{Notes} Thanks to those of you who reviewed last chapter.
Chapter Two
"He seems to hate me," Anakin broke the silence.
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows at his old Padawan before turning to look through the one-way observation window at the young Jedi. They were stuck in a phase between younglings and Padawans, known as the early apprentice stage, or Jedi Hopeful. It was an awkward phase, especially for the older children. The thirteen and fourteen-year-olds believed they were ready for greater action, for real lightsabers and a Master to teach them.
And most of them were. Obi-Wan remembered his own days in the awkward stages of adolescence. He had waited patiently for fifteen years, only to find out he was destined for the Jedi Service Corps. If it hadn't been for Qui-Gon Jinn taking him in as a Padawan, Obi-Wan may have been working for the Agricultural Corps.
"Luke is just impatient right now, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied as he watched Luke lazily bat away a stinging blast from the remote. He had to smile at Luke's long expression. The boy looked utterly bored and unhappy with his current predicament. "He's one of the fastest learners, especially when it comes to combat. He's like you in many ways. He's ready to become a Padawan. It's likely he takes out his frustration on you, seeing you as his safest route to express these feelings."
Luke and a handful of other Jedi his age were standing in a circle, reflecting the blasts coming from the advanced remote. Behind them, further in the expansive room, the younglings were doing something similar, only with a powered-down remote.
"It's more than that," Anakin argued, his eyes only for his son. "Our mind link used to be exceedingly strong. Through the course of the past few years, he's been blocking me out."
Obi-Wan sent him a dry smile. "Seems remarkably familiar, Anakin."
Anakin turned away from the young Jedi and offered Obi-Wan a withering stare. "He's my son, Master Kenobi. It is unacceptable for him to close himself off from me."
The look in Anakin's eye reminded Obi-Wan of the days when Palpatine had been baiting Anakin with the dark side. Shadows of the dark never seemed to have left Anakin, but then again, once a Jedi accepted the dark side, it was with them forever. And while Anakin had been strong enough to shake off its seductive hold, he still carried the scars. Obi-Wan heard from previous darksiders that the dark would always be there, whispering temptations and promises to those who had succumbed to it before.
Obi-Wan turned away from Anakin, feeling a deep regret as he remembered the past.
"You've been absent from his life—"
Anakin turned on him again, his face contorting dangerously. "And whose fault is that, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan met his old Padawan's stare calmly. "Not mine, Anakin," he replied calmly, yet sharply.
Anakin's features eased and he gave a sharp nod. "I know that, Master. I apologize."
The younger Jedi then turned back around toward the training room, his features schooled. Obi-Wan withheld a sigh as he, himself, turned back to the younglings. "The High Council isn't happy with your involvement with Padmé and the children, Anakin. Not only do they believe it's bad for you, but they believe your children are being affected just as well. If either you or Padmé were to be killed, Luke or Leia…"
Anakin stiffened, his eyes becoming hooded as he watched his son. "Luke and Leia would never submit to the dark."
"You don't know that, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied gently. "That is why the High Council believes separating you from Luke and Leia through missions is a good solution."
The sound of leather creaking ensnared Obi-Wan's attention. He glanced down to watch as Anakin's right hand curled into a tight fist. His features were cold as he stared ahead of him. "The issue with Palpatine was over fifteen years ago, Master Kenobi. You'd think they would trust me by now and not take it out on my family."
Kenobi issued a sigh. It would seem as if they were having this discussion once again. "They are doing it for your family, Anakin, not to punish you. Palpatine preyed off your attachment with Padmé and used it against you. What's saying a Sith won't use your children's attachments against them?"
The Council was already risking far too much by allowing the Skywalker twins to go home to Padmé every weekend. While Obi-Wan looked highly upon Anakin like his own brother, he agreed with the Council on their skepticism of the Skywalker family attachments. If the dark got to Anakin as easily as it did, it would be just as easy, if not more, to lure the children. Not only did the twins have a mother, but they had a father and themselves. Grand Master Yoda had already split the twins up in different clans since they were mere children.
