I am so sorry!! I just couldn't figure out what I should finish the chapter up with! I loveeee you;p

The song is written by me-I wrote it with the theme of the story in mind. I realized that I never really touched on her Hispanic heritage, so I decided to play it out a bit. Don't worry, I put the translations under wherever I used Spanish. I hope you enjoy the chappy:D

The story picks up here, I promise. Darkness and angst ensues.

Disclaimer: The story is the only thing that is mine to own. Oh and the OC characters.

Chapter 5 – Of Dirty Eyes and Icy Smiles

Heading down the street at a frenzied pace, the overwhelmed woman closed her eyes in frustration as she mentally scolded herself for her ignorant mistake. She was about 2 hours late, she hazily noted as she tried to calm her way out of an anxiety attack.

'He's going to kill me.'

Breaking into a full run, Nakoruru pumped her legs harder as she started to see the outline of skyscrapers, meaning that she was practically near Kyoto. She commended herself internally as she ran even faster, pleased that she was on her way. But even if she were to make it to Kyoto, it would be hours before she arrived at her prison. The harsh truth did not derail her as she hurriedly passed unfamiliar faces, each bearing a look of anger all on their own.

An ominous shift in the atmosphere puzzled her as she almost bumped into an angry citizen, too engulfed in her own situation to notice or care. Slowing down, Nakoruru couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that bounded her as she looked around in alarm. After a few more seconds of glancing, she snapped her head forward as she spotted a black, sleek car trailing leisurely a few feet behind her. Coolly placing her hands into her pocket, she continued on her path unhurriedly as she discreetly glanced at the supposed intruder from the corner of her eye. Running like a maniac would only make the situation worse, she presumed.

She prepared for the worst as she perceived that the car had halted beside her. Nakoruru promptly adjusted the laces of her worn-down sneakers as she made sure that her feet were snug, planning to run like mad. The tinted window rolling down, she stopped in her tracks when she was greeted with brilliant, commanding eyes.

"Cherry, get in."

The sound of Haru's deep, authoritative voice made her think against running as she decided to obediently follow his orders. Walking around the car door that was thrown open in what seemed to be a fitful temper, Nakoruru practically collided into an arrogant-looking Haru, thinking he left enough space for her to sit. Entering the car, Nakoruru apologized as she was forced to cross over his form after he made no move to slide over and make room for her. She tried to hide the look of hurt that almost leaked through the cracks of her defensive walls as he barely acknowledged her. The middle seat always was the worse, she thought as she idly avoided the bright cerulean eyes to her left. She noted that the dark, irate expression he bore was the same look he wore before fighting off those Yankees. One by one the Sohmas took turns in mystifying her, she thought to herself as she reached the verdict that this wasn't the Haru from dinner.

What had she gotten herself into?

And those dirty eyes weren't the same as before.

"Kiri-chan, we found you! We did it! We did it!" The blank expression on her face never left as she was greeted by an overly cheerful Momiji who was seated to her left. After studying the details of the car, Nakoruru hesitantly waved to their driver who nodded in return, trying to understand their ulterior motive of taking her. This was the strangest intervention, she decided as Momiji's liveliness was the only rupture from the weighty air of despair that dripped into the atmosphere. The reason behind the defeaning silence was quite clear to her; Momiji and Haru knew. About the bruises, the lies, the abuse; everything. They knew everything.

Kidemore would not be pleased.

Alas, there was nothing she could do. She would just have to take his fury as if it were another way of showing his perverse affection. No matter how painful, she would have to deal with it. All because she had shown weakness-in front of a mere stranger at that!

She really was a failure.

After turning her attention back towards Haru who finally seemed ready to recognize her existence, she tried not to fidget as she caught the weird look he sent her way. Grey eyes no longer present, the depth of his dark-colored eyes enclosed around her, making her find it hard to breathe. Nakoruru shrunk under his intrusive stare as she awkwardly crossed her legs, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

Did he always have such cold eyes?

She anxiously stared at the back of Hatori's, who was driving to what seemed to be past the outskirts of town, seat as she bit down on her lips to keep from emitting a cold plea.

"Did you honestly think keeping quiet about this would make things better?"

What?

Blood vessels pumping, Nakoruru slowly turned her head to glance at the venom-laced question that was directed at her. She stared in fear at his side profile, dark grey eyes faced forward.

She didn't wait for the gravity of his statement to hit her as she hung her head in defeat, pale hands in lap.

