The Truth

Chapter 1

A/N: Due to recent events, I dedicate this Chapter- no, this whole sequel, to John Seacrest. He was found dead either last night or this morning. They say that his heart just stopped beating. I personally regret that I never met him, but everyone knew who John Seacrest was, but many of my friends were close to him. I always did want to get to know him. I'm so sorry for those who lost a friend today. I know he had many friends. He seemed like a really awesome person. The kind that was very fun, and a good friend. I am so sorry. Things like that should not just happen to a 14 year old, especially one as loved as he was.

Kaoru POV

We are different. That's not hard to figure out. Haruhi-the-intruder did. But now... we're more different from before; to be specific, physically different. Hikaru remains just as pure inside and out as ever. I was scarred on the inside, and since recently, I've been marked on the outside as well. How does Hikaru do it? Is it just that I'm too deep? Think to much? How does Hikaru remain so naive and innocent? Does he feel all the madness and confusion that pushes me to the brink of insanity?

...Somewhere deep down, he must feel at least some of it.

Like a force we can't control, we're migrating apart. It perplexes me, and I have my suspitions he feels the same. However Hikaru, not one to dwell on things he can't comprehend, let's it fly by, while he continues to just go with the flow; a perfect example of typical Hikaru.

I, on the other hand, remain behind, stopping to mull over what he does not; reminicing on the past, assessing the present, attempting to predict the near future. Here is what I have concluded thus far: a bind still strongly connects us, but it's weakening more and more every day. It won't be long until it snaps, and I'll be the one to fall. What... will I do without him? How could I ever survive without him?

I stumble out of bed and desperately grasp the razor. That thought is much too unbearable.

I break through the bandages that were applied only minutes before. Heh... It hadn't even stopped bleeding from then. I'm doing this to often, I think. I swear, it's addicting! When Hikaru's not around, to much ails me, but when Hikaru is around, it's unbearable. Sometimes, I seriously almost wish for my own suicide; I wish the link would just snap already, because this dangling in between is absolute torture.

Haha! Maybe it's like a contest; let's see what can kill Kaoru first: the torture, the self mutilation, or the link-breaking? Winner gets not only a worthless, broken soul, but also the satisfaction of knowing that of all the things killing him through and through, you did the best and got it him first. Yay! Everyone will finally be able to tell us apart; Kaoru is the dead one, Hikaru is the live one.

Maybe he could finally be happy then. That's what we always wanted anyway, for people to tell us apart. Even if it does- no, did scare us a bit to think about it. Gosh, sometimes I just get the past confused with the present. Everything changed so quickly, it was hard to keep up with it. Anyway, I acually think it's more of me fantasizing then anything else. But it's only because it hurts so much to get close to him anymore. And even though it hurts, I still miss him when he's away.

Lately, It just seems that I've been addicted to pain in general. Pain when he is here, pain when he's not; there's never a time i'm not puting up with some type of inner tumoral. But when I think about it deeply, it actually hurts the most when he leaves.

He only leaves me alone because of Haruhi. It's proof of how far apart we've grown. He'd usually... at least, a while ago, wouldn't have left me if the building was collapsing with not enough time to get us both out. But now, he's being talked into leaving me alone by Haruhi?!

Haruhi, being 'ever so clever' as she is, sensed the malfunction in my attitude. Even when I played 'Happy Kao-Chan' in front of Hikaru, she wasn't dumb enough to believe the lies. I think she even knows, or suspects at least, about what scars my flesh. Seeing, with her ever so wonderful powers of all knowledge of everything, my disguised changes, she told Hikaru it might be good to get some space between us for a while. I know of this, because I was pretending to sleep when it happened.

She didn't even give a decent explanation of why she thought that before he accepted and was out the door! He probably did just cause he knew it meant more time with his precious Haruhi-baka. They're probably together right now. Every second that would have previously been spent here with me is now spent with the wench, or with the Host Club, which has Haruhi in it!!

That is the Truth.

Our link is quickly weakening.

That is the Truth.

Hikaru loves Haruhi.

That is the Truth.

I am alone. I am dying. Hikaru's never around. When we get bored with things, we drop them. That's the way it's always been. Hikaru has even less of an attention span than I do. He's gotten bored with me, and has dropped me for a new playmate.

That is the Truth.

I told you it's confusing. I told you it's painful. But hey, that's life, and the truth is, mine's about to run out. I'll make sure of it.

A/N: Like it? Yes, no? I wanna know... shh... it can be a secret... I won't tell Lumy... promise... just whisper it...

I'm bought tired of 'truths' now already, so I know y'all are.