It was a mess. The best thing to happen was to give Luke to a Master outside Coruscant. He would make a prize Padawan, any Master or Knight would be pleased to have him.
Obi-Wan just couldn't handle another Skywalker turning dark, no matter how brief it was. He was fond of the family.
"I don't even know him," Anakin ventured after a moment of tense silence. It appeared as if he had given up the age-old argument of the twin's attachment. "I don't know my own son. You probably know him better than I do, Master Kenobi."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth, ready to reassure Anakin, before his old Padawan's words registered. Frowning, he turned to study the side-profile of Anakin. The man was standing proudly with his hands clasped behind his back. His expression showed no sign of catching his slip.
"And Leia?" Obi-Wan ventured slowly. Anakin hitched his eyebrows high in bemusement. "You seem very consistent on Luke, Anakin. What of Leia? You have another child you know next to nothing about. You don't seem concerned about her perception of you."
Anakin remained stiff and silent, as if he just realized his mistake.
Obi-Wan considered this. Was there a deeper bond between Luke and Anakin? Did a father and son truly have more of bond than a father and daughter? The thought seemed unlikely to Obi-Wan, but he didn't have children.
"Leia…" Anakin began hesitantly, searching for words. "Would be considered a model Jedi. She doesn't block me out of her mind and she doesn't form close attachments. She is very similar to her mother. Padmé takes her duty quite seriously and believes that everyone who has a duty to uphold should make it their first priority. Leia understands my absences and believes family should come second to duty. It is a very essential trait to possess, especially for a Jedi. But Luke is…"
"Luke is remarkably like you," Obi-Wan finished, watching as Luke seemed to retreat in his mind and look out the window, watching the speeders fly in the skies of Coruscant. His saber was raised lazily, but his eyes clearly told the observer that he wasn't present. Obi-Wan chuckled. "Just like you, he takes his loyalty to his family as his first priority. Isn't that right?"
Anakin's lips thinned in answer. A positive answer.
"Both of you are very loyal and emotional men, Anakin. Most importantly, you both are stubborn. You have your own outlook on how Jedi should be and nothing will sway you otherwise."
He understood, now, why Anakin seemed to hone directly on Luke. Both father and son took family seriously. Both of them had attachments that they depended on and loved uncontrollably. It was almost if Anakin and Luke needed someone to place their devotion and love on. And it would appear as if they looked to each other to satisfy that craving. Shmi Skywalker was once Anakin's means of satisfying that need, and then it was Padmé, but Obi-Wan wondered if that were still the case. Or did Luke now hold that position, only because Anakin saw his own need mirrored in Luke?
He knew Anakin held high regard to each member of his family; he most likely loved them all equally. But there was a stronger attachment with Luke than the others, despite the long absences since birth.
Obi-Wan resisted a weary sigh. Again, he believed it was best for Luke to leave Coruscant with another Master for training. Anakin would likely be against the idea, but it would be in their best interest. What if Palpatine, wherever the Sith was hiding, got his hands on Luke? It would be a repeat of fifteen years prior.
"In some ways, it's frightening how much you two are alike," Obi-Wan tried to redirect his musings to a safer route. He smiled fondly at Luke. "He's progressing very nicely. The force is very strong with him. As are his emotions."
Anakin smiled briefly at this before frowning. "Sometimes I compare Luke to Padmé for my own well being. The thought of him mirroring me in personality gives me a headache at times."
"Now you understand what I went through all those years," Obi-Wan chuckled at the irony. "Despite all this, Master Yoda seems to take a liking to Luke."
Anakin's face darkened at the mention of the Grand Master. "Take a liking, Master, or is he merely suspicious of my son and wants to keep a close eye on him?"
Obi-Wan chose not to answer. No matter what his response would be, Anakin would find something wrong with it. Both his possessiveness and protectiveness of Luke would hinder the prospect that Yoda truly found Luke likeable.
