Chapter Seven
December 23rd
I believe I now know what it is like to "be on my death bed," I don't even feel alive anymore. What on earth happened? All I know is we went to some town get together and I drank some eggnog. Next thing I'm on the side of the road emptying the contents of my stomach all over Tommy's boots. Which would be funny if I could laugh without someone banging me over the head with a hammer.
Tommy wasn't laughing after that. His angry shouts made my head hurt. When you have to toss your cookies you have to toss them, you can't hold it in. I tried to turn my head but Tommy stepped in the way, right when it happened. Ugh, now I owe him some new shoes. Blah! If some homeless person comes along that stretch of road they'll find a new pair of snow boots---covered in vomit, but what the heck. A new pair of shoes is a new pair of shoes.
He yelled and shot daggers at me for an hour after I ruined his precious butt ugly snow boots. I told him not to get those anyway, but did he listen to me? Nooo! He went behind my back and purchased those hideous monstrosities. Even in my drunken state of mind I knew when to dive out of the path Tommy's rants were taking us… instead of putting up with his big mouth I instantly fell asleep. At least he thought I was, I was really counting sheep, or counting how many Tommy's my eyes were still seeing next to me. Tommy bought my poor acting skills and chose to seethe alone. Woot woot for me!
"What happened last night?" My voice mixed with pain and confusion as I squinted my eyes to see Tommy.
"You tapped into the towns eggnog. Claimed everyone had a sibling there but you and you pinched my butt," Tommy looked over at me. Grinning when he noticed my hangover predicament, "You can do the last one anytime you want. Free of charge."
Yay!
Man my head hurts, my back aches, I smell like puke. I'm miserable! I need to get out of this car. I need a bed, and I need one now dammit!
"Tommy?"
"Hmm?"
Shielding my eyes with my hand I peeked through my fingers to see Tommy, "I need a bed. Find us a hotel or something to stay at."
"What!?"
Ugh do not raise your voice. My poor head can't take it. "I can't do this right now Tommy. Please just find a place for us to stay. No questions asked."
"Are you kidding me?"
Why are men so freaking stupid? I said no more questions. Two seconds later he opens his gorgeous mouth and asks me a damn question. I should strangle him. I would strangle him… but he is driving and I'm in no shape to be behind the wheel.
"I'm going to go to sleep. When I wake up we better be pulling into a hotel."
Tommy snickered from next to me, "You get drunk, throw up all over my shoes, then demand I find you a place to stay," And another Tommy rant was on the rise. Rolling my eyes, then wincing from the pain I tried to contain myself from sticking my fingers in my ears to drown out his voice, "I think you should deal with it. You knew that eggnog had alcohol in it, yet you drank them out of their supply. Too bad so sad."
Too bad so sad. Do I want to be locked up for the rest of my life for murdering him? Is it really worth it? Maybe. Maybe not.
"I'm not really in the mood to hear you talk, especially when nothing good is coming out of your mouth," Slouching further into the seat my head felt like dead weight against the cushioned head rest. Still I found some energy in me to prove my point, "You have no room to talk anyway. You chose the moment I was throwing up to step in front of me. So don't even try going there again buddy! Second you got to stay how many days in a resort? I think I deserve one night! Being holed up in this car with you constantly is no walk in the clouds!"
"You wanted this! It was your idea to go on a road trip with me!" Tommy's voice rising again. How the hell does he get ticked off so easily? Anger management anyone?
"Blah blah blah. Shut up already my head hurts."
"Your head hurts?! I have a constant migraine around you!"
Why do I have the sudden urge to break out singing a girl scout song? I never was in the girl scouts. Sadie was, she used to make me learn all of her songs since I did have the pipes to sing. One of her leaders asked my mom to have Sadie sing quietly when they were around the campfires because she scared the other girls. How hilarious is that? Well to me it is, to Sadie--- she never knew, mom and dad were nice enough to spare her some feelings.
When I was five Sadie taught me I'm a Nut. Even the silly handing clapping motions that went along with it.
I'm a little acorn round, Lying on the cold-cold ground, Somebody came and stepped on me, That is why I'm cracked you see, I'm a nut, (clap clap) in a rut, (clap clap) I'm crazy. Called myself on the telephone, Just to see if I was home, Asked myself out for a date, Gotta be ready by half past eight! I'm a nut, (clap clap) in a rut, (clap clap) I'm crazy. Took myself to the picture show, Sat myself in the very first row, Wrapped my arms around my waist, Got so fresh I slapped my face! I'm a nut, (clap clap) in a rut, (clap clap) I'm crazy.
Oh well. Guess I should go back to arguing with my hunky companion. Even though he's currently the reason my head is throbbing.
"If that's true, why do I remember you saying something about me being your girl? You know you love me. So cut the crap and stop blaming all your mistakes on me, I have enough of my own to deal with."
