Elliot was fuming. He'd stepped into the family room to sleep for a few hours and had to resist the strong urge to choke someone. The moment he saw his son, something inside him nearly snapped. He shook his head and stood there. He had to tell Olivia. He had to prepare her. Sighing, he turned back around and left the room.
"Yeah?" Casey mumbled into the receiver. It was approaching seven o'clock and she was exhausted.
"Casey, it's me. Is Liv up?" Elliot sat down on the chair and strained to hear over the cartoon that was blasting from the television behind him.
"Let me check. I don't think it matters if she isn't. She'll kill me if I didn't tell her you called." Casey made her way down the hall and found Olivia curled up on the couch. The remote rested in her loose grip and threatened to fall to the floor. She must have gotten up sometime during the night. Whatever the case, she seemed to have fallen back asleep.
"I'm up." Olivia's head rose slowly upon hearing Casey's voice. The phone had woken her up and she'd dozed lightly in case it was for her.
"Here she is." Casey handed the phone over and nodded when Olivia thanked her.
"Hey. How'd you sleep?" Elliot wished he'd turned the television off before he'd called. In her sleepy state, he could barely hear his wife.
"Mmm…okay. Did you get any?" Olivia heard Elliot's tired voice and felt her forehead.
"I did. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I finally gave up around four and got a few hours in. Our favorite nurse worked last night." He scowled as he pictured Jane in a black cloak and horns atop her dingy, grey hair.
"I feel a lot better. I'll come up in a couple hours. I'll see if Casey can drive me up there." She used the arm of the chair as leverage and stood.
"Why don't I pick you up? Zane is due for a feeding soon. I'll stick around for that. Then I'll head out. It'll give you time to get ready. Do you feel up to getting some breakfast?" He glanced up from the phone and frowned when he caught what was on. He didn't understand the shows kids were into these days.
"Can we eat on the way? I really just want to get back up there." She padded into the bathroom and studied her reflection. She could get by with a quick comb-through with her hands.
"Sure. I'll pick something up. I'm going to stop by the house first and grab a shower. Do you need me to get you some more clothes?" Elliot added up the time it would take to get everything done in his head.
"Oh, could you? Can you grab my blue sweats? Not the elastic ones but the ones with the drawstring. Any shirt is fine but the hospital is cold so if you could grab a hooded sweatshirt or something, that would be better than a jacket. I should have some new bras in a bag on the floor by the dresser, along with some panties. If you could grab those, too. Oh, I need some pads. They're under the sink in the pink wrapper. I think that's it." She tried to think of anything else she'd need, knowing Elliot might forget half of what she'd asked for.
"I should have brought my notepad. I'm apologizing in advance in case I forget something." Elliot heard the television click off and mouthed his appreciation to a tired-looking parent. He held up a finger and turned back to the phone.
"Okay. Please remember the pads. I have a couple in my purse but I need some more to take with me. Thank you, honey." Olivia stood outside Casey's door and tapped her foot. She forgot to ask for socks.
"You're welcome. If you think of anything else, I should be home in about an hour. I'm going to go, okay? Tell Casey thanks again." Elliot studied the grooves that had been etched in the table.
"I will. Love you." She smiled when he returned the sentiment.
ooo
Olivia sat on the porch anxiously. When she saw Elliot coming, she smiled warmly. She waited while he came around to help her stand up.
"Hey. Where's Casey?" Elliot squatted next to his wife and rose slowly while holding onto her from behind. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and ushered her into the car.
"Upstairs. I told her I'd be fine. I've only been waiting a few minutes. I missed you." Olivia waited for him to get in and shut the door. She never thought she'd be so glad to be in his car.
"It was lonely last night without you there. I got you a muffin and some juice." Elliot handed her the bag from the back seat and watched her rifle through it.
"Thanks. How's he doing?" She downed a third of her the orange juice and wiped her mouth before unwrapping her muffin.
"He's doing better today. He was awake earlier but he fell asleep before I left. He's getting squirmy and they had to move his IV. I wanted to tell you before you saw him." He saw the anger radiating from every pour in her body.
"I thought she was going to tell us first. We specifically asked her to talk to us first. It's like she just waits for us to leave. I knew that would happen. I knew it!" She grabbed her muffin and stuffed a big bite into her mouth. Her elbow hit the juice bottle, nearly sending it to the floor.
"I just wanted you to be ready. Maybe it'll be easier to hold him now." He took a swig of coffee and made room for her bottle so she didn't have to hold it on the seat.
"Did you get to change him again?" She remembered the joy in Elliot's voice when he'd been allowed to change Zane the first time.
"No. I watched, though. He peed on Jane's arm. Gotta' work on that aim." He laughed at her expression.
