Hello everyone! This is CrazyAce'n'PokerFace, proudly presenting their first Skip Beat! fanfiction. We'd like to warn you that this based off of the wonderful, amazing work of leavesfallingup, who has given us permission to explore the depths of one of our favorite pairings in the context of his stories. As such, we highly encourage you to check out "Patience Is Its Own Reward" and "The Shadow's Heart" before reading this story, partly because nothing will make sense if you don't, but mostly because they're awesome fics. :D
We'd also suggest reading Ashita no Ousama, to familiarize yourself with some of the characters presented here. It's an entertaining manga, and deserves your attention!
All right, now that we're done with the introductions and the endorsing, on with the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat! or any of its characters. They belong solely to Yoshiki Nakamura. I also do not own Ashita no Ousama or any of its characters, which belong to Yachi Emiko. However, if there was an alternate universe where I do own them, I will promptly give my left arm to switch with my other self. I also do not own any of leavesfallingup's works and characters. :)
Chapter One: First Glance
The first time Chiori Amamiya ever laid eyes on Sawamura Fujinosuke was on a clear, cold day near the end of autumn. It would always strike her as ironic that the beginning of the rest of her life would take place during a season that called to mind falling leaves and dying plants. But then again, autumn was also the season of harvest and change, and meeting Fujinosuke had certainly changed her heart forever. She remembered it so clearly…
"Amamiya-san! Amamiya-san!" cried Sasaya Yuu as she ran down the sidewalk. "Hurry up! We don't want to be late for the show! These tickets are some of my personal treasures, you know."
"Coming, Sasaya-senpai!" replied Amamiya. Panting a little from the strain of having to catch up to the energetic woman, she continued, "And every ticket you own is a 'personal treasure'. I don't see how this one ranks higher than the others."
Exasperated, Yuu rolled her eyes and admonished the younger girl, "Trust me, this one is definitely special. It's a kabuki performance featuring Sawamura Fujinosuke, who's the lead actor for "The Shadow's Heart" This is your chance to see him onstage."
"Kabuki?" asked Amamiya in surprise. "But I don't think I—"
"Trust me, you'll love it!" Yuu said, interrupting her in her enthusiasm.
"Alright, I believe you, Sasaya-senpai," replied Amamiya, smiling with real warmth. But in her eyes lingered a shred of doubt and worry, which she tried to dispel. Perhaps the memories won't be too bad, she thought to herself. After all, I used to love kabuki before…
Wrinkling her nose, Yuu broke into her thoughts and admonished her, "Really, Amamiya-san, I thought we agreed to be on a first-name basis. 'Sasaya-senpai' sounds far too formal for my taste, especially since I have plans to become one of your most trusted friends. There is no way I'm letting a writer of your caliber treat me like a god. Honestly, people make far too much of my reputation."
Sasaya Yuu, with her long, girlish braids and earnest, wide-eyed expression, definitely didn't look like one of Japan's most successful young playwrights and directors, but that's exactly what she was. Her acclaimed play, "The Age-Changing Mountain Pass," had guaranteed a spot for her in the annals of Japanese theater, and demonstrated her captivating story-telling abilities and distinctive style. However, the modest young lady would probably say the best thing about the play was that it allowed her to become closer to its star, the gifted actor Touya Ichii, who was now her husband. Touya was now finishing up his last two plays in Europe, while Yuu had returned earlier from their two-year sojourn abroad, during which they'd honed their skills and gained fame in their respective fields.
Now Sasaya Yuu (who'd kept her maiden names for professional reasons) was in the middle of directing "The Shadow's Heart," her first play since her long-awaited return, and it was already generating a significant amount of publicity and anticipation. "The Shadow's Heart" revolved around a girl born into a samurai family with no male heirs. As a consequence, the emphasis was placed on her beautiful older sister, who was expected to make an advantageous marriage and bring the family back into prominence. To ensure her sister's safety at all the times, the protagonist had been sent away, disguised as a boy, and secretly instructed to become a ruthless warrior well-versed in the art of killing. She was forced to undergo brutal training that killed all her emotions, her dreams, her very heart. Her only goal in life was to protect her sister and kill any threat without hesitation.
