This is my first attempt at pros writing and my very first Fic so I hope it holds up to expectation. I do not own any characters affiliated with ABC's hit show, Castle.

Shattered Haven

Tuesday 9 pm

At first he couldn't tell if the heat was surrounding him or just inside of him. Smoke and debris was swirling around him, clogging every molecule of air that he attempted to inhale. It was pitch black. Your eyes aren't open, dumb ass. Open your eyes! With an obscene amount of effort, he finally slit his eyes open enough to survey the scene that he lay desperately crumpled in. The bullpen that had once been a safe haven of flirtatious endeavors was now splattered around his mangled body. A piece of Beckett's desk was pinning his right leg and something was protruding from his thigh. His arms were both free and relatively unharmed, but they seemed to be reaching for something.

He was completely numb until the extent of his injuries started to register in his brain. The sudden sear of abnormal pain that swirled its way through every nerve in his body knocked the breath back out of him as he tried to regain control of his senses. The stench of consuming flames and fresh blood was slowly torturing its way up his nostrils and shifting his senses into overdrive. What happened? How long have I been out? It was eerily silently except for the obnoxiously incessant ringing that reverberated through his ears. Too silent.

"Ka-agghh!"

His first attempt at shouting her name was lost in a gargle of rampant pain that shot up through his abdomen. He stubbornly swallowed back the ripping pain that was now circling through every inch of his body and attempted to call out for her again, this time anticipating the throbbing repercussion.

"Kate!?" he managed to choke out before the sear of reality shoved him back into a mind numbing shock.

No answer. He then realized what his arms had been attempting to protect as he was thrown helplessly to the ground. Kate. She couldn't be that far from him but there was a ceiling beam, that can't be good, between him and whatever, whoever, was on the other side. Sucking in every ounce of unbearable agony and kicking his adrenaline into gear, Castle latched onto the beam and heaved himself into a sitting position to get a better view. No! Oh no! No…this can't be happening. His eyes darted around the scene before him as he tried to make sense of it and remember to breath. Kate Beckett was face down and not moving.

Her entrancing brown hair was splayed around her head in a mangled mess and thick with blood. Her left arm was completely twisted and flat on the ground. A bookshelf had missed her by a foot and was propped up by a pile of shattered furniture inches from her head. He couldn't tell if she was breathing but she certainly wasn't moving or responding.

Monday 10 am

Captain Montgomery thought himself a fair decent man. He prided himself in how hard he worked to become Captain. He also understood that detectives could sometimes be very fragile despite the hard exterior they all shrugged on like a jacket while on the job. It was extra protection from the world of criminals and murderers that they submersed themselves in on a daily basis. But his detectives were human and that exterior could be snatched from them and shattered in the blink of an eye. Sometimes the damage was just beyond repair and they were no longer stable enough to do their job without bias inflicting their judgments. Sometimes they could no longer handle being a detective.

He only personally knew one detective whose life had been shattered in such a manner, but despite the odds, was able to pick up the pieces and become one of the best detectives in his district. Kate Beckett was one of the strongest people he knew. One of the smartest too. Unfortunately, Detective Beth O'Neil was not Kate Beckett. Beth's husband and two small sons had recently been fatal victims of a misplaced car bomb. The intended target had parked in the wrong spot and the hit man didn't get the updated location in time. Unfortunately for Mike O'neil and his sons, the mark had the same make and model as him and the hit man didn't notice the different license plate until it was too late. Beckett and her boys tracked down the hit man and put him behind bars for life, but he refused to talk so the contractor still remained at large and they were running out of leads.

Montgomery had given her leave to grieve and put the shambles of her life in order but she was making no progress. This wouldn't have been a problem if Beth had stayed on leave. She showed up that morning "ready" to work and had already managed to lose her head in two interrogations and was later found hiding in the corner of the break room curled up in the fetal position hyperventilating. He had no other option but to retract her badge and gun indefinitely unless she agreed to leave quietly until he decided she was ready. He hated that he had to bring it this far, but something had to be done before someone else got hurt. He hoped she would take his offer to temporarily leave quietly but deep down he knew it would come to this. Sometimes an explosion of the heart leaves everyone in its wake vulnerable beyond the point of mending.

There was a soft rap on the door as it slowly opened revealing detective O'neil sheepishly lingering in the doorway. Her small muscular frame had wilted to a ghost of what she once was. Her brown eyes had sunken in and were bloodshot from the endless stream of tears that she should have run out of by now. And her dirty blond hair was thrown up into a disheveled ponytail instead of the usual tidy bun.

