Disclaimer:All of the characters are the property of Dick Wolf. I thank him, the writers, the directors and all the great actors who brought them "to life" for our benefit. Any "liberties" I have taken with them stems from my fond admiration (and a few personal quirks I will seek "help" for).

AN: This story is not set within the accepted "canon" for the characters as it is only officially portrayed by the TV series. So I get to "fool around" with them in ways in which they've never been seen, stretching that to the limit and suspending the "reality" that is "fiction" to start with…now there's a contradiction in terms!!!

(And yeah Goren I know the proper word for that is oxymoron…by the way…chocolate round your mouth and on your fingers is a bit of a clue to who ate MY giant egg…and you call yourself a detective??)

Aah! Easter…Springtime…and for Bobby the sap definitely seems to be rising…

IN THE EASTER PARADE

Eames and Benson were thrilled when they and their partners were asked to be part of the NYPD float in the annual Easter Parade. The two of them had spent hours choosing suitable dresses to wear and several nights decorating bonnets.

Several wine-fuelled and calorie laden nights, after deciding to glue chocolate eggs to the straw hats. But realising the danger of not being able to fit into their dresses and the appearance on their faces of several unsightly spots, they stuck more and ate less. Provided the temperatures were not in the nineties that day all would be well.

As to Bobby and Elliot, neither of them very enthusiastic it had to be said, all they had to do was go to the costume hire shop. Ask for two bunny costumes and get themselves to the start of the parade.

But as the time for it to start drew closer and numerous "Harveys", "Thumpers" and"Mopsys" were boarding the float, there was no sign of the two guys. True, armed with stun guns and shotguns, none of the cops from the"Watership Down Precinct" were as cute as they might be.

One from the mounted division was carrying a carrot he must have stolen from his horse and was dressed as "Bugs" and when someone from Traffic got run over crossing the street, it really was a case of "Who Killed Roger Rabbit?" Or more accurately, Sergeant Frank Dobson, married with two young children.

And John Munch was driving everyone nuts as the "Energiser Bunny" with his drum until someone found his "off switch". Or shorted him out with a taser, as suddenly it went quiet.

Eames and Benson were just getting into a panic Bobby and Elliot were going to miss the start, when a cab drew up and they stepped out. Or in Goren's case rolled out and lay on the ground helpless until Stabler managed to get him to his feet. That was even worse. There was nothing "Flopsy" about his costume at all. Quite the reverse.

The two female detectives stared in horrified silence at their partners.

Twenty Minutes Later, Fifth Avenue

Benson was fast losing any remaining patience with Stabler. He kept complaining how tight the gusset of his costume was, how he was sure he'd got a run in his fishnets and he wished other people on the float would quit pinching his butt. There was hardly any fluff left in his"Cottontail".

It was humiliating to have to stand next to him and she'd eaten half the decoration on her hat to make herself feel better. If one more male citizen shouted out "Wow it's Mr July" she would shoot them.

But what really ticked her off was Elliot not only had better legs than her in three-inch heels, his cleavage was magnificent. Though having D cup implants done, probably was taking things rather too far.

On the opposite side of the float, Eames was so angry the eggs on her bonnet were in danger of boiling on a cool and damp day.

"Stop that Goren!" she snapped.

"I can't find the switch" he muttered from inside the pink tube as the top third kept rotating in a relentless circular fashion. "It's making me giddy too"

"There" said Eames locating it before she turned away and screamed. "And take those ears out of my back!"

"Sorry" replied her partner.

Though Bobby didn't sound it and he wasn't about to tell Eames what was making them vibrate.

"It's bad enough having to stand next to you" she complained. "But you do realise its Liv and I who will get the blame for this? For being so stupid to imagine we could trust you two to do a simple thing like go and hire two Easter Bunny costumes"

"They sold out" said Goren trying to keep better control of the super soft and extra long ears as he turned to waggle them at the crowd.

"I don't believe you" hissed his partner who knew she could never show the photographs of this occasion at the family dinner table.

Then, just when she and Benson thought things could not get worse, their partners only went and won first prize in "The Pairs" fancy dress competition. How Stabler managed to balance where he did, goodness only knew, nor why Goren let him. But it was disgusting.

It came as no surprise none of them were invited to take part in the 4th July Parade that year.

AN : There are soooo many things I could say as footnote…but would get banned for. I'd post a "cut and paste" illustrative picture on my profile page…it just so happens I have one…but I'd get banned for that too…Happy Easter!!