Beautiful People

Chapter 3: His Sasuke

Beta: Still searching.

….

Dear Sakura,

I'm pretty pissed right now. Yesterday after I finished talking to you I almost cried myself to sleep because I was confused. Is this good? Is this a good feeling? Should I be satisfied by the fact that something is happening? Or should I be scared? I'm crying, but I don't feel beautiful. In fact, every morning I wake up, I look worse and worse, and it's driving me crazy. I only go outside in the evenings now, and I've stopped taking missions. I know its bothering Sakura and Ino, but I can't help it, I'm not ready. I can't do anything. Just like the way everyone sees me. But today was even worse, and I'll tell you why in two words: Uchiha. Sasuke.

So here I was this evening, only hours ago, and I was by the training area, sitting out on the grass, thinking about…everything. Nothing. I can't remember all those details, but I know that I was out there pretty late because the sun was near setting when I saw Sasuke strolling by over the bridge, watching the sunset the way I was. And then I thought, 'why is he out here all by himself when he has Naruto?' Selfish to say that? Maybe. I'm starting to realize I'm more spiteful than people give me credit for…

But anyway, so I just enjoying the sweet breeze, trying to ignore my thoughts for a little bit of sanity when he looks at me. He already knew I was here before I did. So what's the best reaction to a situation like this? Run.

And run I did.


My feet were pounding against the grassy plains as I struggled myself up the steep hill, where solid ground awaited me. I figured that if I could reach the main street and kept running, Sasuke would have to give up sometimes because people would stare. I thought I could get away.

But I was wrong.

"Where do you think you're running off to?" He sneered from behind me and yanked on my wrist, flinging me around to face him. He looked angry, but I didn't care, all I wanted was to go home. I didn't want to face him.

"I didn't get a chance to really talk to you yesterday," he drawls on, ignoring my piercing glares as he talks about our breakfast incident. "Naruto always gets really happy whenever he sees you for some reason."

I paused, and my anger dissipated. "He…he does?"

Sasuke shrugged and released my wrist, watching me rub it sorely in pain. "He talks about you all the time…" There was something faraway in Sasuke's eyes, like he was reminiscing on something as we spoke. It gave me a chance to actually look at Sasuke. He really was beautiful. Onyx eyes, pale skin, and inky black hair. A plump round face, no blemishes, and no marks. Perfection.

Perfection.

"There's something going on between you two."

"Huh?" It was one of those responses where you hear someone very well, you just don't know how to answer, but you feel like you have to say something.

"There's something going on between you two." He repeats slowly, like I'm being an idiot, and it peeves me off.

'There was,' I thought dimly. Sasuke sneers at me, as if I were hiding something from him. It's a shame all the beauty was contradicting itself with all that anger on his face.

I understand now Sakura that Sasuke was only distrusting of me because of his relationship between him and Naruto.

And he has every right to be.

And while it did thrill me that I was actually a threat to Sasuke, it made me scared that I was all alone with someone who hates my guts in a setting sun on an empty training field. I was scared.

Not because of what could have happened, but more about what had already happened, between Naruto and I.


"Tell me what's been going on between you two; you're hiding something from me, aren't you?" It wasn't a question. He had already restrained both my hands should I decide to run away again, and it was clear he wasn't going to let me leave until I gave him a sufficient enough answer.

I blinked slowly. "There's nothing going on. And even if there was, why wouldn't you just ask Naruto yourself?"

He growled at me, shaking my hands along as he ranted and raved. "That's none of your business why, just answer the question! I know you have been lying to me, acting all innocent when all you've been planning to do is steal him away right? Right!?"

My eyes started to water. He was scaring me. "No…no, that's not…"

"Yes it is! You're just jealous! You've always been jealous that you can't be me and its killing you isn't it? You're just some lonely, pathetic girl who can't get over some stupid crush! Why can't you get it through your head that no one wants you, especially not Naruto. And why would he? You're lanky, shy, and stupid, with an ugly haircut to boot. You jealous bitch." He finished with a shove, and I plopped right onto the ground hard, my butt was already beginning to ache. I didn't reply yet, only brought my limbs closer to me and started sniffling. The sun was dimming now, and I couldn't see his face anymore.

He snorted and looked down on me as if I were trash. "You can't even say anything? You're just going to cry?"

"N-no…" My voice was cracking, I was betraying myself. I felt foolish. He was probably right; I was in the way of their relationship and probably causing Sasuke a lot of misguided pain. Naruto didn't want to talk about me because I was ugly, wasn't it? Too ugly and too much of a burden to be brought up as someone Naruto at one point thought was very important. I couldn't hold that title anymore, as bad as I wanted to.

I thought about Sakura then. The real Sakura. I wonder if she felt just like I did, real stupid and pathetic for trying to get in the way of something that was bound to happen, because of foolish feelings and emotions.

The truth is, I'm not his anymore. As much as I would like to believe in my wildest imagination, I'm not. I'm not his.

Sasuke is.

And nothing going to change it, no matter how beautiful I try to become, or how ugly I try to make Sasuke seem, it's not changing.

Oh…Sakura, it hurts. It hurts real bad.


Sasuke stopped talking, he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his back to me, walking away calmly and swiftly, trying to get as far away from me as possible. My cheeks were wet; I was already crying despite that I tried so hard not to. My feelings were hurt. I was hurt and confused. How could somebody who looked so nice and beautiful, be so mean and unkind? How can Naruto have fallen in love with that? Did he only love what Sasuke looked like?

Just how deep can beauty go for a person? For Naruto?

And why is it that even though I'm on the other end, lying star-struck in a field of grass, crying my eyes out, that I'm still alone?

If beauty's only skin deep, does mine stop here?

"You're not beautiful!" I cried out at his retreating figure. "There is nothing beautiful about you!"

And then I went home. I cried before I started writing to you, and now I'm crying again. It hurts really bad, being in second place compared to that.

If I could decide, I would say that Sasuke was the ugly one. Not me.

But Sasuke has Naruto. So how ugly can he really be?

And how destroyed is my concept of beauty if I can sit here and think that I'm the most beautiful person I've met, and still be alone? Why am I still alone?

It's because I'm not beautiful. Not inwardly, and certainly not outwardly.

I'm not beautiful at all. I'm not beautiful because I'm alone. And you're only as beautiful as people see you.

And who will see me if I'm all alone?

Hinata


I'm not going to say much just that this chapter was actually +2500 words but I cut a lot out so I wouldn't overwhelm you with too many of Hinata's rhetorical questions. It gives you a lot to think about huh? Any questions, comments, or thoughts, please review.

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