This was an intervention, of course. In a matter of minutes, she had gone from abused to a charity case. Shockingly, the latter sounded much worse to bleeding ears. She knew if she were to go with them, it'd be a long way back to despair.

Feeling the car slowing down, Nakoruru pushed hard on her kness that were against her chest, mind reeling. This was her last chance for salvation and she was going to take it.

"Miji-nichan...Don't let them do this...You-you know what I've gone through in there! Stop them, please!" Grabbing his hands, she pleaded with him in anxiety. Of course he would understand; after all, that is why they were best friends. He knew her more than anyone, so of course he would know how she felt about the people who buried her deeper into ruin.

The shelter. A place that was supposed to be a safehaven for lost souls. Where they could be granted peace and redemption from all the desolate trials of life. A place where she would be protected from her father...and herself.

Myths.

Everything she had ever heard about it was a complete and utter lie.

They didn't care for you. Not even pity could dice their hardened souls. They didn't want to protect you; they only wanted to ensure they had a cut in your welfare check. They didn't want to save her...they wanted to save themselves the trouble of picking up her sullen remains. To them, her happiness was worthless...her life was worthless...

She was worthless.

After her mother died, the orphanage that took her in for a brief moment of time had one thing in mind; payment from the city. Mock pity forced them to shelter her for those few weeks before they sent her to the hell she was in now, officially washing their hands of her.

Into the hands of her heartless father, a man with a criminal record that preceeded him. And they knew.

They knew she had nowhere else to go.

And it really wasn't any of their problem.

"P-please don't take me there! I've been there, and I dont ever want to go back! Please, don't do this! M-miji...please..." Nakoruru covered her face with trembling hands as the torturing memories of all the horrific deeds that she was forced to endure at that shelter resurfaced. Momiji turned his head in shame and pity as Hatori proceeded to get out of the car. Trying to comfort her, Momiji flinched in shock as Nakoruru yanked the arm that he was currently rubbing away from him. Eyes downcast, she knew he wouldn't be of any help to her. Wiping her tears, she tried to gather as much strength as she could as her shivers began to cease.

No, this wasn't good.

This wasn't good at all.

She should've known that he wasn't trustworthy. It was her mistake for letting him open up the burning lid. Her wounds would never heal.

And she was foolish enough to believe she belonged.

"Kiri-cha-"

"Don't...don't call me that. Don't talk to me as if you know me..." Freezing, Momiji sat in complete shock as she got out of the car. Out of the 2 years that he had known her, she had never spoken to him with such...hate. It scared him how distant she sound, and to be honest...He never wanted to hear that voice again.

"I will never forgive you." He watched her back grow smaller as she walked with Hatori towards the entrance, tears streaming. Never making a move to wipe them, he stayed still even as Haru slammed open the door with all the power he could muster.

"Cherry! Wait!" Something didn't quite add up. The harsh cold voice, hardened eyes - her emotions seemed to be directed at something else.

Or someone else.

She didn't seem to be as angry as she should have been. Her eyes seemed too sad...

No.

Not sad...

Distant.

Unlike Momiji, he saw. Her eyes were too distant, almost as if she was looking through him...

Or past him...

Or...behind him?

Was someone else there?

Determined to find answers, Haru chased after her. Goal in mind, he would not let her fall.

But it was over. It was too late. Walking at a defeated pace, Nakoruru never turned to look back as the sound of her frantic steps mixed with the sound of Hatori's determind ones. One foot in front of the other, the only lesson she was ever able to learn.

She knew her place. She knew she didn't belong here.

It was all too good to be true.

"Agarese siempre!"

Stopping, Nakoruru whipped around in shock and fear as Haru closed the space between them. Tears streaming, she stayed silent as he roughly grabbed her shoulders, desperate to make her understand. He would not leave until he understood what-who she was so afraid of.

"It wasn't your fault. It's not your fault. He's just twisted!" Angry, Haru faltered in his arguement when cold, trembling hands swiftly pulled on the cuffs of his shirt. Looking into the voids of pain and misery, his face softened when he saw guilt and fear. Gently looking to the side, he tried not to charge when she nodded quickly.

Now he knew.

Someone was there.

And that someone was watching them.

And her.

"Agarese siempre...Always hold on, Cherry. Look at me." Never tearing his gaze from her, Haru stepped back as he bent down, knees touching the ground. Even as he bowed his head, he never looked away from the confused expression that was growing rapidly on both the faces of Nakoruru and Hatori, who was curious and annoyed as to why no one was following behind him.