But nothing could quench the deepest desires of her heart, and sometimes she would don women's clothing and travel in the province, seeing what it would be like to be a normal girl. One day, during such a trip, she was attacked by vagabonds. Even as she was defending herself, a samurai suddenly appeared and rescued her. Thanking him, she swiftly made her escape, but the encounter lingered in her mind. Later on, she would meet him again and fall in love, and their tragic story formed the plot of "The Shadow's Heart."
Now, there are those of you who may be wondering, "What on earth does Chiori Amamiya have to do with any of this?" The answer is a simple one if you take into account one person: Mogami Kyoko. This close friend of Amamiya, who happened to be an extremely talented actress, had been recruited by Yuu to play the leading role in "The Shadow's Heart."
Kyoko had recently revealed her engagement to Tsuruga Ren to Amamiya (see details in "Patience is its Own Reward"), and swore her friend to secrecy. But Amamiya, a writer at heart, couldn't help but put the touching story down onto paper, and had shyly shown Kyoko her interpretation of it. Kyoko was moved to tears, and urged Amamiya to write another story, one that could be shared with the world.
The result was "Once Again," a story about a girl who was in a tragic car accident that claimed the lives of her parents and placed her in a coma for two years. After being presumed dead, she returns to her home town a decade later under a different name. She reunites with a childhood friend, who falls in love with her but does not recognize her as the girl he knew so long ago. The protagonist slowly learns to live and love again, laying down the grief that haunted her from her parents' deaths.
Kyoko insisted on letting Yuu read it, and she instantly fell in love with the story and took Amamiya under her wing. She brought the fledgling writer to her own mentor, Shimamura Shougo of Garandou Theater, a.k.a. "the Chief." He'd looked over the story and seen the potential and talent it contained, told her to rewrite it, gave her a few tips…and offered an open slot in February to produce her play. If she could finish it by then and sell it to the crew.
Amamiya vowed then and there to do whatever it took to make her dream world into a reality.
So here she was, Sasaya Yuu's unofficial personal assistant, following her new idol around town and helping her put "The Shadow's Heart" together, learning what exactly a playwright/director had to do to bring their plays to life. And she was enjoying every minute of it in a way that she hadn't felt since she'd lost her love of acting. It was if she had been reborn, and she owed it all to Kyoko…and Yuu.
Turning grateful eyes to Yuu, Amamiya finally caught up to her and gave her a small smile, grimacing slightly in pain.
"Hey, are you alright?" asked Yuu in concern.
Laughing and waving a hand, Amamiya replied, "No, no, don't worry about me. It's just that Yumi is working me, Kyoko, and Kanae to the bone. My body still hasn't adjusted, and all my muscles are screaming in agony."
Wincing in sympathy, Yuu gently patted her kouhai on the back and opened the door for her, giggling a little as she imagined Yumi, a sweet, tiny, elderly lady, as the demanding taskmaster. She could picture it now…
"Yuu-san? Yuu-san, are you listening to me?" said Amamiya, her head tilted questioningly to the side.
Snapping back into reality, Yuu answered, "Ah! Yes!" Then furrowing her brow, she continued, "Sorry about that, I tend to get lost in my thoughts often, imagining how people would react if I put them into certain situations and the like. But your reaction just now…it reminded me of someone else. Someone very familiar."
Amamiya simply shrugged and said, "Is that so? Well, I hope it's somebody nice at least. Anyway, back to the problem at hand. Where exactly are these VIP seats of yours? I'm dying to sit down and rest my aching legs."
