Elliot was broken from his reverie by the two distant voices that were approaching his desk. He shook his head and tried to focus on the task at hand. He took a bite of his sandwich and made a face. It was going on one o'clock in the afternoon and the mayo had gone bad. He wrapped it up and tossed it in the trash before picking up the phone.
"Hey, you." The voice on the line made his heart leap. The fact that he still got giddy when talking to her even for a moment or two proved just how bad he had it. Yep, he was a goner.
"How'd you know it was me? It could have been someone else, Liv." She'd been cooped up all day and he knew she was probably itching to get out.
"And who else is going to call at the same time every day? Remind me again." She pulled on her tennis shoes and laced them up while cradling the phone between her shoulder and ear.
"Right. Good call. I was wondering if you could squeeze me in. With your tight schedule, and all, I was hoping we could grab some lunch." It wouldn't take much convincing to get her out of the apartment.
"Hmm…I just don't know. I could spare a few moments. I've got John and Fin before you, though, so make it fast." She teased him lightly, loving the hesitation before he spoke again.
"Very funny. What do they have that I don't?" He tapped his pen lightly on the pad of paper until a hand came into his view to pluck it from his grasp. He looked up and glared at one of the men who was taking up time he could be spending with his wife.
"Aww…don't be jealous, sweetie. They called me earlier to see if they could take me out." She pocketed her keys and walked down the hall while mentally checking that she had everything.
"I'm not jealous. Okay, maybe a little. I miss you already. I know we've been apart but I got used to the time together last week. Now I have to share you with the guys and a nurse. I just want you to myself." He grew red when he noticed John and Fin weren't bothering to hide their amusement.
"I'd take the guys over the nurse any day. I hate this thing. I don't even want to look at it. Before you clean it, knock me out." She growled, pushing the sleeve of her arm over the line. She still couldn't believe it had gotten that bad.
"I know you do, honey. I remember her saying that some women don't need it the whole time. Sometimes it goes away on its own. Maybe that will be the case with you." He turned serious, frowning at the thought of something happening to her or the baby. The baby. They really had to come up with a name. Maybe over lunch, he thought.
"I hope so. I know it's for the best, either way. I just want our child to be healthy. I guess if I have to put up with it for a while, then so be it. I don't want to go back and get the book, but I really think we need to pick out a name." She hailed a taxi and covered the mouthpiece while she gave directions.
"I was thinking that, too. We'll come up with something. When do you think you'll be here?" He could hear traffic, although it was muffled. She must be on her way.
"Shouldn't be more than fifteen minutes. Got a hot date, Detective Stabler?" She could detect seriousness in his voice all the sudden and she wondered what was bothering him. He'd been overly protective and she chalked it up to her needing a permanent IV throughout her pregnancy.
"Just with my lovely wife and my baby. The guys just said they'd forfeit their chance to see you so I could go to lunch with you. Isn't that nice of them, Liv?" He smirked around the phone at his ear and dodged a paper ball thrown in his direction.
"Tell them I'll stop by afterward and say hi. It'll be good to see them again. I need to give Cap an update as to when I'm coming back. Now that I'm feeling better, I don't see any harm in returning to light duty." She tried to remember the times she'd seen any female detectives going through the motions of pregnancy. She wasn't sure how the department handled cases such as hers.
"Want me to ask him to stick around? That way you won't have to wait around for him?" He hated the idea of her being out on the street but over the past few months, she'd taken on the role of the soon-to-be-mother with open arms. She wouldn't let anything happen.
"Sure, if he wants. And if there's anything else I need to fill out that I didn't last time, could you put it on my desk? I'll take care of it when I stop by to see the guys." She'd filled out form after form, initialing and dating until her hand cramped. She had no idea where it call came from.
"Will do. Oh, before I forget, you have a message. It came in last week sometime. The guys said it didn't sound important so they didn't bother calling us at home. I left it under your phone. In about five minutes I won't remember it's there so I thought I'd tell you now. You know how my memory is." He knew he'd just opened himself up, and waited for her response.
"First thing to go, old man." She knew he was smiling, even if she couldn't see him.
"Hey, who you callin' an old man?" He flipped Fin the bird when he saw him laughing.
"You, baby. But you're my old man." She chuckled. They weren't that far apart but she still had to reassure him. She never got tired of it.
"Better believe it. How far are you now?" He closed the file folder and stood up, stretching.
"Not far. Traffic isn't bad today. Should be there earlier than I thought. Meet you outside? We'll take your car." She ran a hand through her hair and raised in her seat to see her reflection in the cab's rearview mirror. She didn't have to impress her husband, but she still wanted to look good. Her figure was less than becoming lately, but it was a part of life she was learning to deal with.
"Yeah. I'll see you in a few, kay?" He stuck his wallet in his pocket and heard her agree before disconnecting. With a quick wave, he was out the door.
Xxx
"What'd he do, ditch you, Liv?" Munch smiled upon seeing her enter the squad room.
"He's parking the car. Like a true gentlemen, he dropped me off at the door." She pulled a pen out of her cup holder and sat down.
"See Fin, now that's what real partners do for each other. Why don't you ever do that for me?" He saw Fin roll his eyes.
"Yeah, well I ain't marryin' your punk ass so you better get used to walkin'." Fin cringed as Elliot picked that moment to enter.
"Watch your language around my wife and baby." He kissed Olivia on the cheek and sat down on the corner of his desk so that he was facing her.
