Disclaimer: I by no means own these characters or anything related to DC Comics or Warner Brothers. Teen Titans, Deathstroke the Terminator, Batman, etc. None of it is mine. Zip, nada, nothing! (Ah, it hurts to know how true that is!)
Author's Note: Well, here's Chapter Seventeen. Oh man! OH MAN! Teen Titans Trouble In Tokyo rocked! I so loved it! Like to the point where I was telling myself to keep breathing! Okay, wow, there was my Trouble In Tokyo blabbing.
Anyway, this chapter was based off of two or three things. One was a quote that Marv Wolfman said and another was the song "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan. The last one, well, if I reveal it now, then it will spoil the entire chapter. Also, I hope my warning below doesn't mean anything bad to you. Lastly think about this question while reading these next two chapters: How did Robin and Slade's behavior and attitude towards each other change from currently in the story to how they acted during Apprentice pt.2? I thank all of those who reviewed the last chapter. Now onto a Warning, a Dedication, and a quote. Then on to Chapter Seventeen! And hey, there's more! After is another quote and another Author's Note! Can you tell I'm on a sugar high? ;-D
Warning: Please note, I actually, sort of...well, cried while I wrote part of this. Yeah, that's right I cried, the author of this story cried at it! I've never cried at my own work before. Never. It's a new thing for me. I don't know if that means that you as reader will cry. Maybe I'm just a sap (and I know I can be one sometimes), but I'm putting it out there just in case: You might cry while reading this chapter.
-T-
Dedication Of This Chapter Is To Bob Kane and Bill Finger for starting the legend of Batman, Robin and so many other characters that we all love and enjoy. Without them, this chapter would never be possible and neither would any of this story. I thank them for that because I wouldn't have learned half as much about my joy for writing as have now through writing "What?". Much thanks to them. And I thank them for creating my favorite character of all time:
Richard John Grayson a.k.a. Robin, the Boy Wonder I; Nightwing
-T-
"I think Slade can be likable. Terminator isn't...He's a person who has needs, desires and everything. On the other hand, Terminator is a mercenary. He can be a very likable person in a job that most of us would find repulsive."
-Marv Wolfman, on Slade's character, 1991
-T-
What?
Chapter Seventeen
My eyes flickered open and I yawned. Stretching my arms above my head, I got the kinks out of my back and then rolled over onto my chest. I grabbed the pillow and shoved my face back into it. Such a good dream. I haven't had a good one in a week probably. Maybe a little more then a week actually. It felt so good. I longed to taste the cotton candy again and see the exploding fireworks.
I turned over again and looked up at the ceiling. I was glad to be back in my own room. It had felt so awkward in Slade's room last night. Strangely though, at the end of the visit, I hadn't felt awkward, only calm and relaxed as though there was nothing to worry about. The tense feeling I had had the whole week was gone and even now I couldn't feel it. The door slid open and I lifted my head to see Wintergreen striding in with my breakfast. The smell filled my nose and I sat up right in my bed.
"Sleep well?" Wintergreen inquired as he set the tray down and lifted the cover.
As the smell of a ham, bacon, and cheese omelet filled my nose, I answered, "Yeah, actually, I did. Thanks."
"You're welcome," he said, walking over to the dresser, "You'll need to dress in your martial arts uniform, today."
"What... is he having me... do?" I asked between bites. I was ravenous because I hadn't felt like eating much yesterday.
"The normal."
Wintergreen pulled out my black martial arts uniform and set it on the dresser. After, he left and I finished my breakfast, I got dressed and stretched a bit. There was a feeling in me that said the fight I was going to give Slade would give him a go for his money. I felt like I had a boundless energy and was ready for anything.
When Wintergreen came back I was ready to go and only needed a quick trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I looked up at my reflection, I blinked a few times. I didn't look at myself often. I looked at the uniform and Slade's uniform, but seeing myself in it... I never really did stop to look at it. It was my face, my body, the uniform. It felt odd to look at myself and not find it extremely repulsive. I felt a tinge of strangeness, yet the uniform was what I had been wearing for the past week or more so it wasn't the shock that it had first been. Again, I was calm. I didn't feel like punching the mirror to get rid of the reflection. Even if I did, it would shatter into many more mirrors and many more 'me's' would stare back wearing the same orange and black uniform. I'd make do with what I had. At least now I was sleeping all right (or I hoped that it would continue anyway).
