The Disenchanted Ghost of You

By: gengen0776

Chapter notes: So this chapter catches you all up to where I am with posting on UnGen…new chapters should be up weekly or maybe even bi-weekly! Hope you are still enjoying this…If you are please let me know!

Chapter 5

"Whoa, kiddo," John whistled as he found her sitting on the ground against the siding of the Roadhouse's front façade, to the far left of the door. "Who knew such a lil' package could pack such a big punch!"

He leaned against the wall, sliding slowly down to sit next to her. She stared straight ahead, without responding, her hands resting upturned on her lap.

"I-I'm sorry for what you went through," he said softly as he gently took her right hand into his and surveyed the damage. Her bruised and bloodied knuckles were already beginning to swell. She continued to stare ahead, eyes with a far off look. "He really didn't have a choice," he added as he replaced her right and proceeded to gingerly lift her left hand to examine it.

"You're defending him?" she whispered as she continued to stare straight ahead. He could hear the disappointment in her voice. "I should have known you'd side with him...he's your friend." A weary sigh breezed from her lips as she turned to look at him.

"It's not like that," John insisted, hesitating at her betrayed gaze that settled on him. "I just...I don't see what he could have done differently."

"So, you would have done the same?" she demanded. "You would have lied to me and used me? You would have betrayed my trust and taken my baby from me?"

"I-I don't know," John replied honestly it was an impossible situation, the type of situation that you couldn't really know what you'd do until you were in it. What he did know was that Rowan was broken up about it. He knew the guilt would continue to eat away at his friend, the same as the hatred and pain would continue to eat away at Becca if they didn't deal with it. "What would you have done in his place?"

Becca was silent a moment and he could tell she was carefully considering her answer as she relived that pivotal moment in her life. "I-I would have helped, I would have hid me and the baby, or run away—"

"Where could you have run that Michael, or some other angel couldn't have found you?" John interrupted.

Becca sat silently, considering his words for a long moment. When she looked at him again her eyes were brimming with tears. "It's not fair," she sobbed. "I did everything they asked and they still took him from me...why?" she breathed, tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she shivered against the cold Nebraska morning. John wrapped his left arm around the girl, ignoring the searing pain in his side as he held her close.

They sat like that for a long moment, until her sobbing quieted and they were both shivering from cold creeping up from the frozen ground beneath them. "C'mon let's get those cuts cleaned up and some ice on those knuckles of yours, slugger," John sighed, slowly making his way to his feet with a groan. He extended his hand to Becca to help her up. "Then we can get some breakfast."

"Not hungry," she murmured, closing her eyes as she swayed next to John.

"Seriously, Red," John insisted as he lace him arm around her waist to steady her. "When's the last time you had a decent meal?" Becca opened her eyes, giving him an irritated look and John wasn't sure if it was because he'd called her Red or because he was forcing the issue. Maybe it was both. "'Cause I know it's been a while for me and Ellen is a great cook."

"Gotta go get my stuff, Johnny," Becca sighed, stepping away from him. "So ya gonna lend me your truck, or should I hitchhike back there to get it?" she asked, turning slowly to face him.

"How about…we take care of your hands and get a bite first?" John countered, arching his eyebrow with a look that let her know he wasn't trying to talk her out of going. "I'll drive ya where ever ya want, just let's get ya fed first." He watched her reaction, knowing he'd won as she heaved a weary sigh.

"Fine, I could use some coffee."

Rowan stared at his reflection for a long moment, studying the cuts and abrasions that Becca had inflicted. Running the hot water in the sink below he used a moistened wad of paper towel to wipe away the blood that stained his face. Noticing as he did that the wounds had already begun to heal. He wished he could somehow slow the healing, knowing he deserved so much worse.

"So, this was yer Christmas present to yourself then?" Ellen's words rung in Rowan's ears reminding him of what he'd been trying to forget. Christmas had a way of reminding Rowan of how much his presence could negatively affect people's lives and why it was best that he keep his distance. Genevieve's death on Christmas morning would weigh on his conscience eternally. Knowing that his one night with the woman he loved had pushed Killeon to kill her.

Then he'd allowed himself to get close again, meeting the young guardian carrying a very special child within her womb. Michael had clearly stated his purpose, watch and protect; no contact. Somehow, he never could follow orders. Well, I was protecting her, he reasoned as he remembered the night he'd stepped in and saved her from a mugger on her way home from the little diner where she worked.

"I could have taken him," he chuckled softly as he remembered her false bravado. Anyone else might have been fooled, but he could hear her racing heart beat and smell her fear. If I had stayed away…if I'd somehow saved her without her seeing me…without her ever meeting me, Rowan found himself wondering as he stared at his reflection. Would it have made things easier?

With a sigh he tossed the paper towel into the bin on the far wall and turned off the water before leaving the bathroom. He paused at the entry to the bar as he watched Ellen, with her first aid kit open, tending to Becca's injured hands.

"Ouch!' Becca hissed as Ellen disinfected the cuts on the knuckles of her right hand.

"That's what you get for hitting a vampire," Jo teased as she handed a bandage to her mother.

"Yeah," Becca chuckled scornfully. "He's probably already healed up from it, too."

"Ya know, I got a machete back here," Ellen informed as she secured the bandages on Becca's right hand with some medical tape. "We could make quick work of him," she added with a grin, causing Becca and Jo to laugh.

"Nah, it's not his fault I have anger issues," Becca assured with a shrug. "I mean he could've handled it differently, maybe, but it wouldn't have changed anything…It would have happened no matter what he did." She looked up, noticing Rowan standing at the threshold of the bar's main area. "See, told ya he'd already be healed up and lookin' handsome again," she added as she met his gaze and smiled tentatively.

