Disclaimer: It would be cool to own Alex Rider....... when I dominate the world, then I'll make sure I own him. For now, a picture shall do.

AN heyy. Im so sorry this took forever. I went on a trip and then i was- well still am- sick so I havent been able to' update. Hope you enjoy.

Also, I want to thank everyone who reviewed! Thank you toKitskuneMiyakefor some ideas.

Me: -walking on tippy toes to wake up Alex-

Alex: snooooooring..... memememe. Snooooooring .... memememe.

Me: -clashes two symbales together-

Alex: ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Wtf?!?!

Me: Buingiorno!!!!! Come stai????

Alex: orribile. Che altro c'è di nuovo?

me: yeah, you're always grumpy. Tehehe

Alex: -glares daggers-

me: today is a very big day. You wanna know why?

Alex:were doing me????? : )

Me: of course not silly. siete troppo divertenti!

Alex: -sighs- then why? Who are we doing that is just sooooo important?! I mean whoooooo could it be? Not me. Noooo, of course not!

me: youre just jelous because todays pick is Yassen. Opps! I spilled that one. Whoops.

alex: Are you serious? Oh yes! He killed for a living, he killed my uncle, he almost killed me AND sent me to' my almost death. Yes, he is indeed important.

me: glad you agree. Now lets get on with this! Andiamo!

6 Jobs Yassen Shound NEVER Have

Owner of a Tea House: You know those places you go to' have a tea party??? Gosh that would be so sad. Yassen in a little pink frilly dress serving tea.

Daycare runner:

Yassen: Alright, naptime little children.

Little boy: But it's only 10 o' clock in the morning! We just got here!

Little girl: Yeah! Please Mr. –gives Yassen puppy dog eyes-

Yassen: -takes out two guns- Who wants to question me now? Anyone? Annnyone?

Little Boy: Are those reeeeal guns?

Judge on American Idol:

Randy (tehehe… randy): Yo dog. I just don't think you got it. Ya know?

Cara: Oh sweetie, maybe singing just isn't your thing…. Oh no don't cry!

Ellen: Hmmm. Ehhhhh. Ummmmmm.

Simon: What the hell was that? Seriouslly, that was absolutely atrocious!

Yassen: -shoots singer- Now that that is taken care of……

Bodyguard for Alex: If Yassen was Alex's bodyguard I think they would spend all their time a) fighting, or b) having sex. It's either one or the other. They either love each other or hate each other.

Sooooo

Option A:

Alex: You!? You're my bodyguard!? Oh oh NO! Not happening…. Ever.

Yassen: Little Alex, I shall train you and together we will rule the world! MWUAHAHA!

Alex: I'll never work for you! –cue heroic music-….. wait a sec. How are you alive???

Yassen: Maaaagic! And if you won't work for me willingly, I'll force you!

Alex: NEVER!

Or

Option B

Alex: Oh Yassen. I don't know how I could ever hate you. Please please, promise you'll never leave me again.

Yassen: I promise. –starts making out with Alex-

Alex: -starts unbuttoning Yassen's shirt- Dang, you have one fine eight pack!

Advertiser:

Yassen: It's fresh, it's new, it's Teen Spirit Deodorant! Go out and get some… or else. –opens jacket to show lots of killing utensils and a gun- Have a nice day!

CIA Agent:

Boss of the CIA: Okay everyone, listen up. Your job is to infiltrate the building and get those files! Do not get caught!

Yassen: Can't we just kill everyone??? Is it just me, or does that seem a whole lot easier?

Alex: Only 6? Come on, you can do better than that!

Me: I know, I know. I just wanted to get something out quick.

Alex: Excuses, excuses.

Me: Whatever. If you don't stop I'll infect you with my sick germs!

Alex: You can't touch me.

Me: Wanna bet?

Alex: You're on!

Me: -snaps fingers-

Alex: -in a cage in front of me- What?

Me: Don't mess!

Alex: Excuse me! That was uncalled for. You get me out-

Me: Sir, do not get loud with me! Do not get loud with me!

Alex: Well excuuuse me! But are you the one in a cage right now?

Me: SECURITY!!!!