AN: I'm uploading this chapter because it's probably one of the most important ones and I don't feel like making you guys wait for it. I won't spoil it for you, although I will say that writing Itachi while he was in England was absolutely hilarious for me. I wanted to go a different direction with how he would deal with something so completely out of his range of understanding and I thought I did aiight.
I've also realized that I really need to stop putting Gaara in SasuHina, ItaHina fics because GaaHina is my OTP and I end up wanting to change it to GaaHina because I'm a ham like that. I must be a glutton for punishment because I keep doing it *sigh*Anyway, enjoy.
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4
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It was early February so it was still awfully cold in London. Although Japan did have its four seasons in certain areas, this type of cold was completely different from what she was used to. Even though she was sitting in a warm café with a cup of hot chocolate she could still feel the cold from outside in her bones. Even the thick coat she had brought hadn't been enough to keep the cold out to her liking.
Three more months and she would be returning to Japan. She felt so mixed about it. On one hand she really wanted to go back home, she missed Japanese food and culture. On the other hand leaving England meant leaving her boyfriend of nine months for an undetermined amount of time before seeing each other again.
Their relationship was a quiet one. When it was only the two of them in the house they were very affectionate, cuddling, watching an interesting film or…other things. At school they didn't interact much as they both were focused on their studies. He didn't try to hide that they were together; however, during the classes they both shared he sat beside her. During lunches he would meet up with her and he had no qualms about holding her hand if they were walking through campus. A few people had made comments to her about it – why are you dating that geeky looking guy? – and she would always smile and shake her head. If only they knew. Underneath the thick glasses and somewhat nerdy clothes housed a…well he knew how good he looked damnit.
They didn't go out much, but neither of them had been very social people to begin with. If Gaara wanted to spend time with her but everyone was around, he would drag her into his room and lock the door, just like before when he had first showed up. They both shared a lot of the same interests and had never really had a fight. A few disagreements, but every time they had ended with the two of them laughing at their absurdity.
He was very intelligent. Like Itachi he had also been somewhat of a child genius, although not exactly at the Uchiha's level.
Inwardly, she frowned at how, once again, her 'brother' had entered her thoughts.
Their relationship had been rather tense right along the time she had entered high school and she hadn't understood it then and she didn't understand it now. It was as if one day Itachi had woken up and decided that he didn't like her so much anymore. He had stopped hugging her or putting a friendly arm around her shoulders when the three of them were together. He didn't joke as often with her and he always seemed to be emotionally distant, which had hurt her deeply.
She wished she could figure out what she's been doing wrong all of these years, she desperately misses those times when the three of them had been especially close. The more she had tried to pick and probe the more distant he had become with her. He wasn't cold but he wasn't really the 'Itachi-niisan' she had grown up with any more. Now all of a sudden while she's abroad he cuts off all contact with her. Was that it then? Did he really just want nothing more to do with her? Why? Why didn't he like her anymore?
"You've been crying a lot lately." A deep voice comes in.
Blinking out of her thoughts, Hinata looks up from her cooling cup of cocoa at her boyfriend. Although they were out in public he had dressed and looked the way he always did at her little house. Despite his observation he wasn't actually looking at her. His chin was resting in his hand as he looked out the window at something that obviously had a good portion of his attention.
Realizing that a few tears had fallen she hastily wipes at her face before sending him an apologetic look "I'm sorry. It's just…a family matter, I suppose."
Green eyes drifted over to her for a moment before looking back outside the window "Would you like to talk about it?" he offered "I haven't asked because it's not my business, but it is a little disheartening to watch your girlfriend look miserable for months on end."
Hinata's face turned a dark shade of red and she looked a mixture between sad and worried "I…I'm so sorry. I've been…I've been being…"
"I'm not upset," he clarified "but I have been worried. You are much prettier with a smile on your face."
Curious as to what he was looking at so intensely she turned her head in that direction but saw nothing out of the ordinary. When she turned back to him he was facing her and she actually almost jumped in surprise. He gave her a small smile and reached out to take her hand.
"It's um…my brother." She said after a few minutes, watching as his thumb lightly grazed over her wrist in a soothing motion "I think I've done something to really make him mad at me. He just…stopped talking to me." She let out a shaky smile "He doesn't answer when I call and he doesn't respond to any of my e-mails or letters. He's someone very special to me so it's been hard because I don't know what I've done so I can't fix it."