Obi-Wan found himself smiling as the remote shot out a bolt and hit a daydreaming Luke in the neck. Snapping out of his musings, Luke gave a cry of protest and rubbed his tender skin. Around him, the others in his clan began to laugh. The boy offered a glare, surprising Obi-Wan with his resemblance to Anakin. He also noticed the uneven haircut. Pondering on this just briefly, Obi-Wan risked a glance at Anakin.
The man had a small, bitter smile on his face.
"He should have been taken as a Padawan three years ago, Master."
The blue-gray eyes of Obi-Wan studied Luke as the boy hunched his shoulders and flashed an innocent smile toward an unhappy Yoda. "Yes, he should have. He exceeds most Padawans in their late years," he agreed firmly.
Anakin turned to study Obi-Wan. "Then why haven't any of the Masters or Knights taken Luke as their Padawan?"
At least Anakin wasn't making a foolish assumption of taking Luke as his own apprentice. His old Padawan had already tried countless of times of going before the Council and asking to train one of his children. Each time, he was strongly reprimanded. Apparently Anakin finally understood that the answer would always be 'no'. He just wondered how long Anakin would remain a passive Jedi for the High Council.
Since the incident fifteen years ago, Anakin had remained unreceptive. He was no longer on the Council, and instead, chose to accept the missions he was given without so much as a rebuttal. It was likely that Anakin felt remorse for sinking so low in the dark, and in turn, he was willing to give himself up in order to keep his family together and with the Jedi Order.
But just how much could Anakin take? Would his old Padawan's compliant behavior snap when he found out that the Jedi High Council planned on shipping Luke off Coruscant?
"He doesn't understand," Anakin began again after the silence stretched. "He won't understand why the others are hesitant to take him on as a Padawan just because what happened to me. He cannot be judged over my past mistakes. He is not me," Anakin spoke harshly. "He already doesn't understand why I'm absent for so long. He believes I have a choice of going to these peace missions."
Obi-Wan turned suddenly, mindful to lower his voice. "You mean to tell me you haven't told him?" He would have thought Anakin would take great joy in telling Luke how wrong the Council was for separating the family. It would seem as if that wasn't the case at all.
"You haven't told him what happened fifteen years ago? The consequences? This is serious, Anakin. It's one thing for Luke to blame the High Council for your absences. If he believes you're the one at fault, if he believes you are willingly separating yourself from him, his anger suddenly seems just and it will only grow until you tell him the truth."
Anakin's expression was darkly veiled. "I told him the basics."
The basics. To Anakin, the basics were just a passing thought, a mere mention of something of importance. "You are making a mistake, Anakin. Luke is old enough to hear what transpired fifteen years ago. In fact, hearing your story might ease his anger and make him understand the dangers of the dark side."
A muscle clenched in Anakin's jaw. "It is my story to tell, Obi-Wan. And he is my son."
It clearly meant the end of the conversation.
He shook his head, saddened by Anakin's refusal to tell his children about what happened fifteen years ago. He knew Anakin was only afraid of what his story would do to his children in regards to how they looked at him.
It was a dangerous move for Anakin to withhold the information, especially from Luke.
"Why don't you take Luke as your apprentice?" Anakin was the one to turn the subject around this time.
Obi-Wan remained facing the window, studying Luke's irritated expression. The boy was going through a difficult time. "Because I've already cleared it with the Council— Leia will be my next Padawan." He side-stepped the question.
With one last long stare at Luke, Obi-Wan turned his heel and quietly walked from a troubled Anakin.
{Hear Me}
It wasn't fair.
Luke tightened his hold on his training lightsaber and frowned at the remote. They were doing light exercises this morning and it was wearing thin on Luke's patience. He wondered if Yoda assigned this especially for him— just to test his patience.
And according to Yoda's current expression, Luke hadn't passed his test.