"Isn't like she hasn't heard worse. You decide on a name yet?" He'd seen Olivia pick up a phone. She was filling out status change forms but he had a feeling it wasn't the paperwork that brought the look to her face. He frowned as she put down the receiver with shaking hands.
"A few names we're tossing around. And it doesn't matter what she's heard. Point is she's my wife and that's my baby in there and I'll decide what they he." He stopped mid-sentence and followed Fin's gaze to his wife. In two steps, he was at her side.
"The message from last week was from a law firm specializing in family law. He said he came across something he needed my help in sorting out. I have to meet with him in a half hour." She stood, forgetting the papers in front of her.
"Did he say what that something was, Liv?" John made his way over to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"He said he was confused, that my name isn't anywhere on the documentation and that no one knew I existed. How the hell can that be?" She stared off into space, lost in thought.
"Now I'm confused. What documentation?" Fin stood back, giving her space.
"My mother." With that, she walked out of the room, leaving them to scratch their heads.
xxx
Olivia let the words sink in. As soon as she heard the lawyer mention," no surviving family members", she'd blocked out the rest. She'd heard it loud and clear, but she didn't have to believe it.
"How could she do that? Her own flesh and blood!" She jerked her arm free of his grasp and slammed the car door shut.
"Olivia, don't be this way. Come on." He watched her run up the steps and swore under his breath before parking the car. It didn't take him long to catch up to her.
"Go back to work, Elliot. I'm fine." She remembered thinking once that they rarely used each other's first names anymore. Usually it was when emotions were high.
"I'm not leaving you like this. Not after what just happened in that office. Now just calm down and we'll talk about this." He let her enter before him and shut the door behind him before sitting next to her on the couch.
"Talk about what? How my whole existence is a lie? How about how the one person I thought I knew didn't even want me? Do you know how that feels? It hurts, okay? So, forgive me if I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to even think about it!" She started sobbing and fought his attempts of comfort.
"Oh, Liv. I don't know what's going on we'll get to the bottom of it." He brushed aside a strand of damp hair and let out a sigh of relief when she didn't turn away.
"I just…you know I had this image of my mom when I was younger. I held onto that image of her my entire life. I saw it the day she died. She…" The words were cut off by a gut-wrenching sob that came from the depths of her soul. It blocked her throat painfully.
"She what, Liv?" He urged her to continue, knowing it was good for her to get it all out. He braced himself for what she would say. She took several deep breaths before she could choke out the words.
"Sh…she said once that she loved me. She gave me a hug and she said she was sorry. At the time I didn't know what she was sorry for. I thought I deserved everything I got. Maybe I did. It's just…over the years I saw that picture in my head and I imagined those to be her last words. Now I find out that she kept me a secret and I want a re-do. I want a new ending because damnit, it's not fair. All I ever wanted was for her to love me and I kept waiting for the day where she would. That day came and went and I just went to this fantasy world where all abused children go. After every so-called accident, I'd tell myself that I loved her in spite of it all. Regardless of whether she said it, that's what I told myself. And do you know why? Because I thought she'd say it in return. Because if my own mother didn't love me, then who would? And each and every time she turned away from me I loved her a little more, hoping that the next time would turn out differently. I can understand why she didn't like me, but why didn't she love me? Why did she do it? Why did she lie about me? What's wrong with me?" She turned to him and buried her face into his shirt as she clutched onto him with all the strength she had left in her body.
"I'll love you, Liv. I love you with all my heart and with every ounce of my being. I can't sit here and tell you I know what it's like to be in that situation but I can tell you that she was sick, honey. She was an alcoholic and I'm not defending her but when people are sick they say and do horrible things. I don't know why she lied but I can tell you this. There's not a thing wrong with you and don't you EVER think for a second that there is. God, Liv. I see this strong, beautiful mother of my child and it breaks my heart to see you hurting. I want to make it all go away, but I can't. Tell me what I can do. Please, because it's killing me to see you like this." He placed her head on his shoulder and ran his hand through her hair, smoothing the auburn locks.
"I don't know. I can't see or feel beyond what I'm feeling right now. It hurts so bad." She tightened her hold on him, wanting to never be let go of again.
"I know." It was all he could say and hold her was all he could do. He slid back on the couch and lay down, bringing her down onto his chest. He whispered soothing words into her ear.
"Elliot?" Guilt washed over her for what she'd just done.
"Mm..hmm?" He slipped his right hand under her shirt and stroked her back.
"I'm sorry I cursed. Do you think the baby heard me?" She closed her eyes, letting his fingers relax her for the first time since they'd eaten lunch.
"It's okay, honey. I think maybe so, but I'll bet he was doing some of his own." It was the first time he'd given a sex to their baby. He wanted another little boy. He thought she'd started crying again when he felt her shaking under his fingers. He cocked his head around and saw she was smiling. He, too closed his eyes. He wouldn't sleep, though. He had too much to think about. He'd told the guys if he didn't return that he was taking the rest of the day off. They seemed to know she would need him. She needed him then more than ever. He cursed Serena Benson and the horrible injustice that she bestowed upon her daughter.
"El?" She whispered her throat raw from crying.
"Yeah, Liv?" He kissed the top of her head.
"I like the name Zane." She turned her head so he could hear her.
"What's it mean?" It wasn't one of the boy's names they'd gone over but he had a feeling she'd been sitting on that particular one.
"Beloved." She let herself succumb to drowsiness, but as she was going, she caught his reply. She smiled in her sleep.
"Then I like it too." He pulled her shirt down and adjusted her arm so that he wouldn't bump the line. He thought about the name she'd thought up. It was fitting. Their little boy would be loved, just like his momma.