Chapter 1

Fitzwilliam Darcy was tired. Since April, since he had proposed marriage to Elizabeth Bennet – and been soundly rejected – he had not been able to sleep well. Dreams of her kept him awake. Additionally, the past few days of traveling in company with Caroline Bingley had not helped. Her constant attempts to ingratiate herself to himself and Georgiana, along with her nearly pleading to ride in the carriage along with his sister was driving him to distraction. His curt answers did little to dissuade her at ever stop, but he had held firm and had thus far managed not to ride in a carriage with her for any part of the trip.

He would need to apologize profusely to Georgiana later for subjecting her to Caroline's company, and he needed to find a way to cut that connection without also cutting Bingley's. However, until Miss Bingley married, she would continue to attempt to attach herself to him. He wondered if his own marriage would even be able to stop that harpy's behavior toward him. He would not be surprised if she continued to act in that same way even after the vows were said.

With that in mind, he knocked on his sister's door, almost before the sun rose, telling her he would ride ahead of the party to arrive at Pemberley that day. The rest of the party would still arrive tomorrow, but he would handle some 'pressing' matters so he could could his full attention to their guests. Georgiana nodded, seeming to recognize his need for escape and whispered that she understood. She knew Miss Bingley's attentions were acutely frustrating to her brother and thought that he may need some distance from her for a time. It seemed to be worse than usual on this trip and she wondered what had her brother out of sorts. He had not been himself since he had gone to Hertfordshire. It had been worse for a time after he returned from Kent – he had seemed nearly hopeless – but there was a marked difference in him now. He almost seemed sad, but he was far kinder, particularly to those outside the family.

By midafternoon, Darcy had reached the turn off from Lambton into Pemberley's long drive. He had ridden hard and was hot, sweaty, and dusty. As he approached the house, he slowed, briefly considering how much better this homecoming would have been had he been successful in his desire to win Elizabeth's hand. He often had thought about how much he wanted to show her his home and how much she would have enjoyed Pemberley. At least, he hoped his letter had impacted how she thought of him. Maybe, just maybe, she thought a little bit better of him. He shook his head, trying to clear it from thoughts of her. He did not expect to ever see her again, but he was determined to be a better man – for her sake as much as for his.

He crested the hill that brought him him to the view of the house he had dreamt of showing Elizabeth. He imagined standing behind her as she viewed the prospect, of seeing Pemberley, with the sun shining on its windows, reflected in the lake in front of it. She would appreciate the wildness of it, the lack of formality in its gardens and how nature had been encouraged instead of stifled.

He looked again toward the house and noticed a carriage in the drive and several people walking the gardens. Even from this distance, one of the visitors reminded him of Elizabeth. Of course, the problem with that was that he saw Elizabeth everywhere lately. Still … he headed in that direction. It could not hurt to get a bit closer just to see, although he was certain to be disappointed once again. She had no reason to be at Pemberley, after all.

Elizabeth was touring the gardens of Pemberley with her aunt and uncle. Her aunt had grown up in the small village of Lambton and they had brought her along on this trip to visit with her family and friends. When they had suggested visiting Pemberley, Elizabeth had initially demurred, but her aunt had insisted, and they had been assured at the inn that the family was not in residence for the summer. Once they arrived, the housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds had told them that both Mr. and Miss Darcy were expected to arrive tomorrow. Elizabeth was left feeling torn – part of her was glad to have missed him, although a small part of her longed to see him again and to beg his forgiveness for the harsh words she had spoken to him that night in Kent.

Mrs. Reynolds had painted her master in glowing terms. "The best master, the best landlord, the best brother," she had said. "Never heard a cross word from him in my life," was another accolade she had offered. Elizabeth listened to every word of praise the housekeeper offered and tried to reconcile these words with the haughty and taciturn man that she had known in both Meryton and Kent. Mrs. Reynolds acknowledged that some called him proud, but she had categorized him as reticent more than arrogant and Elizabeth understood one more piece of his character.

