Beautiful People

Chapter 10: Because Only I Can Change Me

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

Dear Sakura,

This is so unfair! My handwriting seems pretty sloppy right now, but that's okay. I need to be sloppy right now, to be angry, and to be sad. All at once, because no one else can handle me. No one else can handle me.

I'm so angry right now. I can tell you, when I got home to see my father, I expected him to rant and rave. Neji was nowhere in sight when I walked to my father's corridors. I knocked twice.

"Come in," he said to me. I slid the door open, stepped inside and tried not to marvel at the things I haven't seen since I was a young child. The room was spacious, so I tried to put a good amount of distance between us. He had stared at me with this blank, and…almost cold face. Just thinking about now makes me shiver.

My head was bowed the whole time; I didn't want to look at him then. He asked me why I've been skipping meals; I told him that I've been feeling ill. He asked me why I haven't been taking missions. I told him that I did not feel my skills were of "adequate" measures to take more missions.

I wanted to tell him that I'm an emotional wreck, but I'll save the one for later.

Then he cleared his throat and said in his deepest voice, filled with contempt of some kind. "You've left the premises last night without notifying anyone. Not Neji, Hanabi, or me."

I started to apologize, but he kept going like I wasn't saying anything. He said that I've been violating my freedom rules, and that I would be punished for my bold actions. I think then he was looking at my hair. Some part of me wanted to argue that my hair has been cut this way for weeks, and he hasn't bothered to notice, but I bit my tongue.

Then he starts talking some more, and I wasn't really paying attention to anything he says until he said that he sought to Neji for information on my "well-being".

In other words, Sakura, he told Neji to tell on me.

I tried for the defense first, argued that if he needed to know something he should've come to me first, and not Neji. I was talking so much because I was afraid of what he was going to say that I didn't even realize I'd been hit until I was sprawled out on the floor and looking up into my father's angry eyes.


"You're a lying daughter, my lying daughter," he spat angrily, and flecks of saliva were flung unto my face, but I did nothing to remove it. I scrambled to sit up again, and my cheek was burning. I was sure it was probably a stinging red.

"This entire time you've been lying to your family, dating a demon, and…and…selling drugs?" His voice turned into a harsh whisper. My heart broke. The worst thing in the world, to have my secret out and hanging for the entire world to see. I felt scared, ashamed, and completely worthless.

He was snarling like an animal at me. My own father couldn't bear to look at me. "How long?"

"How long what?" I murmured, with my head bowed in respect. My father didn't answer right away so I assumed he meant how long have I been dating Naruto and not telling him about it. "About five months."

He nearly jumped out of his seat again. "You're a disgrace. If anyone found out about this there wouldn't be a chance in hell you'd get to rule over the Hyuuga clan. You're a liar and a crook, and until you've learned your lesson I'm sending you away."

I shot up from my seat. "Sending me away? Father, it was a long time ago!"

"No, you want it to be a long time ago. It's as real and as serious to you as it is to me, hearing it five months later. Selfish child, you have no respect. Call it an assignment if you will. I have notified Tsunade-sama of your departure and you will leave immediately and pack only the essentials. A partner will be awaiting you at the gate with the mission scroll." He sounded hurt. For a split second I could've sworn I saw something like sadness in his eyes, before they hardened over and I couldn't see anything.

My eyes began to water. "But―"

He turned his head away from me, and shook it like a person would do, disgusted with what they saw.

I walked out of there briskly with my head hung low. It was over for me.

Thinking about it right now, I've started crying, and now I've gotten your pages all wet. God, I feel so stupid. It wasn't something that everyone was supposed to know, and it wasn't a full time thing, I only did it when I had to, when I needed to. Noone else was supposed to find out about it. But now that my father knows, I don't know what to say anymore. The news could've spread, or he could've kept it quiet.

No one will look at me the same again. I'm panicking. Damnit, I think I've been crying a bit too loudly. I'll have to get quiet. Hold on.

….

Okay, I had to wipe my face. Sakura, to be honest, I didn't think that he would never have found out. He probably would have, and he probably would've gotten angry. Any parent would get angry finding out their child sold drugs at one point in their lives. I'm not even that surprised when he told me he was sending me away, because that's what my father did. When he was angry with you, he either beat you or sent you away. This isn't a mission; this is just a way for him to be rid of me until he's ready to see me again.

I can accept that though. Because this is my fault. What I couldn't accept was the look in his eyes, the hateful and spiteful look that made my skin crawl and made me want to die…

I packed, and I did it slowly so I can savor any time that maybe Neji might show up and apologize? But even after everything was packed and all my equipment was prepared and I changed into more suitable clothes, he still hadn't knocked on my door.

