BPOV

"Come on Bella! We're here! Wakey wakey eggs and bakey! Ok actually it's eggs and toast cuz the hotel didn't have anything else but food all tastes the same—gross—so I didn't think it mattered. Now GET UP! You're gonna miss all the fun if you keep sleeping the day away!"

I startled out of my sleep at the sound of Emmett's booming voice. I grumbled and pulled a pillow over my head moaning for 5 more minutes.

"No more minutes!! Sleep is so overrated. You humans waste so much time on sleep that you miss out on all the fun stuff that goes on around four in the morning. Like how I beat Jasper at wrestling. Te he!" Emmett giggled like a little school girl and I couldn't help grinning into my pillow.

"He did not beat me. He's delusional." I heard Jasper at the door and mentally rolled my eyes at the two.

"I did so beat you! That's not fair! Rose didn't I beat him fair and square?" I heard him yell out over his shoulder.

"Actually, I wasn't paying attention to you two because if I wanted to see two buffoons, I would simply go to the zoo." I heard a bored voice shoot back and my heart melted as I heard Edward's chuckle near my ear. I pulled my head up to look at him and his eyes smoldered as he looked back at me.

It would have been a perfect moment if Emmett hadn't squished in next to me, pushing me towards Edward and probably causing a bruise in the process. Instead of cuddling up to Edward though, Emmett managed to push me enough to force Edward off the bed somehow. I peeked over the edge of the bed to see a shocked looking Edward on the floor. He started composing himself then the next second he was leaning against the side of the RV with his arms crossed and a guarded look on his face.

"Emmett, leave Bella alone. You're going to break her bed and we don't want the situation to be like the toilet." I heard Alice chipping in as she glanced at us through the doorway.

Ah, the toilet situation. I never considered myself as one of those people with an extremely small bladder but I am human after all so it ended up with me cringing uncomfortably and trying to hold it for as long as I could. This became unnecessary after I had been holding it for 5 hours and Alice stared at me for a while in the rearview mirror before wincing and saying, "Bella, I honestly don't think we can return that couch in a lesser condition than it was in." Considering hint taken.

Emmett pouted for a second before quickly rushing off the bed and as the bed bounced back, I almost flew right off.

"Where are we anyway?" I asked with a yawn.

"Salem, Oregon. Where the witch trials were. Ooooo spooky." Emmett made a few ghost sounds and started pouting once more when he looked around and saw nobody was paying attention to him.

"Actually, they weren't actual witches. It was just LSD in the wheat from which they made bread that made them have hallucinations and fevers but since they didn't know about drugs back then, they blamed it on witches. Then they started accusing women they had grudges against as the witches and after having a trial in court, they were found to be witches because they couldn't prove themselves to be otherwise. So they were hanged." I said matter-of-factly as Emmett paid attention, surprisingly. It was everybody else who already knew this and were doing their own thing.

"NO…WAY! Are you serious? Whaaaaat that's crazy! So if they thought I was a witch right now, they'd hang me?" He asked seriously.

"Why Emmett? Are you a witch?" Edward asked with a smirk on his face.

"I could be. How do you know those women weren't?" He asked smugly.

We all looked at each other before Rosalie said, "Emmett, dear, there's no such thing as witches. Now get ready to go."

Emmett pouted some more before disappearing from my line of vision. Wait. Go?

"Go where?" I asked curiously. Edward looked at me for a second before shrugging and looking away.

"Hunting, of course." Emmett said like I was having a DUH moment.

Well this was just dandy. They wake me up to tell me they're going hunting. No wonder Edward wouldn't look me in the eye. I rolled myself off the bed and went into the bathroom with a "Have fun" thrown behind my back.

When I came out, I found Edward and only Edward sitting at the booth, running a poker chip back and forth between his fingers.

"What happened to hunting?" I asked suspiciously.

"I don't need it." He shrugged and I went to sit in his lap. I traced the black bruises under his eyes and tsked him while I closed my own eyes. I took a deep breath and stood up.

"I can't believe you're doing this to yourself to be with me. Honestly Edward. That is just typical Bella Swan behavior." He smiled sheepishly as I sat across from him in the booth.

"What can I say, I'm a Bella Swan advocate."

After 10 minutes, I went to slide in next to him and have some private time but he shook his no, leaving me disappointed and self-conscious. So now we were playing poker. Oh yay. Beats making out any day. NOT.

Just as I was about to put down my cards and walk into the other room, Emmett burst into the RV with a triumphant "I CAUGHT YOU LOVEBIRDS! HA!"

We both stared at Emmett like his head was about to pop off and his face fell as he took in the cards in our hands and our body positions leaning away from each other.

"Daaaaang! Alice! Evil!" He stomped into the other room as Edward started chuckling. That's when I got it. DUH moment indeed. Edward had known Emmett was going to do this so he had kept us playing stupid card games.

"Oh don't worry Emmett. I'm sure you'll catch us in a compromising sometime. We don't have as much self control as you seem to assume we do. Trust me on that." Edward winked at me when I looked at him as he said this. Yeah right. I wouldn't bet my truck on that statement that's for sure.

Longest Road Trip one so far. Not too funny? Yeeeeah idk. Hope you enjoyed it anyway...