Beautiful People

Chapter 9: Are You Mine, Sakura?

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

….

A/N: This chapter happens to be a bit AU, I didn't intend for it, but since I added a gun to it, it just happened. Don't mind it.

Okay, so maybe escaping from my warm bed in the middle of the night in order to find some condolence during what in my opinion in the biggest thunderstorm Konoha had ever experienced might not be the best idea.

But what was wrong with just crawling in Neji's bed for the night? He'd probably baby me the same, too. But then I had already answered my question. I didn't want to be babied, I just wanted a friend, and maybe what Neji was wasn't what I was looking for in a friend.

Maybe that was just my problem, and it didn't matter anyway, I was already at her front door knocking like there was a monster behind me.

Oh, yeah. The key.

I remembered. As I fumbled with it being tucked deep inside my shirt, connected to a necklace I always wore with me now, I remembered how I got the key in the first place.

My chest hurt, I was probably running around in circles at this rate; my ankle was broken and judging by the pain a few of my ribs were broken, but my fingers were clenched tightly around the very thing I was getting beaten for, and I refused to let go. No, I wouldn't let go, not for these liars. I was doing this for Naruto.

"Get back here you bitch, there's nowhere else to hide!" Voices behind me, they were getting closer. Shoot, they were right. Where else could I go?

I was panting; I looked around, and recognized my surroundings. I was near Sakura's home. If I could get there, she could save me!

Oh man, I think I was bleeding all over the ground and I prayed my feet wouldn't give in just yet, I have to make to Sakura's house first. "You bastards, you're not getting anything until you pay me first!" I shouted without turning around and dived into an alleyway, the shortcut I knew that would put me just inches away from her doorstep. But I knew they were following me, and closing in.

I hopped the fence and tread silently through the grassy lawn, and unto her porch. One knock.

"Sakura, open up, its Hinata. Hurry!"

Nothing. I was getting frustrated. Two knocks, harder. "SAKURA, IT'S HINATA, PLEASE!"

My voice was giving away where I was. They shouted for me, and I started crying out of fear and in my own disbelief I can't believe it took me this long to start fearing the very thing I was getting myself in to.

I was banging frantically now, shouting (and) screaming. "Sakura, Sakura please, help me! Sakura!"

Then the door opened, she pulled me in. But it was almost too late, the men behind me had caught up to me, and one of them was able to grab at my shirt to pull me away. With a yank, I was thrown inside and splashed blood all over her carpet.

My eyes were swimming, but I could still see the men trying to push their way into Sakura's house, and how she, barely clothed in the tiniest nightgown, fended three men off. One of them pulled a knife and slashed her arm. She yelled and fired.

"S-Sakura!" I screamed, fearing that she had been shot, but she wasn't, the man who knifed her now held his chest in pain and the other two men backed away from her. She held her gun out in front of her, unmoving, daring them to take another step.

They retreated. "This isn't over; you tell Naruto this isn't over!"

"Fuck you!" Sakura snarled and slammed the door behind her. She immediately dropped the gun and scrambled me into her arms, and even though it hurt so badly and I was so ashamed to be marring her nightgown because I knew how much it had cost her, I was thankful at the same time.

She was crying. I was crying. But she shouldn't be crying, and I made her cry. "S-Sakura…"

"Why? Why do you let him do this to you?"

I bowed my head. "It wasn't supposed to happen this way; Naruto had a mission to do so I said I could help him…"

"Help him?" She spat. "Is this what you call help? Crying on my floor in a pool of your own blood in the middle of the night?"

"I know, I'm sorry Sakura," I cried.

She was fighting not to cry too. "No more," she begged. "This has to stop, Hina-chan. I can't do this anymore, I-I shot someone…"

She was right. We couldn't do this anymore. "I know, it's enough. I'm done with this, I promise."

Sakura smiled despite herself and took a necklace off of her, and put it over my head. I frowned. "What---?"

"Key to my house. If I hadn't come sooner you could've been dead. Let's make sure that doesn't happen next time," she said. I stared down at it with fuzzy vision.

"There won't be a next time." I assured her and she chuckled through her tears.

"Mm. L-Let's clean you up now."

Only thing is, I lied. That wasn't the last time, was it?

