Beautiful People

Chapter 6: And Neji Who Belongs to Something Higher.

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

….

The next morning was a blur. I did everything I was supposed to, paid everyone their respect in the house, and tucked away my journal once I was completely assured Neji wouldn't look for it in that place. It wasn't as if I didn't trust him, heck, he was the only person in this entire city I trust (besides Sakura) nowadays. But something part of me warned that even if I trusted them, no one should ever touch the journal besides me. It was part of me now, and every time I looked at it, I feel like it was looking right back at me. The mirror I was afraid to hold up to myself.

Once I started thinking though, just sitting on my bed and staring, I remembered that Neji wasn't going to come to my room and that I was supposed to meet him, from what I could remember from yesterday.

'The Hokage Tower. Three o' clock.'

Well, crap. My clock read 3:30.

I bolted as fast as I could, ran out of my home and into the heart of Konoha. Left, right. Then another left. Two rights. Then I figured if I dived into this alleyway, I could reach the Hokage Tower quickly. I did. As soon as I was out, I saw him. He was sitting in front of the building, staring at something that wasn't there. The wind was blowing, his hair was tied loosely, and strands flew freely around his face, and there was the same word that crossed my mind, yet again.

It took my awhile before I moved again; I snapped a twig and caught his attention. He didn't jump or flinch, and I thought for a moment that maybe he already knew I was watching him in the shadows. He patted the seat beside him. I sat down and stared at our surroundings. There wasn't much to see, a few trees, an empty street, some civilians. We didn't talk at first.

"You've been avoiding me."

"No," I answered quickly; it was the truth.

He didn't immediately ask another question. The wind picked up again behind us, and this time my hair fluttered along with his. I felt at peace, I felt good. We sit in silence, and I was looking up at the afternoon sun when he spoke again.

"Have you eaten yet?" he said to me. I shook my head negatively. He pulled out the wrapped bentos that lay beside his feet, and I think he almost smiled at me.

"Let's go eat then."

We moved to the grassier part of Konoha, full of the calm elderly citizens of Konoha. There was a park nearby, full of bustling children, but Neji managed to find us a place where we could eat in peace and I wondered if he had memorized where to go before we even did this. We didn't talk as we ate, and I was surprised how good the food was Neji prepared. The silence was welcome and comfortable. I began to feel awkward when Neji finished before me; he seemed perfectly content sitting and staring off into the distance, but I couldn't help to think that he was waiting for me to finish before he said anything.

I was right.

As soon as I put down the bento he made, Neji started with his questions.

"Why didn't you come home yesterday?"

Simple question, I had my answer. "I was at Sakura's house. We were just hanging out and before I knew it, it was too late and I slept over." He nodded.

"Then why'd you come home yesterday afternoon?"

My hands curled into fists. Yes, I still remembered Ino and her attempt at ruining my life, but I wasn't ready to openly talk about it.

So I stayed with a safe answer. "I…well, Ino came over and…"

"Ah," he murmured. When the wind picked up and began rustling the trees and making the birds sing with displeasure, pushed his hair back.

I sighed and leaned my back against the tree we sat under. Although I had a feeling that Neji was only getting started with his questions and ideas, I couldn't help but feel relaxed around him. What my cousin probably didn't know about me is that not only do I respect him; I also need him around me. Things wouldn't be right if he weren't in the house, and just with him offering to give me advice and comfort were enough to keep the shreds of sanity I now cling to in desperation.

"How are Sakura and Ino?" he asked me.

"They are doing fine."

"Hm." He placed his hands on his lap. "And what about you, Hinata. Are you doing fine?"

I opened my mouth, but he stopped me. His eyes were trained on the ground as he spoke. "Honestly. Are you really okay?"

He made me take my time answering this one. "I've...I've been better." I had to smile despite myself; I didn't want him to believe that I wasn't okay. I was okay, just not in the way I should be.

"When will you decide to tell me about it?" He still wasn't looking at me.

