Chapter Six- Academy Years: The Cheat and the Tool
Flashing a grin at a pair of passing female cadets, I nudge Bones, "I'm taking the test again, and I want you to be there."
Half-way through ignoring his rant about this being my third attempt and him being a doctor and that he's busy, I find my thoughts swirling around the absent Kyra. Something has been off with her for the past year. The rumors of her and Bones faded a month after her accident, but the two of us found amusement in the new accusations of her being in a relationship with the extremely homosexual David Wilson.
Her absence today isn't anything new. For the past year Commander Wallace has placed her in several different fighting tournaments and each time, I watch as my best friend comes back beaten and bruised, but her eyes always seem to be filled with a sense of satisfaction. Hearing Bones ask about Kyra attending, I scoff.
"Are you kidding? In case you haven't noticed, Bones, Kam finds a bunch of pointless fighting tournaments more important than anything we do here at the Academy. I mean, where was she during your Symposium? Or where was she when David succeeded in skipping all the way to Advanced Telemetry in only under his first semester? Where was she for the past two times I took the damn test?" I give him a side glance before sighing, "Whatever. I have some studying to do."
"Study my ass," the gruff voice of the doctor mutters as I walk off.
The praises and the congratulations seem empty without her here. Are these competitions all worth missing key points in my life? Why does it seem like her friendship is only around when it benefits herself? Why am I left second to a bunch of fighting tournaments? Is this what she feels like when I'm with other women?
I mentally scoff at my own thoughts. As if she cares. She didn't even seem to feel anything that I felt when I kissed her that day so long ago. Sure, I was slightly out of my mind, but I can't remember how long I've held the urge to kiss her like that. Those full lips just a soft as I had imagined, but they seem cool to the touch.
It's barely a day after my cheating ways are found out and I find myself mentally kicking my own ass as I approach my dorm room. What am I going to do? They can expel me from the Academy and everything I've pushed myself to do would be pointless. God! This is all her damn fault. She puts these ideas in my head that nothing I do is wrong and I always jump at the chance to do it. Always jumping to defy the odds, trying without any success to see some pride flicker in her always passive gaze.
"Kam?" I whisper, staring wide-eyed at the obviously beaten woman sitting in the chair at my study desk. My anger grows from the back of my mind as her lips open to say something, "I don't want to hear anything you have to say."
I ignore the straightening of her back as she sits upright, her eyes focusing on me, but I don't give her a moment to speak those silver-tongued words, "No. I've had it, Kyra! Me, Bones, Davvy. We're sick of you constantly running off to these fucking tournaments and missing out on all of our accomplishments!"
Her heavy breathing seems to become deeper with each word that leaves my lips, her silver-violet eyes sliding shut, "Every time there's something important to us, you're always off fighting someone. For what? For the satisfaction that you are the best? Well, from what I see, it looks like someone finally bested your ass."
Silver-violet eyes snap open, the passive gaze hardening, "You remember what you told me years ago? That the only reason you never wanted to become a Starfleet officer is because you're afraid of becoming some fucking tool? Well guess what? Too fucking late!"
Her hands clench into fists before she moves to her feet, "I'm not a tool, damn it! You don't even know-"
"That because you don't say a damn thing!" I cut her off, ignoring the tension forming in her shoulders, "You're loyalty is only available when it suits you and I'm sick of it!"
My chest is heaving by the time my rant is done and I watch as her hard gaze seems to freeze over. She doesn't even try to deny anything as she moves to walk out of the room, but my hand on her wrist forces her to stop.
"I suggest ye' let go of me," the thick Irish-accented voice growls out, my insides shuddering at the sound.
"Or what? You'll choke the shit out of me? Too late for that," I snap, kicking myself in the head for bringing that subject up.
Yanking her arm from my grasp, I take a step back as she turns her silver-violet eyes flickering with something I've never seen before. Sorrow. I want to move toward her, seeing the foreign glint in her eyes, but her body moves away from me instinctively.
"Ye' remember years ago, when I told ye' you'd be my last?" I tense as I remember the conversation, "I guess I should thank you for making everything clear to me."
"W-what?"