Leaving the house, they were handed off to the head gardener to be shown some of the gardens that were open to the public. She walked slowly behind the rest, not really seeing anything, but reliving moments of her acquaintance with Mr. Darcy and chastising herself for her foolishness. Not for rejecting him – she knew she had not been wrong for that – but for her failure to understand the man in all his depths. As she had been doing often over the last several months, she reflected again on all the ways she had misinterpreted him over the course of their acquaintance. Perhaps if she had understood him better, she would have been able to develop feelings that would have made it more acceptable for her to have agreed to his proposal.

Lost in these thoughts, she started when she heard her name from a voice she never expected to hear again.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet?" Mr. Darcy called softly. "Is that you?"

She turned, gasping and putting her hand to her chest in her surprise. "Mr. Darcy," she cried, he face registering her shock. She quickly looked down, coloring brightly. "I'm so sorry, sir, they told us in town the family was not in residence for the summer. I would have never presumed …" She faltered, not quite knowing what to say next. She murmured quickly then: "I know you must hate the very sight of me, sir. I will collect my aunt and uncle, and we will leave immediately. I do apologize for presuming to visit when you were away, but my aunt insisted on seeing it again."

He just stared at her, not really taking in her words, but drinking in the sight of her. The silence lasted several moments and when the silence became too much, she curtsied and began to hurry away. She did not look up at him, afraid of seeing the anger that must be in his eyes and on his face.

Her movement shook him alert. What did she say? he thought. "Eliz … Miss Bennet, wait, please." He strode after her and caught her elbow before she could take more than a couple of steps away. "You will always be welcome at Pemberley. Whatever do you mean that I must hate the sight of you?"

"After our last meeting, sir, I cannot image you would want to see me again, especially here, at your home," Elizabeth said, still unwilling to meet his eyes. "I was so intemperate in what I said that evening in the parsonage. I … I have regretted much about that evening. I'm afraid I allowed my temper to get the best of me and after reading your letter, well, I, I realized that … well, suffice it to say I am not as good a judge of character as I once thought."

"Miss Bennet, please look at me," he pleaded. She raised her eyes to his and he let out his breath. "I also have many regrets about that night. I… ," he sighed. "I deserved much of what you said to me then. I have been arrogant and rude, and I must also beg your forgiveness for my hateful words that night and even for my attitude when writing that letter." He stopped and took a deep breath again before rushing on. "Although, I must tell you that while I feel many things and have felt many things since that night, hating you has never once entered my mind."

Elizabeth drew a sharp breath, but her eyes, now locked with his, did not waver. "What have you felt?" she

He chucked slightly to himself and shook his head, debating how much to confess. One thing he knew for certain, the passage of time had not changed how he felt about her at all. He still loved her, perhaps even more now than he had in April. Despite his efforts to forget her, both after he left her in Hertfordshire and again in Kent, he knew he would never love another.

Taking a deep breath, he confessed all. "Certainly at first, I was angry, then I felt resigned mixed with a tinge of despair. I have felt frustration – mostly at myself and at my own stupidity for assuming you returned my affection and were expecting my addresses. Resolved – for a brief moment, I stupidly thought I could forget you, but I confess, that was impossible, Elizabeth." He paused, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips, caressing it lightly as he looked deeply into her eyes. "And then again despair, at the idea of never seeing you again. Finally, I have become determined – to fix the parts of my character you found wanting so I could prove myself worth of you." He paused again for a moment, his eyes imploring hers.

"And at this particular moment, I must admit that I finally feel hope. A hope that maybe, just maybe, my letter may have changed your opinion of me enough that you might be willing to give me a chance to win your heart."

He watched her eyes as he spoke and watched the play of emotions over her face and the deepening color that rose in her face. Part of him was stunned at his open admission, possibly as shocked as she was at it. But, if he were honest with himself, he believed that fate was at work in bringing them back together and that if he was going to have another chance, he had to do better than he had done before. This time, he thought to himself, I will leave her in no doubt of how I feel for her.