"Ah, sorry! They're this way, just follow me," Yuu said, and pulled Amamiya along in the right direction. But she couldn't help but look at the younger girl, her eyes widening slightly as she remembered exactly who it was she reminded her of: Sawamura Fujinosuke.
A few minutes later, the pair had finally found their seats and settled down. Yuu of course had already shed her "playwright" skin and transformed completely into a normal member of the audience, eagerly awaiting the start of the performance. She even gasped as the curtain rose and the dream-like world of kabuki played out on the stage. Her eyes followed each graceful movement, each elegant step of the actors, and she was soon lost in the tragic story of a lady eternally waiting for her lover to return from war.
Amamiya was another matter altogether.
Her face was a perfect mask, completely devoid of emotion except for a slight show of interest and polite anticipation. Yuu was too absorbed to notice how the usual spark in Amamiya's eyes, present at every other play she'd dragged her to, was missing as she gazed upon the kabuki stage. Replacing it was a whirlwind of emotion, a mixture of sadness and anger, pain and regret…and surprisingly, fragile love and hope, as well. It was almost as if she saw a different story acted out on the stage, a different scene than the one being performed. A scene formed from the mists of memory and a half-forgotten past…
Amamiya was all of five years old, happily clinging to her grandmother's hand as they made their way to the grand entrance of the kabuki theater. Her parents followed closely behind, talking and laughing at their daughter's enthusiasm.
"Obaa-san, Obaa-san, was our family really in kabuki?" she asked eagerly.
"Yes, Amamiya, it's true. My family was one of the most prominent in kabuki, and produced several famous actors," her delicate, beautiful grandmother replied. "Unfortunately, I was my father's only child, and without any male heirs, the Nakajimas were soon forgotten shortly after I was born. But even now, I love to go and see the plays, and maintain several connections. That's how I was able to get us seats today. We are lucky, you know. Sawamura Shinnoujou, the man hailed as Japan's National Treasure, is performing today, so the theater will be packed!"
"Is it really as beautiful as you say, Obaa-san?" Amamiya asked, eyes shining.
Smiling, her grandmother Chiori Shizuka, née Nakajima, only replied, "No, my dearest. It's far more beautiful than I could ever describe."
That day she had fallen in love with the beautiful costumes, the graceful movements, the mirage-like quality of the entire stage. Being only five years old, she couldn't fully understand the story, but she could understand the emotions conveyed, the spirit of the play. She was especially entranced by the lead actress, and couldn't keep her eyes off of her. It seemed as if every motion told a story.
"That's Sawamura-san," her grandmother said. "You can't even tell he's a man, can you?"
Amamiya could only watch and shake her head, so absorbed that it didn't even matter. The fact that it was a man playing the samurai's wife onstage only added to the magic of kabuki.
On their way home, she said, "Obaa-san, I want to be like that someday. I want to tell stories onstage."
Laughing gently, her grandmother replied, "Then you shall be an actress, my dearest. An actress the likes of which I never got a chance to be."
Seven years later, and she was twelve years old, already bitter and broken by the many rejections, her dream horribly shattered by reality. No directors needed an "Akari" or a "twisted child," and they never gave her a chance to prove she could play a different role. Her father's death in a train accident and her mother's subsequent hardships were even heavier burdens to bear, and sadness permeated the once-happy household. In an effort to conceal her pain and ease her mother's worry, she put on a façade of cheerfulness and optimism. She could only reveal her true feelings on paper, or when she was with her grandmother.
One day, sensing the weight of her sadness was threatening to crush her, Shizuka took her granddaughter out to see a kabuki play. This time however, was radically different from the previous performances. This time, there was no happy smile of innocence on Amamiya's face, only a sullen, wounded look. This time, they didn't swing hands; instead, her grandmother leaned on her arm for support. This time, there were no laughing parents walking just behind them; one was dead and buried, the other trapped in a haze of grief.
