'I love you!
I love you with a fever!
you and me,
To infinity and beyond.'
It was the last week of your senior year when you wrote that letter. You were 17 and naive. That was a long time ago, 15 years to be precise.
The world has gone to shit now. It belongs to the dead and the cruel.
So, to see him again, standing there, with a crossbow aimed at your head…
You suppose if anyone was able to survive this world, it will be him.
This story takes place around the beginning of season 3 and the year is 2013. This story also includes pre-apocalypse, where our characters meet in the late 90's. so there will be a lot of back-and-forth time jump. I will also do my best to break down the virus, which the creators of the walking dead haven't done. And I will be using some real science and medical terms.
Old love, you're breaking me up
Burn, burnin' like sun
I don't forget like an elephant
It's imprinted on my heart
I don't forget
The sun don't set for me
elephant by freya ridings
Chapter 1 - Miracle
When everything seemed dark, when all hope seemed lost, Rick prayed for a miracle.
Finding the prison has been that miracle.
Despite the fact it's only been a week since they took over the prison, things couldn't have gotten any better. (Knock on wood)
Now Rick needs one more miracle.
Rick stands in front of Hershel's cell.
Although, the weather was getting cooler outside, the prison cells feel stuffy. Cold metal bars, high ceiling, and cement walls with poor air ventilation, it isn't getting any better.
Hershel sits on his bunk bed. Simple things such as sitting or even adjusting on the bone-dry mattress has been difficult. Even now, he is looking at the paper in his hand, but his mind was far gone. After all, just a few days ago he lost his leg. Rick is afraid this will break him. The signs are starting to show already. Mentally, he hasn't been the same since that day.
Rick can't imagine what kind of bravery it must take. He must be in extreme physical pain too. They haven't been able to find proper pain meds outside of the few over the counter pills, and that isn't doing much for decapitated leg. He is a handicap now, and in the world they currently live in, it's a guaranteed death sentence.
Hershel tries to smile and comfort his daughters, though he's starting to feel like burden to them. his girls… girls, who would never leave their father behind- no matter the danger.
And then there is Lori's pregnancy.
Rick's current biggest obstacle.
Rick knows how he feels about that, but he's afraid to acknowledge it. Because acknowledgment means opening that can of worms, and he's not ready to deal with it at the moment.
One thing at a time, he tells himself.
His wife, or what's left of his wife… a shell of her former self, is in discomfort. It's that time of the pregnancy where everything hurts and decent asleep is a far way dream.
She is very close to her delivery. Seven months she had said… that's how far along she thinks she is, but Rick doubts the number. Lately the days are starting to blur.
Rick lets out a sigh
At least here at the prison, all hope for a safe delivery isn't completely lost.
"Here," Herschel finally speaks, bringing Rick out of his thoughts. Rick reaches out and accept the piece of paper from Herschel. There, in black and white, are list of medical terms rick doesn't understand. In fact, it might as well be a foreign language to him.
"I am not a real doctor, Rick, and at my current state I'm not sure how much use I can be." Hershel's voice shook. He is worried, and unsure if he is capable of delivering Lori's baby.
"I know, but you're the best we got. We'll figure something out when the time comes. We got a little bit of time." Rick says, putting his hand on his shoulder, comfortingly.
"It's all there. Try to get everything on that list if you can. All the antibiotics, pain meds, and glucose we might need." Herschel says as Rick slids the piece of paper in his breast pocket. "That's all I can think of."
"Will do our best."
The last pharmacy they hit was almost completely empty. But today, they are going to try to go out further, try their luck there. As he tries to stay optimistic, Rick can't stop the nagging thought, the doubts that he is going to be able to find anything on that list... let alone everything.
"I'm taking Glenn and Daryl."
Herschel nods, slowly moving to get up, reaching out for the makeshift crutches. Rick fights every instinct from moving forward and helping the older man. But no- he tells himself. He needs to feel independent.
Slowly - very slowly, the two of them walked out. Immediately, they are greeted by Beth and Maggie, who rushed to help their father.
"Good luck," was Herschel's last words.
When Rick got to the car, both Daryl and Glenn are already waiting, weapons in hand. He gives them a nod as he jumps in the driver seat. Glenn sits in the back and Daryl in the passenger seat.
As they move out of the prison gate, Rick looks up at the clear sunny sky. This would have been a beautiful day, if it wasn't for the crippling fear he felt.