"I---"

"Why do you insist on keeping things from me?" There was a tinge of anger to his voice, but I would not blame him.

He must be frustrated, all those times I've neglected to talk to him, ignored him as if he were unavailable to me, and shut myself in a hole I could've easily dug myself out of. And then I felt guilty, when I didn't want to be. He always had a way of manipulating my emotions, bringing out the things I wanted to ignore, in the least amount of words.

There wasn't much of a reply that I could give to him anymore. I looked around. The children were a far distance off, playing in the grass with giggles and laughter. There were couples who sat and relaxed in each others company. I watched as a girl held out her lap for her boyfriend, who reluctantly rested his head on her lap.

I smiled and brushed away the crumbs from my own lap, and looked at Neji. "Here."

He looked down, and then up at me again with a humorous look on his face. "Here, what?"

"My lap, come and lay." I smiled. He didn't.

"If I do, will you tell me?" I nodded. He still looked reluctant, but I knew he'd comply, and he did. Before I realized, his head was on my lap, and his eyes had closed. All of a sudden I could watch his chest rise and fall. I could feel his heartbeat, and it brought back memories of a time when I'd done this…

But in order to tell him, I had to push that though away. I told him everything, I told him about my encounter with Naruto and Sasuke, my encounter with Sasuke in a less friendly way, to the comfortable evening with Sakura, and the harsh reality wake up from Ino. Somehow, I was able to carefully tread around the information about the journal, but there wasn't much you could keep from Neji.

"You're keeping a journal now…because of Sakura, am I right?"

"…Y-yes."

His eyes weren't open, but I wish they were, so I could stare at eyes that looked like mine. "In this journal," he continued, "what is it helping you with?"

I decided to be honest with him. "I hope to find out the meaning of beauty again. I've lost my way."

It hurt to be this honest.

"The meaning of beauty…" he murmured. While he thought to himself, I allowed myself to stroke the ends of his chocolate-colored hair that had spilled over my lap. Truly, I knew such beautiful people. My hair touching became a little bolder as I drifted off into thinking, but Neji didn't oppose to it as he usually would, and he was very touchy about his hair.

"Would you like to hear what I think?" he asked.

I nodded eagerly. "Very much so."

"I think…beauty is not something that can be easily defined. The mind can manipulate the idea of beauty, something that is constantly changing, based on looks or personality."

He opened his eyes and looked back into mine. It was the first time I've seen something like me in a long time.

"Beauty is in spirit."

I didn't understand, so I told him that.

"Have you ever felt that, when you look at a person, sometimes you see right past how they look, because you've already been subjected to that idea of that beauty? And then you don't focus on their personality anymore, because you've resolved to accept both pros and cons of them, and your idea of beauty no longer fits that description. And so you are finally able to look into that person's soul and you see something so… overwhelming."

His eyes had fluttered shut again, and a wind began to dance around us. I was caught between his words, because I was imagining everyone I knew, and how I wasn't yet able to tell if they were beautiful, I could not yet see that deeply. I couldn't see as deep as he could.

"Souls have no look, no personality. No positive, no negative, nothing to compensate with. They just are. You see them, and they will tell you if they are beautiful or not. And then you'll never have to judge it yourself, because beauty was not meant to be judged, it was meant to be."

I didn't say anything. My eyes were watering with tears, because although I couldn't say if I agreed or not, a big part of me wanted to say yes, say 'yes Neji, this is what I'm looking for.' But I couldn't.

Because I still don't know what I'm looking for.

I waited until the thought of crying passed over me before I considered opening my mouth to speak.

"Neji, I--"

"Hina-chan? Neji?" Again, my thoughts were interrupted. But by a person I no longer wanted to see. I turned slowly; Neji removed his head from my lap. We stared blankly, openly, and in my case, mouth agape.

There was Naruto, in all of his calm glory. He was in the park as well, but on the path walk, and probably only walking through. This was coincidence.

"I, uh, hi. I didn't think I'd see you guys here."

I was still speechless. Neji wasn't. "Hello, Naruto-kun."

