably thinking that the world really was coming slowly to an end.

"Why are you watching this shi--crap?" Roxas glanced up as his mother came walking into her room, quickly censoring herself and staring at Roxas incredulously. He shrugged and stuffed a handful of dried, sautéed mushrooms in his mouth; the poor substitute for chips that he had gotten hooked on.

"Just thought I'd have a healthy dose of redneck before I have to go and deal with the pedophile."

"Will you stop calling him that? You call him Axel to his face, don't you?"

"Of course I call him Axel to his face." Roxas muted the TV, which had now become a chorus of screaming and swearing and yelling and throwing blind punches. He turned to his mother to give her a look like she was crazy, eyebrows raised. "You don't call your boss King Dickhead to his face, do you?"

"Noted." She muttered and grabbed hers and Roxas's coats from the entry-way closet, throwing the lightweight jacket at her blonde son. "But that aside, you really should be more respectful. He's older than you…hell, he's older than me…"

"Yeah that's right…how old were you when I was born, again?" Roxas stood up and pulled his jacket over his head, not even bothering to unzip it, and grinned at his mother.

"Too young." She replied, frowning. "One of the reasons I prayed to God that I would have a son and he would be gay; because if you feel so inclined, you can have as much sex as you want without getting pregnant or getting some poor girl pregnant. Like that bimbo on TV."

"Mom, you don't believe in God, remember?"

"Well, whatever. Then I prayed to deity. But whatever I prayed to, in answered my prayers, did it not?" She smiled and ruffled Roxas's hair, and in response he glowered at her. "You are a boy, last time I checked, and you are gay, last time I checked. So I'd say that I did pretty well, huh?"

"Mother, there is something seriously wrong with you." Roxas muttered. "Something I wonder what would've happened if David or whatever his name was didn't go and get killed and leave us all that ca--"

"Don't finish that sentence, Roxas." The taller of the two blondes said, narrowing her eyes. "I loved David very much, and he loved me, and he loved you. Now get in the car, or we're going to be late. Again."

"How can you love someone who knocks you up and then leaves you stuck with a kid?" Roxas murmured under his breath. Of course he didn't intend for his mother to hear; he might be sarcastic, but he would never do something to purposely hurt her. However, he was inclined to believe that she had caught even a little by the way she suck in a breath and coldly pushed past him on their way to their new Lexus.

--

"I'm warning you, I'm in a pissy mood today!" Roxas called before he had even entered the dance room, closing his eyes and trying not to remember how his mother had completely chewed him out in the car. "Don't try to get me to do anything outrageous, because I'm barely in the mood to breathe let alone dance."

The blonde walked into the large room and onto the hardwood floors, looking around for the familiar face that sent fireworks exploding behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes. Instead, he was met with something else.

He was Axel, except his hair was a darker, less vivid shade of red. He was lacking two teardrop tattoos under his eyes. He looked like he was about ten years younger and maybe forty or so pounds lighter (which, considering how skinny Axel was in the first place, was hardly a compliment.)

"Who…the hell, are you?" Roxas finally managed, dropped his bag and moving a little closer to this stranger. He was seated on the balance beams, chewing on a wad of gum as big as Roxas's fist, swinging his legs like a five-year-old.

"I'm Reno." Damn, his voice even sounded like Axel's! Sure, it was younger, had more energy and less of the edge that Roxas was used to. But it still sounded like Axel. "You must be that Roxas kid."

"…And, how exactly do you know me? Sit outside my window at night and watch me undress for bed or something?"

"Um…no, actually. Axel just said you would be short, blonde, sarcastic, and would probably accuse me of being a pervert." This "Reno" glanced down at some list he had in his hand and started nodding, as though he was listening to some catchy song that only he could hear. "Looks like you scored all the points."

"Where's Axel?"

"Not here."

"Obviously." Roxas rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning against the threshold to the room, ready to run at any moment should he have to. "How do you know him, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The redhead asked, raising his eyebrows. Same mannerisms as Axel, too. Except his Roxas's opinion, when Reno did it it was way less sexy. No butterflies today, thank God. "We're brothers."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-five." Oh, look at that. He's ten years younger. Did I call that or what? Roxas thought, almost smiling. Almost. This was still slightly upsetting. Roxas was a person who didn't like to be torn from his daily routine just randomly and without warning, and this was pretty random and without warning.