"Go to sleep, I'll find us a hotel."
Ha! Shut him up. See he can't deny I'm his girl or that he loves me.
Score one for Jude.
Strike one for my delicious snuggle-boo.
Two hours later…
Am I in California… earthquake. EarthQUAKE! Shaking, my body was shaking. Opening my eyes I began to panic.
"Tommy! Tommy we're having an earthquake!" Sitting up straight in the car seat my head smacked into something. OW!!
"Dammit Jude!"
That something would be Tommy's head. Oh my gosh. Tommy was kneeling next to the open passenger door holding on to his forehead.
"I am so sorry baby," Reaching out I touched his cheek.
"That's the last time I try waking you up. Geez woman I know you're mad at me and all but you don't need to take me out."
Smirking I rubbed my eyes clear with my left hand, "Where are we?"
His body was blocking any view I may have. Not complaining though. Isn't it all of Canada's female populations dream to wake up to Tommy Quincy staring back at them? It was mine, and now I get to have it all to myself.
Ha-ha losers!
"A motel. Its cheap but it's the only one on this stretch of road. I talked to the guy at the front desk he said the next hotel doesn't come along until we get into Toronto."
"You stopped?" I asked. My eyes lighting up to the fact Tommy did something nice for me.
He nodded. Trying his best to hide a grin, "Yeah. You are my girl right?" He asked sweetly.
"One who gives you a constant migraine," Leaning forward I pecked his lips with mine.
How to describe the softness his lips are. Soft pillows that make for the best sleep anyone has ever had? Perhaps that will do. Trying to find the right words will never happen. When Tommy kisses he varies in styles. Never does he keep with one. His lips are always soft but the roughness changes. He could teach any guy a few lessons in always delivering heart pounding, soul melting, scorching, hot, amazing kisses.
Ahh. To be lost in his luscious lips. Mmm.
Not being able to help myself I wrapped my hand around his neck bringing his lips into mine deeper.
Ten minutes later…
Feeling extremely refreshed, which is near impossible when your head hurts like the devil. I smiled when Tommy walked up the sidewalk leading to out motel room. He smiled back at me. Both of us still in the afterglow of one of the best make out sessions I have ever had. Tommy, me, car… what else needs to be known?
"Room 212," Tommy said grabbing hold of my hand, "Apparently this is the only room available. I would have to disagree if you look around. There's no other cars out here besides ours."
"Oh well. It's a room, it has a bed. That's all I care about."
Tommy wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously, "Want to continue what we started in here?"
Yes! "Not today," Not like I don't want to but the thought of Tommy seeing me with my hair stuck together with vomit, bags underneath my eyes and whatever else a hangover brings. "All I want to do is sleep on a real bed. Not the passenger seat."
"You are no fun," Tommy pouted. Letting go of my hand he slid the key into the lock.
Who even uses keys anymore? Usually hotels, or in this case motels give you cards to slide.
Five minutes later…
"Jude there's no toilet paper in the bathroom," Tommy whined as he stormed out of the small restroom.
"Go get some then," Rolling over to my side I smirked at Tommy's frustrated scowl.
As soon as Tommy had the motel room door open I had flown across the room, nearly knocking him over in the process. I got some good air travel as I dove face first into a big belly flop on to the queen sized bed. The top comforter wasn't as soft as I had hoped but it would do for the time we were staying. Anything was a step up from sleeping in a car.
"Not happening."
"Why not?" I asked as a loud yawn escaped my lips.
Tommy ran a hand through his wind blown hair. Eyeing me with a growing annoyance. "Do you know how cold it is out there? I'm not going back out."
Oh yes you are. There's no way we are going without toilet paper buddy.
Too tired to put up much of an argument I shook my head in Tommy's direction, "Tommy go. There's no way in hell I'm using that until there's toilet paper in there. So go get it."
"You want it so bad you get up and walk through the snow."
I know I say this a lot but, excuse me? Tommy can be so rude sometimes---most of the time--- it has to do with his ego being the size of Texas. Anything and everything needs to be done for him otherwise my Tommy has a little tantrum. Usually I find it cute and funny the way he acts, right now, I want to kill him. I might just end up a murder by the end of this trip.
The bed dipped on the opposite side as Tommy climbed in next to me, "If you think your going to sleep its not happening. Not until you go ask for toilet paper."
"Jude come on!"
Shooting him my stern look I hoped he knew I was being completely serious. I was already in bed, no way was I getting up and trekking through the snow. That's what men are for. Sadie taught me a few good things. One of them being to take the upper hand in relationships. If Tommy wanted me to stay his girl he was going to do as I say, especially when I was fighting an eggnog hangover.