I went out with Wintergreen and we went to the main room as usual. Slade was waiting for me. Unlike most days where I felt that he was flaunting the fact that I was his apprentice, I surprisingly felt that there was something in his eye that made him refreshed and ready to go. I was in the mood for a good fight today too. It isn't that I was pumped up for training or excited about it. I only felt like this was going to be a good day, or better than it had been and I needed that.
"You seem ready for a fight or two, Robin," Slade noted, "Craving a little adrenaline?"
"No, I'm craving to release a bit of energy," I snapped back.
Slade chuckled for a minute, "Well, let's see if a one-on-one training session would help you release your energy."
We began. As I trained, I found that my energy didn't diminish. The adrenaline came of course. I became numb in my sore muscles. Slade pushed me and told me what to do. I doubted some of it and voiced that. But then tried and succeeded more often than not. Slade hinted small praises for my work and noted that I was giving an extraordinary amount of effort. I didn't think it was effort, but said nothing. During dinner, I felt more lively then normal and finished my food in half the normal time.
Bed? Sleep? I felt more lively then I had in so long, I could have jumped on my bed for hours. Then I was out like a log. I would have been surprised if I had made a sound. Sweet dreams entered my mind as I slept. But whatever they were, I forgot them. The only thing I could recall was the distant sound of what I thought was a swing, but I couldn't remember.
I woke up the next day with not as much energy. But that wasn't a downside. It was the normal amount that you should wake up with. I laid in my bed contemplating yesterday and the day before. For the first time, I had felt alive in this place. I had so much energy. The weight of the world gone. The pressure of saving the city gone. The only pressure was doing well in training and I had done fine.
That didn't make sense. I was Slade's captive or 'apprentice' as he called me. I shouldn't feel alive here. But I liked the feeling and I didn't want it to leave. The feeling of being alive made it easier to get through the day. The feeling made me feel like I could do something. The feeling gave me hope. Why? If I could live, I could endure what Slade threw at me.
Had Slade somehow with the night before's conversation made me feel that way? It was like a parent's soothing wisdom that they gave their child. Oh man, that's a scary thought, a very scary thought. Maybe it was more like a coach telling their team those 'inspirational speeches'. Yeah, that was it. Or was I lying to myself because I didn't want to admit that Slade had been able to offer advice that had sounded logical and comforting? I wanted to deny that. But somehow I couldn't. It was true that Slade had been able to do that.
How often had I compared Slade and Bruce? I felt a pang of guilt. Too many times. I shouldn't have to ask that question because I should never have compared the two. So why couldn't I help it? Probably because they were so similar, just as Slade and I were. That angered me still, but I had to admit that it was true. Wintergreen came in and I sat up to eat my breakfast.
"Anything new today?" I asked.
"He didn't say," I guess I was thinking too much to worry or mind.
I did the normal. I got dressed in the uniform Slade had given me the first day and then Wintergreen and I started for the training room. Although this time, he veered off to the left instead of the right. I raised a brow, but followed without comment. Slade had taken me into other rooms before, so I didn't find it odd that Wintergreen would. The room we entered was large, dark and quiet. Nothing very different from the main room to be honest. But... quiet. It was never quiet in the main room. It was also cold and dry in the room. Then I realized that there weren't any gears in the room and that was why. Wintergreen left the room and I heard the door click and lock. Something didn't feel right.
"Robin, how'd you sleep?" Slade asked me as he stepped out of the shadows behind me.
I turned and relaxed, my previous worry basically gone, "I slept fine."
"That's good," I nodded in response as Slade walked passed me, "Then I'm assuming that you have a lot of energy for today as well."
"Well, I'm able to train today if that's what you're asking."
"Good," There was something in his eye that let me know that he was smiling about the fact that I could.