"Come in, detective. I was just finishing up some paperwork. Have a seat, we need to talk."

Beth sauntered in trying to hold her chin up high as her shoulders slumped under the weight of her grief. She was avoiding eye contact with the Captain because any suggestion of condolences would set her into another fit of waterworks and she had enough embarrassment for one day. She sank into the nearest chair and sat up feigning resilience. Her eyes slowly wandered around the Captains office, pausing on the sunlight that was breaking through the blinds as if it were mocking her, and finally meeting the brown caring eyes that were patiently waiting for her attention.

"How are you holding up, O'neil? I heard you had a bit of a rough day."

Her eyes immediately fell to her lap as her fake resilience faltered. All the words she wanted to say to make him understand were stuck in her throat and her heart was plummeting with every failed attempt at speech. Why did he have to bring that up? Why couldn't he just let her move on?

"I'm fine, boss. I'm sorry about that earlier. I just had a momentary slip up. It wont happen again."

"No. It won't."

The captain's words jolted her heart into overdrive and the reality of the situation sunk in.

"Sir?"

"Beth, you are a great detective, and I have been proud to have you on my force these past 5 years, but you are obviously not ready to come back yet. I don't care how ready you think you are. You are still being blinded by the tragedy in your own life, and no one blames you for that. No one here thinks less of you because you need more time. But, Beth, you need to take that time. If you don't take my orders and stay home until I clear you for duty again I'm going to have to ask for your badge and gun."

Beth didn't know how to respond. She couldn't go back home. She no longer had a home. She had an empty house full of taunting memories. This job was all she had left. The only family she had left. Montgomery didn't get it; he didn't understand that she needed to be here because the alternative was unthinkable.

"Sir, I…I need this. I'm ok. I promise I got it all out of my system. Please don't make me go back there. I can't handle this alone."

The tears that she had been desperately trying to dam were now silently rolling down her rosy cheeks. Montgomery could feel the tension that lingered in the space between them. She wasn't going to make this easy. He leaned forward in his seat and folded his hands in front of him.

"Beth, I'm going to have to ask for your badge and gun. As of now you are no longer a detective of the 12th precinct. I'm really sorry it has come to this but I have no other choice."

Pleading desperation strangled the last bit of dignity wavering in her voice.

"You do have a choice! Just give me one more chance! I have nothing else. This precinct is the only part of me that is still alive."

As those last words fell out of Beth O'neil's mouth the truth of the statement and the fact that she now no longer even had that ripped a new hole in her shattered heart. Her hands were shaking with an equal mixture of fear and anger as she slowly placed her badge and gun on the desk before Captain Montgomery. She was on the verge of another massive breakdown and she knew it. Before Montgomery could say another word she pivoted and slipped out the door at a half sprint.

Tuesday 9:20 pm

Rick knew that he needed to somehow get to Kate to wake her up, she can't be dead, she's not allowed to be dead. His leg was still pinned under her upturned desk and he wasn't sure if it was completely broken. The foreign object that was sticking in his right thigh hurt like a bitch, but he knew that if he pulled it out he would just bleed more and he was already loosing too much blood. He grabbed hold of his pants and slowly pulled himself forward toward his pinned leg. This movement shot a ricocheting pain up through his chest that he tried to ignore. Focus, Rick. Kate needs you. You can't quit now because of a little pain. Once he was close enough, he grabbed a bar from the pile of wreckage next to him and started prying the desk off of him. Each attempted lift took everything out of him and he was slowly starting to fade out. Everything around him was getting fuzzy and his eyelids weighed a ton. With one final adrenaline induced heave he lifted the desk just enough to yank his leg out before it crashed back to the ground.

He took one last breath before the exertion took hold of his body and blackness started to surround him. Fighting off the black, Rick turned back towards Kate and started crawling over the beam. He hoisted his torso up on it and then reached back to pull his leg over but his body was going into shock. He couldn't fight his eyelids anymore and they cascaded down over his exhausted blue eyes. Everything went white and images of Alexis, his mother, and Kate started to swirl around him as he tried to reach out and hold them tight.

"It will be ok. I'm here. I'll protect you." He softly murmured as he was pulled back into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

Mid Terms are upon me so the next chapter might not be up until next week. Stay tuned!