"Anyways, if they can't take the boy away from him… I'm bringing Ludwig back home." Francis and Antonio stared at me with their eyes open wide.
"But, you remember what happened last time he—"
"Yes, but I can't let him just stick with someone else like that." I said interrupting Antonio. "Don't worry about it, it won't happen again." I smiled, but saw no trust in their eyes.
I could not lie to myself and nor them. What happened last time I tried to bring Ludwig back home almost ended with my life. I guess I'm not strong enough to fight with something that goes beyond my knowledge and power. I know his memories are stuck in his head, and I cannot erase them so easily. But, why he remembered something I erased? I erased it for my health. As a selfish person I didn't care how many it would affect him, I just vanished the memory, leaving it in the corner of my brain. What he said to me I guess he never told me anything when it happened. I couldn't believe that it was true but indeed it did happened.
Why I would erase something that could bring me relief sometimes? I mean, I didn't die. I am safe now, but that day was sure scary. It happened on November. No. August, but it was really cold. I went to visit Francis for a while, because he was sick and I wanted to cheer him up or just bother him. I went to his house and I left Ludwig at home. He was twelve or thirteen, but he was young. I stayed really late, so I made a phone call to Ludwig. He was fine, but scared. He said that he had a bad feeling, so that I should get back home earlier. I didn't hear him and I hung up.
I got drunk, obviously. Francis was sick, but the alcohol made him feel so much better. Antonio was not there, or if he was, I was too betrunken to notice. However, it was time to get back home, three in the morning or so. I got out of Francis home and drove until the police stopped me and obligated me to stay away from a supposed border. I told them that I had to get back because my young brother was home alone, but they didn't hear me. I had to stay on the other side even if I didn't want to. So, I stayed ten minutes discussing with the police, when I decided to cross on my own.
There were lots of persons building a kind of wall there, so I started jumping construction material, leaving my car behind. When I realized, I had crossed the hardest part. The men were just in the back of me when I felt something in my arm. It burnt it slowly, it hurt but I couldn't regret when I was near to the other side. When I looked at it I saw nothing but a big dark spot on my sweater. It was night, really dark night, so I couldn't see a lot. Another thing penetrating me, this time in my back. That shot pushed me to the floor leaving me unconscious.
When I woke up I was on a Hospital Bed. Since I was on the other side when they shot me, West was beside me, crying. His face was blushed and his nose was red as a tomato. I tried to speak but the breather didn't let me. Anyways, when Ludwig saw me awake, he just smiled. And that was everything to me. After that, our relationship changed radically, he blamed me every time I wanted to go somewhere else. I didn't reject the idea that it would happen again, but he was exaggerating.
The telephone interrupted my thoughts, making me get up from the sofa I was lying on. I answered, still shocked.
"Yeah?" I said reclining on the wall. "Who is this?"
"Gilbert?" West. His voice was trembling, or the line was failing. "Gilbert, is it you?"
"Of course am I! No one has an awesome voice like this one! How did you—"
"They gave me the number." He answered interrupting. "Gilbert, I'm cured." His voice made an infinite eco when I dropped the phone. He was cured! Everything I was hoping for was now real! I took the phone again.
"Ludwig! West! Really?!" I asked hitting the wall in despair. "Are you really cured?!"
"Uh… the excess of Testosterone made my brain work properly." He said almost laughing. "Could you pick me up, Gilbert?" he asked quite embarrassed.
"Could I?! West! I'm going for you in this moment!" I dropped the phone but then caught it. "Wait for me! I'm going, okay?!" He hung up before he could hear me. I ran to the door and took my car keys. Then got up in the car and drove the faster I could to the Special Place.
My cell phone started ringing.
"Hallo?!" I answered desperate.
"Mon cher, you aren't at home." Francis, Geez. "Would you explain to me why did you leave us at my place alone? We got drunk without you!"
"Francis. IDIOT! West is cured!" I shouted to him. "HE IS CURED!"
"Oh, Mon Dieu!" he said happy. "That means party tonight?! I will call Antonio, au revoir!" he hung up before I could say anything. Dammit, I wanted to be alone with West for a while.
Near the Special Place there was an accident. "Mein gott. Poor people." I thought passing without seeing anything; I was going too fast. I arrived. The building, as always, was illuminated with the sunlight.
I opened the door and stood in front of the desk in the lobby. A fat woman stared at me with a shit face that told me I had to have a weird face too.
"I came to pick up Ludwig Weillschmidt." I said drumming quickly on the desk. She nodded and called a nurse. She whispered something to the other and she smiled to me.
"Your brother is waiting on that room." She said pointing a room that had a pink stone with a smiley face. I ran to it and opened it. The light, sunlight, blinded me at first and I saw nothing but a big shadow. I carved my eyes, desperately to see my brother, when I saw clearly again. Feliciano was standing beside Ludwig, holding his hand.
"Get off—" I tried to say when Ludwig pushed me out of the room.
"I need to talk to you, bruder." He said closing the door behind him. "He is all I love." Diesen Worten brach mir. The last one destroyed my heart into million of pieces. I fell on my knees, watching how Ludwig opened the door again and the boy was standing there. Ludwig offered me his hand to pick me up, but I just stared at Feliciano. How he could stole my bruder in just three months?!
"Fuck you…" I muttered angry. "I wish you were dead." I took enough strength to get up and got out of there. I searched for my keys and when I tried to open the door, I broke crying resting on my car. Too many questions in my head, that was all. Jealous? Yeah, I was jealous. But I couldn't tell West, it will just make him laugh at me. I was too awesome to feel jealous, but if I was the only one who knew that I felt like that, there was no problem, right? Because, I could pretend not to be jealous… until someone could find out.
I was crying, insulting myself. I thought the worst: moving away, vanishing from earth. I dropped the keys by accident and I kneed down to pick them up when another person picked them up before me. West.
"Gilbert, listen to me." He said opening my car's door.
"Get away from me, West." I pushed him away.
"He is a good person it's just that—"
"…"
"FINE!" he shouted. "Then get back home and die alone!" he threw the keys to me. He hit my head with them and he got away. I stopped bothering with my bla's , but it was too late. I got on the car and drove back home. My tears blinded me sometimes, but the pride won, I was never going to apologize or accept Feliciano.
I opened the door slowly, sadly.
"Welcome Home~!" Francis and Antonio were waiting for us in there with a huge cake and a lot of beer.
"Where's Ludwig, huh?" Francis asked getting near to me.
"He… left me." I said closing the door.
"What do you mean?" he took me by my shoulders and pushed me to the couch. I sat.
"He… preferred Feliciano than me." I said leaning on the sofa.
"What a whore!" Francis shouted. "I mean, Feliciano not Ludwig." He smiled nervously and he went to my kitchen. He brought a jar and he poured beer in it; then he handed it to me.
"But why he preferred his lover than his brother? It's not logic." Antonio said shaking his jar. "Brothers are like… tomatoes." He said before drinking.
"Tomatoes?" Francis laughed. "Mon cher, he'll be back soon. You'll see. He's 20, he's young and stupid. When he realizes what he has done, he'll be back pleading and crying for your pardon." He said holding the martini in his hand.
"The last time," I shook my head, "I was the one crying."
"Oh, lo recuerdo." Antonio said pushing his chin with his middle finger. "Francis and you argued after that, because he had a lot to do in it. However, I think this is just… pasajero, you know? Soon or later he'll be regretting all of this."
"I don't think so." I said reluctantly, "Maybe I am the one who's wrong…" Francis and Antonio looked each other and patted my back.