AN: Okay so FF(dot)net hates the dividers I've been putting in and told me to go screw myself I had to go through all of my chapters and make sure it wasn't completely disorienting reading the scenes (because it disoriented the hell out of me and I wrote the damn thing). I'm kinda sorta really annoyed by it but whatever.
I think in another story someone mentioned that I write Sasuke slightly OOC(it was the second chapter of Ruby Slide, and it was done on purpose because Sasuke was pissed so he was cursing a lot). I am sure folks will think the same in the upcoming scenes. I usually base Sasuke's personality on the basic features and then try to think about how he would be if he were in the AU situation I'm putting him in. Like, take this Sasuke and then go read chapter 3 of The Life of a Prodigy and there's a huge difference. I dunno why but I always end up making him curse a lot when angry. Personally, I like tinkering with the personalities, especially if I get giggles from it. Sasuke made me giggle lots writing this. :D
3
"He's avoiding you?" Uchiha Mikoto, aka 'Mama-chan', sounded slightly worried "Are you sure he's not just busy?"
There was a small pause over the phone "He won't respond to my e-mails and whenever I call the first time it will ring and go to voice mail and then after that straight to voice mail. Mama-chan, is…Itachi-niisan angry with me?"
The Uchiha matriarch resisted the urge to sigh. Her sons really could be a handful sometimes "I don't believe at all that he's upset with you Hinata-chan. He probably really is busy; I haven't heard much from him either."
"W-well…" Hinata sounded very distraught "it's been almost four months…"
Oh dear. She wasn't going to tell Hinata but the girl's suspicions were correct, her eldest son was avoiding her. But why? The last time she had spoken to him he hadn't seemed to be angry with Hinata, merely confused in regards to his feelings for her. It made her sad; Itachi's life had been rather rigid and cold with the exception of Sasuke and little Hinata. Professionally, he was outstanding; personally, her son was socially stunted. He was always too distrustful of others to let his guard down, a result of years of individuals trying to use and manipulate him because he had been young and a genius. Itachi had a very small comfort zone concerning people in his life and the man simply refused to allow anyone else within those boundaries. It wasn't even something he was intentionally doing, he was just being himself.
"Have you talked to Sasuke about it?"
"M-maybe I should…" she sounded heartbroken. "Sasu-kun might know something…I don't know." There was a shaky sigh "Mama-chan, I have such a bad feeling about all of this…I wish he would at least say something, even if it's to tell me he's upset."
Mikoto was silent, going over her options. She could try and talk to Itachi herself to get to the bottom of things, but even prior and right after Hinata had left he had made it rather clear he didn't want to delve too deeply into the mystery that was his feelings for the girl. Both of her sons were stubborn.
Meaning that she was going to have to 'Play Dirty'.
"Call Sasuke." Mikoto advised firmly "Tell him what's going on. Everything. If anyone can get to the bottom of this, it's him."
"Th-thank you Mama-chan…I'll do that now."
"Goodbye sweetie." Flipping her cell phone closed she sighed. While Hinata had put on a brave front for her she would not do so with Sasuke. She was very worried and upset, meaning that she would probably end up crying. If there was one thing her sons hated it was hearing their little sister cry. Usually the end result was something violent, especially if Sasuke was involved.
She just hoped things wouldn't get too far out of hand. Her oldest was a pacifist by nature but her youngest had always been rather rough around the edges. He was also irritated about the situation between Hinata and Itachi, which would only make things worse. Sasuke loved Hinata, or rather, had until he had met Ino. He had been happy when the two of them had started dating and things had gone rather well for that year. It had always been obvious that Hinata had held some sort of crush on her oldest son since she was a little girl, but everyone had believed that it was one-sided. Itachi was much older after all and he treated her no differently than he always had.
Somehow, Sasuke had found out the truth. Then he made a decision, which was to let Hinata go. His reasoning being that if she loved Itachi and he loved her, they deserved to be together. That was why he was the one who needed to hear of the situation. More than likely, this would be the straw that broke the camel's back for her youngest. He had put aside his feelings for his older brother, hoping that since the two of them held feelings for each other they could be happy. More than likely, now he would be feeling as if he had wasted his time and Sasuke did not like wasting his time.
Her children were such a mess sometimes.
xxxxx
What was wrong with him?
Slender fingers pause over the keyboard, their owner blinking a few times in confusion. It kept happening, these gaps in his routine. He would be sitting and doing work and then a moment later he would blink and ten or twenty minutes had passed by and he couldn't at all remember what he had been thinking about or even doing for that matter. Was he going into some sort of trance? It had even happened during a board meeting the other week, which was why today was his last day in the office.