Glancing at the green troll from the corner of his eye, he observed Yoda's lowered ears and heavy frown. The Grand Master tapped his walking stick on the ground disapprovingly, watching Luke closely.
The scrutiny made him on edge, just as much as his father's presence. Luke could feel his father in the Temple, but he couldn't discern as to where Anakin was. Briefly, he played with the idea of touching their buried mind link but decided against it quickly. He wouldn't open his mind up to his father unless it was an emergency. He didn't want to give Anakin an excuse to shift through his thoughts and feelings.
As the bell intoned the end of the lesson, Luke extinguished his lightsaber and reluctantly joined the other Jedi for lunch.
"Stay behind, you will, Skywalker."
Earning a few amused glances from his fellow clan members, Luke stopped in his tracks, keeping his back to the Grand Master. He watched the younglings and the Jedi Hopeful as they filed out of the training room, closing the door on Yoda and him.
Slowly, Luke turned, catching his reflection in the large mirror-like window. He knew the other side of the window would allow a viewer to observe the inside of the training room. He hoped none of his clan members were sticking around to watch his humiliation with Master Yoda.
"Much anger in you, I sense," Yoda continued. His green fingers were crossed calmly over the top of his walking stick as he observed Luke. His lips were once again pursed into a frown. "Impatient you are. Daydreaming you are."
Yoda tapped his walking stick once again as he took a step closer to Luke.
The young Skywalker bowed his head, feeling a bit guilty. "I'm sorry, Master Yoda. I will try—," he paused, flashing a dry look at Yoda. "I will do better. I haven't been mediating as regularly as I should."
"Hmm," Yoda shook his head. "Crave adventure, you do."
Luke's eyes widened and he looked up in frustration. "Of course I crave adventure, Master Yoda. I'm nearly fifteen and I have yet to hold and construct my own lightsaber despite the fact I'm ready. I still don't have a Master and I've never dueled a real opponent besides the Jedi. And yet, I'm stuck here, doing exercises that younglings find easy."
Yoda watched him, unimpressed.
Luke sighed, his shoulders slumping briefly before he straightened into a bored and impassive pose. "I know Jedi aren't supposed to crave adventure. We are peace keepers of the galaxy, of the Republic. Combat is our last means of defense and will only be used as a sense of duty, not out of our own means of entertainment and revenge." It was practiced and the words seemed to be ingrained on his mind.
Yoda looked down, his head bowed. Luke could have sworn he saw a smile curl the troll's lips. When Yoda looked up again, there was no sign of amusement.
Suddenly, the Grand Master threw his walking stick aside and called one of the training lightsabers to him with the Force. Luke took a step back, surprise washing his features as Yoda ignited the green lightsaber.
"Ready you claim to be." The green Jedi gripped his lightsaber with a two hand grip, clearly the opening stance to the Ataru form.
Luke swallowed, fear being quickly replaced by adrenaline and a sense of serenity. He had seen demonstrations of the Ataru form before, all done by Master Yoda. Luke was always amazed at the scene and could only stare in reverence. All the older younglings were taught the different forms and maneuvers of lightsaber dueling throughout the years. Sometimes they spent a good year on one form.
Luke had yet to identify his signature form. Obi-Wan claimed Luke would be a small opponent, having inherited his height and build from his mother. Because of this, Master Kenobi suggested Luke use the Soresu form. It was a defensive form and one that required patience. Ideally, when using the Soresu form, the user would tire out their opponent before striking back.
But Luke liked the acrobatics and the amount of Force used in the Ataru form. And he enjoyed the complete dominance in Shien and Djem So. The only reason why Luke didn't use the Shien and Djem So very often was because it was his father's form.
Igniting his own lightsaber, Luke raised it behind his right shoulder and placed his left hand out toward Yoda in his opening stance. He adjusted his lower body to the correct position, relying on his knowledge in the Soresu form to guide him. Because Master Kenobi was the master of this form, he had taken special interest in showing Luke the close fundamentals.