He let out another sigh,
And wish for one more miracle.
They cleared out the few walkers lingering outside of the drugstore in a coordinated manner. But unfortunately, the first pharmacy they hit was a dud, almost completely empty except for a few random pills and creams.
They did not find a single item on the list. They didn't have much gas to waste, so after deciding, they picked the next pharmacy that was circled on the map.
The second pharmacy is in a small, dilapidated shopping center. It's located to the far side of the building. It was obvious it didn't have a lot of foot traffic even before the outbreak.
As they walk forward, Rick notice the area was quiet, a bit too quiet for his liking. They all suspiciously look around, completely alert to their surroundings.
It was Daryl that gives the signal for Rick to slow down. Daryl points to the ground where he sees footprints. Rick don't need to be told twice, and he quickly pulls his gun out. Followed by Glenn, who copies his moves.
The footprints on the dirt are fresh and straight, like proper steps... not like the way the walkers drag their body.
With the second signal, both Rick and Glenn move, pressing their body against the entrance of the pharmacy door, one on each side. Daryl slowly creeps and opens the door, body low to the ground, his crossbow aimed. Nowadays, threats don't only come in the forms of walkers. They must be ready for all possibilities.
Rick's first thought- the pharmacy was empty.
But as he listens, he could hear the distant noise of pills in a bottle. As if someone is picking it up, flipping it around and putting it back down.
Slowly they step in. Each moving not to make a sound.
The pharmacy is small, with the cashier desk facing the entrance. In the back, there are a couple of rows of shelves with all products stacked. Whoever the person is, they are standing behind one of the shelves, body hidden. As far as Rick can tell, the person is completely unaware of their arrival.
Rick moves quietly to the left with Glenn moving to the right, locking the person on both sides. Daryl slowly rises from where he is squatting behind the cashier desk. His crossbow aimed directly at the person.
"Put your hands up," Rick says, "and slowly step forward."
It was your idea to stop at the pharmacy. Lately, the drive has been long and bumpy. Most of the major roads being blocked by the dead or piles of abandoned cars.
You don't need any supplies this pharmacy can offer; you're fully stocked. But you convince the two men you're with for a quick stop. A bathroom break, you tell them. It is an excuse to stretch your legs… who knows what you might find.
Nowadays, medications can be used like currency. In Jacksonville, you were able to trade the pain pills you had for the sneaker you're currently wearing, finally losing the heels that were starting to cause you blisters. And if you could done it once, then you can do it again.
You hum a melody, a song long forgotten. With one hand you hold an open backpack and with the other you pick up bottles, reading labels after labels. It's important to stock up on things like asthma inhalers and pain meds, maybe some Insulin as well. These are good commodities with high values. There is a possibility you might trade these things for other goods such as food, or maybe even chocolate.
"Put your hands up and slowly step forward."
It's a man's voice followed by the cocking of a gun that cuts the silence in the room.
You freeze. Slowly your hands creeping to your waistband where you normally keep your gun- what- where was your gun? You must have left it in the car, only grabbing a knife.
You stand there not knowing how to respond. should you scream? But that might go completely wrong if your companions rush in for the rescue. Gently, you put the bottle and backpack down, and you slid out from behind the shelf, hands raised up.
The man facing you is dressed in a dirty khaki shirt and dark jeans, his gun pointed at your head. He has a full beard and curly hair that is pushed back from his face. He has dark circles under his eyes, making the blue of his eyes bright like Sapphires. There's a frown displayed on his face, like he wasn't expecting a woman.
He looks you up and down. From your dark hair to your cargo pants and your basic tee. You had a ruby color scarf wrapped around your face.
A few months ago, you started covering your face with a scarf whenever you left the safety of your vehicle. It only took few months after the outbreak, when the zombies started to smell like rotten flesh. It was difficult adjusting to the constant stench of decaying corpses that lingered everywhere.
"Easy Now… No need for that." You reason, keeping your voice calm. On the contrary, you are nervous. You don't know what kind of person you are up against, for all you know, they might be trigger happy.
"We don't wanna hurt you, but we will, if we have to," the man spoke.
We? We-
It is only then; you notice you are outnumbered and out gunned. There stood 3 men. One held a shotgun pointed at you, while the other a crossbow.
"I-" your hands felt clammy. The odds are on their side. You need to move smart. Before you can come up with a proper reply, one of the other men, the Asian one, speaks up.
