Swenson parked her car next to Jackson's in the driveway, and walked to the front door. She kept thinking about what had happened and couldn't quite figure it all out. It had all seemed okay until Colonel O'Neill had invited her to join them on their camping trip. After that, it had seemed like Jackson had shut down. Did he dislike her so much that he didn't want her to come along or was there some other reason? Was she right about him being gay and in a relationship with the colonel? Was he jealous, that the colonel had invited her along? Maybe moving in here was not such a great idea after all. Maybe he just didn't like her.
She let herself in, not wanting to disturb Jackson. The house was dark and quiet, no signs of Jackson. "Maybe he went to bed? Nah, it is barely dinnertime. He probably went for a walk," she thought as she made her way to her room. Passing by the door to his study the mystery was solved. Through the closed door, she could hear the distinct sounds of someone typing. Sounds like the colonel was right after all. Jackson had clearly had his mind on work the whole time and had been in a hurry to get home to document his thoughts. Not wanting to disturb the doctor, she quickly went to her room and quietly closed the door behind her.
It was not work related thoughts that Jackson was busy documenting. It was personal. He had arrived home just minutes before Swenson, and had been in a hurry to get on the computer to write down his thoughts and feelings about what had transpired during the last couple of hours. He had always kept journals, but had recently started an online blog. He had never before shared his thoughts with others, so a blog was a new experience for him. It felt good to share, and who knows, maybe he could make some new friends out there in cyber world. Someone who didn't know him from the mountain or from his past. Someone who would like and accept him for who he is, and not for what they would like him to be. He just hoped none of his friends ever find and read the blog. Of course, he couldn't share everything about his life. His life was classified. Nevertheless, he could share some of the more personal thoughts, feelings, and hopes he has for the future. Moreover, most importantly he could share the feelings he has for Swenson. His disappointment in O'Neill. In addition, maybe some stranger would offer some sort of comfort or maybe even a solution. He didn't write much this time, just enough to get his feelings out and somewhat under control. While writing he had more or less decided not to go if Swenson decided she would be joining them. He just had to think of a valid excuse.
She was sitting in the middle of the floor amongst all her boxes and suitcases. She had taken a few items of clothing and hung them in the walk-in closet, and now she was just looking at the rest of her stuff. Still not having any furniture there was not much she could unpack. She opened up one of the boxes labeled 'Personal' in big letters. Her heart skipped a tiny beat when saw the item on the very top in the box. It was a large photo album, covered in beautiful maroon leather and gold lettering. It was her most treasured possession. It symbolized a life that once was, and a life that could have been. She slowly reached for it, and lifted it out of the box. She scooted to the wall and made herself comfortable before she opened up the album. The first page had a large picture of a couple on their wedding day. Swenson ran her fingers over the picture, and with tears starting to burn in her eyes she thought of how happy that day had been. So full of promises and love. It had been late spring, and the garden was full of the most beautiful flowers in all the colors of the rainbow. The bride had flowers in her hair, and the dress was most gorgeous. They both had bare feet and were curling their toes in the cool grass. He was handsome in his light tan colored shirt and pants. His hair was so black, his eyes so blue, blue like ice, and he had the most fantastic tan. Every time she looked at the picture, his smile nearly took her breath away. Such happiness.