I was inside, shivering. I stood, waited and watched as her bedroom light flicked on, she scrambled to clothe herself and climbed down the stairs in pink fuzzy slippers. She wasn't even surprised to see me completely soaked and shivering. I told her that.

"I've seen you in worse condition," she pointed out and embraced me anyway, and I found out how cold I was really was.

She tightened her hold. "You used the key, didn't you?"

"Mm."

"You remember when I gave you that key?"

I attempted to laugh. "You're too late, I already had the flashback." She released me with a pout.

"Tired, aren't you?"

I nodded. Sakura sighed and looped an arm around my waist, pulling me upstairs. "Then let's get you undressed, and under some sheets before you catch a cold. Whatever it is I'm sure you can tell me in the morning."

My god, this is why I needed her so much. This might be the only time I truly smiled in such a long time.

"So, you went to see Naruto, but he was with Sasuke, and since you couldn't take having to face them both together, you hid behind a cart for what could have been hours on end, only to realize that Sasuke knew you were there the whole time?" Sakura reasoned.

I nodded and then winced. The way she said it made it seem so terribly awful and embarrassing.

And…her barking laughter didn't make it any less unbearable for me.

"Shut up, already!" I whined and shoveled another spoonful of ice cream down. Ice cream for breakfast was one of the best ideas Sakura's come up with for a long time.

She was coughing and spluttering for a while. "Sorry, sorry. It's just…so weird. I mean, why did you come to see me, wouldn't Neji have sufficed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Neji's not…what I was looking for." She nodded.

"I get it, I get it. I mean, Neji's not exactly my first choice in things like comfort either, but he's like me too. I mean, we both just want you to be happy."

She did have a point. But something like this, it just…I don't want to drag anyone else in it, and since Sakura's been waist-deep in my issues for such a long time, to me it just makes sense to do it this way. Maybe I'm just making it too complicated.

Sakura grumbled when she ate, she always does, and it was distracting my inner thoughts. "So, yeah, that's why I came."

"You mean, that's why you came in the middle of the night," she remarked while scraping the last bits of ice cream stuck to the walls of the container we shared.

I snorted despite myself. "Yeah, that's why."

"And do you feel any better?"

Did I feel any better? Do I feel any better?

The words were coagulating in my throat. "N-…well, yea-, um… I don't…know really."

She raised an eyebrow and leaned back in the couch. "What do you know? What were you expecting when you decided to come here?"

Too many questions.

"I dunno, I mean, while I was going over the day in that journal, I just felt so exposed and humiliated, I mean, it was bad enough that I completely left Kiba so that I could talk to Naruto, but he was already with Sasuke. Sometimes I forget that, and maybe I'm still being dumb. I'm not afraid of Sasuke…"

That's right. I'm not afraid of Sasuke.

"Oh?" Sakura remarked absently, trying to look as unamused as she could. What a bad liar I was.

But I kept going anyway. "No, I'm afraid, of what he thinks of me."

"Hmm. Sounds like you didn't need me after all."

It was almost funny, except, I just didn't feel like laughing. I shrugged, unwilling to say how much I really did need Sakura, and at the same time deathly afraid of maybe I was making it up, and I didn't need anything, I just needed to time to think. Seems logical, I'm sitting in someone else's house chewing on dough and talking about the very thing I expected her to lay out for me.

Would it be bad of me to say that…?

She wrapped her arms around me and let me sink into Sakura who smelled like peaches and winter rain, or so her shampoo proclaims. Everytime I get hugged, it feels like the first time all over again. I remember Neji's hugs, and he always smelled like soap and his arms were lean but strong and they'd wrap around my torso like he was afraid to let go. I remember Ino's hugs were loose, and she smelled like a bath full of strawberries, and she never hugged me tightly, like I was a doll ready to break.

And I remember Naruto's hugs, they were suffocating, like I was drowning in musk and sweat and love, and they were tight, but good.

I still like Sakura's hugs better though.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She broke my thoughts, again. But her face was staring up at the ceiling.

I snorted. "Wondering where your girlfriend is when you're cuddling up to me."

She whacked me over the head with a pillow and released me. I missed the warmth.

For a moment, I think we were about to have a pillow fight, but as soon as I got ready to toss once of the throw pillows back at her, there was a knock at the door.

