Chapter Ten: Two Princes // Spin Doctors
"Waking before ten on a saturday should be illegal," Will groaned as Emma stroked his chest and took his left hand, kissing the knuckles gently before dropping it and placing her own hands on her bump.
Will watched Emma run her hands along her belly with a contented expression; she wasn't even aware she was doing it most of the time. Their daughter had been active all night and even though she was tired, Emma didn't mind prying herself out of bed — today was the day she would finish getting the little girl's room ready.
Just as she was about to pull back the blankets, Will took her arm and looked at her with his sad puppy eyes, "Don't I get a kiss?"
Emma twisted so she was straddling him. He stroked her stomach briefly before taking her face into his hands, lowering her and kissing her sweetly, dragging it out as long as he could before she leaned back and smiled. Will slipped a hand up her night gown and tugged at the waistband of her underwear, "Didn't you get enough last night?" She laughed, "Honey," She rarely called him anything other then his name, but when Emma used a pet-name, Will always had a feeling she was going to be humorous, "I love you, but I think our little girl would appreciate it if we didn't put her on a roller coaster ride all the time. And I'm a little, uh...sore."
She blushed and kissed him once more before sliding off and ruffling through the dresser for something appropriate to paint in. Attempting to find nasty old clothes was hard, as she didn't own anything nasty. Settling on a pair of baggy black track pants and one of Will's hooded sweatshirts, she undressed slowly, knowing he was watching.
"Emma..."
The nightgown caught on his face as she tossed it across the room.
They both laughed and Emma crawled back up him, wearing nothing but a lacy pair of black panties, "Maybe real quick, if you think you can be gentle."
Will cheered in victory before flipping her over and attacking her neck with kisses while running his hands up the length of her body. She giggled beneath him and sighed contently as his caress left her in a peaceful state; their intimacy had only been prompted by the pregnancy.
An hour later they pulled into the driveway of their soon-to-be home, Emma always glowed as they did, a combination of happiness and disbelief that this was their house. A wonderful husband, a new house and a baby on the way — she was in disbelief that this was her life.
She unlocked the front door, eyeing the paint cans that lined the wall and the bundles of carpet-protecting plastic sheets, paint buckets and rollers. She was slightly nervous about giving the permanent liquid to teenagers, but grateful for their assistance nonetheless.
She shuffled into the kitchen, setting her purse and lunch down and sighed, leaning against the countertop. A smile graced her face as she looked at the island and pictured a little girl wearing a flowery baby-doll dress, sitting on the edge and helping stir a bowl of her daddy's favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Emma had throughly cleaned the kitchen during the evenings over the course of the week. Every appliance was now food-safe and all surfaces were ready to be used. Will had put a coat of pink paint in the nursery and together they'd discovered how to fix a leaky pipe in the main bathroom.
As she moved around the house, she knew it was going to appear big even after they moved in. The didn't have much for furniture and the baby's financial needs were coming before their own. The crib alone had been well over three hundred dollars and the changing table was an extra hundred. Emma really wanted a gliding chair for the room, but after they'd purchased a small dresser, she wasn't sure if it would be in the budget. She placed her hands on her hips and huffed as she stopped in the doorway of the newly pink nursery. The furniture would be arriving tuesday and she wanted it assembled before she shouldn't be lifting anymore. Butterfly and flower stencils she'd found on clearance at Michael's were on the floor with several small jars of paint. While it would probably take all day to trace and color everything she had envisioned, it was by far cheaper then wallpaper.
Her thoughts drifted once more to an image of her little girl sitting in her lap, rocking slowly while Emma read her a book or sang her to sleep.
"Hey," Will stood behind her, kissing the sensitive skin of her neck, "What are you thinking about?"
She closed her eyes and leaned back into him, "Babies are so expensive."
"Mm," He kissed her again, "We'll be okay. What is it you want?"
"N-nothing," She stuttered.
"Emma..." He waited patiently, "Tell me what you want."
She sighed and twisted to face him, "A glider, for in here. So we can rock her to sleep, I mean, it's not a big deal, we don't have to, I mean, we can live without it—"
He cut her off with a third kiss, "We'll find one."
"I don't...I mean, we...okay."
Will smiled and stroked her blushing face, "Sweetheart, I just can't always read your mind. Don't be afraid to ask when you want something. We can find a way to make it work."
A knock disrupted the couple just as Emma was about to let out a teary breath of insecurity. "I'll get it," She sighed, but Will snatched her waist first.
"Hey, you come first, remember? What else is bothering you?"
"I-I...I think it's just hormones, Will. I'm okay," She painted on a smile and dragged him to the door, revealing Quinn, Rachel and Finn.
"Hello, Mrs. Schuester!" Rachel greeted happily as she entered the cozy home.
"Hey, Rach," Will glanced down at their wet shoes for a moment before spreading a sheet of the carpet-protecting plastic next to the door, "If you could set your shoes here, that'd be great."