"Are you alone?"
Your body immediately tense. You don't like where this was heading.
However, your thoughts are cut short when the storage room behind you is kicked open with a bang.
Your calvary have finally decide to show their face.
Behind you stood the two soldiers you are traveling with. Jaime and Charles, with their A.R. 15 aimed, dressed still in their full tactical gear.
This pharmacy once was a compounding apothecary, with a small storage room and mixing lab. The two men had moved to the back storage room deciding to check out the heavy stacked boxes.
The room immediately rupture in loud voices, everyone screaming at each other to drop their weapons. It is chaos, an absolute testosterone standoff, tension high.
"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" You scream, hands still up and stepping between the strangers and your soldiers.
The air felt hot and electric, any wrong move is going to set it off into a blaze.
"Wait please." You beg.
"There's no reason for that. Let's just talk about this. Please... it's not worth taking a life," you look towards Charlie. He is the most experienced and highest ranked from your small group. And he has taken the mantle of leadership.
No one moves, as the seconds ticked away, each group assessing the other. You look back-and-forth, keeping your eyes on everyone, moving from one individual to another.
Lies starts to pour from your mouth, anything to defuse the tension. "Look we mean no harm. we are just passing through, ok? We only stop by to look around for feminine products-"
Your brain short-circuits.
Your tongue feels heavy… words dying on your lips.
And just like that.
In that instant.
Gravity completely loses its force and the earth turns upside down.
You can't trust your eyes.
"Daryl," you breath…
That seems to be the key word, because you instantly have everyone's attention.
The man, Daryl, his eyes shift toward you instead of the soldiers that he has deemed a threat.
"How ya know my name?" He says the crossbow still held high. His voice is just as you remember it. Deep and made at the back of his throat. He looks older and his hair is longer. His face is covered in dirt and sun damage. But his eyes are clear and blue as a morning sky.
The last time you saw him, he was 18, and your eyes were filled with tears.
With a shaky hand, you slowly pull the scarf off your face.
"Daryl…" you whisper again, tremor running through your body. Your brain can't stop saying his name. You never thought you were going to see him again even before the pandemic, let alone after an apocalypse.
He looks at your face, really looks at it.
And you see...
You see the recognition as it clicks for him. his eyes go wide, shock clearly displaying on his face. His body immediately locking up. His mind demanding, he flees. But he just simply lowers his crossbow.
"Hi… Daryl. long time," smile lit your face, rush of happiness washing over you.
The rest of the men follow his directions and gradually lower their gun. Daryl's partner, the man with the beard, steps forward.
He looks back-and-forth between you and Daryl, trying to read the tension in his friend's body.
Daryl hasn't said a thing, except he continues to stare at you. There's a hovering moment, where you just hold an eye contact. Your heart is in your throat, your stomach feeling queasy. You plant your feet harder on the ground.
At this moment, you are17 again.
How long has it been? Almost 15 years...
"Y'all know each other?" The bearded man speaks and you pry your eyes away from Daryl.
"Yeah…" you clear your throat, "yeah, we do. We… we went to high school together." You try again, your voice sounding much better.
"I'm Alice by the way, Dr. Alice Hart. The two gentlemen behind me are Sergeant James, and staff Sergeant Charles." You reach your hand out.
"Howdy, gentlemen." Charles says with a nod.
"I'm Rick and that's Glenn. You already know Daryl." His callous hand grips yours, his handshake firm.
"We want no trouble. We are just here to get some stuff. We will be out of your hair in a jiffy." Rick says, pulling a folded piece of paper out of his chest pocket.
"Agreed, we want no trouble as well," says Charles, strapping his AR-15 over his shoulder as a peace offering. "Dr. Hart, grab what you need. We depart in 5." You nod your head. Your eyes shifting to Daryl, who has taken up a post guarding the door.
As you pick up your discarded backpack and gather yourself. Your eyes move to Rick. He stood in-between the shelves, and there is a pinch between his eyebrows as he looks at the paper.
As another peace offering, you extend your help. "I'm a doctor, Rick… is there anything I can help you with?" you ask. For the first time in a long time, it feels weird saying your title. Does it even matter anymore?
Rick looks up from the piece of paper, almost surprised. He seems uncertain on how to reply, his body language screaming he wants to accept the help. You take pity on him and step forward. There is a pause before he respond.