Well, more than a knock, a couple knocks. Actually, a lot of knocks. A lot of frequent…angry knocks.

Sakura glanced back between me and the door, and at first I had the gull to inhale sharply. Just because someone was about to break down her door, doesn't mean I'm the cause of it.

Well, usually it does mean the cause of it. And the way Sakura's legs moved of her own accord and drifted to the door like a ghost. She cracked it open an inch. Murmuring. My palms were beginning to sweat, and nothing had even happened yet.

"Sakura, Sakura please, help me! Sakura!"

I shook my head. No. That kind of stuff won't happen to me anymore. I sat, probably looking dumb when Sakura closed the door and stared down at me. It's a shame I'm really bad at reading eyes and faces, I have no idea what she's going to say.

Her voice starts off slow, gentle. "Was Naruto the only person you saw yesterday?" Even an idiot like myself can see the look in her eyes now, she's hinting at something I should've picked up on hours ago.

Oh shit. Kiba.

"Y-yeah…" Damnit, now I sound like a total asshole, complaining about Naruto when I left Kiba waiting for what could have been hours. What is wrong with me!?

She nodded. Once, then twice. "Did you bring your journal?"

"No."

That might be the billionth mistake I've made in the past 24 hours.

"Oh," she laughs, but it's so clearly a fake. "It's a shame; I have a feeling you're gonna need it."

She was right. When I stepped out barefoot and clad in a huge sweater I loaned from Sakura onto the cold pavement of her porch, I saw the anger melt away from Kiba's face.

I shivered, but it wasn't cold. His eyes were warm, but not comforting. So I started the conversation, "So, how'd you find out I was here?"

"I came by to talk to you at your home, but no one's seen you. I figured you'd be here." Kiba shrugged, and looked down at the ground, playing with his toe, almost shyly. My face flushed, and my eyes squinted, as if I were trying to see beyond this, beyond him. But that's not true. I just wanted to be over with, I wanted this to just go by and I wouldn't have to say…

"Hinata…"

I wouldn't have to say…

"Why didn't you show up?"

But I have to, don't I?

I have to be honest…"I-I went to see Naruto…instead."

His face was that of extreme sympathy, but then it dissipated when he rolled his eyes, swore and then threw his hands up in the air. I flinched.

"Goddamnit, Hinata, I don't understand you. After all that, all this, you still think he cares about you? That he'll suddenly wake up and realize he should've been with you?"

His words stung. I almost wanted to laugh it off, but I couldn't bear to hold his anger-filled gaze and let my head droop down to the pavement. I'd let him rant, he deserved to.

Kiba's words were crammed together and stuttered, like words wouldn't be enough. "I just—I don't believe this. I don't believe you. You sit and you act like you're the victim here, you mope around all day and hang around Sakura as if she's gonna help you, and then when you finally have an opportunity to piece your life back together, you'd throw it away for the very same person who threw you away!"

…Threw me...away?

He laughed, but it's a cold and sarcastic laugh that made me shut my eyes and wish him away with everything I have, so that he can just condemn me to hell like everyone else and get on with his life.

"You know, I used to defend you, throughout all of this, everything, I was always on your side. But now I get it, you don't want to be saved, you'd rather stay up in your little unhappy corner and be sad and miserable and pray that Naruto will come back again. It's…not right."

I should've laughed. Not right? He meant to say pathetic. And when he stopped talking to let his entire words sink in, it didn't take a genius to spell out the thing he wanted to say to me.

I'm glad Naruto left you.

Heh. Everybody seems to feel that way now.

I wanted to glare at him, and shout and defend myself, but I have nothing to defend myself over; I was alone, and pathetic, and yeah, maybe I was happy being sad.

I wanted to be ugly, because I didn't want to be pretty, and still be alone.

There was nothing else to say, he tried to talk again, but fortunately Sakura yanked the front door wide open and pulled me inside. She threw him such a fierce glare that all the contempt in his eyes towards me turned sober quick.

"Enough. You've said what you had to now get away from my home or I'll put Tsunade-sama's teaching to good use." I've seen that snarl on her a million times, but it's still as scary to me as it was to Kiba, who hurried off without another word.