"So what are am I doing today? Robots, combat, hacking...?" I asked trying to break the silence. I had gotten so used to the gears cranking away in the main room that it felt way too quiet without conversation, eerily so.
"No," Slade came back up to me, "We'll be doing something different today. It's not that much of a challenge. All you will need is patience for it."
I felt Slade push my back and direct me to a side of the room where a door was located. Slade opened the door and waved for me to go on. Inside were spiral stairs leading upward. I started the climb with Slade behind me. The climb made me dizzy and made me think that the stairs would never stop. At the top of the steps was a locked door. Slade moved passed me to open the door. Well, I thought he was, but then he stood to the side and waited. He had only unlocked it.
"Go on, apprentice," he said, meaning for me to open the door.
My dizziness gone, I opened the door. As I walked forward, I found that the ground just stopped. It just stopped. It was a ledge. I was on a ledge. I backed up and found myself against Slade's chest. He was standing with his arms locked behind his back. I gazed over the side of the ledge and saw the room we had been in before was one and the same. It was a tall room for that matter. How high up it went, I didn't know.
"Uh, we're on ledge," I said as Slade had said nothing and I still didn't like the silence in this room.
"Exactly," Slade pushed a button and a circular skylight was revealed above. The light was artificial and only gave only the necessary amount of bright light to see clearly. I felt my eyes widen as I saw in front of me was another ledge. Between the two ledges was a rope. One sturdy rope.
A tightrope.
"You, Robin, will be working on patience and balance today," Slade said, putting his left hand on my shoulder as he gestured to the tightrope with his right.
"Huh?" I managed.
"I'll be downstairs and giving out commands to you," Slade took his hand away, got ready to turn around and head down the stairs when I turned around. No. There was... I couldn't.
"Slade," he looked back at me, "I can't do this."
I was afraid of what he'd say. I knew that I must have sounded like some kind of moron, but I really didn't want to do this. It wasn't the height and it wasn't that I physically could not go out on that rope. It was more closely related to the fact that there was nothing to focus on other then the tightrope. I just couldn't do it though. My mind could wonder (and probably would).
"Excuse me?" There was the slight danger in his voice that I now easily recognized.
I gulped and repeated, "I can't... do this."
"Robin, I think that you can do this. It's a simple tightrope," Simple was the problem; and hearing the word "tightrope"! My parents had thought that their ropes were sturdy and tight. They were wrong.
"No, I really can't, Slade," I said, withy desperation in my voice that I didn't try to hide.
"You run and jump off rooftops, fight robots, swing around cities to get to places, I think you can do this." Slade replied softly.
He turned to go, but I grabbed his arm, and continued to plead, "I can't."
His one lone eye gazed back at me, he was angry and annoyed. As he spoke he removed my hand from his arm and squeezed my wrist. It was to the point that I could feel my blood flow being cut up and a prickling numbness spread into my fingers and then my hand, "I believe I told you that you would do this, apprentice. I expect you to do so."
"You'll have to push me off!" I screamed, trying to make a point that would make Slade realize that I was set on not doing this. Then I realized how stupid a comment that was. It got him even more angry.
"No, I will be downstairs telling you what to do, Robin," He got his face close up and into mine. Whispering in my ear through the cold grated mask he told me, "And I wouldn't want to have to pull a trigger to do it."
I somehow nodded, my eyes shut tight. He released my hand and I felt the blood rush back. I saw Slade open the door and close it. I reached for the door handle. It was locked. I was acting silly. I was acting like a little child. I shouldn't be worried about it. There wasn't going to be anything bad happening on that rope. I practiced on the balance beam in the Titans' Tower gym and the Batcave all of the time. It was just a tightrope that was a little higher up. It was going to be fine. Slade was right; I've run and jumped off of rooftops. I could do this. I could do this. That's what I told myself anyway. I heard Slade enter the room below. I kneeled down and peeked over the side to see him.
"Apprentice, I want you to walk out to the center of the rope and just stand there. And if I see your arms go all the way out, I'll break them!" his voice boomed.