"Actually, yes… my wife.. she.. she is pregnant and due soon." He hands you the piece of paper "I need to get the stuff listed there."
You read down the list. There are a few pain meds, antibiotics and glucose listed.
"Hmm, all looks good, except I would change a few things here if she was my patient." You state unsure if you are stepping on anyone's toes.
"These Morphine pills could work and are usually used in the early stages of labor, but If used too close to delivery, it can cause temporary breathing and heart rate problems in your baby after birth." Rick just stares, worry etched between his brows.
"This one here could make the mother sleepy and nauseous, might not be best for home delivery," you point to the 3rd item on the list, "I would swap it for Misoprostol, it will help induce labor."
"Our doctor... he's a vet," is his answer.
"Ah I see. In that case, I'll make the necessary changes and get you want you need." You say moving towards the shelf, pulling bottles and reading labels, handing him only the necessary items.
"Not all the antibiotics you need are available, but this will do." The mother-to-be is going to need something easy on her stomach.
"I have few glucose drip and pain pills I was saving. That's the only thing I can think of that won't be too harsh on her post-delivery. It's in our car, you're welcome to have it." It was one of the items you nicked at the last pharmacy a few days ago. You remember Jamie complaining about all the 'junk' you're collecting.
Rick nods "that's very kind of you," as he follows you to the second aisle.
"These are all Prenatal vitamins." Its the one item that hasn't been touched, not apocalypse essential you guess.
"Proper nutrition must be difficult to come by, so make sure she doubles the dose on these." He accepts all the bottles you are handing him, putting them in a satchel he brought.
"Thank you, really, thank you." He is sincere.
"It's no trouble." Picking up your discarded backpack again, you move toward the door. Daryl is leaning against the door as he looked out. When you walk pass him, he stiffens like a board.
You are quickly followed by the soldiers and Ricks group. Charles, who was hovering nearby had heard your conversation with Rick, so with a stern look on his face leads the group back towards the RV hidden in the trees.
Glenn and Daryl swiftly handle the handful of walkers that are drifting from the east side.
"This is us," you tell Rick.
It was an old ugly RV you guys found during the chaotic stage of the outbreak. It had solar panels, and it was pretty good on gas. Jamie and Charles move around the car, doing the regular check-ups, making sure the vehicle hasn't been tampered with.
"Wait here, please." You tell Rick as you go inside to get the IV drop you promised. it doesn't take long before you return with two plastic bags full of liquid, tubes and syringes included in the packaging.
"She may have cramps for a few days after delivering, give her this." You hand two generic boxes of ibuprofen. "That should get you set."
He holds his satchel open and you place the items gently.
"Thank you again," his smile is warm and infectious. You smile back nodding.
"Good luck Rick. And don't worry, everything will be ok. Congratulations on the baby."
"Thank you." He shallows a lump in his throat.
At that moment, it seems like a conclusion.
Your eyes search again, locating Daryl. You wish to talk to him. There is so much you wanted to say. This time, it might truly be the last.
But he hasn't said a single word to you… and you can't help by be brought back to how things ended. You know he recognized you, but he has shut down. He absolutely isn't going to say anything.
Perhaps for him- That bridge was burned a long time ago after all.
Rick still hasn't moved.
"Come with us." He says out of nowhere, bringing you back to reality. He said it so optimistically, like it's the most brilliant idea. Rick slowly reaches out, engulfing your small hand in both of his.
"We have a group and a place…a safe place. A place that has a real potential. We have food and hot water. And we could really use you, all of you." He says looking around, acknowledging the men as well. "Your skill set are very important. The only way we can all survive is if we stick together."
As Rick continues to hold your hand, your eyes move to Daryl again, holding an eye contact. Deep down, you know you wanted to reach out to Daryl.
Old habit dies hard.
Rick follows your eyesight, looking back and forth, waiting for some type of answer. You sigh, with a sad smile.
"Thank you for the offer, Rick, it's really kind of you. But we can't. We are heading to DC."
Rick is desperate, "please!"
His eyes, you've never seen a man this anguished.
"The world is gone. I was a sheriff before all this, so I understand why you would think Dc is the answer. But I don't think you're gonna find what you're looking for." He steps forward, closing the gaps.
"Safety is our best chance now, and there is safety in numbers. Please, we could really use a doctor right now. Please. For the baby!" You don't have the heart to say no, so you look towards Charles. Jamie normally follows wherever you decide to head anyways.