Fugaku had ordered him to take a three week vacation, as blanking out in the middle of an important meeting wasn't something he wanted to continue to deal with. Even now he seemed to be in a sort of daze-like state, his mind thinking about everything and nothing.
Leaning back in his chair, the older Uchiha sibling pinched the bridge of his nose. Was his stress finally getting to him? The past few months he has been drowning himself in his work and sleep had become difficult for him. Often he would become irritated and he would have no idea why. He felt strangely detached; perhaps that was the reason for the blank outs? No, more than likely it truly was the stress of overworking.
Where in the world was he going to go for a vacation? He wasn't exactly a man who liked to go out and mingle, he had always been content to stay within the confines of his own home, reading or relaxing. Of course, he had been forbidden to spend his vacation in his apartment because, and it was true, he would simply start working from home. Okinawa perhaps? Spain? Italy? He had yet to visit Rome and he had always wanted to visit the historical sites; history had always been a subject he thoroughly enjoyed.
He was musing over his options for his forced vacation when his door to his office slammed open, revealing his younger brother. Sasuke was flushed and slightly out of breath…he was also angry. Very angry.
Has something happened? Concerned, Itachi's brows furrowed as he slowly stood from his chair and began closing the distance. "Sasuke?" he tilted his head slightly "Is everything alright?"
His brother had locked the door, denoting the seriousness of the situation, and walked towards him, his expression grim. He reached Itachi.
And then he punched him in the jaw.
Staggering back, the older brother's eyes widen in astonishment. He was so stunned that he was struck speechless. Itachi couldn't remember the last time the two of them actually physically fought each other. Had they ever? Training and sparring obviously didn't count but…
Then the wind was knocked out of him as his brother collided into him and the men went tumbling to the ground. Teeth snapped painfully as the back of his head hit the floor hard. At this point instinct kicked in; hands snapped out and grabbed onto Sasuke's shirt. With his legs he throws the younger sibling over his body and is almost instantly up on his feet, slightly crouched.
His brother flipped up on his feet and then the two crashed onto the floor again, Itachi not wanting to actually fight his brother. His confusion is evident but his little brother wasn't saying anything, he just glared.
Sasuke tried to pin his brother down, but Itachi was stronger and faster. Although he hasn't practiced in a while, his body still remembers and within seconds he has the younger brother pinned, one hand at his throat to keep him still. He takes a moment to regain his breath before he speaks.
"Sasuke," he begins "what in the world –"
"You." The younger brother spat, pushing at his brother. Itachi grabbed Sasuke's arm as he moved to his feet, pulling the other male up. Sasuke snatched his arm out of his brother's grip "Are an asshole. Did you forget the promise we made, the one you came up with?" aggravated, he shoved a hand through his hair. After a pause his eyes snapped back up at his brother "Get over whatever the fuck your phobia is about Hinata, it's past the point of ridiculousness, Itachi.
Lightly rubbing his jaw, the older brother frowned. Why was did it always come back to this? It was irritating, he was tired of it, tired of everyone trying to force him into doing something.
Calm down. You haven't been sleeping and you're stressed. He reasoned with himself Don't get angry.
He took a small breath before responding "Has mother put you up to this?" he asked "I've already explained –"
"Don't." the younger snaps at him "I don't get it, brother, I really don't." a scowl "You love her, you know she loves you, what the hell is your problem? Why do you keep pushing her away? And no, mom didn't put me up to this, but she's really worried and stressed out. This has to stop. Tell me, right here, right now, why?"
Taking control over his emotions, Itachi tried to think. Something significant happened to make his brother lash out like this; Sasuke didn't just go around attacking people for no reason. Once again he tried to explain himself "For one," he began "there's the rather large gap between us in ages…"
"Itachi!" his little brother truly was at his wits end "Hinata. Is. Not. Fifteen. Anymore. She hasn't been fifteen for seven years. She's in her twenties and you are not that much older than us." He crossed his arms, glowering at him "Alright, so you found out at twenty years old that you held more than brotherly feelings for your fifteen year old adoptive sister," Itachi stiffened at this, how did Sasuke… "you freak out because you want to sleep with the girl you've known half of, at the time, your life. So what?"