She closed to the door and leaned her back against it, cowering her head so low enough that I couldn't see her eyes behind her bangs. I wanted to comfort her, and it's ironic, because right now I wasn't sure I was the one that needed comforting. I still felt numb, couldn't get over the guy who was so sweet and wanted to be with me could say such hurtful things.

But it's not like I didn't give him reason too, I'm sure it must've hurt him to wait there for me when he knew I wasn't coming, and wasn't going to come because of Naruto at that. I bet he didn't know that I actually didn't get to be with Naruto at all, I doubt anyone's told him that yet.

Even still, knowing all that, I didn't want to feel it, not now. Not when Sakura's biting her lip and her fists are coiled so tightly they were turning white. But I didn't know what to do; standing here awkwardly wasn't going to solve my problems though. I reached out and touched her shoulder.

In a flurry, she pulled me into such a tight and suffocating embrace, my first thought was to break away until the smell of peaches sank in. Then as awkwardly I could I hugged her back, but I couldn't tell if she was crying.

"I'm sorry."

I feigned a laugh. "Idiot, why are you sorry?"

"I heard everything, but I didn't come sooner. I didn't save you from that, I didn't protect you because…"

Because you wanted me to hear that, didn't you? You wanted me to hear for myself what I was doing to people; you just didn't want to do it yourself. But its okay Sakura, I'm not mad. See? I was never mad.

She sniffled. "You must hate me."

"I'll never hate you." I meant that, it sounded sincere.

Her arm settled down to my waist then, and in my awkwardness I could only wrap my arms around her neck, because she was leaning against the door so tightly my fingers would grow numb. It was awkward, but it was nice. I liked it.

Her head was buried into my shoulder, and she mumbled as she spoke. "I'm sorry; I haven't been truthful to you. I told you I was going to protect you, from all this, but I'm scared too."

"That makes two of us." I couldn't stop myself from talking.

I felt an atmosphere change, like the kind in movies where the music suddenly changes tempo, where Sakura's heart beat which was moving steadily now raced with anxiousness, and her hands were tracing small patterns against my hips and back, and I couldn't remove her head from my shoulder.

"I'm so jealous of him..."

"H-huh?"

To say the least, I was afraid of what was going to happen next. Her head raised, but her eyes were fluttered shut, and almost like slow motion I was watching her lips pucker slightly and move in, move in to kiss me.

Kiss me?

I placed a firm grip back on her, and averted my gaze. "Sakura…"

She released me. She was crying. "All this time, all this time I was doing this for you. Kiba's right, you do deserve better than what you're settling for, but I'm still in second place!"

I didn't say anything, and I think that's what killed her the most. But how could it? I'm not a lesbian; I'm not attracted to Sakura. So how could she ever be attracted to me?

All this time?

Hey, Hina-chan, let's go to sleep together!

No.

Wash my back for me, Hina-chan.

No way…

I'll protect you always, Hina-chan!

All this time, Sakura?

Hina-chan, I love you!

"Sakura, that's not—"I tried to speak, but she ran upstairs, and part of me thought she expected me to follow her. But I can't, not now. It's like I've just broken two hearts in one day, and no one's noticed my own heart except me.

I put on my shoes. It was a bad idea to come here. I was going to say goodbye to Sakura, but then her telephone rang. I let it go for five rings before I realized Sakura wasn't going to pick it up upstairs, so I answered it, and prayed to the gods it wasn't Ino.

"H-Hello?"

"Hinata? Is that you?" Neji? Then it hit me. No one knew where I was yet, did they?

My day is just getting better and better.

"Uh, y-yeah, it's me, I'm just leaving Sakura's now, I'm sorry I left. You see what happened was—"

Neji interrupted me. "It doesn't matter what I think. Your father's looking for you; you have to come home now."

I gulped. "My…father?"

In the back of my mind I imagined Neji nodded along, with sadness in his eyes, some sort of sympathy for me.

"Yes. It's seems…he's found out about a few things we've been keeping a secret."

I blinked twice, then slammed the phone down and bolted out of Sakura's house as fast as my feet could travel. There were only two people my father could've used to found out anything about my issues and one of those people are going to be too busy with a pinkette.

The other, was waiting for me at home.