First comment; I would say anybody could come play in my perfect world (That includes you Evil Kitty) as long as you bring your own sex slaves, I'm not one for sharing my toys, lol. Although in a perfect world, they'd probably be cloned at least a dozen times, so....

To mafia princess, I'm not leaving the smut at the bedroom door, fear not. It may take a while to actually reach the smut, but there will be smut, and pretty graphic smut too. Fear not. However, this is also a case fic, so a lot's going down. Hopefully I can make it work.

And I recently had an epiphany that I am a coward who would rather write stories for free for this website than try and get my novel published. I don't know why I decided to share that, but I had to get it off my chest. I'll shut up now.

Chapter One

Tim stared at Tony's desk. It was still empty. Both his and Gibbs'. It wasn't right. He and Ziva were there, but the other two were nowhere to be found. It was too reminiscent of when Tony was an Agent Afloat. Before that happened, Tim would have liked nothing more than to get rid of the Senior Field Agent, but when he was actually gone, it was like a whole in his chest that no one could fill.

Kate described Tony perfectly when he was out on sick leave after the plague. He was like an X-rated Peter Pan. And he really was. He was obnoxious, made crude jokes, and told just about the entire female NCIS population that Tim was gay. By all accounts, Tim should have hated him, should have jumped for joy when he was back in the bullpen and Tony was still on the Seahawk. But he didn't. Instead, he found himself, just staring at his desk hoping that he would hear that annoying chuckle or gargle sound he made.

He was getting ahead of himself. Tony was late a good portion of the time. It wasn't that big of a deal. It wasn't like he was—Tim checked his watch—more than four hours late. He could have just been sick, and he was worrying over nothing.

Of course, the last time Tony was sick, he had the Pneumonic Plague and almost died.

He couldn't take it anymore. "Ziva!" He called across the room.

"McGee!" Ziva yelled at the exact same time.

They turned to each other, a little sheepish. He should have known Ziva was worried about Tony. Tim knew she had a bit of a crush on him. It was obvious just about every time she looked at him, smiled at him. Her threats never held the same level of sincerity when made towards DiNozzo. If anything, it was just Ziva's way of flirting.

"He could just be sick." Ziva said, reading his mind with her scary Mossad Ninja skills.

"He could be dating a doctor again."

Ziva chuckled. "He could be on another long term undercover assignment that could possibly get him blown up." The more she spoke, the more her smile fell.

Tim scrunched his forehead in worry. "Tony has some bad luck, huh?"

Ziva shrugged. "I've seen worse."

"Name one person."

She was silent for a second. Tim almost took that as victory before she finally spoke. "Chip Sterling, Abby's old lab assistant who framed Tony for murder."

That confused Tim again. "Wasn't he killed in prison a few years ago?

Ziva got that arrogant look on her face. "Exactly."

Tim shook his head. "Tony's been framed for murder three times, he's almost been blown up twice. He got the Pneumonic Plague. Beaten by an assassin."

"Thrown off the side of a parking ramp."

"Kidnapped by a psychotic Marine killer."

"And interrogated by my father."

The two of them stopped. During their list, their eyes drifted away from each other. But after Ziva's last remark, they met again. They nodded in unison. "He has the worst luck." Tim said.

"Nope," The two of them nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of Gibbs' voice. "Got a dead Marine Officer and Navy Judge shot out in West Virginia on Co Route Rd. Gear up!" He stepped up to his desk with his usual grace and started collecting his belongings. It was no surprise to either Junior Agent. But what was a surprise was when Tony DiNozzo suddenly appeared at his desk and grabbed his bag.

"When did you get here?" Tim asked. He always got here before Tony, he was sure he would have seen him come in.

"None of your concern, McGoo."

"He never left last night." Gibbs circled around his desk and tossed the keys to the NCIS issue crime scene van at McGee. "Gas the truck."

Tony scowled at his boss, which just brought a smirk to Tim's face. He always loved watching Gibbs shoot Tony down for whatever reason. It brought him a strange comfort.

"Today McGee!" That got Tim moving again. He grabbed his gun and badge and slung his backpack over his shoulder before he ran to catch up to his coworkers.

Ziva stood next to him, staring intently at the doors as they closed. "You really never left last night?"

