A/N: Sooooo, how his everyone? haha I see I have no reviews. This parody must be working then. A rather short chapter, I guess.
Again, not meant to offend, just meant to bring some humor to the table.

Disclaimer: I don't anything. Except maybe myself.

Chapter 2: Beer!

Mulder lead Scully by the hand up to his apartment. They took the stairs because he was just too horny to wait for the elevator.

"Mulder can you please just take me home!" Scully whined. She ripped her hand out of his and stopped to stare at him angrily like women do when they are angry at men. Women are scary.

"You're very scary when you make that face. Stop it." Mulder squeaked.

"I just want to go home and watch TV. I heard there was a documentary on about Chimps in space. IN SPACE Mulder." She argued.

"Why don't we watch it in my apartment... together... under a nice warm blanket... with some refreshing drinks and-"

"Drinks?! I've been dying for a drink all day!" Scully said excitedly.

Mulder nodded, "Yeah I have a couple of bottles of beer in the fridge, you want one?"
"DO I!" Scully exclaimed, pushing past him, shoving him into the wall and running to his apartment door. She jumped up and down like a little puppy waiting to go outside to do its business. What? My dog used to do it? Didn't yours?

Mulder gave himself a mental high five as he thought; Scully is so easy...to please.

Once inside, Scully ran all around the apartment and jumped up onto the furniture like an over hyper child with ADD.

Mulder came into the living room holding two Sippy cups. Both had those lids with the cool dinosaur design on them and every kid would be jealous.

"I don't need those anymore; I'm a big girl now! I HAFTA PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Scully yelled, running to the washroom.

***

It was nearly 3am when Scully decided it was time to puke. All over Mulder's bathroom. It was everywhere. EVERYWHERE DAMNIT. Mulder was the unfortunate one to clean it up.

"Well I think it's time for me to go home!" Scully belched, slurring her words.
"You can't drive! Not when you're drunk!" Mulder protested, scrubbing the ceiling with Mr. Clean. You thought I was joking when I said everywhere didn't you?

"But... I didn't drivehere! Youdid! I'lljust takeataxi!"

"No no, Scully you drove here. I remember. I'd feel a lot better if you stayed the night." Mulder pleaded, his eyes glittering like jewels. Wait...what.
DID I JUST WRITE THAT? WOW I'M SO COOL... NOT!

"Wellokaaaaaaay." She complied. "But no naughty shtufffffffffffff."

"I promise." Mulder lied. That bastard. HE LIED TO HER. HE LIED TO THE ONLY WOMAN HE COULD EVER TRUST AND LOVE. HONESTLY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! YOU DICK. Anyways...

***

Scully wondered where the hell she was going to sleep, until Mulder opened his bedroom door to reveal suddenly that ALL THE JUNK THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE WAS MAGICALLY GONE!

"Mulder, when did you get rid of all your junk?" She asked, suddenly a little more sober than before since she had stopped slurring her words, of course.

"I... I actually don't know. Yesterday it was all here. But now there is this bed in here. And it's not even the water bed from season six!" Mulder was confused all of a sudden.

Suddenly Kate showed up out of nowhere and said, "FUCK YOU GUYS ARE DUMB. THIS IS A FANFICTION. SHIT HAPPENS FOR NO APPARENT REASON IN FANFICTION. THUS, A BED HAS MAGICALLY APPEARED FOR YOU TWO TO GET IT ON OKAY?" the constant caps lock got the point across to Mulder, but Scully had forgotten why she was even at Mulder's already.

Kate disappeared, and no one really questioned it. Not even Mulder, which is very OOC of him but whatever. This is a parody. That's what's supposed to happen. DUH!

"So where were we?" David Duchuvny asked Kate as he took her by the hand and led her to his romantic bedroom. There were Rose petals all aro- OOPS WRONG STORY.

"So where were we?" Mulder asked Scully as he led her into the new bedroom. She stumbled as he pulled her along to the bed.

"Something something something. Sleep!" She muttered sleepily as she slipped out of her dress and heels and put on one of Mulder's t-shirts.

Mulder blushed and looked away, but peaked at her anyways. "Alright sleepy muffin cakes you sleep it off and hopefully by morning you'll have gotten up and wanted to do the dirty."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"No really what did you call me?"

"Sleepy Muffin Cakes?"

Scully gave him the look. You know that Scully look that she gives people when they're talking about something really stupid? Yeah, that one. Mulder frowned.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?!"

"The look!"

"What look?"

"The look you get sometimes!"

"Okay... wait what look?"

"Oh never mind." Mulder sighed, rolling his eyes and tucking her in. He lied down beside her.

"Scul-leigh!" He whispered.

"What. What do you want?" she asked annoyed.

"I want to let you know something."

"Okay. Shoot."

"I want to let you know, that there's only one woman in this entire universe for me."

"That's nice, who would that be?"

Mulder hesitated. He was nervous. He wanted her to know his EXACT feelings for her. But before he could tell her, she was already dead asleep. Mulder groaned, rolled over and fell asleep.