"I am sorry, Rick, but DC is not an option. Dr. Hart was doing research on the zombie virus, before our military base got overrun. We must head towards DC. The last message we received stated they were moving underground." Charles replies firmly.
Rick softly releases your hand and turns toward your group leader. "When was that, months ago? Things could change. Things HAVE changed. We both know ain't nothing there."
"We must try, for everyone's sake."
"You're moving across multiple state-line completely blind. Danger is everywhere, supplies are short to come by. Are you really willing to risk your life as well as hers on a very slim chance maybe there's something there?"
"There is nothing here for us, Rick."
"But there could be!" Rick sighs hands fisting his hair. "How about you just stay for a few months. Let the winter pass. It will be snowing and unsafe to drive soon. So, what do you say? What's another few months? My baby will be born by then, and my wife will have a doctor. It's a win win."
There was a pause. You could tell Charles is considering the idea. He looks toward Jamie, who gives him a nod in reply.
"Let's discuss it in private and will get back to you." Staff Sergeant Charles was an intimidating man. He was in his mid-40s with a dash of salt and pepper hair, cut in the signature military buzz. You heard he was a jovial man before his ex-wife, now he had a permanent frown printed across his face. He had a deep commanding voice, he often used for his advantage. Although, he stood 5'10, his presence was a total force.
Jamie on the other hand was a complete opposite. He was a 26-year-old black man with a baby face that made him look even younger. He was tall, lean, with big brown eyes and the prettiest teeth you have ever seen.
"Ok…yeah, discuss it, we'll be here," Rick says Stepping back and moving toward his crew.
You follow Jamie and Charles into the RV.
"What do you guys think?" You speak first.
"We could use a base to settle somewhere for the winter. Gather supplies. We are also running low on ammos." Charles pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. "My assumption is all major roads will be closed or blocked. So, we need to figure out an alternate route. The way we're moving, it's taking too long. I'll say we stay until March, that should put us at the beginning of spring, we can head out then." Charles says.
"But can we trust them?" Jamie asks looking between the two of you.
"I think so," You reply. "They seem genuine. I can also vouch for Daryl. I say we should stay as well."
"Ok, I vote yes as well. Besides, they are desperate for a doctor, so the ball is in our court." Jamie says.
The Moment the doctor and her soldiers step in the RV, Rick turns to Daryl. "You have to convince her," he says desperately.
"Whatcha wa me to do man?"
"I don't know but do something. She keeps lookin at you. Whatever your history is with her, I need you to get over it, brother. Please, just ask her to stay."
"Ya don't know jack shit man. I ain't seen her in 15 years. It ain't up to me."
Rick grabs his hair in frustration and backs away. Daryl isn't having it. Rick's mind briefly goes to the possibility- maybe he can force them. Put a gun to her head, and just take her. But the men are well armed, and a shootout with soldiers isn't something he wants to test. He has this visceral feeling though, like this is that miracle he prayed for. He could feel it. She is the miracle he asked for.
He shakes his head, as if to clear his thoughts. Maybe he's losing it, the stress getting to him.
But to gain a doctor, and two military trained soldiers, it could be a big win for the group.
It don't take long before the RV door opens.
It's Charles that stepped forward meeting Rick halfway. "We have decided to stay with you until the winter passes." The smile that broke out on Rick's face is brighter than a dying star. You can see it now, the kind of man Rick may have been before the outbreak.
"But," Charles cuts in, "before we head anywhere with you, we want to know where you guys are staying."
Rick hesitates and looks back at his teammates before indulging the information. He knows this is about extending trust. He decides to take it as a sign.
"It's a prison, about 7 miles east," he murmurs. You and the soldiers look at each other before nodding. This could work. Shelter and protection. Better than you could hope for.
"Yeah, that will do," you say.
The relief Rick feels at that moment is unimaginable. He smiles before stepping forward and engulfing you in a hug.
You laugh as you pet his back.
"Thank you, thank you! you have no idea what this means for us." Rick speaks excitedly. "Let's get going before it gets too dark." He doesn't want to wait any longer, doesn't want to give them a second to reconsider. Everyone nods in agreement.
As the RV followed Ricks truck, you couldn't help but to let your fingers glide across your wrist, feeling the tattoo,
To infinity and beyond.
That tattoo, you knew every line by heart.
Who would have thought…