"It's okay. I understand now-"

"You can come out now, by the way. It's painly obvious you're hiding there." Looking at Hatori, Haru couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed at how quick the older man decided to ruin his element of surprise. He really did hate drawing things out, didn't he?

"Oh dear, I've been caught, haven't I?" Finally deciding to step out of the shadows, both Hatori and Haru didn't bother to hide their disgust at the overly-confident look ripping his face. No longer hiding behind the shadows, the luminescent light from the moon seemed to give off an almost eery glow as it highlightened somewhat hardened features.

Without sparing Nakoruru a glance, Haru grabbed her hand and held her in place when he he saw dilated pupils begin to turn into an anxiety attack. He squeezed her hand almost violently as he felt her tense from his touch, apparently offended. Althouh uncomfortable at being in such an awkward, deadly situation, she did not shrink back from the action. She wasn't stupid; she had already seen the other side of Haru twice in a few days and she did not want to be the one to upset him again.

"Who-"

"I think she can tell you. Isn't that right, brat?"

Giving her an all-knowing look, Hatori silenced the stunned girl with a flick of his wrist as he took a confident step forward.

"I..."

"- don't think that is what is important. However," Momiji, who had shockingly remained passive throughout the whole ordeal, suddenly jumped out of the car in a fit of apprehension and concern, "I do wonder what the nature of your surprise visit is. Besides, we're all adults here, so there really is no need for cold formalities, neh?"

"Well well, aren't we the cranky one. Why is it that you seem to reject my presence? Unless, there's something you know," And with this, hollow green eyes turned to Nakoruru, who hadn't dared to look up in fear of being drawn in by the eyes of the devil, "That you shouldn't. Right, Nakoruru?"

A dark smirk came over him as he scoffed at her blatant refusal to look at him. Silence was the only thing that greeted him as he decided to end the conversation on a rather blunt note, " Ah, it looks like she's a bit shy today. Well what can you do, eh? Nakoruru, please be sure to take your time coming home - I highly encourage it."

He rudely began to walk away from the scene behind him, without so much as a parting gesture, not that it was wanted at that moment. Not expecting an answer from her, the mysterious man threw his hands back in a mocking fashion as he chuckled lightly to himself, slow steps haunting those who were left behind.

Haru continued to stare at the disappearing form as Momiji stared strangely at the girl held captive beside him.

He knew of the battle that raged within her, and it hurt that she felt as if she couldn't trust him.

"Kidemore. My fath...His name is Kidemore." Nakoruru added silently as Momiji looked at her, baby blues seemingly begging for unspoken forgiveness. She acknowledged him with a heavy heart as the guilt began to bitterly eat away at her trembling insides.

How could she say those horrible things to him, when all he wanted to do was help?

And just what kind of a monster had she become?

Trying to ignore the blinding pain that shot through her spine, she unsuccessly tried to walk toward the disturbed boy and cursed when she stumbled. Staggering forward, piece by piece, dragged foot by dragged foot, Nakoruru cried out as she felt her body give into the completely raw emotion that had threatened to burst. Strong arms held her shoulders up as she defeatedly leaned her forehead onto Haru's chest for support.

"Miji...Haru-san...I-" Holding her with his glare, the raven eerily calmed down as she looked into translucent, tempting grey eyes.

"...Eyes. Cherry, you have...beautiful eyes."

I..just want...you..to..

to...I...

...to be happy!!

"Happy! I just want you to be...happy..." Falling to her knees, Nakoruru closed her eyes in vain of keeping the tears from forming.

How pathetic.

How pathetic, Haru thought as he slowly stood in front of her. Leaning down to her level, pale hands gently grabbed shaking arms and moved them away from her face as he tried to take all of her in.

Empty reddened eyes, swollen lips...Never had he seen anything as attractive at the site before him. Lightly grabbing her chin, Haru tilted her head as the two were locked in a miserable battle of fate and redemption. Leaning in closer, he softly traced the outline of red lips with his finger as she trembled from the contact.

How pathetic.

And yet, so beautifully tragic, all at once.

...Lose control Cherry, for the sake of me, lose all control...

-ster."

"What?" Still grazing his finger over her mouth, Haru tried to make out the words she desperately tried to form. Sighing, the disheveled teen lightly pushed - or attempted to, at least- the concerned hand from her face as she tried to gather enough words to speak in her defeated state.

