Lily padded down the pavement, brandishing a bottle of finely aged red wine. She was unsure of the customs of visiting another's house, but she hoped she'd picked the right gift. As she neared the big yellow house, she felt her stomach turn and twist and a lump form in her throat. Standing upon the pathway to their entrance, she could hear the wind whistling, chastising her for her disobedience. No, you shouldn't be here. You should be waiting for him. And it was true. She should have. She never had company unless it was his; she never ate unless he cooked for her. It was his voice in the wind, telling her he was disappointed. And she hated disappointing him.
Yet, her legs had walked to the door and her fingers had touched the bell, without even the consent of her greater mind. It was will she was moving on, and that was the most dangerous force of function.
"Hiya Lil, wasn't sure you'd come out. We're glad to have you." Miley took the wine with an appreciative smile and moved so Lily could walk in. When she had, she put a comforting hand on her back, swiping it down and up before motioning her to follow. When she'd come into the grandiose kitchen, she could smell the luxury of home-cooked food and family unity. It was a tender fragrance, only left in houses that hosted the greatest love. Once, her own house smelled of such a fragrance. Now, it smelled of the emptiness that was her soul, her heart, and her home.
"Go out there and get barbequing with them boys Lucas." At the corner of the kitchen, there was a strong looking woman with mid shoulder brown hair and a husky voice bossing around a sedated and submissive looking man. He was small and skinny and frail, but with a kind and controlled face. She was pretty, but brute and forceful.
"Hang on a minute Lucas; I want you guys to meet someone. Lily, this is Joannie and Lucas Palumbo. Guys, this is Lily Truscott."
"Yeah I made the man take my last name- WAIT Lily Truscott? As in the Lillian Truscott? The girl from the haunted house?" Joannie looked as though she was in the middle of an often-made speech, when the realization of Lily finally sunk in. At the remark, Lily's face was a pale shade of pink. Her house really wasn't that bad.
"Umm yes." She remembered seeing this couple before. She'd passed them off as nothing particular, noting the woman's abrasiveness, and the man's dark eyes. He was whipped by love, controlled by her, burdened and bound by the love he had. But like the gentleman he was, he never once complained.
"I apologize for her surprise Ms. Truscott; it's just a rare occasion that we ever get the privilege to see you. It's nice making your acquaintance." Lucas stuck out a soft warm hand, shaking hers firmly. His eyes had cleared a bit, and there was something that passed between her and him. It was an understanding that only abused slaves of love could comprehend.
"Thank you." She replied simply.
"Gosh you seem a lot more … human … in person Lily." Joannie jutted out a rough hand and shook it crazily.
"Thank you Mrs. Palumbo."
"Uh huh." She said skeptically, clearly not used to formalities as extreme as Lily's.
Before there was time for an awkward silence, the brunette woman had begun hounding on her husband.
"Lucas, didn't I tell you to go make friends with those guys out there?! Get going!" He nodded obediently, tipped his head at Lily and Miley, and began walking outside.
"Jesus Christ, I swear that man wouldn't have balls if God hadn't sewed 'em on."
Joannie looked more like she was talking to herself, but her rudeness wasn't settling well on Lily. Though, in a matter of seconds, she was the topic of Joannie's sporadic interest.
"So Lily, any husband? Boyfriend? Crush?" Uneasily, Lily eyed the woman, willing herself to clench her jaw shut.
"No." She stated simply and directly and looked away to make obvious her discomfort.
"Ah so you can't get a man huh?" Miley's voice hitched in her throat, knowing Joannie had crossed some undefined line. Lily looked furious and sad and ten times more shielded then she ever had been before.
"So Lily what do you do for a living?" The brunette quickly interjected and Lily shot her a grateful smile.
"I'm a writer." Ah, that's why she sounds so well dictated. Miley thought.
"Got any good books on the shelf?"
"No Mrs. Palumbo I work as a journalist for the moment. Soon, after the publishing of my first novel, I will be an author." She tried not to show her hatred for the woman.
"What's yer book gonna be called?"
"Slave of Love." Lily bit her bottom lip, looking as though she'd said too much.
"Ah … so is it a sex story?" Miley rolled her eyes at Joannie's incompetence.
"Hey Joannie, better go check up on those boys. Lord knows you can barbeque better than all of them. Don't want them burning down my backyard."
Joannie laughed heartily, taking it as a compliment, as Miley dismissed her. After she was gone, she turned to Lily. The blonde had grown very uneasy and uncomfortable, and she looked as though she was having a very difficult time. I should've listened to him. He told me to stay home. I should have listened.
"Hey Lily, I'm sorry about Jo, she tends to speak her mind and she gets a bit rude sometimes. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it. I really only brought her over because her little boy, Jack, is around the age of ours. I hope she hasn't made you too uneasy. Can I get you something to drink?" Miley's hand had played a comforting circle on Lily's back, and it took all her might not to flinch under contact. She'd never felt a soothing hand that wasn't his.
"Water would be nice."
"Alright then." She smiled and fetched the beverage, before motioning for Lily to sit at the island with her.
"Tell me about yourself Lily. Where'd you live before here?" Again, an uneven shift.
"I'm really quite uninteresting Miley. I lived in Malibu before here. How about you? For someone who has such a disdain for country life, you do boast a rich Southern accent." Miley went pink in the cheeks at this observation, but also remembered to note the suppression Lily held over her past-life. Noting that she'd once again changed the subject.
"I used to live in the heart of Tennessee. But, after a few things happened, I decided I couldn't handle that life. I hated the country air, the mindless amounts of free reign. It was spacious yet emotionally constricting. I guess I figured New York was the place to be. That's where I met Jake. So I have no regrets." She looked a bit worried and apprehensive about the topic. Curiosity struck the blonde, but she opted to leave her her privacy- as she wanted some of her own.
"Wow. That's fantastic. How did you two meet?"
With that, the conversation was rapid and lighthearted. It gave Lily a moment to sit in repose. She felt the words tingle in her ear drums. She felt the tones of the story, lifting and shrugging, carry the subjects. Miley's voice was so calm and collected. It was a beautiful song of melodious notes. It travelled in and out of her mind as the tale was vibrantly relived.
And soon, it was time to eat.
---*---
Lily suffered through the obnoxious remarks of Joannie's unending speech. Constantly, she was being jabbed at with things that were so true that they were the worst kind of offense. But through it, came the comforting gaze of Miley's eyes, apologetically rethinking Joannie's invite.
Every time she spoke, she felt the brunette's eyes on her. Miley was always listening, offering her utmost focus. It'd been a long time since someone had listened.
And now, as she was perched in the arms of her favorite tree, she could hear the wind whistling. What were you thinking? It asked the question over and over. She could justify no answer. What was she thinking going to a dinner party? What was she thinking feeling special? What was she thinking finding companionship in another? Then it hit her. She wasn't thinking. She was living off of will. And will was the worst force of function.