"I'm not sure if you've realized this," the older Uchiha said, his voice low. He was angry, very angry, but he knew it was only because Sasuke was telling the truth he had tried to deny and lock away ever since he had first experienced it. "but men who hold relationships with minors tend to go to jail, for statutory rape no less. Not to mention the fact that entertaining such a scenario at those ages is appalling and wrong. Those thoughts, those feelings…they never should have existed to begin with. I was a grown man pining after a child barely into high school. Were it anyone else, it would be considered disgusting and abhorrent."
Once more he tried to calm himself by breathing evenly. There, those words…those damnable words that he had never spoken aloud were out. Thinking it was one thing, saying it out loud, it only brought back the disgust and shame he had felt then with a sickening force.
"Fine, whatever, but the fact is you didn't do anything about it," Sasuke countered "and it's stupid to look at it like that; you weren't a pedophile, you just grew feelings for a girl you'd known since you were ten. It wasn't like you were some sick fucking stalker or whatever. The three of us grew up together, even when Fugaku was carting you around everywhere like some sort of prized trophy because you were a genius we still all managed to play together at that time. Before Hinata, you had never smiled, hell, you barely spoke unless spoken to. Then she showed up and mom started using that as an excuse to get you to have some semblance of a fucking childhood since Fugaku wasn't. You started smiling; you started talking, for a little while you got to be a kid with us.
"You were the one who made that deal with the Hyuuga's to keep Hinata because we were all tired of seeing the effects of the abuse she had been getting at home. You were the one that made me promise that we'd look out for her; especially when you got older because Fugaku forced you to become more involved with the company. You were never happy unless the three of us were together, why is it so surprising that you'd fall for her after a while? Everybody knew about the crush I had on her when we were kids. The only difference between you and me is that I grew out of it. You didn't; instead the feelings got deeper. Why is that such a big deal?"
"I've already given you my reasons, regardless of how long I had known her, it didn't change the fact that she –"
"Whatever." Sasuke cut off "Okay fine, you were a fucking pervert for three years, happy now?" the older Uchiha flinched slightly "I don't know if you've noticed it or not but Hinata's been legal for oh…I'd say four years now? So, what's the hold up?"
Itachi did not respond because he had no answer. It was the same question he had been asking himself every now and then for a while, but had always come up blank. He didn't know why he had kept denying it and refusing to deal with it; it was simply that dwelling on it felt wrong to him, feeling that way still felt wrong to him. Hinata was his little sister; the little girl whose smile he had wanted to protect because her presence had enabled him to actually live a little those few years before Fugaku had snatched him up at fifteen. He had always loved her, but it had been platonic. When it became more it had been…devastating. Upsetting.
"You want to know what your problem is?" Sasuke spoke up, making sure he had his brother's full attention "The problem is that when you realized that you fell for her, time stopped for you. No matter how old Hinata got, you still saw a fifteen year old and it kept freaking you the hell out. When's the last time you've actually looked at her? If I asked you the image that comes to mind when you think about her, I'd bet my yearly salary you'd see a fifteen year old girl, not twenty two year old woman."
"I'm not blind Sasuke, I'm well aware that she's –"he paused, stunned. Just now, he had tried to picture Hinata. The first image that came to mind was a young girl in her school uniform, smiling brightly. He tried then to picture Hinata just before she had left to go abroad. The clothing she had worn the night she had told him the news were correct, but the girl was shorter, had a rounder face and looked much younger. He continued going in his mind over and over Hinata over the years after the age of fifteen, but every single image, every memory – and he had a photographic memory – was of her at fifteen. It was as if she had never aged, even though logically that was impossible.
Something flew at him and he caught a small dark object. Sasuke's wallet. The owner inclined his head "There's a picture of me, Nata-chan, and mom that was taken just before she left. Does she look like a fifteen year old to you?"
Opening the wallet he immediately saw the picture, it was in one of the side pockets, slightly rough around the edges. They were at a park; Sasuke was in the middle with his arms around his mother and Hinata, unsmiling of course. Their mother was smiling, but it looked tired and slightly strained, a standard expression for her now unfortunately. Hinata however…
She came just barely up to Sasuke's shoulder and she was standing properly, slightly leaning against his younger brother. Her hair was a little longer, just a bit past her lower back, and her body looked…different. Matured. While her face had lost the roundness of childhood it was not slender either. Her skin was still pale, the small blush dusting across her cheeks highly visible because of it. She was smiling warmly but the woman he was looking at didn't feel like Hinata. This person was clearly a fully grown woman with the same kind eyes and gentle smile.
Why couldn't he remember her looking like this? As a girl she had been pretty, as a woman she held a rather classic beauty; not gorgeous, not ugly, just beautiful.