"Where's Axel?"

"I thought I already answered that." Reno said, frowning. "He's not here. And don't bother asking me exactly where he is, because I don't know. He just asked me to show up today and give you this." He picked up his hand and waved the list in the air, hopping down from the balance beams.

"What is 'this'?" Roxas asked, coming forward and reaching out for the unoffending piece of paper. Reno had to be the same height as Axel; probably about 6'5". Standing at a short 5'7", Roxas didn't even try to grab it from the redhead's raised hand.

"Dunno. Probably a love note. Axel's always had a Lolita-complex." Roxas blinked and waved his hand, raising his eyebrows, trying his best to ignore the comment. Apparently it worked, as Reno handed him 'the goods' and shrugged, not even noticing how Roxas's hand was shaking ever-so-slightly.

"Oh, one more thing." Reno said, halfway out the door. He turned to glance at Roxas, eyebrows raised. "I'm supposed to ask you if you need a ride home."

"No." Roxas answered shortly, staring down at the piece of paper, afraid to open it. Reno muttered 'whatever' and walked out the double glass doors, leaving Roxas alone in the huge building.

"I know what this says." He whispered to himself, thankful he was alone. He wanted to cry, but he knew that he wouldn't. He wasn't the crying kind of person. "It says, 'Sorry Roxas. The truth is, I was madly in love with you. When you said that thing to me yesterday, it crushed me. You will never see me again. I'm sorry I troubled you with my time.' Right?"

Slowly, he unfolded the paper and looked at the small handwriting, trying to decipher what it said. He had to squint to see it, and after a while (and a bit of a headache) he gave up and walked briskly over to his bag, grabbed his reading glasses out of the small front pocket, and put them on his nose. Immediately, the text jumped into view and became slightly more legible.

"Okay, let's see here. 'Roxas, you're going to have to work on the techniques by yourself today. I'm not coming in. I have a hot date with a sexy-ass prostitute and I think he's way hotter than you, so I'm ditching you and your ugly ass.'" Roxas stopped and stared at the words for a few moments before he broke out into wild laughter, almost doubling over. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes, and he had quite the time trying to catch his breath.

"Okay, okay…um, 'I'd like you to try to run two miles before tomorrow,' easy, '..and for sure work on your stretching. I want you to try to do a split. I know that sounds scary, but you're flexible enough at this point to manage, I think. Just don't hurt yourself. I want your cock nice and intact for when I screw you later.' Pfft…in your dreams old man. 'So, run and stretch. Show off to your friends. I'm sure they'll find it very amusing. I love you and your bad ass self. Can't wait till Friday; you're going to love my apartment. And my king sized bed with the satin sheets. Truly and irrevocably yours, Axel.'" Roxas stopped again and raised his eyebrows, grinning.

"That's some note…" He muttered to himself, flipping it over. Of course, there was a little post script message scribbled on the back, and the blonde couldn't help but smile as he read it. "'By the way, if Reno is as much of an idiot as I think he is, I don't have a Lolita-complex.'"

--

"Hey, Roxas?" Zexion whispered. He cleared his throat, trying to get the raspy quality it had to take its leave. He was combing a hand through his overly long bangs, letting them fall into his eyes and then blowing them out of his face like people did in movies.

"Yeah? What's wrong?" Roxas's voice sounded raw and filtered through the phone; the one reason Zexion hated cell phones. If it were up to him, he would use is 1930's edition landline for everything. The sound was just so clear…

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No. Why?"

The bluenette sighed into the phone and felt his throat closing, the tears that had been streaming uncontrollably from his eyes for the last hour and a half coming back, threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. "Is it okay if I spend the night? We can like, hang out or something? Maybe read the dictionary together?"

He chuckled nervously, but on the other end Roxas was completely silent. That was, until he asked, "Zexion, what's wrong? Don't say nothing, because I know that's a lie. What happened?"