Neither spoke for a moment. "How is it possible that you do you not hate me after the unjust accusations I threw at you?" she asked.

"I love you, Elizabeth," he said softly. "I think there is nothing that could make me truly hate you. From the beginning of our relationship, such as it has been, you have entranced me, challenged me, tempted me. Your wit, your humor, your liveliness, all have captured my attention completely. I was a poor suitor, I realized too late. Richard castigated me as a fool when I told him what happened that night in the parsonage, and he was right to do so. I was too silent, too unyielding when I was with you. I sat and watched you when I should have been courting you and trying to win your heart. I would like another chance, if you would be willing to give it."

She looked at him intently for several minutes. "Why have you not come back to Hertfordshire?" she asked giving nothing away of her feelings.

"I did not think you would want me to," he admitted softly. "I have thought about it many times. In fact, Bingley will be here tomorrow along with his sisters and mine. I had planned to talk to him about Miss Bennet and see if after a couple of weeks here, he would like to send his sisters somewhere else so he and I could go to back to Netherfield, for the shooting of course." He grinned at her. "He has been away from London since Easter, visiting his family and friends in York, and we had only met briefly in London before coming here. I … I have not had an opportunity to talk to him before now, but I planned to do so while we were here. I did not want to make my confession to him in a letter, but perhaps I should have. Would … would we still be welcomed by the neighbors if we were to come back to Netherfield?"

"You would both be very welcome in Hertfordshire," she said so softly he had to lean in to hear her. He smiled at her and opened his mouth to say more.

Just then, they heard voices approaching. "Elizabeth, where are you?" a female voice called.

She smiled at him and said quietly "My aunt and uncle." Then she called louder, "Here I am, Aunt Gardiner."

The others came around a curve in the path and all stopped short when they saw the two standing together. "Mr. Darcy," the gardener called. "I am glad to see you come home, sir. We did not expect you until tomorrow."

"Thank you, Chambers. I found I needed to come sooner and I find I am very glad I did. Miss Elizabeth, will you introduce me to your relations?" he said graciously.

"Mr. Darcy, allow me to introduce you to my Uncle Edward Gardiner and my Aunt Madeline Gardiner. My uncle owns Gardiner Imports located in Cheapside in London," Elizabeth said. "Aunt and Uncle, this is Mr. Darcy."

"Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner," Mr. Darcy began. "Welcome to Pemberley. I hope you are enjoying your visit. Have you finished your tour?"

"Yes, Mr. Darcy," Madeline Gardiner answered, surprised at the polite greeting. "Your estate is everything lovely. Although I am sure there is much we have not seen, the house and gardens have been lovely. What did you think of the grounds, Lizzy?"

"There is much to admire at Pemberley," Elizabeth said, glancing shyly at Mr. Darcy." The gardens are indeed wonderful. There is indeed much to see."

"I have only just arrived," Mr. Darcy said, indicating his disheveled and dusty attire, "but if you would care to explore a bit further, I would welcome your company for refreshments in a quarter of an hour, perhaps."

Mrs. Gardiner looked at Lizzy for confirmation. At her slight nod, she accepted his invitation for the group. "Thank you, Mr. Darcy. We would love to join you for refreshments."

Mr. Darcy nodded and headed toward the house to change. Mrs. Gardiner took Elizabeth's arm and spoke quietly to her. "How did this happen, Lizzy? How on earth did you come across Mr. Darcy? And after how you described him in December, I am surprised that he would be willing to offer us refreshments, although Mrs. Reynolds took a much more positive view of him. And spoke very differently about a different gentleman from Derbyshire"

"I met with Mr. Darcy again in Kent, Aunt." Elizabeth said. "I have found that he improves with further acquaintance. And I have learned that the other is anything but a gentleman."