I nodded and looked out at the tightrope. I got up and could feel my legs wanting to shake, but I stopped them immediately. So what if I couldn't go fast as I had wanted? The first step though was the one that I didn't mind if it went slow. So I did. Step. I heard the rope creak slightly under my weight and I felt it dip down slightly. Step. It wobbled and I put out my arms only to bring them back in quickly before Slade got mad (or more irritated then he already was). Step. I felt like kicking myself for agreeing to do this as I started out. Step. I heard the rope's every creak and the rope's threads twitch. Step. I breathed in and out, keeping my cool. Step. I could do this. Step. I could do this. Step. I could... Step. I looked up to make myself feel like I was actually on the ground instead of somewhere between two or three stories above it.
"Well, done apprentice, you've made it a quarter of the way across," Slade's sarcastic remark was accompanied by a couple claps for emphasis.
I began to look back at the rope only to see more colors then the black that was the sole color that the room was painted. It was like seeing the skylight become the top of a circus tent and everything around it changed colors to a dark and light purple. I heard cheers, claps and joyful laughter. I heard ropes swing and dip backwards again. I blinked and came back to reality.
"Robin, this exercise is to test your patience, not mine," I looked down quickly and nodded. I blinked several times, every other accompanied by one image or another. One was Slade down below getting angry. The other was a circular ring with an orange star in the middle of a blue circle. I nodded, knowing that it was really Slade down below. I kept walking.
Step. I squinted and felt my heart pound. Step. The rope hit the soles of my shoes and I could feel it crease into my feet. Step. I felt the light above and for some reason it felt much hotter then it had been when I entered. Step. I saw the ledge and the rope. Step. I heard the roar of the crowd below. Step. I heard the sound of the rope and its all too familiar creak. Step. I was back in Slade's lair. Step. I was almost half way across. Step. Their voices...
"Excellent job, Mary!"
"You too, John!"
"Well done, Robin!"
I closed my eyes tight. When I opened, there was nothing but the Haunt. 'There's nothing here but Slade and the Haunt. There's nothing here but Slade and the Haunt. You're seeing things.'
Step.
I opened my eyes. Just the haunt. Just the haunt. I was fine.
Step.
I heard the unwinding of ropes; a sizzling sound. Step. I glanced in front of me. The ledge was farther out. The purple colors coming down from the big top. Two figures, a man and a woman swung across, grabbed hold of one another. Then, a sharp...
SNAP!
Screaming.
Two thumps on the ground.
Nothing.
I felt my breath get caught in my throat. I couldn't breathe. I was shaking.
"Robin! I said get across the rope or I'll make it a little more interesting!" Slade's voice boomed.
I shook my head which inside was screaming, screeching 'NO!'. I couldn't do this, "Robin?"
Step. I was having trouble distinguishing past from present. Step. They were gone. Step. More lives were on the line. Step. The sizzle of acid, in front of me? I stopped dead. I was in the big top. Mr. Haly below was shocked; no one else was looking up at me. The rope was breaking, going to snap. I lost my balance, and fell off to the left. I fell and didn't notice. I looked up at the rope. It was still in one piece and not at all in danger.
But I was. I was falling to the ground, fast.
I felt myself come into contact with something. Opening my masked eyes, the big top was gone. Above was the skylight. My heart pounded hard in my chest. I was alive. I was breathing, though it was ragged and restrained. My throat was dry and constricted. It was though the oxygen in the room was thin. I was numb. I couldn't feel anything; not even the soles of my feet that I saw on the floor in front of me. I was still.
The numbness receded. It prickled itself away causing pain in every part of my body. My heart being the first to feel its beat that hurt my chest and my fingers, toes, and ears to be the last to feel anything. My chest warmed and I could feel again. My bones didn't feel broken, just shaken up. I realized that I wasn't lying on the ground like I'd thought. My fall had been broken. I hadn't landed on the ground. I had landed half way into someone's arms and that someone had broken my fall like one would if you had to fall of a rock wall. I looked up to see the only other person in the room. Slade. The mask loomed at me. The one eye stared at me. I shook my head and didn't bother trying to determine his mood by the look in his eye.
"No," My voice cracked and was high-pitched. That didn't happen all to often anymore. I somehow found my feet and started running.