Zexion sighed again and wrapped his own arm around his stomach, beginning to rock back and forth slowly. "Well um…remember how I told you that…that Lexaeus said that I w-would be m-more likeable if I acted more like D…" He stopped and collected himself, trying vainly to stop his lower lip from trembling the way it was and steadying himself. "Acted more like Demyx?"

"…Yeah." Zexion could already tell from the way his friend had answered that he could predict the rest of the sentence; the reason Zexion was so upset. Uncharacteristically, not to mention. It was rare that the high-school scholar showed any emotion at all, let alone being upset enough to cry.

"Well um…after you left the other day, we got into this really big fight and…" Pause. Take deep breaths. He'll be patient. "I told him that if he liked me to be like Demyx so much, then maybe he should just fucking sleep with Demyx. If I wasn't good enough for him the way I am already. You know?"

"…Yeah…"

"Well…I um…I was working today. I traded shifts with Xigbar today because apparently he had a date or some weird thing like that…so I came home and um…" Zexion paused, but the longest wait in the world couldn't prevent the sob that tore from his chest and the tears that stained his cheeks and were splattering on his jeans.

"Oh God, Zexion, don't tell me he…" Roxas let the end of the sentence hang in the air between them. At first Zexion wasn't sure if he was supposed to finish it or not, but he decided that he would say it if only to get it off his chest.

"He was walking around in Lexaeus's shirt." He whispered into the phone. After a long pause, he decided that it was better to draw his knees up to his chest and hug himself tightly. You're okay, you're fine…Ah, if only he believed himself. "What's funny is…you know that button-down his has that's white with the blue stripes? The one you were always joking matched my hair?"

"Oh, he did not…"

"Yeah…" Zexion took another deep breath, shaking his head for no one but himself. "And he just…looked at me, and he was so smug and smirking. And um…L-Lexaeus came out of the bedroom and he saw me and…"

Another sob tore from his throat, and Zexion's hand flew up to cover his mouth. "And he just looked so shocked and he said…he goes, 'I thought you were working late today.'"

"Oh my God, Zexion…" Roxas whispered. His voice was full of sympathy, mingled with hatred for Lexaeus. Zexion found it interesting how, after three years of high school and two years of Zexion being a complete jerk to his best (and only) friend, Roxas could be this…kind. "Of course. Get all your crap and haul ass over to my place. You can stay as long as you need to. Right mom?"

"Right."

Zexion chuckled, wiping the drying tears from his cheeks and smiling faintly. "Your mom's listening?"

"That's okay, she already knew."

"Yeah, I already knew. But honey, that's so not cool. You come straight over here, and I'll take good care of you, okay? I'll even make crepes for breakfast and we'll get caviar for lunch and escargot and Carpaccio for dinner, okay? Whatever you need."

Zexion sighed and nodded, closing his eyes and opening them again shortly after. They were starting to sting, and he had a massive headache. "Okay. I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up the phone and grabbed three shirts, two pairs of jeans…he could just wear his sneakers…about six pairs of boxers (with he and Roxas being alone at night…God only knows what could happen. Especially if he's having sexual frustrations because of Axel…) toothbrush, toothpaste…

"Hey princess." Demyx sneered from the couch as Zexion walked out of the bedroom, smirking. "Where you going? Nearest whorehouse?"

Zexion ignored him, and in response Demyx started yelling curses and called names. Kind of like that dysfunctional family that was on Maury this morning. He walked up to the door and yanked it open, making sure to slam it shut behind him, effectively silencing Demyx's cries.

Outside, Lexaeus was leaning against the wall, a cigarette dangling lifelessly from in between his fingers. When he heard Zexion slam the door, he looked up and immediately his hand shot out to grab his student's wrist.

"Zexion, wait. We should talk--"

"I have nothing to say to you." Zexion hissed. "Let me go."