Quinn slipped off her flats and hugged Emma tightly, as always, "You okay?" She whispered.
Emma pulled back and mouthed later as the door opened once more, revealing Mike, Matt and his father, "Thought you could use another hand?"
"Oh, sure, thanks," Emma fought to keep up with happy appearances as more people walked into her home, feeling as though she was back at the uncomfortable Christmas party at her parent's.
Ten minutes passed and fourteen people had gathered themselves into her living room. Everyone from Glee except Puck, who would be stopping by after work, had formed a circle around the expecting couple. Trying not to have a panic attack, Emma interrupted the chit-chat with a forced smile, "Um...hi. Thanks, thank you, um, so much for coming to help us out today...I'm really hoping we can get this all done, that would be great."
"What do you need us to do, Mrs. Schue?" Finn asked as he snaked an arm around Rachel's shoulders.
"Well, um, we would like to have the living room and hallway painted, we've got this blue..." She stepped aside revealing the paint, "Here, and we also would appreciate it if we could get the dining room done, that's this yellow. Aside from painting, um...the basement carpet needs to be cleaned and there is a room in the basement that actually needs some work done," Emma turned to Matt's father, "Maybe you could look at it actually, I think it's a wiring issue and well, we don't know much about that...stuff."
The group started offering to do various tasks and in the end the only two that were left were Artie and Quinn.
Emma sighed and looked at Artie, who shrugged, "I know I'm not much help, can't really reach much for painting..."
"Actually," a light went off and she turned him around, motioning for Quinn to follow as they entered the pink nursery, much to Quinn's squealing delight. Emma moved Artie against the wall and held up one of the stencils in front of him, "Perfect height," She smiled.
Quinn sat on the little white bench below the window and smiled, "It's so sweet," She sighed, taking in the pink.
"I thought it was the perfect shade..." Emma picked up a piece of paper she had on the floor, explaining to Quinn and Artie the layout of where she wanted the mini-murals.
"Hey," Will poked his head in, "What do you want me to do, Em?"
She shrugged, "Um, I guess whatever you want?"
As a man in a controlling relationship for fifteen years, Will occasionally felt lost when his current wife didn't give him directions, "I guess I'll supervise the living room then." He kissed her cheek quickly before leaving and Quinn and Artie shared a look.
"What?" Emma asked, handing Artie a long, flowered stencil and pencil to start working.
"Nothing!" Quinn giggled, taking a butterfly pattern.
"Mrs. Schue, what are you thinking about for baby names?" Artie questioned, tracing a stem onto the wall.
"Oh, goodness. We haven't come up with to many we like, actually. We've got names that will work, like Samantha and Audrey. We like those, but we haven't really come up with the one yet. We also found names we really don't want to give her, like Juliet. I liked it, but Will said he'd hear a Taylor Swift song every time I say her name," Artie snickered, "There are actually a lot of names we like, but they're really popular. Like Ava and Hannah. I don't want her to have to be 'Ava S.' until middle school, you know?"
"True. I can honestly say I like being the only Artie around."
"Will likes Grace, but that's the problem. Will and Grace."
Quinn laughed, "No, no. Can't do that."
Emma giggled back, "We're holding onto it though, maybe a middle name. I was thinking Allie Grace after I had a hormonal breakdown that required watching The Notebook. But Will said no to Allie because he'd think of Noah and then he'd think of Puck." They all burst out laughing and Emma sighed once she caught her breath, "The last one I've got is Ella. We don't know about that one yet, though. I don't know what I'd pair it with. Will says it sounds like there's a letter missing at the beginning."
"Well, you can't name her Bella, because every vampire-loving crazy is naming their daughter Bella these days." Artie said as he continued stenciling floral patterns onto the wall.
"Oh, no, no, no. Bella Schuester...nah."
Nearly an hour of quiet conversation passed and they'd finished penciling the wall and were on to painting.
"Mrs. Schuester? I was wondering if I could ask you a question about yourself?"
Having a feeling she knew what Artie was going to ask and deciding that he would be an understanding individual for the truth of her mysophobia, "Sure," Emma smiled, pouring a light green into a tray for him to use.
"It's just, you always get us to open up to you about ourselves and I guess...you've just never really opened up to us all that much."
Emma smiled sadly, "You want to know why I'm...a neat freak?" She hated the phrase germaphobe and she doubted the teenage boy would know the true name of her illness.
"I'm just curious. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I know I don't like talking about my accident."
"Well," Emma almost laughed as she began painting a purple butterfly, "An accident is how it started. When I was little, I didn't really like to be...dirty. I hated sand and, well, just being outside all together. It got worse when I was eight, though. My family and I visited a farm and my brother pushed me into a runoff lagoon." She'd gotten more comfortable telling her story over the past year with Will as she had done serious reflecting. Together they started working through some of the bigger issues she had as she became more comfortable with Will's touches. "I've had a lot of...trouble, since then."