"If you want to live to see tomorrow I'd suggest you put that cute beanie back on and get your ass out there," Sitting up enough to pull the blankets over my body I laid back down.
Tommy groaned from his side of the bed. His shoulders tensed. Yup he's mad. He's trying to be nice and not say anything but he's pissed.
Better you go now than later. I'd make you go out after we woke up.
Seconds passed before Tommy started cursing a blue streak under his breath. Shortly after he climbed out of bed. I won! I knew for sure when I heard him putting his coat and boots on, the zippers zipping loudly were somehow soothing as my eyes slowly began to close. Exhaustion taking me under its spell. Ah--- this is nice.
A door clicked shut in the distance, soon followed by zippers unzipping and something being tossed on to the floor. I opened one of my eyes and watched hazily as Tommy rid himself of his jacket before sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Did you get it?" I sleepily asked.
Tommy kicked off his boots before scooting all the way up until he was laying next to me. "Yeah."
I nodded. My eyes falling closed again. Any minute now and I'll be out like a light.
"Pumpkin?" Tommy whispered.
His movement on the bed rocking me into a further slumber. "Hmm?"
"I'm sorry," Tommy's fingers trailed over my cheek. Mmm, that feels good.
"I forgive you," I mumbled, snuggling deeper into the covers.
Tommy said something else but I am too sleepy to comprehend any conversation. Instead I slid my body closer into his, seeking his warmth and comfort as I finally fell into a deep hangover curing sleep.
Four hours later.
That tickles. Stop! Whatever it was needed to stop brushing up against my cheek. It was pulling me out of my sleep. A sleep I needed desperately.
Stop it!
Feather like movements tickled my cheek again. "Tommy stop it. Go to sleep," I grumpily mumbled. I was pissed he was waking me up. He knew I needed my sleep. Just because he liked touching me all the time didn't give him the right to mess around with me while I was resting.
Tugging the blankets up higher around me I sighed. I refused to open my eyes, I knew once I did I would never be able to get back to sleep. Tommy would seriously die in that case. I needed all hours I could log before I stepped back into the car. I was getting really sick and tired of dealing with a stiff neck and a sore back every day.
Another feather movement poked my cheek. That's it! Someone is going to get their beautiful face messed up.
Throwing the blankets off of my body with a rough angry induced kick I opened my eyes full heartedly planning on shooting fire into Tommy's eyes. Instead I found the back of Tommy's head greeting me…. And----and the sounds of him snoring.
What? Then what the hell was tickling my cheek? If I was imagining those feather movements on my skin I'm checking myself into the nearest mental facility. Well once we get back to Toronto. I doubt I would want to stay anywhere in this town that has to do with mental help. As far as I could see most of the people we have encountered have been real nut-whacks.
No one would admit me, right? I don't talk to myself. Well not out loud at least. I only have one personality---that I know of--- I could be described as sane in most dictionaries. Um, what else?
Ugh, I'm too tired to debate my mental stability at the moment. More sleepy time for me.
Rolling over to my left side I was about to snuggle up against Tommy's back when something tickled my forehead. Oh that's it! Too tired to move I used my hand to bat away whatever it was that kept irritating me.
Eww, what the hell?
Something rough moved beneath my fingers… something that wasn't my hair, or my pillow, or anything that was not alive. That could only mean.
Oh my--- Sitting up quickly I looked down at my pillow. OH MY GOD!!! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I can't breathe. Where's a paper sack when you need it? I think I'm on the verge of hyperventilating.
There are two things in life I cannot deal with. Rodents and bugs. I especially can't deal with roaches. Big ugly cockroaches. La Cucaracha was cute and fun to sing along to as a kid but right now staring down at my pillow, with a giant roach on it. I was close to fainting.
My eyes opened widened. I was frozen in shock and horror. Not everyday you experience something you think and pray would never happen to you. Tightly clutching on to the bed sheets I stared down at the creature silently praying I was having a nightmare.
Please tell me when I wake up it will be gone.
I closed my eyes tightly for ten seconds before opening them. Surely hoping that----shit! It was still there. Oh God, what do I do? How do I get up without it jumping in midair and attacking me? I've seen things in scary movies. It could happen!
When it started moving slowly across the pillow I lost it…. Call the mental facility because after this I'll need to be in a straight jacket--- the roach moved towards the center of the pillow.
Opening my mouth to scream I felt my shoulders begin to shake, "Tommy!" I called his name frantically.
Tommy groaned. His shoulders moved but he didn't wake up.
"Tommy!" The brownish-reddish creature moved again causing me to jump and this time scream, "TOMMY!!" I yelled jumping back to the edge of the bed, "TOMMY!" Yelling louder I held on to the sheet for dear life. Never taking my eyes off of the little big beast.
Tommy stirred in his sleep, "What?" He mumbled sleepily.