Sasuke was…absolutely right. Because he had felt so wrong about holding feelings for her back then his mind had seemed to 'lock' onto that image. He began to associate her with those feelings and had stopped seeing her in a realistic light. She had kept trying to become closer and he had recoiled, disgusted with himself for reacting to her. Hinata had never once complained but it had been obvious that their relationship was not as carefree and light hearted as before. He had stopped being able to fully relax around her and she began to dance around him verbally so as not to upset him in response. She had tried to reestablish the easy camaraderie they had shared when they had been children and he had distanced himself from her. He could only imagine what she believed his thoughts were on her since she had no idea as to why he had basically cut her out of his life slightly. Why in the world was the girl still in love with him? She had to have believed that he somewhat disliked her or that she had done something wrong for the past seven years.
Not that it mattered anymore.
He tossed the wallet back and sighed "Alright little brother I'll admit it, everything you've said about me is true. However, trying to say that I should be with her when she clearly has moved on and is happy with her boyfriend is not an idea I am willing to entertain."
The two brothers stared at each other for a long moment. Then Sasuke made an irritable snort and turned to leave.
"You need to fix this." The younger brother stated "Because if Nata-chan calls me up in tears one more time because of your bullshit I'm going to do more than just punch you in the jaw."
His eyes widened slightly "She's been…" Crying? Why? "She's upset?"
Sasuke snorted "Yeah Itachi, that's what happens when the person you grew up with abruptly stops all communication with you for four months. It's your own fault she has a boyfriend, how long did you think she was going to wait for you to get over your…phobia? Or whatever it was." He opened the door, glaring at the small crowd that had been eavesdropping "Don't you have work to do or something?" he snapped, irritated. Sasuke paused.
"Oh yeah," he said "Call mom. She says she wants to talk to you."
This time he gently closed the door.
xxxxx
"Good evening mother," she heard her first born's smooth and low voice over the line "I apologize for calling your cell phone but I appear to have misplaced the house number."
Setting her book down, Itachi's mother shifted in her cushy chair, knowing she might as well be comfortable for the conversation.
"Oh!" she said cheerfully, "So then, Sasu was able to get in touch with you?"
She could hear his amusement "Yes, Sasuke indeed got 'in touch' with me." He said dryly "I also have a sneaking suspicion that you were somehow involved in all of this, mother."
Mikoto made a clucking noise at her son "You're always so suspicious, I haven't heard from you in the last few months, I've been worried."
"Ah. So then, am I incorrect to assume that, knowing Hinata, she had called you first about my silence before contacting Sasuke, knowing you are the calmer of the two? If so, I might also be incorrect about the fact that, knowing you mother, you may or may not have 'pushed' her to call him, knowing that he would become angry. It is oddly convenient that at the end of it I am asked to contact you. These are just assumptions, of course." The last part was said with obvious sarcasm.
She made a small huffing sound "Alright fine, Itachi. I might have suggested to Hinata-chan to call Sasuke even though she was already very distraught. I might have." She insisted.
"Ah. I see." She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling from his tone, it sounded too bland.
"But four months?" she started, wanting to take the heat off of her. Itachi really was too smart for his own good "I'm surprised she hadn't broken down earlier, she had always been rather attached to you, even as a little girl."
"Hm. Perhaps she has been too distracted to concern herself with it overmuch until now."
The Uchiha matriarch opened her mouth, eyes wide. Had he just? Had that been irritation in his voice? She closed it with a snap and then opened it again "Itachi…are you jealous of Hinata-chan's boyfriend?" she couldn't even believe those words had just come out of her mouth. Itachi had never demanded attention or had shown any signs of jealousy growing up; she didn't think it was possible.
There was a pregnant pause "Mother, I could have very well been referring to her school work. I have read all of the e-mails and letters she has sent me and she has a full schedule."
She smiled "Yes, you could have. But you weren't. As a mother I can sense these things."
"I am not…" there was a pause and then a long, suffering sigh. He sounded flustered "Nevermind. Between you and Sasuke, I might as well not even think to make any attempts to defend myself."
So stubborn "So then, you're not jealous over the fact that Hinata-chan has a boyfriend she's going steady with? And don't lie to your mother, I'll know."
He didn't lie. In fact, he said nothing at all. After a long enough pause to figure out that Itachi wasn't going to answer her question, she sighed. "You father told me that you have three weeks of vacation time you're taking."
"If by 'taking' you mean 'being forced against my will' then yes."