Artie grimaced, "Oh, God...I can imagine the smell," He shivered, having a brief flashback to being trapped in the plastic blue port-a-jon, visualizing a thousand times more powerful, "I'm sorry that happened to you, Mrs. Schue."
He was always so considerate, Emma had noticed after spending the past year and a half with the kids, "I-I'm learning to deal with it, though. I kind of have to, now. Babies are...messy."
"I kind of thought that, I was wondering how...or, er, why...I guess there's no good way to ask how or why you got pregnant with your...condition?"
Emma laughed, "It's okay. We weren't planning it, that's for sure. We were trying very hard not to get pregnant, actually." She blushed, "I, I, um...I mean...it's—"
"You were using protection, right?" Quinn asked bluntly, "I mean, he was wearing—"
"Yes, yes!" Emma nearly shouted, her face a darker shade of pink then the walls surrounding her, "We were very careful, always."
"Were you taking the pill?"
If her face could have heated up any more, Emma was sure it would have, "I-uh, wasn't very...good about...taking it...but we always used...the other one...Always."
"So much for contraception," Artie sighed, "None of us are safe."
Emma raised an eyebrow, "Well none of you should have to worry about that, right?"
"You must have some really good eggs, Emma." Quinn teased, "Or Will has really fast sp—"
"Okay, okay, th-that's enough," The red head stammered and put a hand to her belly.
Quinn set her paintbucket down and hugged Emma from behind, resting her head on the older woman's shoulder blades, "Sorry, Emma. I was just joking."
Emma smiled warmly, "I know."
The blonde stepped in front of her and rested a hand on the swollen stomach, "What were you worried about with money? I thought you were going to be able to afford this place."
"We are, we are...it's just stressful. We bought furniture for this room over the week and the budget wasn't big enough for one of the things I wanted. Will says we'll make it work, but I don't want to be clinging on for dear life."
"What did you want?"
Emma's smile turned sad as she stepped into the right corner of the room near the window, "I wanted a glider or a rocking chair right here. But it's not essential, so I can live without it. You can't always get—" Her face paled for a moment and she excused herself to the bathroom.
Will caught a flash of red enter bolting to the bathroom and immediately set his roller down and caught the door just before Emma slammed it shut; she bent over the toilet, dry-heaving. He rubbed her back briefly, silently watching as she attempted to empty her stomach.
When a few minutes passed and nothing happened, Emma relented and sighed, looking tiredly at Will. He lifted her gently onto the edge of the sink and held her close as she set her head in his chest, breathing deeply, "You alright?" He asked as her air intake returned to normal, "You haven't had morning sickness in awhile..."
She shook her head, "N-not morning sickness. I-it was the, the s-smell. K-kind of intense."
He kissed her cheek, "We should probably open some windows, hm?"
"Y-yeah," Emma pulled a hair tie off her wrist and handed it to Will who finger-combed her short gingery hair into a low ponytail, and blew cool air across the back of her neck, making her shiver and smile. Returning her face to his chest she asked, "How's it going? I'm too much of a nervous wreck to check for myself...I don't want to see the mess."
"It's going good. Another hour or so and we'll be done painting. The dining room is finished already and Matt's dad is fixing the electric problem in the basement."
Emma threaded her fingers into his, "Great." She paused and not knowing what to say, she relented to her go-to statement for moments of silence, "I love you, Will."
He brought their hands to his lips, "I love you, Em." Will's free hand rested on her stomach, "And I love you, too, baby girl." He kissed the fabric-covered lump and sighed contently, "Ready to get back to work?" She nodded and let him hug her tightly and lift her down before leaving the bathroom together.
"Are you alright?" Quinn asked the moment the door opened, gathered with the rest of the kids in the hall.
Emma blushed, "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Paint smell's just a little, um, overwhelming." Daring to be brave, she glanced around the group to the living room, where the dark brown walls were covered by a very light green. To her delight, everything looked neat and even the plastic coverings on the floor had managed to stay mostly clean, "Wow, you guys! This looks great, thank you."
After opening a few windows to allow the paint fumes to waft into the chilly March air, Emma returned to the nursery, where the majority of the painting had been completed. Quinn and Artie had joined the majority of the group in completing the hallway, leaving her alone.
She smiled and felt her tears welling up; the butterflies had taken shape and the flowers Artie painted stood in perfect rows. "Oh," she sighed, her hands finding their way over her bump once more, "What do you think, baby girl?"
"I think she'll love it," Finn said from behind her. She gave him an understanding look and ushered him in, knowing that even though he'd forgiven Quinn's actions, there was still a small part of him that mourned the little girl he thought he'd have. Finn moved to sit on the bench beneath the window, Emma sat next to him and pondered what she could say to make it better.
"You okay, Finn?" Mentally cringing at the lameness of her question, Finn sighed, his shoulders slumping. He had been hoping someone would ask him that question for a long time.
"Not really."
Emma reached behind her to crack the window open so the fumes could spread out of the room, "What's on your mind?"