Yoda didn't make a habit of dueling the younglings, or anyone for that matter. This had to be a test of some sort that would either confirm or change Yoda's perspective of him.
Yoda's lips creased upwards when he noted Luke's choice in fighting form.
"Patience for the Soresu form, you have not," Yoda declared boldly. "Like your father."
Something cracked in Luke's jaw as he grinded his teeth together. Yoda's ears perked up at his reaction, but Luke remained silent, deepening his Soresu stance. Now he was more determined than ever to use Obi-Wan's teachings and not rely on the form his father favored.
And then, without so much as a warning, Yoda attacked. He was nothing but a green blur and the lightsaber came at Luke almost too quick for his Force reflexes to see.
Almost clumsily, he brought up his lightsaber and blocked Yoda's attack. The green troll gave Luke no time to recover as he struck again in an overhead flip. Luke's lips pursed in determination as he gathered the Force, allowing it to guide him through the motions.
He had never dueled like this before. Master Kenobi may praise him on his combat skills, but Luke only dueled against the Jedi his own age. Dueling against Yoda here— now— made Luke realize that his arrogance in his dueling skills was… unwarranted. He had no right to feel arrogant over skills he didn't even possess.
Luke breathed heavily as he blocked the onslaught of offensive moves from Yoda's flying figure. Was this why Yoda wanted to engage Luke in a duel? To knock Luke off his pedestal and make him realize that he was out of line for wanting something more than youngling lessons?
Why was he always looked at with disregard? With suspicion?
He stumbled backward as he both deflected Yoda's attack and moved out of the way for the double offense. The way Yoda was flipping around him made it seem as if he were toying with Luke. If anyone was watching from the observation windows, which Luke was sure a few clan members stayed behind to spy, he would be humiliated.
The burning emotion of anger slowly started to darken his serenity as he blocked Yoda's side strike.
Suddenly, Yoda thrust out a hand and used the Force to knock Luke off his feet. The blonde-haired Skywalker flew through the air and landed heavily on his back. Heat seared his cheeks as the familiar sensation of anger clouded his mind, whispering seductive promises of unbridled power. It never occurred to him that Yoda was testing his anger and not trying to put him off his pedestal. Luke's pride was bruised—crushed, and gaining the upper hand was all that he cared about.
Harnessing the anger, Luke suddenly felt power sing through his veins as he jumped to his feet and faced Yoda. He lunged, dropping in a low summersault. As soon as his right foot planted on the ground, he jumped, using the Force to gain height. He raised his saber above his head and came down on the Grand Master. Yoda's ears perked up in surprise and he pushed Luke with the Force, hoping to throw him off his path.
Luke met the Force push with his own and continued to descend downward. Just as his lightsaber reached Yoda, the green Jedi rolled away. Luke sucked in a breath as he landed in a crouch, the same area Yoda once stood. He turned; ready to pursue the Grand Master until he caught sight of the troll.
The Jedi stood a few feet away, his lightsaber extinguished. He calmly picked up his walking stick and turned to face Luke.
Suddenly, the adrenaline and anger seemed to drain from Luke as he realized what had happened. The heat flushing through his body abruptly turned cold as he stared back at Yoda.
"Master Yoda—" he began, only to lose the words as the Grand Master slowly shook his head.
Feeling disgusted with himself, Luke watched numbly as Yoda sadly walked past him. This duel was a test of his patience, of his readiness to become something more. And he had failed the most basic lesson every youngling was taught.
He had harnessed and used his anger. It frightened Luke how easily it was, how, even now, he thought of the seductive power of the dark. He knew it was the path to the dark side, yet he used it anyway. He had a duty to uphold as a strong and proud Jedi, not as a user of the dark. When he dueled before with his clan members he had never felt anger so strongly before.
He was confused, he felt almost lost.
And utterly alone.
He kept facing forward even as Yoda escaped from the training room, leaving Luke by himself.
The lightsaber in his hand suddenly felt too heavy to hold.