"I feel like a monster..." Haru gently knocking his forehead into hers - a way of showing that all was forgiven - as Momiji began to shyly advance towards the two huddled figures. Bending down, he hesitantly placed his palm on the top of her head as she looked up at him with tempting eyes.

"I'm not mad at you, Kiri...I could never be mad at you."

I never wanted this...

I never did.

"I love you, Kiri. I really do." And everything came rushing down. The shame, the memories - It didn't matter. And as they embraced her shaking figure, she continued to repeat the same words over and over.

The definition of a monster.

An extremely ugly, wicked, or cruel being. Something with no morality, or soul.

Monster...

Something that describes me.

I am a monster.

Beautiful, lovely, fair.

Things I can never be.

I am a monster, and that's all I will ever be.

"And so, she has nowhere to go." The boy finished as he emphasized each word carefully, making sure that his selfless plead was heard. The person being spoken to, amused at his desperate antics, was currently getting dressed. They had returned to the Sohma home, Hatori's to be exact. Glancing past the doorway, the girl in question was sitting quietly in the living room, hands folded politely as she began to ponder on the young Sohmas' motives of bringing her there. Shaking his head, dark locks falling into place, Hatori couldn't help but admit that he was a little impressed at how far the blonde boy would go for his friend.

But to ask for a place for her to stay among men? That was a bit extreme, disregarding Tohru's situation, of course.

Internally crossing his fingers, blue eyes brightened as the excited boy dramatically threw pale arms around the older man who gave up on trying to straighten his dark tie.

"Look, Momiji, I understand that Nakoruru can't go back there, but it truly isn't my place to interfere," Olive eyes disregarded the look of hurt that crossed the teen's face as he began to polish his shoes. "Only she can decide what to do next - The best I could do was bring her to the shelter, and we all saw how much of a disaster that proved to be."

"But Kiri-kun needs me - us." And with this, all previous traces of hope died in his now dull cerulean eyes. Turning away from Hatori, Momiji missed the sympathetic gaze sent his away as he defeatedly draged his feet, hanging his head in shame. Hatori watched him, olive orbs warming sincerely as he contemplated the idea of having a young teenage girl in a house filled with men. Hearing the boy's heavy footsteps die out, he sighed at the stressfulness of everything as he resumed what he had been doing - or at least tried to do - for the past 30 minutes.

The sound of a door slamming- his door slamming - caused the elder to close his eyes in annoyance as he tried to refrain himself from uncharacteristically exploding at the rude, new intruder who hadn't even had the decency to knock.

"Why can't she stay-"

"Alright! She can stay; I'll talk to her father. Just please give me privacy now, Haru!"

Exasperated, he tried hard not to simply scream as Haru shouted to Momiji that their plan had been a success; She could stay with them after all. After Haru politely closed the door behind him, but not before rubbing Hatori's shoulder in a gesture of thanks, Hatori began to massage his skull in thick circles. He willed the massive headache away, but to no avail.

"I swear those kids will be the death of me."

Her icy smile, which had such an uncertain melancholy edge to it, reveiled nothing of what her cold thoughts were. Yet, the sordid intent behind those passionate orbs caused the messenger of the supposed good news to involuntarily shiver inwardly.

Her smile...her hollow smile...Oh how it scared him...

And yet it drove him insane.

"...Haru-san, I'm grateful for everything the Sohma have done for me, I truly am. But you know that I can't accept your offer, don't you?" The blank look on his face caused the raven to shake her head and sigh. Haru had managed to remain calm and impassive as Nakoruru listed reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea to have her stay at Hatori's house, all of which made no sense to him whatsoever. The sound of pure passion in her voice kept his feet glued firmly to the ground, and was what stopped him from interrupting her rants. Removing metal-clad hands from his pockets as he watched the girl reveal almost nothing about how much she wanted to accept the offer - and he knew that she wanted to, Haru boldly tucked a stray strand of black hair behind her ear himself, deciding that it would no longer bother her that way. Content with this, the smirk that had been on his face during her whole speech widened as red cheeks grew dark. Her thoughts racing frantically, she tried to mask how flustered she had become from that small gesture, bidding her mouth to close.

"And," Moving his face closer to hers, "Why is that?" Squinting at how close his face was to hers, Nakoruru tried to put much needed distance between them, not liking the close proximity of his body. It was too...awkward; He didn't even know her!