This time, Amamiya hated the world onstage. She hated its beauty, its majesty. She hated the props, the costumes, the lights, everything! Most of all, she hated the actors, who still continued to tell their stories, live their lives, do the things she wanted to do but never could. She despised them!
Her hands had clenched into fists in her lap, and she'd hunched forward, screwing her eyes shut and trying to regain her mask of indifference. She couldn't let anyone see her like this. They'd laugh at her and mock her for being so weak and uncontrolled.
Suddenly, a warm hand covered hers, and her grandmother gently whispered, "Amamiya, look up. Right now, you're not an actress, you're just a part of the audience, and the actors onstage move and speak and tell their tales only for you. So don't bow your head, dearest. Someday that stage will be yours. Maybe you'll never belong there as an actress, but that stage will belong to you. I know it. So don't turn away, Amamiya, don't let the bitterness kill the joy of sharing a story."
Laying her head on her grandmother's shoulder, Amamiya watched the kabuki performance with wide, teary eyes, rekindling the love she had for a story well-told. And she vowed to herself to fulfill her grandmother's expectations and own that stage someday.
But that vow was forgotten, as the very next week her beloved grandmother died in her sleep, leaving Amamiya with a broken heart and a broken spirit. From that day on, she grew only bitterer. Forgetting her grandmother's words and drifting further apart from her mother, she showed the world a cheerful façade that hid the resentment and hatred burning inside. And never again did she step into a kabuki theater, that world dreams and magic transformed into one of false promises and twisted lies.
Never again…until today.
As the memories faded gently away, an older and wiser Amamiya, one recently freed from the worst of her bitterness, could once again watch a kabuki performance with a child's wonder. She remembered her grandmother's words and reassurances, remembered the promise she had made to herself to someday own a stage. And she smiled a little sadly at the thought that that promise might finally be fulfilled.
So, almost against her will, she felt herself falling in love again with the world of kabuki, discovering that it was indeed a world of dreams and magic. She watched the actors bring to life a story of epic proportions as they stood amongst an elegantly crafted set, clothed in regal clothing, and moving with unearthly grace.
One actor, who played the lead female role, enthralled her as never before. It was just like the very first time she watched a kabuki performance, sitting next to her grandmother. This time, however, the feeling of rapture was about ten times stronger. She felt as if she were mesmerized by his every movement, his every word. Such grace and beauty! How her heart ached to watch him. It didn't matter if the person onstage was a woman or a man—she couldn't tell at all, and she simply didn't care. All that mattered were the emotions and the story in his eyes, and never before had she seen emotions as beautiful and a story as captivating as this. Even as she fell in love with the world of kabuki, she fell in love with him.
At the end of the performance, as the actors made their final bow, he looked up and glanced in their direction. She could tell that he looked especially at Yuu, and he smiled ever so slightly as he saw her clapping. Then, he gave one quick glance in Amamiya's direction, and their eyes met for what seemed like ages. Her breath caught in her throat, and it felt like her heart was about to burst, but she could only look at him helplessly, trapped by his gaze. Abruptly, he turned away and the moment passed, but it was far too late for Amamiya.
In that one fateful glance, the rest of the world had ceased to exist. For her, there was only him.
Sawamura Fujinosuke.
Endnotes:
On the Japanese--Obaa-san means grandmother in Japanese, for those of you who don't know. And -senpai is an honorific indicating someone in a position of seniorirty. Kouhai is its counterpart, indicating someone in a subordinate position.
On the story--This is simply my interpretation of Chiori Amamiya and Sawamura Fujinosuke's relationship, set within the story of "The Shadow's Heart." As such, it is the fanfiction of a fanfiction, a pale imitation. Most of the credit goes to leavesfallingup for connecting Skip Beat! and Ashita no Ousama and creating this world--we just tinkered with it a little. So please, please read "Patience is its Own Reward" and "The Shadow's Heart." They're wonderful, we promise!
Thank you for reading this story, and please review if you can. :)