He rubbed his hands agains the rough, faded fabric on his jeans and took another deep breath. "It's not you, Mrs. Schue, it's just...I, with the baby coming, your baby coming, it's just...hard not to think of last year, you know? I mean, I forgive Quinn and all, it's just a lot to think about."
"Well, Finn," Emma cleared her throat and scratched at a dried on drip of purple paint on Will's sweatshirt, "I think you really did make a huge step when you forgave her, on New Year's. That was a big deal for you and I'm really proud that you did it," If she knew one thing from working with the extraordinarily tall teenage boy, it was that he needed encouragement and praise before she could really give him advice or suggestions. When the corners of his lips turned up a bit, Emma continued, "I know you think you should be over it by now. But you don't have to be. No one is putting a time restraint on your healing process."
The red head kept from panicking as Finn scraped at dirt under his fingernails, "I guess I just...don't really know where I'm at in it. The healing process. I don't really know who to talk about it with, I guess. Puck and I are cool, but it's kind of a tiger in the room, right?" Emma held her tongue at his idiom confusion, "And Rachel is Quinn's best friend, so that's kind of weird. I'm just not sure if she'd be able to keep everything I want to say to herself. None of the other guys really get it, you know? And my mom, well, she gets pretty upset when I bring it up."
"Finn, you know you can always come to Will and I. Always."
"I know, but, I think that Mr. Schue might have bad memories of his crazy ex-wife if I bring it up to him. I don't want that. He's happy now and I don't want to ruin it."
Having a flashback to Quinn's concern earlier in the year of ruining their happiness, Emma shook her head and moved a delicate hand to rest on his shoulder, "There is nothing to worry about, I promise. You are not going to get in the way of our happiness. Will and I have talked that issue out; it's not going to hurt him to talk about. It might help both of you, really," she pulled away and smiled reassuringly.
Finn seemed to accept this answer more then the rest of them, "Okay. Well, can I talk to you about it real quick?"
"Of course!"
"So, yeah. I keep thinking about it, and I keep thinking, what if it was mine, you know? What if it had been my baby and we were going to keep it? I keep thinking about how I would be such a terrible dad and how messed up the kid would be and—"
"I'm going to stop you there, Finn," Emma set her face very seriously and counted off on her fingers, "One, you can not play 'what if,' kiddo. It's just not healthy for you. The fact is, it isn't, okay? That is not the way the situation turned out. The more you think about it, the more you start to convince yourself that it's real. That just leads down a road that will make you hurt. You don't want that."
"I-I know. I guess, I know. I can't help it though; I try to sleep at night and all these thoughts just keep coming how I would have been the worst dad ever."
"There's number two. You are seventeen years old, Finn. You aren't ready to be a father. And really, no one is. When it happens, it happens. There isn't a manuel for being a good parent — trust me, I looked. My sister keeps telling me that it comes naturally. I'm worried too, about being a good mom. But for now, you don't have those worries, and be thankful that you don't."
His demeanor seemed to pick up when Emma expressed her own doubts, "What are you most worried about, Mrs. Schue — if you don't mind me asking?"
Emma open and closed her mouth several times before relaxing enough to let the young man in, "I'm very worried about everything. Will keeps telling me that I'm going to be a good mom, but you and I both know he often says things to make us happy."
"True, but I don't think he's lying about that. I think you'll be a good mom, too, Mrs. Schue. You're great with all of us, hell, you've been more of a mom to some of us in the past year then our own parents. You listen to us and give us real good advice, you make sure we've got what we need, you always want to see us preform and you make sure we're being taken care of — in whatever we need. That's a mom's job, right? To make sure her kid's are taken care of?"
Emma paused to let the information soak into her mind while she stared blankly at Finn for a moment before feeling a gush of emotions take over, "Oh, that was very sweet of you, Finn. I-I...I don't know. I just...you know, about my problem, and I'm just very worried that it's going to affect how I raise my child."
"I think you'll be okay. I think Mr. Schue'll keep you on the right path. He's good at that." Finn smiled brightly at Emma before eyeing her baby bump, hoping she would understand what he was to embarrassed to ask.
"You can touch her, it's okay."
Finn nodded and gently rested a hand on Emma's bump. Her eyes sparkled as his smile matched hers. When the baby kicked, he laughed, "So amazing," He said quietly, "Hey baby," All awkward feelings of talking to his guidance counselor's stomach disappeared as she kicked at the sound of his voice, "My name is Finn. I just wanted to let you know that you've got some really cool parents." Emma swallowed the lump in her throat as he continued, "You've got a really fun, really talented dad who's going to teach you all sorts of stuff. And you've got the nicest mom in the world. She's real sweet and really pretty. So you'll probably be real pretty too." She kicked again and he removed his hand and moved his gaze to meet Emma's watery one, "Thanks, Mrs. Schue."
Against all her restraints, Emma pulled him into a hug, which he returned with as much feeling. Will knocked lightly on the door frame and the two pulled away, Emma wiping a stray tear from her eye and Finn beaming at his Glee coach, "Hey, Mr. Schue."
