Harry

Ginny didn't bother her mother with her identity crises again until the summer holidays of the year after Ron started school. That's not to say that between the ages of five and eleven Ginny had miraculously discovered who she was and how to be 'Ginny' in a family so filled with strong-minded boys. It was more that Ginny decided that she was strong enough to be herself without her mother's input. After all, Ginny had little desire to be the type of woman her mother was, so she saw no need to talk about it with her. The frills and daintiness her mother seemed to prefer in a girl just turned Ginny cold, even at the age of five or six when her mother had last tried to stuff her into a delicate dress for some ancient relative's birthday.

Today, however, desperation drove Ginny to her mother. Ron's return from Hogwarts hadn't been the joyous reunion she had expected, and Ginny needed to talk to someone about it. She lurked around the doorway to the kitchen, scuffing her feet and casting anxious looks towards her hard working mother. Molly pretended not to notice, having learnt in the past that pressing Ginny to talk was the one sure way to get her to clam up. Finally, Ginny spoke.

'Mum?'

'Yes, dear?' Molly kept her voice light and placid, inviting more confidences while she kept on with her tasks. She kept her back towards her daughter, allowing her to sidle into the room and perch on the bench without feeling pressured to talk.

For a few moments Ginny watched her mother directing her wand at the food she was preparing, the vegetables obediently slicing themselves under Molly's watchful eye. Suddenly she spoke. 'I thought it would be the same, Mum, when Ron got home. But it's not. He's different.'

'School does that to people, dear. They grow up.' Molly turned to her daughter and smiled at her. 'You'll find the same thing happens when you go to school next year.'

'But, Ron was my best friend, but now he doesn't want to know me.' There was a suspicious catch in Ginny's voice as she spoke.

'I know this is hard for you, Ginny, but you need to realise that he has his own friends now. You'll be going to school soon, and you'll find your own friends.' Her mother's voice was warm and caring. She knew how much Ginny had looked forward to Ron's return, and how devastating his seeming indifference must be. 'Soon enough you won't want Ron hanging around with you.'

Ginny shook her head, sure that would never be possible. Ron may be really annoying at times, but he was her friend, her rock when everyone else had left. She had missed him terribly when he himself had gone to school.

'I don't want my own friends. I want Ron's friends.' The words came out in a mutinous mutter, but Molly heard them clearly. She smiled to herself, careful to keep Ginny from seeing her amusement. Now they were getting to the heart of the problem. Harry Potter. Of course.

'Sweetheart, you can't expect your brother to share his friends, no matter how much you may want to meet one of them. That's not how life works.'

Ginny's chin jutted out and her eyes held a challenging stare as she looked at Molly, absolutely sure of her own mind. 'But, Mum. It's Harry Potter, and Ron says I'm not allowed to be with them at school.' Ginny's hands clenched and her voice dropped into a whine. 'It's not fair.'

'Oh love!' Molly paused from her work to give Ginny a quick hug. 'I know it's not easy to hear, but that's the way of life. You'll be in different years, so even if he wanted to, you couldn't be together all the time.'

'He didn't even care that it's Harry Potter, Mum. Why does he get to be friends and I don't?' There was a hint of awe in Ginny's voice and her face lit up as she breathed her hero's name. The longing Ginny felt to know someone so famous was unmistakable.

Giving Ginny's shoulder one last affectionate squeeze, Molly turned back to her work. 'Probably because he doesn't care, love. I imagine that poor boy is sick of people who only want to know him because of who he is.'

Ginny thought about it for a while, and admitted the wisdom of her mother's words. After all, she knew what it was like to live with everyone expecting certain things of you just because of who you happened to be. But that was different. All that Ginny had was being the unexpected girl. Harry Potter actually was 'someone' already, and now Ron was too because he was his friend. This led her to another grievance.

'Ron acts like he's so cool. Like going to school makes him better than me.' Her voice was bitter with frustration and jealousy. She slid off the bench and moved to the table, kicking the leg as she went to vent some of her feelings. Molly laid some fresh scones on the table and put a cup of steaming weak tea in front of Ginny, laughing while she did so.

'Don't you remember Ron's rage when Fred and George came home after their first year and acted the same? Or the way the twins had to play even more pranks on Percy than usual because he was so puffed up with importance?'

Ginny thought about it, then nodded reluctant agreement.