His hand squeezed hers gently "What's his name?"
"I call him Itachi-niisan but his full name is Uchiha Itachi."
The rubbing motions stopped. When she looked up at him he looked a mixture between confused and thoughtful "You are not an Uchiha." He observed, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh!" with her free hand she made a little waving motion "I-I'm sorry I mean…we grew up together s-so he's practically like a brother to me." She had missed the confident tone in her boyfriend's voice towards a person he technically should not know.
Gaara looked out the window again "A brother…you say?" it said almost absentmindedly "Are you sure he's not the one you told me about when I first asked you if you had a boyfriend?"
She stiffened, drawing his attention back to her. Frowning, she looked down at her lukewarm cocoa "Y-yes…" she admitted "I guess you c-could say I had one of those c-childhood crushes on him."
"You had said you were in love with him, at the time."
Something clicked in her mind and she frowned a little at him "I'm not…I mean I'm with you Gaara, I don't…I mean yes, he's my first love, I guess, but…I'm his 'little sister' and I'm happy with that. W-well…I was…" she bit her lip "He's upset with me."
"You really think so?" once again he had asked that while looking out the window, making her a little nervous. Was he upset with her for still having feelings for Itachi? Maybe she would try later on to tell him or show him that he was the one she wanted to be with.
"W-well…" she began "I mean he just stopped talking to me so abruptly…he must be upset about something."
Her boyfriend tilted his head slightly at her "Hm. What was the last thing you talked to him about before he went silent?"
Frowning, Hinata tried to think "Um…it was around the time of that festival…I asked him about Mama-chan because I had heard that she was a little under the weather. I told him he shouldn't work so hard because Mama-chan had told me that he was working overtime a lot. Oh! I told him about how I had found Tenten-chan's secret stash of weapons…" at this he shared a smile with her "and um…Oh. I told him about us. I know it was like, five months after we had started dating but my brothers can be overprotective so I had wanted to wait a little while."
"There was nothing else?"
There was something about his gaze that worried her. It wasn't detached, just…different. "Um…no that was pretty much it. It was a really long e-mail, I think."
"I see. We should get going." Without waiting for her he pulled out his wallet and placed some bills on the table. Had he not held out his hand for her and smiled slightly she almost would have thought he was upset.
Coats on, she walked out of the café with him, sliding on her thick mittens. She shivered but he took her gloved hand in his and they started walking. Despite the bitter chill it still looked nice although she really had to admit to herself that she missed the sights and streets of Japan. It also wasn't as cold there, which was a great bonus.
"Childhood friendships," her boyfriend suddenly began "form almost unbreakable bonds. No matter what, you have shared more, done more, and experienced more together than you would with any other outsider you meet in the future."
Confusion graced her features as she looked up at him. His face looked impassive; she couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. He didn't sound upset or angry, but she had never seen him upset or angry either, so how would she know?
"Gaara," she began, squeezing his hand "If this is about Ita –"
Her sentence was cut off as her boyfriend pressed her against him, an arm wrapping around her waist. Before she could let out a sound his lips slid over hers, hard and passionate. The scene was highly embarrassing, kissing like this out in public? If she were back home she probably would have fainted from the embarrassment.
Except…he was an amazing kisser, so much that she eventually stopped caring about who could be watching or disapproving. Wrapping her arms around his neck she returned his kiss with equal passion and intensity.
When they parted, breathless, Gaara spoke again "Hinata," he whispered against her lips "I'm breaking up with you."
She jerked away from him as if he had just slapped her. Something hard fell towards her stomach and her chest began to hurt. Unshed tears burned hotly at the back of her eyes "W…why?" she asked. Why was he doing this? Didn't he know how much she cared for him? How much she really wanted to be with him? "I-I…I don't…I don't understand…"
His face was impassive but his eyes were a little sad. Gloved fingers brushed along her cheek as she looked up at him, her gaze imploring.
"I don't love you." He said simply.
That was why? "B-but we've only been d-dating for nine m-months s-so I mean…it's n-not a big deal to me…"
Mixed feelings filled her when he pulled her back into his arms, embracing her. She could feel his lips at her crown.
"I really like you," he said "and these past few months have been…the best of my life, I think."
"T-then why..?" she whispered, heartbroken.