Ignoring her, Haru placed a warm hand on her face, liking this new game of tease they were playing. But...

If he didn't mean any harm...then why was she turning pale? And why were her hands shaking?

He could've sworn that he could hear her heartbeat getting louder as he cupped her face, beginning to worry. Big mistake. Slapping his hand away, amethyst began to dialate as she began to vehemently put space between them, throwing anything and everything she could find. Nakoruru went on a rampage; Everything from books to erasers were thrown as she tried to keep the approaching boy away from her.

Haru grabbed small arms, noticing how extremely tense she had become from his touch, as he tried to stop her from destroying the rest of the room. Luckily for him, no one - meaning Hatori or Momiji - was around to witness this sudden act of passion. He hated how withdrawn she had become, all from him touching her face.

What was going on?

And there's something icy between us...Those memories...

I had tried so hard to forget.

Stammering back, Nakoruru hid her face behind dark bangs as she tried to force the memories that he had awakened back. Memories of her...her mother...and of him.

Claustrophobia...She was claustro...phobic-no!

"I...he...!" Breathe. She couldn't breathe. Something was holding her, forcing her to bend to its will. Something...Air - She needed air!

"Hey, Cherry, are you okay?" There it was again. That voice. That lying, demented, cruel voice that was her only source of comfort. Nakoruru tightened the hold she had on her head as she let out a bloodcurling scream. Growing even more worried, Haru almost didn't catch her as she fell, bracing her shoulders at arm's length.

"...A mystery..." Frowning, Haru ignored the questionable looks from Hatori who, after more interruptions by Shigure, opted to stay home. He prayed that he hadn't witnessed any of the sudden ordeal as he hastily walked up the stairs, not in the mood for questions.

"I won't ask," Was all he heard as he decided to get to the bottom of what tramatic memory had caused her to faint.

Placing her on his bed, he wiped away the beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead as he closed dirty eyes in fatigue. He couldn't put his finger on what had triggered her to react that way. All he had done was try to get closer to her, and received a mixed reaction in return. Sighing, he decided that her past would forever remain a mystery to him. After a few minutes of harsh breathing, her frantic movements began to calm down, until she was resting silently.

She was a ticking time bomb. Looking at her serene face as she lay there, Haru found himself reaching over to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. When he found that she didn't move from his gesture, he caringly ran pale fingers through soft hair.

Crazy...

But he decided that he found that a bit...alluring.

"-His obsession over his dead lover resulted in border-line necrophilia as he slept in her coffin with each passing day, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her lifeless body-" And the story ended abruptly. Not bothering to hide the smirk that had stretched into a full-fledged malicious grin, the man began to cruelly taunt the little girl whose small hands had a firm grasp on the blanket that was pulled over her face. The knuckles on her shaking hands were white - and she was scared.

She was so scared. She was only twelve - his stories always frightened her.

And he knew. It gave him a...thrill to know the power he had over the little girl.

A closet. She was in the dark closet, a place that scared her. Her lithe body wouldn't - couldn't stop trembling...It scared her so much. It was all for punishment for not coming home on time...for letting her mother leave...for letting her mother die.

His own daughter.

He locked his own daughter in the closet. And this time, she wasn't sure if she was coming out

"What is that?" Moving his feet, the daunting man scrunched his nose in disgust at the putrid smell that greeted him. Something wet...

"-Did you pee on yourself, you little brat?" Fisting her black hair in complete rage, murky eyes became shaded as Kidemore made sure she was at eye level with him, disregarding the look of complete fear on her bloodless face.

"I said," And he tightened his hold, "did you piss on yourself, you stupid little whore." When he was answered by nothing but silence, he gritted his teeth and slammed her into the back of the closet. The blanket long forgotten, he silenced her screames with a hard smack to her face.

"I-I'm sorry Dad-" Backhanding her with all the strength he had, the look on his face caused her screams to die out, blood trickling from her bruised lips. Throwing her to the ground after spitting on her, he gave her a look filled with icy hate. He turned from her, locking the door behind him.

"Stay there, and live in your piss."

Pulling shaking knees close, the girl closed tired eyes as tears would not fall. She no longer had any emotion - he had made sure of that. And the closet - it was much too dark and shallow. Twelve, she was only twelve.

"Welcome home, Nakoruru." Whispers. They meant nothing to her as she fisted the discarded stuffed bunny.

And darkness, she decided, was something she just couldn't stand.