But Naruto wasn't looking at Neji, he was looking at me, and I could tell he was nervous, by that anxious smile on his face, and the way he kept shifting from foot to foot, the lack of speech was unnerving him. So I gave a smile as real as I could.

"Hey, Naruto…kun. How are you?"

"Oh me? I'm doing great, just getting some fresh air. I've actually been looking for you, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while and I just wanted to say that--"

"Naruto-kun, as you can already see, Hinata and I were busy," Neji cut Naruto off sharply. His eyes spoke of cold and anger.

Naruto looked ready to respond, but relented. "Ah, you're right. Sorry, I guess this is a bad time. I still want to talk though. Meet me in two days." He had started walking away once Neji stood. "At Ichiraku!"

And then as soon as he had come, he was gone. I forgot to speak, so I must've looked dumb as I stared upwards at a towering Neji. He chuckled. "Your foolish affections." He held come his hand.

I took it. "I suppose you could say that. I just…oh, Neji, your hair." I pointed to it. It had finally come loose from the band that kept it neat and swung freely on his back and shoulders. He shrugged.

"I'm in a good mood today. Now," he said, smiled at me. "Shall we return home?"

"Yes." I smiled back. The sun was finally beginning to set. "Let's go home."

We arrived at the front gate of the Hyuuga Estate, but there was another person to meet us. This one I was more aware of.

It was Kiba, my teammate and friend. It had been a while since I've spoken to him too, I suppose. I looked to Neji who pointed at the door.

"I'll be inside, make it quick." And then he left us to our privacy.

Kiba stood, hands clenched together, he didn't immediately start talking, so I did.

"If this is about my disappearance, I apologize. I'll be in soon tomorrow, I promise."

He shook his head. "No, it isn't about that."

I opened my mouth, but he stopped me. "I heard about everything from Ino. Sasuke's a real jerk for doing that, I hope you know. I'm on your side Hinata."

I smiled. "Thank you, Kiba-kun."

He started blushing, and his eyes dropped down to the ground for a moment, and then I knew why he came. "I just…I know things have been rough for you, for me too. You've lost the people you leaned on."

Have I? Have I lost the people I once leaned on?

"I want to be there for you."

No, you don't. I'm more trouble than you could ever imagine.

"I want to be that person for you, Hinata. Let me treat you the way you should be treated." He took a step forward, and I took one back.

"N-No…No, Kiba…you don't want me." I shook my head and began to brush off his comments, fighting hard within myself to not let me emotions become involved.

I opened up the gate, and stepped inside. He didn't move.

"I like you, Hinata. I can't just ignore that. I want to show you that, meet me at the Konoha Gardens, two days from now, and I'll show you."

Two days…

"I won't give up, Hinata," he called after me as I closed the gate behind me and began walking off.

Yes you will, Kiba-kun. They all do.


Dear Sakura,

I don't know what to say right now. I'm in my room, I'm tired, and my head is swimming. I've spent the day with Neji, and he told me a little bit about his idea of beauty. It was so nice to spend time with him out in the park. Just him and I. To listen to his idea…well, it's been awhile since I've done that, hasn't it?

He tells me beauty comes from the soul, but I cannot pierce any soul. My eyes, my eyes that can see through a human, cannot see through a soul. How ironic, huh?

Then we see Naruto. Naruto…who says he wants to see me…who tells me to meet him at Ichiraku in two days time. I don't understand him. He avoids me, and now he expects me to follow him anywhere. I want to be mad, but we both knew I wouldn't be. He was too sincere, and I want to follow him…I still want to follow him anywhere…

And then there's Kiba. Sweet, innocent, Kiba, who was just as sincere. He claims he will capture my heart, yet I don't know if I can give him one.

I don't know where mine is.

I'm so confused! I'm so lost…I'm so torn…

I don't understand, and I have a very bad feeling I'm going to be used…

Hinata

Don't wanna ruin the ending. 'Please review,' in my quiet whisper. xD

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