"I've really liked being with you," he continued "you are intelligent, kind, gentle, and I can feel relaxed around you. I'll always care for you, and I will treasure the time we had together." When her response was the slight shaking of her shoulders he tightened his hold "This would have happened eventually," he explained "I will return to America, you'll go back to Japan. Long distance relationships…especially in this case, don't work."
He let her go then, keeping his hands at her arms. Her gaze was focused on the ground and she was indeed crying "I don't…I don't understand…" then her head snapped up "Gaara, please don't do this because I had feelings for Itachi-niisan. I told you that I'm just his little sister, and anyway, you're the one I want to be with!" her hands clutched at his jacket awkwardly since she was still wearing her mittens "You really don't have to worry about that…so please…"
The grip on her arms tightened and he gave her a wry smile "Hinata, I don't love you." He repeated "I like you, I like you a lot. You were my fir…" he paused, slightly embarrassed "I like you, but I don't love you, so we have to part ways now."
The girl shook her head "Is it really just that?" she asked, her voice watery "Or is it really because of…"
"The Uchiha?" he frowned thoughtfully "Yes and no." she looked confused but he wasn't going to elaborate. "I really am sorry, Hinata." He said sincerely "This isn't because there is something wrong with you or that I'm upset or jealous. It's just…time….I think." Framing her face in his hands he kissed her forehead and wiped at her tears "I hope one day, when you can forgive me for this, we can be friends. Goodbye, Hinata."
He left her then, his hands in his pockets as he walked away. He did not look back. Hinata put her face in her hands and wept, uncaring of who was watching.
What Hinata did not know was that Sabaku Gaara knew the Uchiha brothers, although not on any real personal level. He had been forced to meet Itachi once when they were both younger, fathers trying to put two child geniuses together, assuming they would get along. They had spoken perhaps two words to each other that entire night. Had she not been so distraught she might have caught it in his tone.
He truly did like Hinata; that had been the honest truth. But Gaara wasn't in love with her, not even in the slightest, and it was very apparent that Uchiha Itachi was. The redhead had never known Itachi to be anything but cool, even cold, like him. Cutting off ties with the girl you grew up with because she told you she had a boyfriend? That meant something. Something emotional.
The fact that the Uchiha had been standing off in the distance watching them in the café had also been a pretty good indicator. It had been an accident, the man had been walking, turned, and had seen them together. For a long while he had simply stood there and then just as easily as he had stopped he walked away, his face shifting to a blank mask.
He could put two and two together. After a four month silence, there could be only one real reason he would have come all the way to England. Hinata loved him as well and Gaara really didn't want to get in the way of that in some sort of complicated love triangle when he was about to leave anyway. He could have loved her, given time…lots of time – there were things about him that Hinata would never even believe to be true – but this early in the game, it was just better to cut one's losses and enjoy the time you had with the person.
The redhead had a feeling that the white-eyed girl would always be someone he would care about; besides the kissing she had been his first regarding everything else. One didn't really forget things like that. Hopefully, once things calmed down, she would at least come around to be his friend. She really was an easy person to talk to and he didn't have many people like that in his somewhat depraved life. Siblings didn't always count.
However, if the Uchiha royally screwed up his chance with the girl he loved, then the redhead might change his mind about a few things. But he doubted it would happen; the man was a genius after all. He'd figure it out.
xxxxx
He had been here for three days, two of them he had spent completely in his hotel room. To be perfectly honest, he was actually pretty disappointed in himself. No Uchiha should act this pathetic just because everything that makes them function as a human being is completely and utterly useless. Never had he realized how much he had depended on total structure in his life until he had been faced with a situation like this.
So now, Itachi was aware that he was obsessive compulsive and somewhat narcissistic. He had also come to the conclusion by day two that he was also a coward when it came to being put in situations where he could not predict the outcome or how to guide the situation to an outcome he could handle.
Day three he had had enough of his own nonsense and had decided to go out and become re-familiar with the streets. He had been to London once as a boy but it hadn't been to too many places. Many streets he had memorized had completely changed, making him mentally take note of it just in case. After about a good hour he had pretty much figured out how to navigate the surrounding area of the major university there.