'I don't like it, Mum. I was here by myself all year and I thought ... I thought Ron would miss me too, but he doesn't. He only wants to talk about his cool school friends.' She took a sip of her tea to distract herself from the feelings that swirled in her.

'I'm sure he did miss you, Ginny. But it's not his fault that you were alone when he was at school.' As Ginny opened her mouth to protest, Molly carried on, 'I know it's unfair, Ginny. But that's what you get being the youngest.' There was a lump in Molly's throat as she looked at Ginny. It really was unfair being the youngest, but there were certain compensations. Opening her mouth to point these out to Ginny, Molly was stopped when Ginny herself spoke up.

'Mum?'

"Yes, dear?"

Ginny kept her eyes on her mug as she said, 'I'm scared.'

This was obviously what Ginny had been leading up to, and Molly breathed an internal sigh of relief.

'Of what, dear? '

'Of going to school.' Ginny's voice was low, with none of the slightly whiny quality it had held when she was talking about Ron's friendship with Harry.

'What about school?'

'Meeting new people, being away from home. Missing you and Dad. What if no-one wants to be my friend?' Ginny's voice dropped to a whisper. 'Ron says his friends won't want to.'

Molly reached over and squeezed Ginny's hand. 'Oh love, you know what Ron's like. He's only winding you up. Of course you'll meet people. Luna Lovegood from across the way will be going to school too. You'll know her at least.'

Ginny's mouth twisted a little. 'But Mum, she's weird. She says strange stuff.'

Molly looked at Ginny thoughtfully over her tea cup, and eventually said, 'Ginny, do you remember how you once told me you didn't like the way people always expected you to be a certain way because of your place in the family and how you're the only girl?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, don't you think that expecting Luna to be weird, or Harry Potter to be amazing, is doing that same thing to them?'

Ginny's face shut down, and her mother knew she had lost the conversation.

'Just think about it a little, OK dear? Harry will be coming to visit soon, and we can invite Luna over for an afternoon, so you can see how you like her now she's a little older. And I promise, you will make friends at school.' She patted her daughter's hand as she got up to begin preparing the evening meal. Ginny gave her a wan smile, but didn't look totally reassured by the conversation.

Ginny did think about what her mother had said. It was one of the only things she thought about for the next few days. Despite what her mum had said, the idea of going to school and having to make new friend s outside her family still terrified her, and she decided that the best way to convince Ron to let her join him and his friends was to talk about them constantly. Or, more to the point, to talk about Harry Potter constantly. While she k new that her mother was probably right about the expectations she was putting onto the people she met, Ginny couldn't help doing it.

When Luna came to visit, she was weird, with a kind of spacey disinterest in what others thought of her. Ginny envied her the ability not to care about the opinions of others, but she still couldn't see past the oddness to want to be friends with this person even though she was desperate for a friend. As for Harry, well, Ginny already knew he was amazing. Ron's stories of everything the two of them and his other friend Hermione had done, were thrilling. Ginny wanted nothing more than to join in, to be part of the glamour that seemed to surround Harry, and even Ron by association.

Ginny loved her mother, of course she did, but sometimes she wondered if her mother actually knew her at all. She had, in fact, seen her mother's smirk when she mentioned Harry's name that day, and it incensed her. Yes, she wanted to meet him, but it was more about the prestige of being his friend than it was about anything romantic. She had seen him twice, after all, and he wasn't all that much to look at with his baggy clothes and shaggy hair. But it really wasn't fair that Ron got to be his friend and wouldn't share. Ginny was left to be a nobody by herself, while Ron got to be friends with one of the most famous people alive. And ... and, Ron already had friends and she had none, and now she had to go to school so soon and what if people didn't like her?

She knew Molly meant well, but Ginny found herself doubting some of the things that she had said. She swung uncomfortably between being relieved from her fears by what her mother had told her, and having her fears screeching out of control because she just couldn't believe it could be as easy as that.

When Harry did arrive, Ginny became even more despairing. For the first time in her life, she wasn't able to hold a conversation with someone. How could she possibly make nice friends at school when she couldn't even talk to the one person she most wanted to befriend? It was with ever-deepening worry that she boarded the train that would take her to this new place where people would judge her not on being 'the girl' but on being herself. As much as she had wished to be accepted for who she was, Ginny was scared that she might not be good enough.