Mikoto couldn't blame her son for being in an irritable mood so she jumped ahead with her plan "Well then, why don't you pay Hinata-chan a visit? You can tell her personally why you haven't spoken to her."
There was a very, very long pause. "I am assuming that, like Fugaku and his insistence on my vacation, this is not a request."
"You owe it to her, Itachi." She said firmly "You have no idea how upset she's been. She thinks you hate her." Well, 'hate' was a strong word but it never hurt to exaggerate every now and then if it got the desired results.
"Mother," he began after another pause "for the first time in my life I have absolutely no idea of what I should do." He admitted, his voice sounding slightly pained "The logical choice, of course, would be to explain things properly to her yet…I do not wish to see her right now."
"Why?" better to let him talk it out instead of her making accurate guesses. Mikoto had a feeling that he needed to do this.
"Sasuke pointed out something that I had not been aware of. Now that I know, it changes everything yet the conclusion is not something I wish to deal with. And then again, at the same time this 'thing' that was pointed out to me has not simply faded away, leaving me at a complete emotional loss to a very logical situation. Even if by some miracle the conclusion turned out to be favorable for me, I would still be at a loss concerning how to proceed due to these rather complicated feelings. I feel incredibly frustrated and confused."
If they had been speaking face to face, Mikoto would have gotten up and hugged her son. She was so close to both of her boys, they knew they could tell her anything and they usually did. She really wanted to give Itachi some hopeful advice but unfortunately…
"I wish I could give you a real solution," she began "but this has gone on for too long and it's become so complicated that I…there is a higher chance that she will choose him over you, if you decided to tell her the truth. She really likes him and then there's the fact that she hates hurting others. You don't have to tell her how you feel, but you at least should apologize and let her know that you don't hold any negative feelings towards her."
"Mother, may I be completely honest with you?"
"That's a silly question, dear."
"At the moment I am sitting here in my apartment, going through my photo albums. For years I had been unable to see Hinata past a certain age, which is why I kept my distance. Now that I understand this, I wish I had remained ignorant. I see these pictures. I see her, older, mature. Now that I finally understand, now that I can see her like this, my desire to be with her has become so intense it actually feels physically painful. It's as if all of the feelings I kept denying and pushing back have come rushing in and I am struggling to categorize and organize it and failing completely. I have no idea what I will do once I see her, and that alarms me. It is disorienting to look at a situation and not be able to know how I will handle it; my mind has never worked that way. There are logically, several ways I can, and should, approach this."
"Itachi," his mother cut in "You have always been able to use logic and deduction concerning just about everything. When your father introduced you to all of those business men you took all of the knowledge on the situation and made thousands of deductions, ready to pluck one from your mind depending on the scenario. You have always been able to do that, to think one step ahead of others, to always know how to come in prepared. But Hinata isn't a businessman and she's not one of the few girlfriends you had but didn't really have any feelings for. She's not someone you can shut out emotionally because you care for her too much. When it comes to true matters of the heart, dear, it's rare to be able to predict what could happen. You can't detach yourself from this, if she rejects you, it will affect you. It's alright to be afraid of it, but don't run away from it. You are going to have to play it by ear and hope for the best."
'Play it by ear', she knew it was a concept Itachi didn't understand. A lot of it had to do with how rigid his life had been. It had been so linear, too linear. Predictable. So her son never approached something without a plan, he was just too much of an organized individual. Having to go out without being able to determine anything was going to plague her intelligent son. Having to go out without being able to do anything to prepare and being unable to gauge your reactions to it emotionally was probably terrifying for him.
He was aware that he could be rejected despite his long time feelings. He probably even thinks that it's definitely going to happen. The problem was that he didn't know how he would feel about it. Would he become angry? Hurt? Indifferent? What if the boyfriend is there? Would he become jealous and act irrationally? Would he lose his nerve and say nothing? There were too many variables for him, too many things that could go right or horribly wrong. Her son's life is built on structure and organization; this is his first time really dealing with something 'chaotic'.
"Thank you for the advice mother," he finally said after a long moment "I will fly out to England within a day or so. Please do not tell Hinata I am coming. I'll need some time before deciding how I will approach her."
Mikoto smiled "Of course not, dear. I really do hope things work out for you." Her grin widened "Because I would love to have Hinata-chan actually be related to us…and she'd be able to give me the cutest grandbabies…"
"Goodbye, mother." He sounded rushed and a little strained as he hung up the phone abruptly. The Uchiha matriarch laughed. One step at a time, she supposed. One step at a time.