"Robin!" Slade yelled after me. He didn't know what was wrong and I didn't want him to know either.
I reached a door and forced it open. I had to get away. Another hallway like two nights before. I kept running. I flung open another door and found myself in the main room. I went across the room and started climbing the gears. Up and up and up. I dodged the twisting gears. I ran under the pipes.
I finally found a small corner that was safe and unnoticeable where I collapsed and tried to catch my breath. As I did, I started to choke. I felt my head begin to ache and my body give off violent shudders. I crawled into a ball on the floor. I could hear the sirens of the ambulances that could do nothing. I heard the police talk casually like this sort of thing happened all of the time. I opened my eyes. My gut felt like it was empty. My rib cage barely moved. The armor on me dissipated into the air and I felt like I was wearing the first uniform I ever wore. The one that said to everyone I met that I was a "Flying Grayson".
I didn't want to go there right now. I didn't want to have a breakdown. Then again, I already was. 'That had happened years ago,' I told myself, 'I hadn't even met the Titans. I hadn't even met Bruce. It had been my first time in Gotham.'
I was across the continent right now in Jump City, yet I could feel every sting of pain that the loss had brought. I remembered feeling the sawdust under my feet as I had run out to their bodies, lifeless and motionless on the ground. I kneeled down beside them and begged them to wake up. I begged with all of my heart that I could see my mother's blue eyes flash brilliantly and my father's laughter echo in my ears. I wanted him to throw me up in the air and catch me while I giggled. I wanted my mother to hug me tightly and kiss my forehead.
I wanted to hear my father yell, "Richard, dinner!"
And when I wouldn't come because I knew my mother was steaming broccoli, Mom would yell, "Come on, Robin! I'll give you extra dessert if you finish everything on your plate!"
I wanted to see my father smile as I performed a new trick on the high wire. I wanted for my mother to laugh at the joke that I had gotten from one of the clowns. In my mind I could see them getting up, grabbing me and holding me tightly. They would coo to me that it was only a few broken bones. They'd say that they were going to be fine and they would be ready to go to Metropolis again in a few weeks. That never happened.
I wanted so much for them to wake up in only the way that a child could.
I cried. I sobbed. I held my mother and father's hands in my own small ones. I was a child without my parents. I felt so alone. Not even Mr. Haly could give me back my parents. No one could and no one had dared say a thing for a long time because they knew they couldn't. My eyes became red and puffy while my voice soon grew weak and I was so tired I felt like lying down beside them.
I had called over and over again between sobs, "Mom, Dad, please... please, please wake up. Please..."
I remember Commissioner Gordon walk up and tell me that I had to come with him. I shook my head. I didn't want to leave as though if I didn't stay they wouldn't wake up. But I went. I practically dehydrated myself from crying. I was sick for at least a week after that had happened. It had been as though a part of my heart and soul had been viciously ripped out. It was a feeling that made me feel as though I would cry myself to sleep every night forever more. Mary and John Grayson, my mother and father were dead. Deceased. Gone. And I was alone. I was stuck in this world of so many trials and so many colors, which were so often blended into a confusing swirl of gray. I was stained with a wound that would never heal. I was weak and felt like my life was nothing.
Then there came Bruce. He had seen it happen. He had seen it happen, twice. Another couple had also died unnecessarily in front of him and their names were Thomas and Martha Wayne. He was eight the last time and they were his parents. This time he was thirty or so. I cried so much in the months that followed.
But I trained, too.
I trained, fueling my anger into a fight against criminality. I swore to protect the innocent and that I wouldn't kill. I swore to be a defender of the law. I swore to bring in the most slippery of criminals to court and have them convicted. I swore it all. I swore it all and made a promise. A promise to not only others, but to Bruce, to the legendary Dark Knight that was the Batman.
Batman showed me so many things. He taught me forensics. He taught me to use my agility and youth to my advantage. He taught me to plan attacks. He taught me everything. Well, no. Batman taught me a lot, but it was Bruce that was always there. It was Bruce who could take off my mask and wipe my eyes of their tears from the hurt and anger in my soul. As the months passed, I could almost feel my parents' spirits around me telling me that they wanted me to grow up and be a happy boy and man in my life. To live life and love others. Some say that there is love and unconditional love. My parents loved me with both types of love and wanted me to love others the same way.
