"Evanesco, part ii": In which Stork and Junko are drawn into Irksome Interactions with the Natives.
(Huh. This was only going to be a one-shot, but it grew, thanks to the love of Amethyst and The SPAZtastic Lawlrus.)
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In retrospect, this splitting up might not have been the wisest choice.
"Hey Stork," Junko called to his lanky crewmate who was examining the sturdy, yet crumbly outer wall of the labyrinth. "What do you think all these pretty sparkly lights are?"
Stork whirled around in time to see the Wallop's arm reaching out to… "Wait! Don't touch it!"
His warning was too late. "Ahhh, look! It's just a litl' tiny thing!"
The green-tinged Merb scurried to his friend's side. Or more precisely, to his back, lurking behind Junko and just peeping over his shoulder to peer at this discovery. "You shouldn't hold it like that!" he scolded. "It looks like an Armenian Winged Tapeworm…or it could be a Flying Gascarian Biped…I hear that just a drop of their venom is enough to liquefy a full-grown Raptor in less than ten minutes!"
"Aw shucks, don't worry Stork! It's so teeny tiny and cute! It wouldn't hurt…oh! See see!" Junko smiled at the fairy perched on his hand. "It likes me! It's giving me kisses…and they tickle!" For, indeed, the fairy did seem to be affixing its mouth…and teeth…to the thick tough skin of Junko's thumb.
"Kisses?! It's worse than I thought," shivered Stork. "It must be a Loose-Lipped Laputian- quick! Throw it away before the madness spreads!" Stork cringed back but flailed an arm blindly in its direction, managing to swat the creature with surprising force and knock it away (despite its teeth still sunken into Junko's finger).
The wee airborne fairy arched up high until…SMACK!
"Hey! What'dya go and do a thing like that for?" A stubby goblin, hardly discernible from the rocky labyrinth wall thanks to his craggy face and dusty clothes had just walked around the corner. "There're enough of these darned things around without having to dodge 'em when idiots start throwin' them!"
"Sorry!" Junko waved sheepishly.
Reorienting itself, the fairy, now glowing a fierce red, flew furiously back at Junko and attacked his finger again.
"Aw look! It REALLY likes me!"
Stork groaned and hid his face in his hands. Definitely not the wisest choice.
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Picking their way over the branches that littered the walkway, Stork's fingers nervously tapped as he grumped to himself under his breath but still loud enough for his companions to overhear. "With the entrance closed and inaccessible from this side, we'll be doomed to wind our way helplessly through the dark and twisted pathways…forever. Nothing to look forward to but a goblin horde armed to the teeth, the Forest of Darkness and worst of all…" he stared darkly out from behind a curtain of hair "…the Bog of Never-Ending Putrescence!"
Hoggle turned his head. "Actually, it's da Bog of Eternal Stench."
Stork raised a dismissive brow, but didn't stop the constant turning of his head to check behind the group in case the rare Gandan Toothed Walkers crept up behind. "No, I am certain my sources are correct in telling me it's called the Bog of Never-Ending Putrescence."
"Bog of Eternal Stench." Hoggle didn't miss a beat.
"It's CALLED the Bog of Never-Ending Putrescence."
"Eternal stench."
Stork had actually stopped twitching his fingers and clenched them into fists. "Never-Ending Putrescence."
Hoggle finally stopped in the middle of the passage, incredulous. "It's a bog tha' smells worse than anything you've ever smelled and if you touch it, you'll smell bad for the rest o' your life. WHAT does it MATTER what it's CALLED?!"
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The great shaggy orange-furred beast grinned toothily down at them. "Junko! Junko fwend!"
Stork grumpily crossed his arms. "Oh great. Another pitiful, local yahoo has latched itself onto us. Junko!" he snapped. "That thing will never fit in my ship; you are not keeping it!"
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This is dedicated to Scott McNeil; may he forever grace us with the voices of awesome characters like Rattrap, Duo Maxwell and Stork!
If I told you it was my birthday today, would you leave me reviews as presents? ^_^