Tim could hear Tony's heavy sigh. "Had some things that I had to take care of."

Ziva chuckled. "Couldn't find a date, huh Tony?"

"Ziva," Gibbs groaned. That shut the woman up. Although Tim could still see she was smirking.

Tim had to wonder though, if Tony never left, why did it take him four hours to show up in the bullpen? He couldn't have been with Gibbs that entire time.

The elevator opened on the main floor, effectively silencing Tim's thoughts. The team scurried out and headed out towards the truck. "DiNozzo! With me." The three of them stopped at Gibbs' words. Typically they always drove together. And Gibbs never rode alone with Tony unless he had to. He wasn't insane. Driving out to West Virginia was a long trip, why would Gibbs sit in a car that long with Tony? "Today, DiNozzo."

"On your six, boss!" He strode over to the boss as he headed for the sedan.

Tim and Ziva stood, completely speechless, watching the two men walk away. "What just happened?" Tim asked.

Ziva shook her head. "I have no idea."

*~*

The ride was relatively quiet, surprisingly. Jethro couldn't deny it, he was stunned. Normally, Tony wouldn't stop yapping to save his life. That wasn't an exaggeration either, sometimes Tony would talk till crazy people with dangerous weapons wanted to kill him. Hell, Jethro had wanted to kill him a few times.

But this time he was completely silent. He just stared out the window at the passing scenery. Jethro knew he was upset. He caught a few of the details when he came in this morning to find Tony passed out under his desk. It wasn't a totally uncommon occurrence, but they hadn't had a case that day, so there was logical no reason for him to stay.

"How ya holding up?" He finally asked.

Tony chuckled bitterly. "My apartment blew up, boss. How should I be holding up?" When Tony turned to look at him, Jethro met his gaze with a glare. The younger man sighed heavily. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"Gas leak." He laughed again, only this time it was more hysterical. "Gas leak! My entire freakin' apartment is gone because of a stupid gas leak!"

Jethro shrugged. "Could've been worse."

"I lost everything I own, my clothes, my TV, my DVDs! What could possibly be worse?"

He tried to stop the smile from spreading across his face, but he only half succeeded. "You coulda been in there." That silenced the young man again.

Jethro watched him out of the corner of his eye. He still looked moody, but he couldn't really blame him. Tony's neighbor had forgotten to shut off their stove that afternoon, and by the time Tony finally trudged his way back home, firefighters and ambulances swarmed the building. Everything Tony owned in the world was gone. He was officially homeless.

Jethro sighed. "My door's open."

That earned him a slight grin. "I know."

Try as he might, Jethro never could say no to Tony. At least for long stretches of time. And after hearing about what happened to his home, it just made it all harder. Tony could have been in there. He could have been blown up with everything else he had. That thought really didn't sit very well with Jethro.

The trip was long, several hours at least, but Jethro didn't really keep track. By the time he finally pulled the car over by the crime scene, his ass was sore, his back was cramped, and he ran out of coffee, so he was pretty damn cranky. But what made it worse was that Tony barely said a word the entire trip. It wasn't like him. Jethro wanted him to say something, anything. Let the older man know that he was still Tony.

They climbed out of the sedan and surveyed the scene. It wasn't the most gory crime scene they ever saw. The victim's car sat in the middle of the road at a bit of a slant, indicating that the driver stopped suddenly. As Jethro stepped closer he saw the blood sprayed across the windows. The back passenger windows, specifically. The rearview was gone, only a few shards of glass still clung to the rim. The windshield was dry. It did, however, have two huge bullet holes going straight through and the glass around those holes had cracked like a spider web. Still, he'd seen worse.

Ziva and McGee were already on the scene. McGee was dumb and let Ziva drive again. His junior agent was fidgety and jumpy as he collected everything he needed. Jethro shook his head pitifully. That boy really needed to grow a backbone.

Ziva was busy taking pictures, while it seemed that McGee was bagging and tagging. Tony immediately jumped into the fray, slinging his backpack further up his shoulder.

Jethro was glad that he no longer had to give out assignments. They automatically knew what to do and where to go. They made him proud.

