Post 'Jefferson Lives'

CJ bent the blinds so she could see through them. The fireworks had just begun. She got up and pulled the cord, lifting the blinds so they wouldn't block out the view.

"Nice view."

She turned to find Danny standing in her doorway, waiting on the threshold.

"Hey," she smiled.

"You're not going down?"

"I'd miss the show en route."

He nodded, "You want me to leave you alone?"

"No. Come in. You don't usually wait for an invitation. What's up?"

He walked up beside her and looked out the window. She looked up also, afraid to look at him for too long.

He didn't answer her. She felt foreboding welling in her gut. "You're not sticking around are you?"

He sighed, looked at her, and nodded ever so slightly.

"Why not?" She swallowed, glad the room wasn't well lit, exposing the emotion that must have been obvious on her face.

"You were right – we're really not helping each other. You know how I feel about you CJ, but nothing's going to change and my being here is only going to make your life more difficult." He fiddled with his cuff. "And mine."

She looked out at the falling, bright-burning ashes. "De ja vu." She sighed.

"Yeah?"

She nodded. It felt like yesterday and a decade at once since he'd said good bye the last time. "Where are you headed this time? Back to Africa?"

"For a while."

She nodded, "You couldn't just take another job in DC?"

He smiled, "How much difference would it really make?"

"There's only one way to find out."

"You are such a tease."

"What?" she saw his raised eyebrows and the indignation fell from her features. "Oh, that." She remembered showing him how she could 'have him' in her office – only a few weeks ago. Perhaps if she'd not stopped there he'd not be leaving. Again. "You did ask."

"I know."

"Did I take it too far?"

"Or not far enough."

She slapped his shoulder then rested her hand there for a stolen moment. "How would kissing help this?"

"One way to find out." He crouched down beside her desk and tapped her fish bowl. "How is the old girl?"

"Swimmingly."

"Cute." He stood up. The fireworks were coming to their big finale and he stepped toward the window, but not close. He watched, her figure framing the show, arms crossed in self-protection across her chest.

When it was over she sat down.

"You going to keep working?"

"I was going to try."

"Not going well then?"

"I keep getting distracted. Can't imagine why."

"I'll go." He backed to the door.

She stood up and he paused his exit.

"Did you want something CJ?"

"Um," she stepped around her desk.

"Um?"

"Yes. Um."

He stepped towards her, eyes sparkling, waiting expectantly.

"Don't stay away forever."

"Don't worry, I like the constant rejection. I'm a sucker for it."

"That can't be healthy. You should probably give it up."

"I tried. Wasn't my style."

"Okay." She was almost ready to let him go.

"You really want me to?"

She hesitated. No. But she had to say 'yes'. She couldn't keep putting him through this. He was a good guy, deserved better – well, most of the time he did.

She nodded.

"Okay." His voice was weak. With a nod he left her standing there.

She watched him go, finally tearing her eyes away and ignoring every feeling, suddenly focussed entirely on her work and with no plan of going home soon.