Rowan felt his heart clench as he realized that she understood, that on some level she forgave him. He looked away, casting his gaze down at the beaten wood floor beneath his feet. He knew she would never be able to forgive him completely. His betrayal was too great for that. Besides how could she forgive him when he couldn't forgive himself? "How're your hands?" he asked, without looking up.

"A little sore," Becca admitted as Ellen wrapped her left hand. "Won't heal up as fast as you, but I've been through worse," she replied lightheartedly, cringing as she realized that he would probably misinterpret her words. "I'll be good as new in no time," she amended.

Rowan nodded, continuing to stare down at the ground with unnatural interest. "I-I've gotta take care of…something," he mumbled, quickly moving toward the door. "John," he breathed as he passed the hunter. Pulling the door open, he waited for John to follow him outside before continuing. "I'm goin' ta get her things," he announced. "I don't want her going back there alone."

"Was planning on takin' her after break—"

"You're not exactly in top shape…what if things get hairy?" John nodded, sighing wearily as he glanced back at the door. "Besides, me and Ray, I feel like we built a rapport last night…think I can draw on that."

"A rapport eh?" John grinned.

"Yeah, John, you know me…I'm a real people person," Rowan chuckled, patting John's shoulder.

"Uh, hey, Rowan?" John said, sounding preoccupied. He grabbed the vampire's arm as he turned to leave. "Should I be worried? I mean your blood did mix with hers back there."

"Nah, it'll be at least a week before she turns," Rowan replied with a shrug and turned leave again.

"You sonuvabitch!" John growled, launching himself at the vampire. He threw Rowan against the hood of his car, fisting his shirt collar with his left hand. "How could you do that to her?" John demanded, readying his right fist to strike the vampire in the face. "I should k—"

"Kill me? Yeah I wish…Relax, John," Rowan chuckled. "I gotta bite the person to turn'em…and I would never let that happen," he added his voice serious as the smile slid from his face. "Not to her…not to anyone."

John heaved a sigh, attempting to calm himself before reentering the Roadhouse. If he didn't know that his friend couldn't die, he would have thought he had a death wish. Rowan was one of those people who knew how to push other people's buttons. How could he even joke about something like that? John wondered, holding his injured side as he pushed the door open. Pain seared in his side and he knew that somewhere between comforting Becca and slamming Rowan into his car he had ripped at least a couple of stitches.

"Johnny, you okay?" Becca's concerned voice sounded in his ear and John wondered if she'd been watching from the window.

"M'okay," John assured, forcing a wan smile. He felt the wetness beneath his fingers as the continued to clutch his side. "Just pulled a couple of stitches," he added with a shrug. He looked up, his gaze meeting Ellen's as she watched the exchange from the bar.

"Why don't ya c'mon out back and I can check those for ya?" Ellen called from the bar, motioning for him to follow her as she picked up the first aid kit and moved to the backroom door. "Jo, honey, why don't you start bringing out breakfast, this'll only take a couple minutes."

"C'mon Becca, you can help me set the table," Jo coaxed as Becca stared after John.

Rowan smiled smugly as he pulled up to the Roadhouse less than two hours later. Ray had been extremely cooperative when Rowan had burst into the warehouse and found him sleeping on a leather couch in the upstairs office. He all-but threw Becca's bag to Rowan when the vampire had asked for it. Of course Rowan was baring his fangs at the poor guy at the time. It had been utterly unnecessary, but Rowan had wanted to amuse himself and put the fear of God, or maybe the devil, in the scumbag.

He chuckled as he recalled the terrified look on Ray's face. He'd half expected him to pass out or pee himself, but Ray had managed to keep it together long enough to give him Becca's stuff and watch him leave. However once the door close behind him, Rowan had heard the man break down, weeping like a child and whispering his thanks to God.

Things had gone so smoothly with Ray that Rowan had time to call in a favor and do some Christmas shopping before heading back to the Roadhouse. A red satchel containing the gifts now sat next to Becca's belongings on the passenger's seat. Taking on the responsibility of repossessing her belongings was a small thing compared to what he'd taken from her, but Rowan was determined to do whatever he could to make amends no matter how long it took.

As he turned into the small lot in front of the Roadhouse the smile slid from his face. Standing in the corner farthest from the bar was the last person Rowan wanted to see. Stopping inches from the man, Rowan cut the engine and sat glaring at him a long moment before grabbing up Becca's belongings and the gifts and sliding from the car.

"What the hell are you doin' here, Michael?" Rowan spat, slamming the car door and rounding the front of his car where the angel stood.

"It's time," Michael replied cryptically. His arms were crosses against his muscular chest as he looked a Rowan expectantly.

"Right now?" Rowan shook his head in disbelief. "I can't leave yet…I have to fix things with Becca." Rowan turned to glance back at the Roadhouse. "Do you have any idea how messed up she is because of what we did…what you made me do?" Rowan demanded, meeting the angel's steely gaze.

"We all have our crosses to bear," Michael replied, his face remaining stoically unchanged by the mention of their betrayal of Joshua's first guardian. "Your cross is a helluva lot larger than most."

Rowan flinched at the reminder of his greatest betrayal and the damnation that it had ensued. He knew he was cursed to live forever, watching what his grievous actions had done to humanity. Was it really necessary for Michael to remind him every chance he got? "I just need to know she understands…then maybe she can forgive—"

"Becca Sinclair's forgiveness is not the one you should be worrying about," Michael interrupted matter-of-factly. "Now, you have a job to do," he continued after a moment's pause. "It's time for you to find Jacob Samuels. His faith has been shaken and watching over Joshua will renew it."

"So, where is this Samuels guy and what's his story?" Rowan asked with a resigned sigh. He glanced over his shoulder, checking that no one had noticed his impromptu meeting as Michael quickly gave him the details of Joshua's next guardian.