His eyes swiveled around the crash till they fell on his target. The local LEO who called NCIS. He was a middle aged fellow with a thick brown mustache and beard ensemble and a wide brimmed hat. Half of his face was covered with dark sunglasses. Jethro's first thought was of Chuck Norris.

He held up his badge for the LEO to read. "Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS." He flipped his leather carrier over to reveal his I.D.

Chuck Norris held out his hand. He didn't bother showing his badge, it was planted firmly on his chest. He spoke with a rough and gravelly voice that held a twang of an accent. "Sherriff Walker."

Jethro had to stop at that. "You're kidding."

"Something funny about my name?"

Jethro shook his head. "No. What've we got?" He turned to look more fully at the scene.

Walker followed suit. "Marine Lieutenant Colonel Nicholas Keller, and Navy Judge Anthony Spano. Single gunshot wound to the head."

Jethro waited for a few seconds before he quirked his eyebrow at Walker. "That it?"

The Chuck Norris wannabe shrugged his shoulders. "Soon as I saw it was one of yours, I backed off. Whatever this is, it be above my paygrade. Look I stuck around long enough to hand this over to you, you want it or not?"

Jethro glared at him. It was his way of saying, 'I want it' without actually saying the words. But when Walker still didn't move, Jethro groaned and said "I'll take it." That finally forced the LEO to leave. Jethro went and joined his team by the car, hopefully they could tell him something useful.

When he joined them, he noticed Tony staring intently at the Sherriff's retreating back. Jethro stood so he was mere inches away from the younger man. "Something on your mind, DiNozzo?"

The younger man didn't so much as flinch. "Is it just me, or does he kinda remind you of Chuck Norris?"

Jethro felt the tug at his lips before he started walking away. "His name's Sherriff Walker."

"You're kidding!"

He didn't say anything else as he saddled up next to McGee. The young man was picking up pieces of bloodied glass off the pavement. "Theories on the case, McGee?"

The junior agent took a deep breath before he started talking. "Well, the car came to a complete stop in the middle of the road. It didn't run into a tree or a ditch."

Jethro nodded. "And what does that tell you?"

"That the passenger was shot first. Lieutenant Colonel Keller must have stopped the car when Judge Spano was shot."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jethro saw Ducky's Medical Examiner truck pull up. "And what else?"

McGee fumbled over his words for a second. "Um, the bullets came through the windshield, and exited through the rear window, so it was probably a sniper. And the bullets were most likely full metal jackets."

Jethro nodded. "And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Keller's and Judge Spano's heads were still intact. Only a small hole in the center of Spano's forehead, and one in Keller's temple from where they were shot." He stopped and swallowed a lump in his throat. "There is, however, a, uh, a large hole in the head where the bullet exited."

Jethro noted the slight gleam in McGee's eyes. Something he fully understood. Kate was killed with a full metal jacket. Jethro could still recall the conversation between McGee and Tony back at the office that night.

Tony barely held it together as he told the young man how Kate was having a bad hair day. He smacked McGee in the back of the head, telling him how a full metal jacket would put a hole the size of a grapefruit back there. McGee practically begged Tony to stop.

"Good job, McGee." He stood up and headed over to Ziva, who was currently taking pictures of the victims. She stopped when she saw him coming, her face had a hint of speculation on it.

"Do you notice something, Gibbs?"

He took a look at the actual scene in front of him. Two men, bleeding from the head. The passenger was younger, with light brown hair and expensive taste in clothing. He was slumped like he was pressed against the passenger door before it was open. The driver looked completely different. He was older, his hair had gone gray. His clothing choices were a little more conservative. Jethro assumed that the driver was Keller. A military man through and through. He was slumped with his head on Spano's shoulder.

"He was reaching for something when he got hit." Jethro finally answered.

"No." Ziva stopped. "Well yes, technically, but that was not what I was referring to."

Jethro ignored her and circled around the car. He got to the driver's side and pulled that door open. He took note of everything. "The passenger was shot first."

He leaned down so he could get a better look across the car. Keller's hand was positioned across Spano's knee. "He was reaching for the glove compartment."

Careful as to not disturb the body, Ziva leaned down and opened the object in question. There, right in front of their faces was a gun. A Sig, more specifically. A good, strong, and reliable weapon. Jethro caught Ziva's eye across the car. "He saw his companion die, and he tried to protect himself. He was reaching for his weapon when he was shot."