"No. We need to try to work this out. I didn't mean for--"

"What, you didn't mean for me to find out?" Zexion asked, raising his eyebrows and turning to face Lexaeus. His expression was as cold as always, his voice having twice the sharp edge that it had when they had first met. "There's nothing to talk about, Mr. Gradley. Because all it comes down to is this: I'm standing out here, and he's sitting in there, and when you go back inside, it's going to be him that falls into your arms and him that kisses you goodnight tonight." He snorted in disgust, shaking his head. "I hope you're happy."

He tore free of Lexaeus, who stood against the wall, staring at his former lover, speechless. Zexion walked over to his car, his car that Lexaeus had bought him in celebration of passing the driving test with the highest score in the last seven years, tossed the bag in the back, and opened up the driver's seat.

"Well where are you going?" Lexaeus finally called, expression one a mixture of confusion, regret, guilt, and hurt.

"Why do you care?"

--

"Roxas, doorbell!"

"Yeah, yeah! It's Zexion. God, Mom…" Roxas sighed and yanked their massive front door open, and his eyes were met with an unfamiliar sight. It was Zexion, all right. Except for a few key points; his normally perfect and combed hair was messy and sticky up in more than one direction. His normally perfect and crisp clothes were askew on his body, wrinkled beyond recognition. His normally cold and emotionless eyes were red rimmed and filled with a sadness that couldn't be matched. Yet when he saw Roxas, he forced a smile and swung his bag around the door and inside the house.

"Dude…" Roxas muttered. He sighed, and without saying anything else slid his arms around Zexion's waist and pulled him into a hug. It was definitely more intimate than a hug that would take place between two male friends, but it wasn't even close to some of the hugs that Zexion had shared with Lexaeus.

He buried his face in the shock of sweet-smelling blonde hair, arms around Roxas, body still shaking slightly. "He's a dick." Roxas whispered after a little while, shaking his head. "He doesn't know what he lost in you."

"Yeah, I know. But still…" Zexion sighed and he, too shook his head. "I don't know. Thanks for letting me come over."

"Any time." Roxas whispered. "I'm not really sure what kind of mood you're in, but…"

Zexion chuckled. Of course, he had totally seen this coming. Because what was Roxas's cure for every problem on Earth? Sex, chocolate, and Maury. "But what?"

"My mom went to the gourmet foods place down in Rhode Island, and she probably won't be back till late tonight."

"And?"

"The basement is dark and the blow up mattress has already been set up."

Zexion sighed. Of course, after having slept with Lexaeus, he could barely even remember what sex with Roxas had been like…aside from their occasional experimental fondling late at night, or both of them realizing that they were gay and no longer wanted to be virgins both on the same night. In the same room. In the same bed. But then again…sleeping with Lexaeus wasn't an option now, was it?

Slowly he nodded his head, and he could feel Roxas's arms around his waist tighten. "Okay. Make this hurt stop. Make me forget."

A/N: Day-um! Roxy and Zexy are getting naughty. xP Haha. But don't fear, dear readers! This will not be the end of any chance for AkuRoku in the end. And I swear to God, just because there's a little tiny RokuZex, DON'T STOP READING. Holy mother of God. The entire story won't be like this. It's all implied anyway.

As a matter of fact, I didn't even see this plot twist coming. xDD I mean, I'm all writing along, and I was like, 'Hm. I feel like Lexaeus and Zexion need more screen time.' (you get my drift, right?) and then I remembered that one person reviewed on this (I'm sorry I can't remember who you are, but if I did I would credit you for this awesome plot twist!) and they said that it was kinda mean for Lexy to be saying how much more he would like Zexy if he was more like Demy. So I was like...hm...

And yes. Two ukes, what on Earth could happen? Well Roxas turns into a super smexy seme of course! Seriously. Has anyone ever read RokuAku? It's seriously hawt. I actually have a RokuAku story on my list...

Changing the subject! I've promised myself like, these last million chapters that I would ask you guise this question and I kept forgetting. So. If I wrote LouisxLestat fanfiction, would you guise read it? I mean, I know that it says they respect the wishes of Anne Rice to not have any stuff posted on this site, but I've seen a ton of stuff around here...

Anyway, lemme know! And while you're at it, give me awesome sauce reviews! ;D

~Sara