Not that he was worried about getting lost or not being able to find Hinata. He had the address and had seen a picture, which was more than enough for him. Most of it was him stalling, still trying to reason out a predictable solution. He was a bit stubborn when it came to certain things, figuring out a difficult 'problem' was one of them. A bit of it was him also trying to get his emotions under control. It was so difficult for him to think straight now that everything was out in the open. He still felt mixed about being with her, should it actually happen, since he had been 'in denial' for seven years. It seemed that it would feel rather awkward to suddenly give in to one's desires under the circumstances.
Except, truth be told, he had no idea what he would do or say once he actually saw her. When one was detached from the situation it was easier to predict how you will feel as you progress in your plan. When one was heavily emotional, anything and everything could happen; it was very unpredictable. The last thing he wanted to do was make a fool of himself because of something like this.
While he had been lost in his thoughts his gaze had shifted over to the opposite side of the street. Then he paused. There, in a rather fancy French café, sat his long time friend and her boyfriend. Now that he could see the face he instantly remembered the boy. He had been around twelve, the Sabaku boy seven. They had both been dragged along and both were considered 'child geniuses'. So their fathers, in all of their infinite wisdom, figured that since they were both 'really smart' they'd be able to get along, right?
He remembered the exchange. Itachi had stared at the boy, the boy at him. They both mumbled out a 'Good evening', sat in the chairs their fathers had told them to and said nothing else. Itachi had been rather annoyed by his father's ability to be completely dense and insensitive, so he had actually made it a point not to talk to the boy, retreating within his own mind. Had they had been left to their own devices; they probably would have talked a bit more and perhaps even gotten along. Having been forced, the boys instead did the exact opposite of what their fathers had wanted.
Then the redhead turned to him and their gazes locked. With his excellent eyesight he could tell the other male remembered him. Nothing outstanding or breathtaking happened during the time the two had merely stared at one another and eventually Itachi turned and left, continuing on his walk.
Yes, it was definitely difficult to see Hinata with another man. He did not like that feeling. Feeling like that would only make things worse when the confrontation came. He would need to have a level head, so he could decide on what he wanted to say and how. He had already decided that more than likely he would not tell her of his feelings. It was quite obvious that she was happy with the person she was with. It was as Sasuke said, his own fault for letting things get to that point. He had lost his chance, he was fine with that. At least, right now that he was thinking logically he was. What he really wanted was for Hinata not to believe that she was hated, and to, at the very least, reestablish their friendly bond. He had been rather unfair to her these past few years; he would try harder not to let that happen again.
So. Two days later, Itachi was wondering why in the hell was he still in his room. It was as if his body were betraying him now, refusing to move and do what his brain was trying to tell it to. His only consolation was that he was the only one here to witness how much he was epically failing. He had been here almost a week and had not yet seen Hinata. The older sibling was beginning to feel ashamed to call himself an Uchiha. Surely no man could ever sink to this level of cowardice. If Sasuke were here…well it was just better that he wasn't.
After this, he swore to himself by midday, he refused to behave in this sort of ridiculous manner ever again. While he was sure the phrase 'love makes one do crazy things' was true, he was absolutely certain this level of pathetic and sad was not what it had been referring to.
By two pm he had become so fed up with himself that he actually showered, dressed, and forced himself to go outside and simply walk. Since he did not care where Itachi slid his focus to his thoughts and allowed his body to go wherever it wanted. He had two more weeks in which to settle everything, although he wasn't planning on being here any longer than middle of next week. By then he was sure there would be nothing worth hanging around for. Hinata would be with her boyfriend and he would have his 'little sister' back. Perhaps if he evaded his father's cronies once he got back to Japan he could sneak into his own apartment – an absurd and annoying concept – and simply relax for the rest of his vacation.
Then he found himself stopping and inwardly he frowned. He hadn't meant to stop so why…?
Bending his head down he chuckled darkly "Of course." He murmured as he stood on the sidewalk outside the house Hinata was staying in.
This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. Since he was already here, he put his hands in his coat pockets – with much better poise and grace than his little brother he would add – walked up the small steps to a rather old-looking baby blue house. He pressed the button that was supposed to be the doorbell and found that it was broken. Raising an eyebrow at this, he knocks on the door.
On the second set of knocks he heard several latches and locks being turned and he blinked. Was it really so dangerous to where they need six locks? If so, he would seriously contemplate moving Hinata to a nicer set of apartments and pay for the remainder of her stay. Not that Hinata couldn't handle herself, she was a black belt in karate and in her family's style of martial arts but still....