His eyes wandered to the butterflies and Finn could have sworn he saw him tearing up for a moment, "Looks great, Em."
She stood and wrapped an arm around him, "Yeah?"
"Really, I love it. She's going to love it." He soaked up the sight of Emma's contented and relaxed demeanor, "Come on - Puck just got here. He brought pizza," Finn's ears perked up and he rubbed his hands together, exiting and thinking with his stomach.
Emma giggled as Will slipped a hand into the waistband of her pants once Finn left and stroked the bottom of her lump, "I know you won't eat pizza, but come on, we'll hang with the kids. Mike's hooking his iPod up and they want to eat at the bar, so they can take turns dancing and singing on stage."
She smiled as his fingers tickled the sensitive, swollen skin that was covering their child, "Sounds fun." The couple entered the basement as a blaring rendition of Gives You Hell, complete with hand claps, greeted them.
Emma allowed Will to lift her into a bar stool that he had kicked Mike off of, then laughed as the song switched and various small groups took the stage, putting on an impromptu show for her and Will.
"Alright, Mr. Schue! You're turn!" Rachel laughed and attempted to pull him towards the stage.
He held his hands up, "Oh no, I think you guy's got this—"
"Come on, you haven't sang in forever!" Mercedes cheered from her place in center stage, "We haven't seen you break it down...well, try to break it down in a long time."
The group laughed and Will rolled his eyes, not wanting to back down from the not-so-subtle challenge. He had an idea of a song he would love to sing to his wife, but was certainly not appropriate to do in front of his kids. Maybe she would be up for another roller-coaster ride in the evening...
"Alright, what did you have in mind?"
When no one turned out an idea, Will pulled his iTouch out of his pocket and hooked it up to the dock, a catchy old pop tune starting softly, "This was big when I was in high school. We sang it for one of our last invitationals my freshman year."
He started singing with the Spin Doctors, moving about the room and dancing with the girls as the group clapped along. Making his way toward his wife as he sang, he spun her chair around once and slid her down, twirling and subtly grinding behind her, "If you want to call me baby, just go ahead now, and if you would like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now. And if you want to buy me flowers just go ahead now, and if you would like to talk for hours, just go ahead now."
Emma giggled as he spun her in and out towards his body, kissing him sweetly and buried her face in his neck as the song ended. The Glee club members cheered and finally settled themselves into seats to finish eating, "So, Mrs. Schue, Artie said you're having a hard time settling on names. I think that we might be able to help," Rachel said with a dazzling smile, "I think, that since you both love music so much, you should pick a song that has a girl's name in it, so you could sing it to her!"
Will glanced at his wife, genuinely liking the idea, but knowing she wouldn't want to pick a name for that sole purpose, "I like that, but there's got to be another reason to name our daughter something other then just wanting to sing her name."
"You c-could name her Jane!" Tina pipped as she took a bite, "Then you could s-sing her the Beatles!"
Naturally, the group chorused Lady Jane, causing Emma to laugh again, "I don't think so. But I have always had a soft spot for Van Halen. We could name her Jamie and sing Jamie's Crying whenever she throws a tantrum."
Will laughed along with her, setting his hand over hers as Puck shoved his third slice of pizza down his throat before suggesting, "Caroline? I'll sing to her."
Emma tried to compose herself as they continued to suggest names such as Roxanne, Billie Jean and Michelle. She sighed, finally quieted the group down and tugged at the long sleeves of her sweatshirt, "We want to name her something really meaningful. And memorable. Not just because we like a name, or it's a song."
Her husband met her gaze and nodded, watching as the group finished eating, "Ready to get finished so you guys can get out of here?"
Almost two full hours later, Artie's dad had picked him up and the Schuester couple was alone again. Emma surveyed the living room while rubbing her shoulders, smiling weekly, "It looks very nice," She said quietly while Will rounded up all the paint rollers.
"Glad you let them help?" He teased, setting the rollers into one bin and placing a gentle kiss to her lips as his arms snaked around her shoulders, "What now?"
She could feel a swarm of tired feelings evoking her and as she tried to fight a yawn, Emma knew her heavy eyelids would give her away, "I'm really exhausted."
Will stroked her face with his thumb and kissed her forehead softly, "Let's head back then for today."
"No arguments," She sighed and fell into him, "I guess we could come back tomorrow and I could finish the carpets. And you could finish replacing the shower head," Emma laughed the last part, reveling in his lack of handiness.
"I may need more then just tomorrow, sweetheart. Come on," He took her hand and lead her throughout the house, double checking the windows were closed and latched, "Ready?"
She nodded sleepily and found herself in the car moments later, dozing against the headrest.
X
"Okay. We can do this."
"We can."
"We're not going to pass out."
"We're not."
"We're not going to throw up."
"Nope."
"And we're not going to hyperventilate."
"Not happening."
"Okay," Emma breathed deeply before pressing play on the DVD remote the following evening as she nestled herself against Will as his hand wrapped around her, stroking the wedding band on her left ring finger mindlessly as sound emitted from the television.
