I love it when I can quickly update. :D

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I didn't go to school that day. A few minutes after Stan left the bus stop, so did I, but to my own house. I took Stan's backpack and through it into his snowy lawn. All of his books would probably be ruined. I told my mom I came back because I felt dizzy and couldn't stand right. The stupid bitch fell for it. Stan probably didn't go either. Almost all day, I stared out my bedroom window, across the street and into Stan's room. He was there, but never noticed me, luckily.

"Kyle," my mom began as she walked into my room, "Is there something bothering you? I have the feeling that it's something more than just than just feeling sick," she stated slowly. Score one for mom.

"Why do you care all of the sudden?" I asked firmly. I think the only reason she was really being nice, was because she had never really seen me so upset. I was depressed to the point that I wouldn't even make eye contact and kept all my questions and answers to a minimum.

"Because Kyle, I'm your mother. I only want what's best for you," she walked over to me and placed a caring hand on my back.

"Well congratulations, you got your wish, I'm never going near Stan again," I responded.

"Why is that? You didn't listen to me the last time I told you not to."

"Stan doesn't love me, mom."

"He said that?"

"He implied it," I say.

"Maybe you took it the wrong way. What happened?" She kneeled down slowly next to my chair. I still didn't look at her.

"When I got to the bus stop, Wendy and I started fighting about who Stan loved. When I asked Stan if he loved her, he just ran off." I sighed and let my head press forward against the window pane.

"Oh bubbie, I'll give you some time to think on your own." With that, she got up from her spot on the floor and left the room, shutting the door behind her. School was almost over and Kenny would probably be coming to see what was going on with the two of us soon. 30 minutes later, there was a knock on my front door. I didn't react to it, but my mom then let someone in, who then came charging up the stairs. After that, there was more knocking, but on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I muttered under my breath. My door opened and revealed a tall blonde boy in an orange coat. He came in and made himself comfortable on my bed.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kenny asked me.

"Do I look okay?" I answered.

"What does it matter is Stan doesn't love you?" He questioned. He must have not known how much I loved Stan myself. It was a big deal.

"It matters a lot! I was in love with Stan, and he loves Wendy! Do you know, how that feels? It hurts, it really hurts! I feel so fucking used!" I slammed my fists down on the sides of my chair that I didn't cover, and continued to stare out the window. "I hate him. I really do," I finished.

"You don't hate him, you'll get over it."

"No I won't. Stan is the only person I ever loved in my entire lifetime. I've never felt this was about anyone before. I don't know what to do anymore!" I shouted. All I said was true. I was completely heartbroken. It was the worse feeling I'd ever experienced.

Kenny came and pulled up another chair from my desk. He sat right next to me. We stayed there for a few moments of silence. Kenny put his arm around me and leaned on my shoulder while we both stared out the window.

"Cartman tried to come, but he would have just messed things up," he stated simply. I didn't really want to go on with that conversation.

"Good thing he didn't," I answer. Why Kenny had his arm around me, I didn't know. It was very comforting to say the least, and reminded me of Stan in a way. I let my head fall on top of his. "Kenny, what are we doing?"

"Sitting."

"Too close."

"I like it though."

"You remind me of Stan," I told him.

"Is that a good thing?" He quirked an eyebrow, "Do you like it?"

"Strangely enough."

"What else did Stan do that you liked?"

"I liked anything Stan did to me." I didn't know if this was right, being here with Kenny right now. I felt so strangely about him, but in a good way. I enjoyed sitting with him, our body heat keeping each other warm. It felt so… wrong, but I liked it. I don't know how I could be thinking all of this when Stan was the one I loved, not Kenny. For some reason, I just wanted to stare deeply into Kenny's eyes and hope that everything would be okay. He gave me comfort, more so than Stan in a way. I needed to snap out of these thoughts. I couldn't be falling for Kenny.

Right?

"What about this?" Kenny leaned over and gently kissed my cheek, letting his lips open slightly against the side of my face, leaving the smallest damp spot. I ran my finger over it gently and turned to him, having our eyes meet. They were a light blue, so beautiful, they made me want to just grab him and kiss him. That's what I did next. During the process, I knew it was a bad idea. Kenny was only going to leave after this. It was just going to make me even more upset than I am.

I knew what Kenny was pushing to do currently. We were both lowered to the floor. His boner pressed against my leg, and I felt bad for giving him these sorts of feelings. It wasn't what I wanted, so I didn't let him go on. I just couldn't do this.

"Ken don't," I broke the kiss. He immediately put on a guilty face.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Ky," he apologized.

I shake my head, "It's okay, I sorta liked it," I admit, "I just don't wanna go any farther than that."

"Yeah I'm sorry dude, I understand. I shouldn't have even done that." Him apologizing made me feel bad, because it wasn't even his fault, really. If I hadn't kissed him back, we wouldn't have even gotten to the point where we were on the floor like that.

"Dude, don't apologize, I really don't care," I say, trying to give him a sense of comfort so to speak.

"No, I have too. I was about to fuck you on your bedroom floor. I'm such a goddamn whore." I pout and stare at him. I didn't want him to be saying those things about himself.

"No you're not. You just," I thought of the right words to say without offending him in any way, although he doesn't get easily angry at someone, "You just like sex," I finish, feeling stupid for my choice of words.

"A lot," I can't help myself from smiling.

"Yeah, enough to have sex with one of your best friends," I say, causing his grin spread across his face.

"Just enough," I shake my head and laugh. "You're one to talk." He laughs along with me. He was right. Stan and I had been best friends and we had sex, but I don't think that really qualifies us as whores. It was just once...

"Right?" We both continue to stare out the window, sitting in silence for a bit longer before I break the quietness around us.

"I wish I was more like you sometimes," I say.

He gives me a sort of confused face before replying, "Oh, why's that?"

"Because then I could easily have sex with someone, without as much as a worry. I don't know why but I've always been scared of stuff like that, especially after experiencing with Stan and having my mom find out the next morning," I said, taking a long exaggerated sigh at the end.

"I would shake it off, because all I know is that I'm still the same person, and I don't give two shits about the other people's negative opinions from around me," Wow, I never knew how deep Kenny could be.

"That's all?"

"That's all. It's as simple as that."

"Well that's some good advice to know and remember."

"It is, isn't it?"

Quiet came back to us. It was nice though, the silence filled throughout the entire house, and time seemed as if it was frozen, as I sat here, enjoying the moment and the peace of my own surroundings.

Before I knew it, Kenny had his arm outstretched around me again, turning my head towards his face, where we shared one last kiss. And right out of the corner of my eye, I could see one thing, that I wished wasn't there, staring out from his window was the unmistakable,

Stan Marsh.