The door opened to reveal…well not what he had been expecting.
It was definitely Hinata, but her eyes were puffy, her and nose red, and it was very obvious that she had not been sleeping well for the past few days. She had looked fine the other day, surely she wasn't crying over their communication situation?
The door closed in his face after she had mumbled something rather unintelligible and he actually had a strange urge to laugh. The situation really wasn't funny if something was wrong with Hinata, but having the door closed in on his face while he was sure she hadn't even recognized him was amusing. He definitely wouldn't let her live it down for a few weeks at least.
Looking idly at his watch he waited for a good thirty seconds and then the door wrenched open, white eyes wide with shock. She looked up at him as if he were a ghost and he really began to wonder if something serious had happened to her.
"Are you always this kind to visitors?" he asked smoothly, smiling slightly "You haven't been gone that long to have forgotten my face already have you?"
He almost fell backwards when Hinata suddenly slammed herself against his chest, her arms wrapping around his middle. It wasn't loud but he heard it then, slight sniffling. Frowning, he pulled her at arms length, his hands on her shoulders. She was wiping at her face with the sleeves of her sweater and he honestly couldn't tell if she was crying because she was happy or crying because she was upset.
Then he poked her on the forehead.
It had surprised him just as much as it had surprised her, for her hands flew to the spot and she looked dumbstruck. He recovered his wits before her and tilted his head.
"Stop crying." It was a gentle command, one that he used to give her when they had been children. Sasuke would always look confused and flustered whenever Hinata had cried about something, so early on it had been left up to him. Of course, at ten years old he was also rather awkward around girls so he had did to her what he had always done to Sasuke. For some absurd reason, it had never failed to make her smile.
And she did smile, a somewhat lopsided watery smile but a smile nonetheless. He hadn't done anything like that to her in years, but he could tell she remembered what it had meant.
"By the way," he said "I'm not upset with you. Whatever would give you the reason that I could ever do something as absurd as that, Hina?" he was amazed at the ease of him slipping back to his old habits before he had forced himself to be estranged with her.
Instead of answering she merely shook her head and moved forward, resting her forehead on his chest. He placed a hand on her back and arm and they stood there like that for some time. Once he had felt a suitable amount of time had passed for this rather emotional reunion, he cleared his throat. Loudly.
"Hina, it's rather cold outside. Either you come with me or I go in with you, whichever you prefer."
Jerking back, she looked at him in surprise once more before her face began to turn a darker shade of red at her outbursts. She was about to motion for him to come in but then stopped, dipping her head.
"Um, actually," she said very softly "Can I just…go with you Itachi-niisan?"
That confirmed that whatever it was she was upset about, it had nothing to do with him. He gave her a silent nod and he saw her rush into the first room of the house and come back out seconds later putting on a rather thick coat. He smiled to himself, Hinata was a winter child yet she didn't really like the cold. Oh, she liked snow, from inside her home where the heaters were blazing.
He wasn't entirely sure of where he wanted to go, but when she fell into step beside him and he glanced at her sorrowful expression, he took her mitten-covered hand in his. When she looked up at him with those sad eyes he felt a mixture of irritation and guilt. Irritation towards whatever it was that was making her upset and guilt because not too long ago she had been looking like that over him.
"Where do you want to go?" he asked her.
"W-why are you here Itachi-niisan?" came the soft question and they both paused. Her bangs were hiding her eyes so he couldn't see her expression.
"Do you want me to leave?"
Those eyes looked back up at him then and she looked as if her entire world had simply dropped from her feet. Slowly, she shook her head.
"B-but, why?" she insisted her gaze pleading. It seemed as if she wanted him to say something specific, but he had no idea what.
"I am standing here, in the cold, in a foreign country holding my childhood friend's hand. Do you think I'd be here for something else besides seeing you?"
He wondered if she noticed he didn't call her 'little sister'. Her eyes had lowered before he had been able to get a good look at her reaction.
"It's just…" he almost hadn't caught her murmuring.
"It's what?" she was acting very strangely. Perhaps he had been wrong in assuming that it had nothing to do with him?
"It's just that…Gaara broke up with me two days ago." She announced and he could not help the brief flicker of shock that crossed his face.
"Why?"
Delicate brows furrowed and he could see her looking at his face for a sign of something, anything. What he couldn't possibly fathom.
"He…broke up with me…because of you."