"Hi. I'm Doctor Renee Auzmer from the Ohio State University School of Medicine. I have been an obstetrician for fifteen years and have seen the miracle of life day in and day out and today I'm here to show you how the miracle happens."
Will watched as the skinny blonde walked the corridors of the birthing center and introduced a few doctors and nurses along the way.
"Today, we will meet two couples. One of them is choosing to give birth to their son the natural way and the other will have their daughter through a cesarian procedure."
Thirteen minutes later, the look on Emma's face could only be described as horrified as she stared unblinking at the screen while a mother cried in pain and a sticky mess of a human was delivered unto the world.
"Emma? You breathing, sweetheart?" Will asked, lifting a finger to close her mouth.
"I-I-I...there's...I c-can't..."
Her mind swirled as she stuttered, trying to grasp any form of logical thought she could reach. This was the first time she'd ever seen a birth — Discovery Health just wasn't her favorite channel and when Natalie was born, she arrived simply to see her sister several hours later. The way the woman's...the head was so big...and...oh God.
"Emma?" When she still made no motion of moving, Will sighed, "Em."
"Will, I can't."
He forced her to face him, "That's why there's two options, right?"
She swallowed hard and nodded, "L-let's see the other one."
Minutes later, as the surgeon lifted a layer of slimy, yellow fatty tissue, Emma fled from the couch and into the bathroom, this time actually throwing up. Will cringed for a moment, unable to take his eyes away from the muscle that was being moved.
The sounds of Emma's tears brought him out of his trance as he quickly moved to the room they'd spent far to much time in over the past few months, "Sweetheart..." He sighed, watching as she flushed the toilet and sat on the closed lid with her face hidden in her hands, "Emma..." Will was at a loss for words, he had no idea what he could say that wouldn't make her feel guilty or upset. As he was about to wrap an arm around her, she pulled him to her, crying loudly into his abdomen.
"I-I can't do this, Will!"
He stroked the top of her head and back as she sobbed, "Em..."
When several minutes passed and she still hadn't calmed down, Will scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed, kissing the top of her head and promising to be right back.
He dug through her purse an pulled out her green and white cellphone. Scrolling through her contacts, he selected one of the first on the list and was shocked at how quickly the call was answered.
"Emma? Oh my god, are you alright?"
Will almost laughed as Annie frantically panicked in fear of something being wrong with her sister or the baby. "It's Will, yeah, she's alright, well sort of."
He heard a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone, "Sorry, my blood pressure just went through the roof —Natalie, do not even think about walking on the carpet with those boots on, girl—" Will actually did chuckle at that line, "Anyway, what's happening? I'm guessing she's freaked out about something?"
"I guess you could say that...we were watching a birthing movie."
"Oh boy."
"Yeah, she's pretty freaked out. I have no idea what to tell her that won't make her more upset."
Will could picture Annie sympathetically placing her hand over her heart in the same way Emma often did, "Oh, Will...let me talk to her."
He entered the bedroom, where Emma's hysterics had turned to sniffles, "Hey, sweetheart? Annie's on the—"
She didn't even let him finish, "A-ann?" She asked, trying desperately not to start bawling again.
"Hey, sweetie." That was enough for Emma, who began to cry, "Oh, Ems...honey, listen. You're watching a movie on giving birth?"
Emma nodded, but then remembered that her sister wouldn't see her movement, she breathed, "Yes," before sucking up a sniffle. Will lay down next to her, stroking his daughter as his wife clung to the phone as if it were keeping her alive.
She heard Annie shifting the phone and the twins running in the background, screaming something about their Webkinz accounts, "Okay, well, first of all, you need to calm down, alright? High blood pressure isn't good for either of you. Just take some deep breaths and settle a bit."
Will could hear her through the speaker and moved his other hand to rub Emma's back, his arms now twisted in such a way that it appeared he was holding her.
"Okay, that sounds much better," Annie said a few moments later, "Now what freaked you out so much?
Emma took a shaky breath as her free hand wandered to Will's shirt, as she twisted the fabric together, she explained, "Th-the birth was s-so messy and the opening was so small and the head was so big...then they cut her open a-and it was s-so...awful. I d-don't know how they're g-going to get the baby out!"
"Oh, honey...sweetheart, I know that the movie probably made it look awful, but trust me, it really isn't that bad. Either way you do it, they'll give you a shot to numb you up and Will's going to be there the entire time."
"Y-you h-had both kinds, right?"
"Yes —boys, enough—ugh, hold on one second, Ems..." Emma chuckled through her tears as she heard her sister sending all four kids to the basement to play, with a promise of a snack if they were able to keep quiet until she was off the phone, "I'm sorry. We've been snowed in all week with them and I really need a break. But anyway, I did natural birth the first time, with Natalie. It honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'd much rather have that then a C-section. The recovery was much more painful and it took so much longer. And I didn't lose the weight as quickly."
