Disclaimer: How I yearn to own Alex Rider…. at least I'm his wife. Also, I do not own the part I used from the Lorax by Dr. Seuss.

Okay…. So I didn't get many reviews for last chapter, but that's okay. Thanks for all who did review!!!! You are amazing: randomness6, hollyblue2, and Saymorian.

Also, I want to thank my friend Wolfie (yes, I actually call her that. She calls me Cub. Does she have any idea about Alex Rider??? No…. that's why I find it hysterical. She came up with 3 of the jobs for this chapter. Everyone say thank you to Wolfie!!!!

Anyway…. here is chapter 4. Enjoy, because I am going on a trip for a little more than a week and won't be able to update… I think.

Me: Did you know that Rubix cubes are hard???

Alex: You are very random.

Me: I love your English accent! ^__^

Alex: Again with the randomness! And you're the one with the accent, not me.

Me: Well since were in America, you have the accent.

Alex: We are NOT in America.

Me: Yes, we are.

Alex: Nah uh.

Me: Fine, you're in England and I'm in Italia…. fair???

Alex: Wait, if it's Italy we're talking about then I'm with you one hundred percent.

Me: Well, you said we were in England which means you are in England which means that you are not in Italia where I am but you are with me so I think that leads us both back to America.

Alex: I hate America.

Me: You're just jealous because we have Billie Joe Armstrong and Matt Damon.

Alex: I have Matt Damon on my television.

Me: Well he's my neighbor!

Alex: But if I'm with you, isn't he my neighbor too?

Me: -dumbstruck- wait…… I LIVE IN A BOOK NOW?!?!

Alex: No, I came out of the book and married you remember?

Me: Ooooooo right! Wait….. no………

Alex: So anyway, today we are doing me.

Me: No, today we are doing Harris, Tom Harris.

Tom: Yeeeeah!!!!!

Alex: Fuck you Tom! Fuck you!

Me: Alex, that was mean. Get in your cage.

Alex: My cage?????

-Alex magically appears in a cage-

Fang from Maximum Ride: -smirks-

Me: ZOMG!!!! It's Fang and Alex Rider at the same time!!!! My life just got a whole lot better…… and worse since I'm cheating on you both for the other, but that's okay. So on with the story….. –runs away from rabid fictional characters carrying torches wanting to kill me because I cheated on them-

Tom Harris….. 10 jobs he could try and never succeed at:

Cartoonist: Stick figures do not interest a lot of people.

Tattoo Artist: see above

Tom: Here is my selection of designs –show man-

Man with a bunch of tattoos and muscles: Not much to chose from boy.

Tom: I recommend the stick figure with the bow in its hair. Or the stick figure with the sneakers. Or the fat one. Or the skinny one.

Honestly, I don't know what someone would say to that. I'd be like #$% you, you psycho #$# and hold up the bird and tell them I was going to LA Ink.

Librarian:

Tom reading to a bunch of little kids:

"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees."

Not so long ago, in a land not so far away lived the Lorax. He was the guardian of the Truffula trees, Swomee-Swans, Brown Bar-ba-loots, and the Humming Fish. The land was pristine. The Brown Bar-ba-loots enjoyed everyday eating Truffula fruit and dancing around in their bar-ba-loot suits.

Little boy: -falls over snoring-

Assassin: Duhnuhnuhnuh… -rolls around on floor hold hands together like a gun-

Actor:

Female actress: Oh John! I knew you'd come! –leans in to kiss Tom-

Tom: I could get used to this-starts making out with girl-

The devils assistant: Mwuahaha

Worker at an asylum: This one is actually scary. Hmmm, maybe I can make that a story…. Ahhh, yes. I shall do so.

Karate teacher:

Student: Hiya! –breaks wood-

Tom: backing awaaaaay from the strong child…. Backing away.

Rockstar: Tom would be the rockstar that would stage dive and not get caught…… tehehe

Person who stays with detectives and takes all their notes:

Detective: Why are all my notes drawings of girls boobs!!!???

Tom: Not true! One is of a squirrel.

Me: Chapter 4? Done!

Alex: Yes. One chapter closer to mine.

Me: Che dobbiamo fare adesso????

Alex: Festa!!!!

Me: Si! Revisione per favore!!!! ^__^

Alex: Si si!!!

Me: Vous parlez francais???

Alex: Oui!

Me: Je n'aime pas….un peu.

Alex: Bien!

Me: Skomentowales mnie! -gasps-

Alex: Co?????

Me: And we're back to English! Yeeeeah!

Alex: …. Well, please review.

Me: And be nice, or I'll curse you out in Italian…. Well, no…. but I could!

Alex: Ciao!!!!! ^__^