Mrs. Gardiner looked at her niece for a moment, and then the three continued their tour before Mr. Chambers delivered them again to the front of the house. Mrs. Reynolds once again welcomed them into the house and escorted them into a drawing room they had not seen on their earlier tour of the house. She seemed to look over Elizabeth much more carefully this time and wondered about the master's invitation of these visitors in for refreshments.

Mr. Darcy greeted them warmly. "Welcome, again," he said. "I never asked, how do you come to be at Pemberley?"

Mrs. Gardiner answered for the group. "We had planned to visit the Lakes but had to abbreviate our trip and decided to visit Derbyshire instead. I grew up in Lambton – my father was the vicar there for many years – so we thought would take the opportunity to visit some old friends while we were here and use Lambton as the base for our other excursions."

"How long will you stay in the area?" Mr. Darcy asked.

"I must be back in London by the end of August for business," Mr. Gardiner answered. "We arrived the day before yesterday and will stay another week complete. We will take our time returning and will deliver Lizzy to Longbourn before we must then head back to London."

"Mr. Gardiner, I believe my uncle, the Earl of Matlock, mentioned that he has been investing with an importer in Cheapside recently. That would not be you, would it? It would explain why your name seems so familiar." Mr. Darcy asked suddenly.

"Yes, he started investing with me just after Christmas to diversify some of his holdings. He mentioned he was going to encourage a nephew to do the same. I believe we are scheduled to meet sometime after my return to London." Mr. Gardiner answered.

"My uncle mentioned a meeting and encouraged my attendance," Mr. Darcy said. "I am looking forward to learning more about your business and the potential for investment with you."

"Edward, you are on holiday," Mrs. Gardiner chided. "No business talk."

"Yes, dear," Mr. Gardiner complied, winking at Mr. Darcy who grinned back at him. Elizabeth looked at him in surprise.

"May we talk about fishing, madam?" Darcy asked, smiling when he received a nod from the lady. "Mr. Gardiner, do you care for the sport?"

"Indeed, I do," he said. "In London, I have few opportunities, but I enjoy the diversion when I can manage it."

"We have several streams on the estate that are ideal for fishing, and the lake, depending on the type of fishing you prefer," Mr. Darcy explained. "If you'd like, you can come back tomorrow or the next day to fish. If you wait until the day after tomorrow, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst will be here as well and would be happy to join us as well."

"Well, sir, I would enjoy that very much." Mr. Gardiner said.

"Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Elizabeth, my sister would very much enjoy your company when Mr. Gardiner comes to fish. I would like to bring Miss Darcy tomorrow to meet you, if you would allow it, and then you could join her for tea, perhaps, on the following day." Mr. Darcy suggested. "My sister would very much like to make your acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth, and I hope you would allow me to introduce her to you while you are visiting."

Elizabeth colored slightly and looked at her hands. "I would like to meet Miss Darcy very much. I have heard much about her." She looked up at him and, catching his eye, smiled. Their eyes locked for a long moment before they both turned away.

"Did you have a chance to see the library earlier?" Mr. Darcy asked.

"We did not," Mrs. Gardiner answered.

"May I show it to you when we are done with our tea?" Mr. Darcy continued.

"After Miss Bingley's praise of it, I would very much like to see it, if I may," Elizabeth offered.

"I would prefer to sit and rest for a few more minutes before we go," Mrs. Gardiner said. "If you'd like to see it, Lizzy, I will allow Mr. Darcy to escort you. Perhaps a maid or a footman could be spared to serve as a chaperone, Mr. Darcy?"

Mr. Darcy agreed and rang for a maid to attend them. He and Elizabeth both stood, and he offered his arm to escort her. She placed her hand on his elbow lightly and he reveled in her light touch on his person.

They were both quiet as they walked through the house. He opened the library door with a flourish and waved her inside.

Elizabeth was in awe. The room was huge, two stories of bookshelves on three walls – the fourth wall a wall of windows overlooking the gardens, riotous with colors. On the opposition side of the room was a large fireplace and several settees and armchairs placed in groupings around the room.