I started to cry. Everything was going wrong; Kiba hated me, Sakura loves me too much, and Sasuke and Naruto are pretending like I don't even exist. Kiba said that I was making excuses because I didn't want to accept that Naruto left me because of me.

Well, I wish he had known the truth, and maybe he wouldn't have blamed me. But now that I'm wiping my eyes and I'm staring at my face in my bathroom mirror, maybe I should be blaming me. Sasuke would never let Naruto see him with his eyes puffy, hair in disarray, and looking as pale as a ghost. I looked like that often, and I still do now. I look so…ugly!

I smashed that mirror with my fist, and kept punching it. It's my fault that I tried to save him, my fault I didn't just turn lesbian and have been happy, it's my fault I trusted someone who was only trying to get ahead, my fault, my fault, my fault!

The stinging of my bleeding knuckles didn't even stop me, I kept going until someone grabbed me, but I already knew who it was. I was thrashing in Neji's strong grip. There was no way in hell I was going to make it easy on him, not like he did to me.

He's such a liar! I can't believe I trusted him, Sakura. Sometimes, I still can't believe what just happened. Everything was going great, and now, things have come to a complete halt. He went on and on about how he was scared of where I was, and that when he went to my father looking for me, he was trapped by him. That he had to tell what was going on.

I gave him a well-deserved slap. Then I said 'you didn't have to tell him everything.' We argued some more, about everything. I must've lost my mind because when I grabbed my traveling bag, and turned around my whole room was trashed. And he was just standing there, mirroring the swelling cheek. I told him I hated him. He said that I didn't that I was just angry, and that he'd be waiting for when I get back.

His eyes looked remorseful. But he's not sorry, he's sorry that I have to leave because of what he's done. I know that he isn't sorry he told on me. He probably wanted to do it, wanted to hurt me. Just like everyone else does. Right? So I left without saying anything else, right out the door. And no one said goodbye to me.

I tried to hurry, but t was a bit difficult to bandage my hand while jogging, considering I spent so much time arguing with Neji or something that wasn't going to change, it was past noon. Some part of me was pretty upset that the sun wasn't setting anytime soon because if I looked as bad as I felt, well then…I think we all get the idea.

Oh, this is the best part, Sakura. My mission partner?

Uchiha Sasuke.

Yeah, you heard me. Well, you saw what I wrote. The Uchiha Sasuke, waiting for me at the gate with the deepest scowl on his face which turned into a snarl when he saw me. Yeah, buddy. I didn't expect you see you either.


"Are you kidding me?" he said and looked around like people were supposed to jump out of the bushes and yell 'surprise'. He looked me up and down with disgust and now I realize that I really care about what he thinks of me. Stupid, I know. But I did care, and I cared so much that I started trying to straighten out my hair when he looked down to dig into his travel bag. He tossed a scroll at me. Oh yeah, the mission description. I started reading it out loud.

"Mission Rank, B. Undercover rouge ninjas stolen ANBU documents of criminal believed to be traveling with them. No other identity known except one is Kekkei Genkai user."

I looked up at him, dumbfounded. "Why did they make us a double-team then?" He shrugged his shoulders, obviously ready to get moving.

"Because we're Kekkei Genkai users."

I wasn't done though. I wrapped up the scroll and handed it back to him. "Why not Neji then?"

"Because your father requested that it you take the mission." My face must've changed because all of a sudden he smirked at me, like he had already known my answer before he even asked the question.

I bowed my head, and pushed past him. "Let's go already, we're losing daylight." I started moving, but I could feel his presence behind me, dark and disturbing. My stomach coiled in disgust. How much more of this could I take?

We only made about thirty miles heading eastward, even with our chakra boosts. I guess we were both pretty tired, which is leaving me to believe that something happened between him and Naruto which is why he accepted the job in the first place. I could tell, because if everything was fine then he wouldn't have willingly accepted to chase some baddies all across the Konoha forest, and willingly done it with me.

He wanted something from me, something that I'm not sure I could give him. I mean, look at me, an ugly mess laying less than four feet from the one who took my happiness away. Even looking at him now, all coiled up tightly beneath his sleeping bag; when he was sleeping he looked almost…peaceful. He even snores softly.

Oh god, Sakura. Kill me now. How was I ever supposed to compare to that? I snore like a cow. No wonder Naruto left me. And now that fact is going to be waving in front of my face for however long this takes, and no one even wants me to come back.

I've never felt so alone.

Hinata

So as too not ruin the angsty moment, I'll quietly ask you the reader to review this chapter.

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