A/N: Ohay. It's been awhile my loyal followers, I MEAN. Friends. FRIEEEEEENDS. anywho! enjoy the second last chapter of this shitty fic.

Remember: I don't own much of the shit in this fic. okay. and it aint meant to piss y'all off. LOL

Chapter 5: Is It Over Yet?

"I love you Scully, I always have!" Mulder gushed as he poured her some lemonade. Why lemonade? BECAUSE IT FUCKING ROCKS OKAY?

Scully watched as he poured it, overfilling her champagne flute and watching the lemonade slide across the table like that one Pokémon... Muk that's its name. Yeahhhh.

"Mulder, I love you too but I wish you weren't so messy... You're spilling the lemonade!" She pointed to the floor were sickly yellow stains were spreading across the carpet.

"Oops. Sorry about that." Mulder blushed and went into her kitchen to get some BOUNTY. Cause it's the motherfucking quicker picker upper! And that shit works.

Scully watched as the sickly yellow slime started to grow larger and larger and start to fill the room.

"MULDER! IT'S NOT LEMONADE! IT'S THE VOMIT MONSTER AGAIN!" She screamed as the room filled with a terrible stench. It smelled like rotten fish and Miley Cyrus' vagina.

"Oh God! The stench! It's making my eyes water!" Mulder yelled as he walked into the living room again holding 15 rolls of BOUNTY: The Quicker Picker upper.

"Mulder quick! Throw the bounty on it! I'll go get some Gravol!" Scully said, gagging at the stench. She stood up and pushed her way through the knee-deep Vomit Monster and towards the bathroom.

Scully came back moments later to see Mulder being strangled by the Vomit Monster and Mulder trying to kick it off and throw BOUNTY: The Quicker Picker Upper into it to soak up the vomit. Scully hurled the Gravol tablets at the monster and they were absorbed by its Vomit-y stench goo.

Within minutes the Monster dropped David Duchovny I mean Mulder and threw it head back screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeching in pain. And in a matter of minutes, MINUTES GUYS, the entire apartment was back to normal. Well, besides the slimey stomach acid residue and the god awful stench.

***

After a very vigorous 12 hours of cleaning, the residue and stench were finally gone, replaced with a fresh lemony scent. Scully and Mulder took the gas masks off and breathed in the fresh scent.

"I'm famished. Let's order something to eat!" Mulder smiled, admiring how little he spent cleaning and how much more Scully did.

Panting, Scully nodded in agreement and reached over for the phone before collapsing on the floor.

"Damn it, not again..." Mulder grumbled, picking her up and taking her to her room. He was quite used to her fainting after doing all the hard work.

***

She awoke a few hours later to see Mulder standing over her holding a meat cleaver and staring rather intensely at her.

"WHAT THE FLYING VAGINAL SHIT MULDER!?" She screamed, peeing herself slightly.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted some delicious Lamb shank for dinner tonight... But you were still asleep, so I thought staring at you intensely with the meat cleaver would wake you up, AND IT DID!" Mulder explained.

"Lamb shank... You're cooking? I thought you didn't know how to?" Scully gave him THE LOOK.

Freaked out a little, Mulder stated: "No, I brought my Mexican lady over. She can speak German now too!"

"Oh, and you're helping her cut the meat?"

"That's not important right now!" Mulder screeched, dropping the meat cleaver onto the floor and jumping on top of her. He leaned in and gave her the biggest, and most slobbery kiss he could muster.

Scully giggled and wiggled and writhed IN PAIN! No just kidding, she wasn't in pain. But her left big toe was a little sore. She had gotten an Ingrown pulled out a week or two ago and it still was a little sensitive. MY STORIES ARE AMAZINGLY DETAILED YES? YES.

Meanwhile in Bangladesh: Lady Gaga and Beyoncé had hitchhiked their way into India. Or was it Pakistan? Who knows. Anyways they had learned Belly dancing in order to earn money and get back to America. WAIT, If Lady Gaga and Beyoncé exist now, wouldn't Scully and Mulder be living in Virgi-bkwjdqglkj GHGGAaasRRrrHHgghhfgh halp ghghhgjhJ I'm jkjahlk BEING CH-OKE-D. GAH.

Scully looked up into Mulder's sparkling -*looks up on X-Files Wiki page* - green eyes. (I always thought they were gray but whatevs. You know it's cool, it's cool. I see how it is X-Files Wiki Page...).

Scully sighed happily and nuzzled herself into his chest as he kissed the top of her head again. She was Just getting comfortable when the Mexican lady came running in screaming in German: "Dein Abendbrot fertig ist Herr."

"I don't know what the heck she just said but it smells like dinner's ready!" Mulder exclaimed rolling off the bed and bounding towards the kitchen table. Scully followed him, picking up the meat cleaver as she went.

The table was set in a fancy way, with china and utensils Scully never knew she had. Well she didn't have them. They were the Mexican Lady's. Whatever. Scully was surprised at the beauty of it. She peed herself a little more.

They sat down and the Mexican Lady served them red wine and an appetizer of Nachos and cheese with crab meat sprinkled into the cheese. And it wasn't that fake Crab shit you buy in the resealable plastic bags either. This was the REAL DEAL. The plates were made from the finest Paper and they used rolls of BOUNTY: THE QUICKER PICKER UPPER as napkins. Everything was perfect. The lack of candlelight, the nachos, even the way Mulder shovelled the food into his mouth and got it practically everywhere. Scully sighed; Mulder's flaws were what made him perfect. Wow, that was cheesy and cliché.

While they sat and ate in silence, Mulder cleared his throat and asked, "Scully May I ask you something?"

"You just did. But yeah, go ahead. What is it Mulder?"

"Yeah, but um... this is sorta important." He stood up, letting his roll of BOUNTY: THE QUICKER PICKER UPPER fall to the floor.

Scully gave him the look as he bent down on one knee and pulled out a little box.

"Dana, Will you... Will you go Steady with me?" He asked.

Scully's eyes widened and she fell backwards out of her chair. She had fainted without giving Mulder an answer. Mulder sighed and left with his Mexican lady. He would call her tomorrow over the phone or something.