"I think I could stay in this room forever," she said, then colored brightly. "I did not mean …"

He chuckled. "Think nothing of it," he said, smiling gently at her.

"Miss Elizabeth …" "Mr. Darcy …" they said at the same time.

Holding her eyes with his, he took a step closer and took her hand in his. "Elizabeth," he breathed. "Do I have a chance of winning your heart? I am not above bribing you with my library if that is what is necessary," he teased lightly then turned serious again. "One word from you will silence me forever, but please tell me if my hope is in vain."

"This library is definitely an inducement," she teased. "But Mr. Darcy, I have to correct you on this misconception you seem to have."

He looked at her hesitantly, his heart in his eyes, waiting for her to continue.

"You have asked twice now if you have a chance of winning my heart. I'm quite afraid, sir, that you already possess it." Elizabeth told him, returning his gaze, and blushing slightly at her daring.

He stared at her. "What …? How …?" He stammered.

"I admit, I read your letter several times that day before I was able to return to the parsonage," she told him. "At first, I wanted to doubt its veracity. I wanted to believe you to be in the wrong. The more times I read it; however, the more credence I began to give to it, and by the time I returned to the parsonage that afternoon my heart was beginning to change. I began reviewing all of our interactions in my mind, both in Hertfordshire and in Kent. My initial dislike of you – based on the comment you made at the assembly in Meryton – had colored all of my interactions and made me far to willing to judge you all too harshly."

"Wait, what comment?" he interrupted.

"'She is tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me …'" she quoted in a deeper than normal voice in an attempt to imitate his own.

Darcy groaned. "I said that about you?" he said, his face turning ashen. "I vaguely remember saying something to Bingley because he would not leave me alone about dancing that night. I did not want to be there – I wanted to be in London with Georgiana, but my aunt and Richard believed I needed to give her some space. I had told Bingley before we even arrived that I had no intention of dancing that night, but he kept at me anyway. I simply wanted to be left alone."

He frustratedly ran his hands through his hair. "No wonder you hated me in Hertfordshire. I deserved your ire and more. That was a part of your reprimand in Kent about ungentlemanly behavior, was it not? I was so wrong to even think that, so much more so to say that out loud about you or any other woman. My behavior was abominable. Can you forgive me?"

"You are forgiven," Elizabeth said. "Can you forgive me for my harsh words in the parsonage?"

"Again, dear Elizabeth, there is nothing to forgive," he said. "I was in need of your reproof. You must know that I find you lovely … and far too tempting for my own good. Your eyes… there are no words to describe what your eyes do to me. No woman has ever before captured my attention the way you do. You alone hold my heart, Elizabeth, and you will have it forever." He captured her hands again and brought both hands to his lips for a kiss. He kissed the knuckles on both hands before turning her hands over and placing kisses on her palm and the inside of her wrist.

"Elizabeth, I love you. I would like to ask you for your hand in marriage, but if it is too soon for that, might I ask for a courtship? Can your uncle give permission in your father's stead?" he inquired.

"Whichever you ask for, Mr. Darcy, the answer will be the same. You may ask whichever question you wish. And yes, you may ask my uncle for permission, but you may be interested to know that I came of age last month, sir." Elizabeth told him archly.

Mr. Darcy looked carefully at Elizabeth. "Are you saying that whichever question I ask, I would get the same answer?"

"Yes, Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth answered, smiling archly.

He dropped to his knee in front of her and, again, kissed both of her hands.

"My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Of loving me and letting me love you for the rest of our lives? I will do everything in my power to make you happy for all of your days."

Tears streaming down her face, she laughed. "Yes, Mr. Darcy, I will marry you."

He stood and caught her into his arms, hugging her tightly to him, and then, briefly, touched his lips to hers.

"How soon can we marry?" he asked.

She laughed. "Let us go speak to my aunt and uncle and make what plans we can. We can send an express to my family this afternoon if you would like."