"TOMMY! GET UP!" I hollered. My body was starting to shake all over. I really hated bugs.
This got his attention. Sitting straight up, Tommy looked over at me with fear in his eye, "What is it?"
My eyes briefly locked on to his, "Cockro-roach!"
"What?"
Untangling my hands from around the sheet I pointed towards my pillow. Tommy followed my movement. Once his eyes locked on to the roach he was out of the bed before I could blink.
"What do we do?" He frantically asked. His hair was sticking up in all directions.
"Kill it!"
His head vaingloriously shook as his eyes sought out mine, "No way in hell am I going near it."
Tommy! I need you. I can't. I mean physically can't deal with this.
"You have to!" Sitting up on to my knees I fearfully looked down at the roach before returning my gaze back to Tommy's.
I knew right then he wasn't going to do anything about the roach. I was trapped on this bed mere inches away from something I feared most and Tommy was going to leave me alone. He paced back and forth near the bed shooting glances to me and the creature on my pillow. Most likely trying to find a way to save me without getting hurt in the process.
Twenty seconds later…
"Dammit Tommy!" I hissed, "All you have to do is grab the pillow and throw it out the door."
"No way in hell am I going anywhere near that thing!" Tommy stopped his pacing, his eyes glazing with fear.
This is ridiculous. He needs to kill the damn roach so I can get the hell off of this bed. Men are the bug killing strong muscular knight in shining armor types. Not over hair gelled bug fearing sissy's! What was I thinking falling for someone who could not protect me from my phobia? I needed a big strong man who could swoop right in and squash the beast moving around on my freaking pillow.
"You're supposed to be a man! Why don't you grow a pair and kill the damn thing!" I yelled at him.
"Come on Jude," Tommy hissed right back. "I don't like anything big enough to cover two of my fingers."
Snorting in disgust I kept my eyes glued to the movement of the beast, "I don't give a shit about fingers and your boo-hoo crap. Just get over here and take care of this so I can go back to my normal breathing!"
"Climb off the bed and we'll make a run for it," Tommy commanded from the side of the bed.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" My voice roared into the small cheap room. "My things are on the floor over there," Pointing hysterically towards the small wooden nightstand I felt angry fear filled tears waiting to rise.
Forty seconds later…
"Fine deal!" Tommy said through gritted teeth.
I believe I have the situation under control… an equal balance of fear for both me and my girly man. We both have to touch the pillow in hopes of getting the damn roach out of the room so we can collect our belongings and leave. The deal is, I pick the pillow up, hand it to Tommy, who runs to the door. By that time I'll be there holding it open so he can toss the pillow out into the snow. Sounds good, right?
"I don't think I can do this," My voice shaky. Giving up was not in my blood but come on, this is a freaking nightmare and I refuse to knock one of my fears today. No way Jose!
"Yes you can, come on team work right?" Tommy's voice oddly comforting, "We make a great team so we can do this. Together."
Yeah, yeah we can! You can do this Jude, you're strong, you're badass, you're a freaking rockstar. Hell yes!
The bed dipped and groaned as I slowly inched my way towards the pillow. My knees were sweating against my jeans. It may be cold out but this was heating me up with fear. My hands shook as I stretched my arms out to balance my body as I gently edged over the rumpled blankets.
"Tommy?"
"I'm here, you can do it," He cooed from the other side of the bed.
Part of me hated him for being such a damn baby. If he could have sucked it up enough to take care of this I could be happy and laughing. But no! The damn wussy!
Using my new wave of anger to get me through this I swallowed the huge lump beginning to form in my throat.
You can do it. You can do it.
My shaking fingers grabbed hold of the pillow edges.
Oh God. Don't look at it. Just stand up, hand it over and be done with it.
Easing the pillow up slowly I began to stand up on the bed. Holding my breath the entire time.
"There you go baby, slowly so you don---"
Going against my better judgment I glanced down at the pillow just in time to see the roach moving towards one of my fingers.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Standing up quickly I ran across the bed. The roach touched my fingernail and I lost it. Screaming at the top of my lungs I threw the pillow, not looking where I chucked it.
Oh my God. Oh my God… somebody kill me now!
Tommy's yells pulled me out of my panic. Looking over to him from where I stood on the bed my eyes bugged out in utter------
"JUDE!!!"
Aha-ha-ha. Sarcastic of course! I'm not an evil person. Why am I laughing at Tommy? I'm not. I'm laughing at my predicament.
"JUDE!!!" Tommy screamed again. His face contorted in terror. Sheer terror.
Where I threw the pillow I aimed it mistakenly at Tommy. Because attached to the front of Tommy's shirt was the roach.
How the hell did we get here? Christmas will never be the same. If being chased by town nuts and tossing roaches isn't any indication I don't know what is.