The somber glint in her eyes fades as she meets my gaze, "I figured out a long time ago, if someone like yourself, who accepts everyone for who they are, no matter what they are, can accept me for who I am, then I can live a normal life." Her hands clench tightly, "But I now see that, that wasn't what it meant. It meant that if someone like you, who accepts everyone, cannot accept me for who I am, then there is a deep doubt that anyone in this universe will."
"W-what are you talking about?" I ask, hoping that what she's saying is just some sick prank.
"I'm saying, Cadet Kirk," I flinch from the foreign, formal tone that leaves her lips, "Ye' will be the last friend I ever have. I guess I should thank ye'," A cynical, cruel smile forms on her lips, "Ye' made everything that's about to come easier to deal with."
She turns in a whirl of thick black curls, "Enjoy the rest of your Academy days, Cadet Kirk."
Hearing the door slide shut, I stare widely at the empty room around me. Tell me that this is all a sick joke. That's what it is. Kyra's going to come back through that door, flashing me that smile hidden deep in her eyes, and tell me to lighten up. Please, tell me I didn't lose one of the greatest friends I've ever come to know.
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" I hear the man before me ask.
Pushing the one-sided argument to the back of my mind, I glance up at the man I've come to respect, "Aye, sir. I came across some rather helpful people and I've come to learn new things about myself that I never thought was possible."
"May I make a suggestion?" I nod, watching the man's face resting on the folded hands, "When you finish finding yourself, contact me. Starfleet could use someone of your caliber on a Strike team."
Use? My shoulders tense as I fight the urge to glare at the man, "Use? I'm not a tool, damn it."
The blue eyes widen, "I didn't mean as a tool. You're abilities can assist in the eradication of tyrants that suppress some of the Federations pending allies. Your abilities can help people find peace in their home worlds."
I...I can help people? Looking down at my hands, the thought continues to circle in my head. These hands? The hands that have seen so much blood. So many secrets? I can actually help people? I can prove J- Cadet Kirk wrong. I will not be a tool.
I nod, "I will think 'bout it, sir."
"I am curious. After everything you've learned, I'm surprised you're jumping at this chance so quickly," the man comments.
"Remember, when I told ye' that I wouldn't be the one to make this decision for me?" His eyes widen, "Aye. I believe Cadet Kirk made it loud an' clear what he really thinks of me after all these years."
Ignoring the flicker of surprise in his gaze, I bow respectfully, "Not only do I want to thank ye' sir, for everythin' you've helped me with, but I will keep your request in the back of my mind. If ye' are ever in need of my assistance, ye' know how to contact me."
"Discreet and coded," he replies softly, his stern glint disappearing to be taken over by a glint of admiration. "You have never let me down before, Cadet."
"Please, sir, call me Kyra," I shrug at his quirked eyebrow, "since as of this moment, I am no longer a student at this Academy."
Saluting Captain Christopher Pike for probably the last time, I turn and leave the office. Pulling a PADD from my satchel, I press on a relatively new contact. Silver-gold eyes peer back at me from a lightly tanned face.
"You make up your mind yet?"
I nod, "Aye. I'm in. I'll be there tomorrow."
It didn't take me long to gather the few possessions I find important, my two retractable katana blades Hikaru had given to me for a Christmas gift will definitely assist in my future. Exiting the dorms, I stare up at the large campus of Starfleet Academy. A soft smile forms on my lips as memories flash through my mind before I mount the relatively new bike. Revving the engine, I peel out of the parking lot and disappear into the night.
'Good-bye, JT.'
'Say hello to our new life, Pup.'
I smirk at the voice, gunning the engine even more, enjoying the wind blasting past me.
"Jim?" I glance up from my bandaged hand, my gaze meeting the brown eyes of the newly instated CMO, Bones, "What's wrong?"
"Bones, what if Kam was on one of the other starships?" his eyes flicker with sorrow, "I mean, the last thing I said to her was pretty much a bunch of words used to call her a bad friend."
"Jim, you have to do what all of us have to do," I quirk an eyebrow, "You have to move on. I'm sure she's in a better place."
Shaking my head, I push back the guilt brimming in my heart as I fight to focus on the situation at hand. Getting Pike back. Now I just have to face that pointy-eared bastard. Pushing myself from the medical bed, I make my way toward the bridge, pushing all thoughts of Kyra McCloud out of my head.