The two of them stood as Ducky made his way over to them. "Got an easy one for ya, Duck."

"Eh, double homicides are never easy, Jethro." The elder man said as he stepped up to the car. "What do we have here? Oh you poor fellow. Out for a simple drive in the country and suddenly your life is over."

Jethro couldn't make out what he did next. Ducky had practically crawled inside of the car on top of Keller. "Cause of death looks like gunshot wound to the head."

"It appears so!" Ducky called inside the car. "Mr. Palmer, the liver probe, if you will." He reached his hand back out and waited for Palmer to hand him the instrument. The boy fumbled around his bag for a bit in search of it. "Today, Mr. Palmer."

"Sorry Doctor." He stuttered as he finally grabbed the probe. He placed it directly in Ducky's hand.

After it disappeared inside of the car again, Jethro waited a few moments before asking. "Time of death?"

"Liver temp suggests sometime between midnight and two last night. Lieutenant Colonel, where could you possibly be heading that late at night?"

"What about the judge?"

He only had to wait a few more seconds before he got the answer for that. "Same time. But as usual, I will know more once I get them back to autopsy." Ducky climbed out of the car.

Jethro nodded. "Boss!" He turned around at the sound of Tony's voice. His senior field agent jogged up to the car. "I just off the phone with Keller's office. It turns out that our Lieutenant Colonel took a ten day vacation. He wouldn't say where he was going, just that it was out of town."

"And Spano?"

Tony shook his head. "They wouldn't pick up, I was going to call in another minute or so." Jethro glared. "Or I could call back right now." Jethro glared harder. Tony pointed behind him. "I'm just gonna, go make that call." Tony darted back to the car.

"Found something!" Jethro turned at the sound of Ziva's voice. She had crawled inside the car when Ducky crawled out. Jethro leaned down so he was eye level with her. "It was stuck between Spano and Keller." She handed it over. "It's a map."

"Well, yeah, I can see that, David." He opened it and studied it better at arm's length. "It's a map of West Virginia. You found me a map of the state."

"I know it's a map of West Virginia, Gibbs. The point is that is not an official map of West Virginia. Look at the lego!"

"Logo, Ziva, not lego." With a heavy sigh, he carefully studied the corner. He pulled his head back a little so he could read it better. "Millworth Farms." He dropped his arms as a thought came to him. Why would a farm have its own special map? "McGee, get me a map of West Virginia."

"Uh, um, right away, boss."

Jethro studied the map again. He found their location relatively quickly. A little while away, he found a rather bright and colorful spot with "Millworth Farms" written in cursive over it. When McGee came back and thrust a map in his hands.

Millworth Farms was missing.

"Spano took the same time off, boss!" Tony called as he rushed over to the car again. "He also didn't say where, but he did say it was someplace fun."

Jethro handed the map over to the younger man. "You ever heard of Millworth Farms?"

Tony shook his head. "Not big on farming, boss." He added a small chuckle that turned into a cough when he saw his boss' glare. "Sorry, got something caught in my throat."

Jethro held his smirk pretty well. He always liked to torment Tony. He wasn't really easily flustered, but he always made a show about it. It was amusing, to say the least.

"McGee, Ziva, head back to D.C. I want to know everything about Lieutenant Colonel Keller and Judge Spano. DiNozzo," the young man jumped again. This time, Jethro couldn't stop the grin, "with me," he said quietly and calmly, completely different from the first part of his sentence.

He started walking to the sedan. He didn't bother looking behind him to know that Tony was following.

"Where we going, boss?" Tony asked after he climbed in the passenger's seat.

Jethro fastened his seatbelt and started the car. "Millworth Farms."

The last thing he saw before he hightailed it out of there was Tony's smile fall.

You really didn't think I would kill Gibbs and Tony, did you? Come on, the story just started. Well, I hope you liked it, I was really planning on waiting until Sunday to post this, but I have a lot of homework I gotta do this weekend, so I didn't know when I'd have the time. So, thank my school for giving me homework, it got you guys a faster update than I intended. See you next Friday!

Bob