Disclaimer: I own my laptop, my dog, and I like to pretend I own my brother, but I don't own Alex Rider……. humph….

AN: I just want thank everyone for reviewing! I'm sooooooooooo sorry this is so late! Really, I am. I had all these tests in school-yeah I know, being a teenager sucks, tell me about it- so yea……. BUT REALLY, I'm sorry…….. : )

Me: Oh Alexandra!

Alex: Yes?

Me: Guess who we're doing!

Alex: Not me….. ???

Me: You're getting warmer…..

Alex: -sighs-

Me: No, now you're getting colder.

Alex: Hm, are they blunt?

Me: Nope! That's colder.

Alex: So they're hot? Hmmm, that girl from my ninth period English class?

Me: No, that's me. And since I live on a completely different continent from this person, you just got ten times colder!

Alex: …. well aren't I on fire! I can't-

Me: FIRE! Now you're burning!

Alex: Firefighters?

Me: -smacks forehead- No you idiot! Jack, your best friend!

Alex: How does fire relate to….. oh. I see. Her hair………

12 Jobs Jack Should Not Try… or think about….. or dream about…..

Five star chef: Yeah, that'll work out. And today ladies and gentlemen, our special is peanut butter and jelly and mac and cheese. Buon appetite!

Broadway star: Popular! You're gonna be popularrrrrr! I'll teach you- …. Uh oh. Wait, what are the words again?

Hairstylist: Well, maybe she could do this after she dyes her hair a normal colour.

Zoo keeper:

Jack: And here are the tigers. Be sure not to bug, irritate, or even come close to them. It may result in a fatal manner.

Little girl: Can I pet it?

Jack: You want to pet a tiger?

Little girl: -nods head- uh huh….

Jack: Well, sure…. I guess…. you're not my kid.

Fanfiction addict: If this got people money, I think we'd all be rich.

Jack: Z-O-M-G! No way!

Alex: What?

Jack: You wouldn't understand…… -shakes head- It's a fanfic thing.

1 Shoemaker:

Jack: What size are?

Little European Boy: Um, a 42.

Jack: Holy crow, you have HUGE feet!

-Alex appears out of nowhere-

Alex: Um Jack, he's European….

Jack: Riiiiight.

2 A pinball wizard: She's a pinball wizard, she has to have a trick! A pinball wizard…….

Apple Engineer:

Apple Employee: And ladies and gents, you can even move yours apps wherever you want. There all kinds of apps. There are entertainment ones, there are sports ones, there are different sports ones, there are reading and educational ones, there are action ones, ther-

Jack: Oh for Christ sake! Get on with it! Oh, don't you look at me like that. I have to listen to this 20 times a day! I quit! You know why??? Because I hate apples. Not just the electronic ones, but the real ones.

Voice over actor for Spongebob Squarepants: The best time to where a stripped sweater, is all the tiiiiiime. One with a collar, turtle neeeck, that's the kiiiind. CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE WEARRING…. That one… special… swea-ter.

OCD Photographer: Okay, move your head a little to the left… NO…. um, lift up your chin…. Yea, that looks good. If you close one eye….. and turn around…

Teacher in training:

World Geography teacher: Okay class, today we are going to learn about Djibouti.

Jack: Djibouti! Where the hell is that?

Student: ….. up your-

Mum: ….. poor poor kids….. I truly would feel bad for them.

Me: Ohhhh Alex!

Alex: Yes?

Me: WE FINISHED THE CHAPTER!

Alex: Took you long enough….

Me: I'm going to get Wolf.

Alex: Why…..??

Me: To hurt you for being soooo mean.

Alex: -hidden in corner with his hands over his head- Well good luck to him. He'll never find me here!!! Mwuahahahahha!

Me: ……………… well, okay then! R&R people! Or I'll get Wolf to eat you….. yea….