"Are you kidding? He probably planned it that way. Serves her right." She mumbled under her breath and finished up her muffin.
"Maureen was over at the house yesterday. She stuck a CD in with the mail." Elliot held onto the wheel with one hand and turned the CD player on with the other. He turned up the volume and switched to the track that sounded the most familiar.
"Can I see the case?" Olivia started the song over and sniffed after the first few lines.
"Glove box. Happy tears?" Elliot leaned in to see her face. Seeing her nod, he reached over with his free hand and got the case out so she could read along. He turned his attention back to the road and waited for the light to change.
"I like it. I'll have to call her and thank her." She followed along and smiled when she got to the second verse.
"My favorite part. Reminds me of the hospital. It scares the heck out of me to see him and know he needs me so much. I hate leaving him." Elliot wiped a tear from his eye and cleared his throat.
"He knows his daddy. That's why he woke up, honey. I'll get you another magazine to read when we get up there. You boys can bond." Olivia leaned over and kissed the corner of his mouth. She could taste the salt of his tears and wiped them away with her thumb.
"How…I forgot that was even there. I love you so much baby. Thank you for our son. I never thought I'd have enough love to go around when Kathy was pregnant with the twins. When I found out you were pregnant, I was so nervous. I couldn't love our son more." He smiled as the song ended.
"I love you. You're a good father. You're a good husband. You know, your contribution helped, too." She winked and nudged him in the ribs.
"You're crazy. But you're my crazy wife. Let's go see our little man." He pulled into the lot and intertwined his hand with hers as they slowly made their way across the street. He wrapped his arm around her and ran a hand through her hair. He couldn't wait to get back in there.
When they reached the right area, they quickly signed in and sanitized their hands. Olivia's pace quickened when she saw Zane. She held a hand to her mouth at the sight. The IV bothered her, but it was the pacifier that made her weak in the knees. She sighed, feeling broken.
"They did that yesterday, too. They said he was fussy and they had to tend to the other babies." He massaged her shoulders and pulled her closer to rest against his chest.
"That's no excuse. Babies cry for a reason. Why would they do that?" Olivia peered down at Zane in shock. His pacifier was stuck into his mouth by a blue suction. The suction had been turned around and inserted into the hole on the back of the pacifier, effectively keeping it in place.
"We're here now, honey. Sit down, okay?" He led her to a rocker that had been parked next to the monitor.
"What a cruel, horrible lady. Unbelievable." Olivia crossed her arms defiantly. She was so glad the nurse was off duty.
"I love you." Elliot tucked away an unruly strand of hair and kissed her temple.
"Love you, too. Any news on his test results?" She sat in the rocker, all the while hating the fact that her son wasn't in her arms. She glanced around, and grabbed some gloves from a box lying nearby. Carefully, she opened the door. She gently pried the suction away from the pacifier, so that Zane could spit it out if he didn't want it. She stroked his cheek, soothingly, before closing the door once again.
"I think today sometime." He kept a hand on her shoulder, admiring the protective role she was taking for her son.
"Good. That's good." She held his gaze before focusing back on Zane.
"You feeling okay?" Elliot wanted her to tell the truth. He hoped she would.
"I'm fine, really. I took something before I left. I've got them in my purse." She kissed him softly and tossed her gloves away.
"I wish I was able to get that much sleep." The doctor came up behind them and smiled.
"You and me both. Any news on our son?" Elliot shook the doctor's hand and helped Olivia to stand.
"That's why I'm here. Everything looks good. The initial X-Ray we were given showed a small spot on both lungs. We see that occasionally when all of the amniotic fluid isn't removed. We've been treating him for pneumonia, but we wanted to be certain that's all we were dealing with. I explained that to your husband after your son was brought over. At any rate, everything looks to be progressing as we expected. He's responding to the treatments quite well. Moving forward, I expect him to continue to improve. Mom, would you like to hold your son?" He saw her eyes water as she nodded.
"I think she's a little choked up. She was feeling a bit under the weather and had to leave. She hasn't spent much time with him." Elliot patted her knee and smiled, reassuringly.
"Then I won't keep you any longer. I just wanted to give you an update. Mary will be over shortly. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I just got here, so I'll be here for the next eighteen hours or so. Take care." He clapped Elliot on the shoulder and gave a slight wave to Olivia as he went on his way.
"Hey, it's okay." Elliot saw the fresh tears cascading down Olivia's face and held her face gently to his.
"I know. I just…I really needed to hear that today. I needed to know he's okay." She let out a shaky breath and whimpered. The events had caught up with her upon the doctor's news, and she couldn't help the release of emotions.
"Let it out, baby." He rubbed her back in a smoothing motion and rocking her from side-to-side, giving her the peace she'd been denied since they'd gotten the news.