The Truth

Chapter 3

A/N: In this chapter and the end of the last one, you notice Kaoru getting creepily happy while commiting suicide? Well, it's supposed to show just how insane he's gone. O.o And the 'jingle' I made up in like 1 minute... so it sucks, I know...

Kaoru POV

I wish for death

with one last sigh.

Without you here,

my death is nigh.

Pain has consumed...

don't you just wish me to die?

I'd do anything for you,

even stand here with a razor held high.

So, my love, say goodbye,

because my grave is the next place I sall lie.

Teehee... Hahaha! A little jingle I just made up in my head. It's nice to just happily hum to, don't you think?

'What about you, Hikaru? Do you like it?'

I fall to the ground hard. The thud of near-corpse like body falling was rather loud. Oopsy! I hadn't planned on falling over! But when your head's swirling from blood-loss and the world is spinning, I guess it can't be helped much.

Foot steps. Approaching close. Quickly.

Damn nurse.

Door open.

Exasperated sigh.

"You're too late, Miss Nursey-poo!" I taunt her, breathing heavily, speaking softly, "You can't throw the razor this time...haha!!" It started as a faint laugh, then quickly gave way to a coughing fit. I try to be a bit more serious with, "You can't save me now."

I almost smile in triumph. She's very quiet. Doesn't make a sound. Kao-chan wins! It won't be long now til...

A dry, quiet, shakey voice echoes through the room, breaking the silence.

"Not even if I'm your own twin?"

My eyes widen. What little breath I still had in my lungs gets blown out. That was most certainly not expected.

I'm suddenly confused... shouldn't he be with Haruhi?

As I often mistakenly do, I glance up to his face. He looks...scared. Hurt. Betrayed. But most of all, he looks frienghtened, like he's just realized his worst fear.

In that same shaken, unHikaru-like voice, "Y-You know...we came into his world...t-together...it wouldn't be fair... for one of us to... l-leave before the other..."

He falls to his knees with a splash... my blood is...?

That stupid nurse comes to the door, screams, then leaves, running down the hall, yelling at doctors. Heh, she'll probably get fired for not telling anyone about my actions before.

I groan, pulling my eyes away from his, but I still watch him from the corner of them. He... he's sobbing. My heart feels a sickening stab. Part of me aches to remain by his broken side forever... to pretend this never happened... and to live with the unhappiness of just watching him from afar. At least then, I'd still be with him, right?

No..no, no... The other side wishes... begs for the agonizingly slow proccess to quicken. I can't live like that anymore. Even if I somehow survive, he'll probably never want to look at me again. I'll probably make him sick to think about anymore. He's just caught up in the moment right now, is all. Yeah, that's it.

His eyes roam around my crumpled body, even though I can tell he hates what he sees and wants to stop. They slip from my face, to my blooded arms and the massive liquids spilling out, and then to the note. Dammit! I forgot about that! I again avert my eyes, but this time to stare down at my limp feet. I still watch him though. I never take my attention off him. Ever.

Hikaru reads the bloody words, then appears more shocked. His gaze wavers, he trembles much harder, and larger tears stream.

It rips my heart straight out. I'm causing him terrible pain. Why? Why am I causing his unbearable pain? No- Why was I so stupid?! I should have known...

I reach for the razor- I need to punish myself!! I need to bleed more! Bleed faster! I hurt Hikaru!!! I hurt...

I hate myself more than I ever have before. Hikaru is always the strong one. And now, because of me, he's having the biggest breakdown of his life! I feel like killing myself again, and again, and again...

My fingers move, but just bearly. My arms, though, I can't move them at all. I can't even feel them. He notices my out streched fingers, then what they're reaching for. He grabs the blade, then holds it tightly in his fist. I see blood, that is not my own, trickle down through his fingers.

I, myself, begin to bawl and mumble 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' over and over. He throws the razor aside, then leans close beside me as the doctors arrive. He then hooks his arms around me and lifts me to the bed the doctors brought out, and cradles me in it laying down together as they wheel us to the emergemcy room. He strokes my cheek with his bloody hand, and begins to mumble soothing words, coaxing my tears to dry, just like on that first night...

The last thing I hear is Hikaru arguing with the doctors about following me to surgery, then I black out.

A/N: Jeez, this chapter is really cheesey. It was supposed to be part of the last chapter, but I split it up, so one chappy may be way short, but I don't know.