I missed them and I always would, but Bruce eased my pain. I was grateful -- very grateful. He showed me the wisdom that he had gained from his experience. He told me that there is good and there is evil in the world. His crusade, what he had put his persona into, was because pain is cruel and he didn't want anyone else to suffer as he did. If he had known about Boss Zucco and his plan to spill the acid on my parents' ropes, he would have done everything in his power to stop it. I wished to join him, and I did.
I knew how grateful my parents would have been that Bruce took me in and helped me during that time. I don't mean to disgrace my father's name when I say this, but Bruce became like another father. He would never replace the spot in my heart for my parents, but he was there. He was like my parent's best friend even though they had never met him. While the cowl of Batman covered his face many times and he looked at me with expectations, I could tell that he cared. I could tell when he was proud of me. And often times when I sought out his approval, he was.
I felt sick now. When I moved to Jump, I joined the Titans. I hadn't realized then how precious my friends were to me as Bruce and Alfred were. It was the love that my parents had wanted me to have. But somewhere along the line, being away from Bruce and isolating myself from my friends, I got lost into the swirl of gray again. Things became confused and confounded. And then Slade. He only made it worse.
I realized now that I was also crying. The tears were running out from under my mask and down my cheeks. My eyes were probably red by now and I choked on my sobs.
What had I gotten myself into?
At that moment, I saw everything. The adrenaline; it was a deceiving trick or distraction. It withheld my senses from seeing the truth. Slade's words always seemed captivating and true. But that was because his morals sprang from small bits of truth that he manipulated and twisted into lies. They were mingled with truth to make them sound right. Perhaps that was the hardest part about what he said: Sifting through and finding the truth, if any. What he truly believed and what was just said to manipulate me.
Bruce was always withholding emotions, seeing them as weakness, but in reality they drove him and myself and all heroes. I had a love for not only those around me, but citizens, people who I saw in the park, those I laughed with, street venders selling hotdogs, the business man going to work, and the little girl playing in her mother's kitchen.
Slade taunted me by blindfolding me into thinking more about the rush of adrenaline. That wasn't why I fought. It wasn't why at all. The obsession, the rush, it all was like binding ropes trying to corrupt the power that I had been given because of my pain. It was okay to want to protect others. It was okay to enjoy the feeling of a rescue. Those things were fine.
But Slade, what he was doing to me... I found fiery anger erupt. There was nothing that could excuse him for what he has done. No matter how much he would try to whisper in my ear that criminality is where I belonged, I would have to fight him. I had felt alive the past two days, but it was the trick of adrenaline and the feeling that I belonged again because of words that mixed in truth with lies. I didn't think that everything he said was a lie. The night in his room, I think he was right about nightmares. There were times that I thought he was right about some things. I don't mean to say everything he says is a lie. But still, I would fight him. His lies he had to live up to, his evil intentions couldn't go ignored. No matter how long or how many losses that would start to add up, I would beat him one day.
There is always going to be the greater good. Right now, I would have to work for Slade for that good. But not forever. I wouldn't let it be forever. I fought for my friends, my family, and the innocent. I did not fight for Slade and his criminal causes. One day I would be able to tell them that. I'd make sure of it.
I could still feel the tears running down the sides of my face. I was lying on my back. I wanted so badly now to see the Titans. I wanted to watch Beast Boy crack a joke at his new videogame, see Cyborg wax his car for the millionth time, hear Raven mutter 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos' as she meditated, sit with Starfire on the rooftop watching the star of my life gazing at the star of the world.
I shed two more tears as I felt my heart ache for that girl. I realized that it was like the love my father gave my mother. That's what they taught me, to love. I loved Starfire and it pained me to know I was the cause of the man-made germ inside her and all of the Titans. It hurt so much and I wished that I could tell her how much I loved her. It was a curse of a hero though, that love could make everything all the more dangerous. It already had. My heart felt like it was shattering, but at the same time mending. For some reason, I felt as though the arms of my parents were around me, holding me, hugging me, trying to help me calm down. All the while, silently I thought they were whispering in my ears, "It's okay, Robin. It's okay. You'll be okay, we promise."