Emma threaded her fingers through Will's hair while she listened to her sister, tears drying themselves to her face while she fought back new ones, "I don't know what I'm going to do."
Annie sighed, "Honey, I honestly don't want to tell you what to do, but I want to strongly encourage the natural birth. It's painful, yes, and it's sort of messy, but the actual labor is only about an hour and then it's done. If you have a C-section, you can barely move for weeks and you can't wear a bikini ever again, and you lose some of the muscles in your abdomen, which you need to push, so you won't be able to have another natural birth."
The younger sister sniffed and rubbed her bump with Will, "I'm scared."
"I know, sweetie, I know. But Will will be there, I'll be there if you want—"
"Yes! I want you there."
"Okay, then I will be. But sweetheart, really, it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. And once all the pain is done and the baby finally comes out, they put her on your chest, you'll be holding her and all the mess is just going to disappear, I promise."
"I, um, I want to ask something else...Did, um...did you nurse all the kids?" Emma asked. Will had questioned her about it earlier in the week and she hadn't given much thought to the manner in which she would be feeding their daughter.
"Yes, I did. And you should, too. I know it's kind of weird to think about, but it's really one of the most natural things in the world. It takes some getting used to and it's kind of a weird feeling at first, but it's really worth it," A shriek came from the other end of the phone and Annie sighed, "Okay, I'm sorry to cut you off, Ems, but I've got to discipline my children. Listen, I can come out there, if you want, at any time. Just say the word."
Emma looked at Will, who nodded, "Um, yeah, sure. You can come next week if you want, we've got thursday and friday off work and we're moving our furniture in tomorrow, so you can see the new place."
"That sounds great, Ems. I'll have to bring two kids with me, though. We've got a half and half rule, if someone's going out for more then two hours we split up the kids so we don't go nuts with all four of them. Which ones would you prefer me to bring?"
"The girls," She replied, perhaps a little too quickly as Annie giggled, "N-not that I don't like the boys—"
"I know, I know, they're a bit evil," Another scream was heard, "I'll call you again later. Love you!"
"Love you too, Annie." Will pulled Emma on top of him as she hung up, "Thank you for calling her." She kissed him lightly and traced a pattern on his cheek.
"Hey, she's here for you, Em, just as much as I am. Don't forget that." He hugged her tighter, knowing she was tired, he whispered, "Go to sleep, baby. We'll talk about it in the morning."
She shook her head against his chest, "I don't want to leave this hanging, Will. We need to talk about it."
"But there's no reason to be hysterical when we do—"
"I'm not hysterical, Will!" She nearly shouted, suddenly angry, "I just really think that the best thing to do right now is talk it out!" Emma crawled off of him and was about to storm into the bathroom to be alone for a moment, then realize that was the opposite of what she wanted.
"Em?"
"Oh, Will!" She let her anger subside and turned back to his arms, "I can't do this! I can't, I can't, I can't!" He didn't even know what to do at this point, "Will! I can't!"
He tilted her face up towards him and forced her to look him square in the eyes, "Emma, remember the day we found out? Remember? You were crying for hours and you were so worried about it. Then, then we talked and then...when you felt our baby girl for the first time, and you put your hand," He moved it lower, "Right here, you couldn't see her or feel her inside of you, but you knew, you knew she was there. And that was enough. It turned your whole way of thinking around. And then, then we knew we'd be okay. That we could get through this. Emma, honey, we know we can get though it," Will was crying at this point, pressing his forehead to Emma's, their tears laced together.
"Will," She breathed, collapsing into his arms.
"There we go," He moved them to the edge of the bed and allowed her to wipe his tears with her thumbs, "You were right, let's talk, Emma," She cleared her throat and mind of hysterics and allowed him to continue, "We've got to get our little girl out somehow."
"...Maybe I could lay an egg..." She muttered, meeting Will's eyes and giggling as he chuckled lowly.
"Oh, Emma. What did you think of the natural birth? It really didn't look as bad as they make it out to be in the movies."
"No, it wasn't...but, um..."
"Still scary, hm?"
She weaved her fingers together and sighed deeply, "Yeah. The head is just so...big and the opening is so...small."
"You seemed okay during that, though. It wasn't until they cut her open that you started to—"
"I know, I know. Just, hear me out." Emma placed her hands up in defense; Will softened and took one, "I read, online, that they can make you go to sleep for that one. I-I think that might be...easiest...for me."
Will paused and absorbed her thinking before putting together a counter-argument, "Okay, I understand. And Emma, I want you to pick which ever way you think you'll be most comfortable with. But," Emma's eyes flashed with recoil, "I want to ask you a question that you would ask me. Do you want to pick that option because it's easier for you? Or because it's what's best for her," His eyes drifted to her stomach.
Emma took a shuddery breath, contemplating his words. She hadn't considered her daughter's needs before her own; creating selfish mistake number one in what was soon to be a long list of parenthood regrets.