On the next few pages there were more pictures of the couple. Pictures from the honeymoon, pictures from their new home, pictures of them with their family on various holidays. She turned the page again to see a picture of the most adorable baby boy. He looked just like his father. The same black hair, the same icy blue eyes, and even though he was only hours old his skin was a dark tan, almost like he had spent the entire summer in the sun. The following pages were filled with pictures of that baby as he grew bigger and bigger through spring, summer and autumn. The Christmas pictures showed a picture of a healthy baby boy, who by then was talking his first steps. She turned the page again, and now the tears were running freely down her cheeks. The page was empty. No more pictures. It had all ended so sudden. In a blink of an eye. Her husband and precious baby boy had gone to surprise her at her work, but only a few blocks away a semi truck had sideswiped them. Both had died instantly. Her life too had ended that horrible winter day. Had it not been for the support of her family and friends, she was sure that she couldn't have gone on without her best boys. She thought she would never love again, and she would certainly never have any more children. She would never be able to handle such a loss again. It has been almost nine years now, yet she felt in her heart, as it had been only yesterday that her heart had been ripped from her body. Sure, she had had the occasional boyfriend since then, but it had not been true love. She would never be able to love like that again. She was certain of that. She would not permit it. She was sobbing when she heard a light knock on her door. "Jessica, I ordered a pizza, do you want some?" she heard Jackson say from the hallway. Trying to get her emotions under control, she told him she would be right out. Getting up she put the album back in the box, and after closing the box, she went to the bathroom to splash some cool water in her face. Satisfied that she no longer looked like she had been crying she made her way to the living room.
After sitting in the study staring at nothing for a while, Jackson decided that he was hungry, but didn't feel like doing any cooking. He picked up the phone and ordered a pizza. Pizza was not his favorite but it would have to do. When he was done with his phone call, he made his way towards Swenson's room to ask her if she would join him for dinner. The closer he got to her door the more aware of the faint sobbing sounds he heard from within. "What is that? Is she crying?" he thought as he raised his hand to knock on her door. He stood there for a moment debating if he should knock or just walk away and leave her alone. He finally decided to knock, thinking that maybe she would welcome some company. "She probably misses her family and friends from back home. She is homesick and feels alone here. And I am not a very good friend right now. My behavior earlier, probably made her feel even more alone. I am such an ass," he thought as he waited for her reply. After she had agreed to join him for dinner, he made his way to the living room, to wait for the pizza delivery guy. He plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Maybe a funny movie would cheer her up and feel less alone. He flipped to the pay-per-view channels to see if he could find anything good. "Failure to Launch, wonder what that is all about," he thought, "romantic comedy, hmm, maybe she will like that." Just as he was done ordering the movie, the doorbell rang. As he got up to answer the door, he saw her come down the dimly lit hallway. She looked like an angel; with her long blonde hair hanging lose down over her shoulders. He nearly tripped over the coffee table. Catching himself, he quickly asked her to get some plates from the kitchen. He then went to the door to get the pizza. On his way back to the couch, he grabbed a bottle of red wine and two glasses, from their shelf near the door. They made it to the couch at the same time, and their shoulders touched as he walked around her to place the pizza, wine and glasses on the table. He felt almost like a shot of electricity went through him, and immediately felt his face flush. He looked up into her eyes as he sat down on the couch. He could clearly see that she had been crying. Silently he swore to himself that he would try his best to make sure that her time in the Springs would not be spent crying or feeling alone. He smiled at her and told her about the movie he had ordered. She had never seen the movie before either, and they both got comfortable next to each other on the couch.
The evening went by fast, and they had both enjoyed each other's company. The movie wasn't too bad. The typical romantic comedy; boy meets girl, boy loses girl, and boy gets girl back. It did have some funny moments and Jackson had enjoyed hearing Swenson laugh. They had both laughed, and before they knew it, the evening had ended and they said goodnight and went to their respective rooms. Now in bed, Jackson couldn't stop thinking about the woman now sleeping in the room just across the hall. Even though she had been laughing and seemed to have been enjoying the movie and his company, she still had looked so sad. He was starting to think that it couldn't just be that she was homesick. Something else was going on, and he was determined to find out. It made him sad to see her like that. It did not take him long to slip into a restless sleep as his mind kept thinking about her across the hallway alone in her room.
On the uncomfortable air mattress in her new room was Swenson was again fighting to keep the tears at bay. She usually didn't cry like this, but the last couple of weeks since she had moved to the Springs, she had felt like her loss was all consuming. Sure, the fact that she had moved away from her family and friends didn't help much. They had been her comfort, her pillars of strength, her heart and home. Now she was all alone, and she felt the loss all over again, no one to talk to or to comfort her. She silently cried herself to sleep.