'Mom, Dad, I promised you that I would protect others. And intend to keep that promise,' I thought. My tears suddenly came now as reassurance, 'Bruce, whatever you're doing in Gotham, thank you for drawing the line for me... Thank you.'
Silence. One minute of silence with only the moving gears to disrupt it. The tears slowed down. I felt my breathing return to normal. I sat up and looked around. I was probably in trouble, but I didn't care. As if simultaneous with my thoughts, I felt my bicep being grabbed as I was yanked to my feet. My red, masked eyes stared into Slade's one cold eye that was livid with fury.
"You've got a lot of explaining to do, young man."
"What...is...going...to...make...me?" I hissed back, knowing that he saw my tear-stained face.
I felt myself being thrown into the wall, "What did you say to me?"
"I said, what is going to make me?" I yelled back, getting up and ready to fight.
I saw Slade's eye narrow, "Do you realize the deep water you are getting yourself into, Robin?"
"Yeah, and I don't care!" I screamed, "I'm already in deep enough water and I'm able to swim just fine!"
With that Slade walked forward and straight at me. I moved back, but in a step found the wall. I batted Slade away, but he ended up grabbing my bicep again and proceeded to drag me down to the bottom of the main room. There, we fought. I let my anger drive me, even though I knew how stupid that was. I was losing badly, but I put up with it.
I lied on the ground. While struggling to get up on my knees, I felt my head being raised by the roots of my hair, "A quick apology for your behavior could end this fight, Robin."
I stared up at him directly in the eye, showing not an ounce of respect that Slade wanted, "No... way, Slade. No way."
I might have hit Slade a few times, but by the end of the day I was sore, bruised and barely able to stand. It wasn't as bad as the first day of training sore, but not as easy going sore that was from a normal training session either. Strangely enough, I didn't mind. It was for them and that was what mattered. The entire time, Slade had played the blindfolding trick of using words and adrenaline to confuse me. During the times when I was hurt and confused, I admit that sometimes I wanted to believe what he said. I sometimes wanted to give in. But I refused.
"I wouldn't let him control me."
I barely bothered to take off anything other than my shoes and armor that night before I fell asleep. Not a dream or nightmare disturbed me that night. I was calm because I knew I was being watched over and protected by my parents. They wanted me to fight and be strong and they would help give me the strength to do so. With the help of others like the Titans or Batman showing me the line didn't matter. They could help, but it was all up to me. All that mattered was that I tried to honor that oath that I swore.
I would not break that promise that I had made to so many. To my parents, to Bruce, to the Titans, and to everyone. I would not break it.
"To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life"
-Welcome To My Life, Simple Plan
-T-
A/N: Okay, if you cried, I'm not surprised. If you didn't, then I'm a sap. Please no flamers if you didn't like this chapter because you thought it was really sappy or something. I worked really hard on it because it's a big point in the story, okay? But yeah, again like the first training day, Slade does an almost total 360 on all of us. Why? Think about that quote of Marv's. He said that Slade is likable, but Terminator isn't. What an interesting sight to see the two sides of Slade collide. Something to think about. And I also want to say this: Slade doesn't know that something's particularly wrong with Robin or that Robin just had a mental breakdown. So why on earth would he go easy on him? And yes, these two chapters are BIG ONES, people. Pay close attention to them! Oh and of course, the last thing that helped this chapter was the original story line of what happened to Richard's parents by Bob Kane and Bill Finger in 1940.
Lastly, I said that this chapter is slightly based off of the song "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan. If you would like to see an Animated Music Video for the song with show clips from "Teen Titans" you can go to my homepage on Fan Fiction where I have a link to the site. I did not create that music video, though. I just watched it. It's actually a Robin Tribute and is done very nicely. So if you liked this chapter, you'll probably like the music video. Again, thank you to all of those who reviewed. Later!
Rena
PS. I've added links to my Fan Fiction homepage as well for other AMVs too!