"I know that either way, it's going to be hard for you, Emma. We both know that, but we also both know just how strong you can be."
Swallowing hard, Emma found the guts to speak, "D-do you think I can do it?"
"I know you can do it," Will said with barely a beat between them.
He kissed her warmly, placing a hand on her upper thigh and the the other on her cheek, drawing more passion from the kiss as she adjusted their positions so she was in his lap, the flowing yellow skirt she had on slipped towards her hips and as Will took the kiss to the next level by sliding his tongue into her mouth, she pushed him back so he was on the bed and she was straddling his midsection.
He pulled away for a moment with a smile, staring at her lips while she observed his, "Yeah, you're strong enough."
Giggling, she returned to kissing him whilst reaching her hand up his shirt and dragging her fingernails along his abdomen.
"Emma," He moaned as she traced a finger around his navel, traveling lower until she was at the waistband of his boxers. When she squeezed him suddenly, Will's eyes flew open, "Em!"
"What?" She purred, continuing to make him squirm.
"Sweetheart," Will cupped her face, causing her eyelids to snap open fully. Her face flushed and she nestled into his palm, sighing.
"Sorry."
He kissed her lips softly and sweetly, "I don't mind. I just don't want to get to side tracked. Like you said, we really do need to discuss this."
She tumbled off of him and dragged him into the kitchen, where they could typically have a discussion without getting terribly frisky.
"Are you hungry?" Emma opened the refrigerator door and thought for a moment before pulling out what she would need to make her weekly batch of cookies for Will.
"You're deflecting again."
"Sweetheart," She held a slight tone of annoyance, "You were the one who said we should wait to discuss it. But you know what, you're right, I was thinking selfishly and I'm going to try my best to put our baby's needs before mine, from here on out."
"I never said you were being selfish," Will took a step closer, "I've said it before, you're one of the most selfless people I know, Emma. You just need to find a way to decide so you're taking both of your needs into consideration." Emma was quiet as she measured two-thirds of a cup of vegetable oil. Will sighed, "Emma, don't do this." He did not want to fight. Fighting with Terri had been awful, but it was the only way the former couple knew to solve their problems. Emma was typically much more reasonable and kept a clear head, open to other opinions then just hers. They had been living together for sixteen months and had yet to burst into more then a squabble. "Please say what's on your mind."
Finally, Emma's emotions were poured out, "I'm just scared. I'm really, really scared, Will."
He turned her to face him, feeling helpless as she did while watching her eyes pool up, "What are you so scared of, sweetheart? Please, just tell me. Everything that scares you about the birth and anything else on your mind."
She was flashing back to the day they discovered the pregnancy, the same feelings of impending failure and distress swept over Emma as Will cupped her once again tear-stained cheeks, "I'm going to be a bad mom! I can't even put her interests before mine and I haven't even had her yet! And I...what if we run out of money? Will, there's so many things—"
Will tightly held her again, shushing her and rubbing her back, "Alright, alright. You're okay, sweetheart."
Emma pulled away, tears continuing to cascade down her face, "Y-you were right. We need to talk about this when I'm not a hormonal mess," She abandoned her baking and went to their room, closing the door and sitting herself on the window bench, watching the spring sky darken.
X
Three hours later, Emma changed into night gown that at this point barely covered her hipbones and observed Will as he made eye-contact with her for the first time since her outburst, "Hey," She said quietly.
He stood next to her, kissing her forehead, "Hey."
"I'm sorry," She apologized, running a finger over his knuckles.
"Don't be."
Emma was suddenly smiling brightly, "I'm going to do it the natural way. For her."
Will glanced at her unsure, "E-Em, you don't have to decide right away, it's not going to happen until July and—"
"No Will, I'm sure of this. It's what's best for both of us. And I know you'll be there, and Will..you have gotten me through everything so far. Why should I think that you couldn't get me through this?"
He sat in her window seat and pulled her between his legs, lifting the sheer material of her gown over the bump, kissing it sweetly and rubbing the sides, "You have the best mommy in the world, baby girl," He said softly, "She's doing what's best for you and her, even if it scares her." Emma blushed and continued to watch the exchange, "She might be worried right now, but she's going to know just what to do with you once you're here. Don't let her fool you, she's going to be a great mother. And even though we might not be the richest people in the world, you will never go wanting anything, baby girl. We'll find a way to make it all work."
He placed another kiss to the smooth skin, then returned the fabric over the lump and kissed his wife hard on the mouth, "We're going to be okay, sweetheart."
Emma swallowed and nodded, "We are."
X
So, not where I wanted it, but at least it's done. Super sorry for the delay.
Thank you all so much for the reviews! It's helping to keep me motivated! (Been a long time since I've done a multi-chapter fic) and I'm going to take a moment to pimp my two one-shots, Puppy Love and Feels Like Tonight. Be sure to check them out!
Also, would you rather have more pre-baby fluff, or skip forward to the birth for chapter twelve. I've got outlines for both, but I want to know what you all want! Thank you again for reading!