Beautiful People

Chapter 16: Share My Power With You

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

I moved all through the night, running from something, anything. It felt like someone was trying to capture me. For once throughout this whole trip, I was scared and more than willing to be cradled in Sasuke's arms. I wished I had my hair to hide behind. All these things I was thinking about, but I know that none of these things would save me, help me, or give me any guidance. In fact, I feel like they are hindering me. I'm traveling on the ground-level, just to keep safe, but it isn't enough.

I've tripped on loose tree branches countless times, because I can't see in the dark, and the sounds of hissing snakes and chirping cicadas are frightening. It's funny, because I've never noticed those things when I was with Sasuke, I was too busy hating him or being jealous or something that included him. It's a stretch to say that I actually miss him. But I've been on solo missions before…

It would be better if I could just admit I miss his company.

The moon is full tonight, but even that isn't helping me see. My eyes still slightly burn. every now and again. My chakra is low, and I know I need to rest. Konoha is very close, although I no longer have my compass or map. It's just something you can feel, when your hometown is this close. I miss the company of the city. I miss everyone's company, actually. It's times like these when you're alone and anything can happen that you miss the people you couldn't stand before. Suddenly, it's not so safe to stay down here, I can hear a low growl of press a bit of chakra into my feet, and head upwards.

I stop and nestle myself on a tree branch, hang one leg over the side and just spend time admiring mother nature and the nightly breeze, trying to calm my pulsating heartbeat. The only thing I have with me is my journal for this kind of thing. But really…for once, no one's holding me responsible for anything, I could blow up and start crying and no one would remember it except the trees. Having so many people watch you because of one mistake is stressful; no wonder I'm like this.

No, wait. It's not right for me to be blaming anyone right? It's not their fault that I'm in the middle of the forest without any inclination of direction or time except that its nighttime. I have no idea just who I'm looking for, why they're doing this, and what Sasuke and I could possibly do about it. This is something that we should've reported to Tsunade-sama the moment we found out it involved Konoha.

But then I remember Sasuke's determined face and I take it back.

I nestle my head between the tree leaves, and try to get comfortable. It's the first time I've ever missed having something as lumpy as a sleeping bag. I wonder how Sasuke's fairing, if he already made it to Konoha, or he stuck somewhere—

"God, enough already," I moaned out, cocking my head to the side in exasperation. The journal in my lap slides to the right and instinctively I reach out and grab it from falling over. The fall down here is high, extremely high and I wonder how I was even able to make it this far. I squint, but I can't see the bottom. My eyes are focusing in and out; it's scaring me a lot. I open up the journal, and the smell of old pages calm me. The pen is lodged tightly in between the next bare pages, but the uncapped pen has marred the pages with stray marks.

I sigh. "I can hardly see but…" The pen feels right in my hands.

Dear Sakura,

I may or may not be a few miles away from Konoha. My head is throbbing, and I can't see a thing, they burn so bad. I'm confused, I'm angry and I can't stop wondering about what Sasuke is doing and it's driving me insane. It makes me feel like some type of stalker but I know that the reason is because I've become more than dependent on him…I do that to everyone. What kind of Hyuuga is taught to depend on everyone? That's not how I was raised. At all. It sounds hard to believe, even coming from me. Don't believe me?

I depend on everyone. Like Sakura, she's the reason I have this journal in the first place! I've been depending on her for support, love, and attention, everything that I wasn't getting. She…really means a lot to me, so much so that when she wants a bit more out of me, like love, and I can't give it back. I mean, it makes sense to want to give love back to the person who gave me love in the first place, right? Even if I wasn't a lesbian, the least I could do was show her a bit of love. It makes me sick; it bothers me to the point of infuriation.

I feel selfish and mean that I've run away from her when she needed me the most. I couldn't even give her a straight answer, and yet, here I am, writing in a book named after her, wishing she were here.

And then there's Neji, right? The one who was 'looking' out for me? God, those words make me sick. He's the reason I'm lying on a thick tree branch, hoping no one evil out here will find me. I hate him, I honestly hate that he brings the best out of me when I want to feel my worst. He's like a parent who keeps telling an ugly kid she's beautiful. It's ridiculous, but I feel like as soon as I get home, home to my warm bed, that I'm going to apologize, because I need him. I need him so much that it makes me hate myself.

Sasuke, I don't even want to talk about. I've had enough of him because I don't know how to feel about him. We've fought twice, he's even looked in my journal…but at the same time, he's saved me. He was kind, accepting and even willing to put away our differences so that this mission would work. By far, I don't want to let him down. But…I feel like I already am.

Naruto…Naruto, my blond-haired angel who holds all the hopes and dreams I've ever had? The one I'm still in love with even though he barely acknowledges me existence? It's stupid; it's his entire fault I'm like this. Skinny, nearly bald, half-blind, all alone, weak…out of my mind…!

I stop writing, and realize that I'm panting and my heart is pounding. I'm angry, I can feel my anger coil like heated wires inside of my belly. The writing is sloppy; the script makes then entry look sloppy. Disgusting. Ugly.

"Enough!" I shout and in a bout of rage, I tossed the journal, and the pen over the branch. I gasped. I can't see it, and only in a few seconds do I hear the thud. "Oh god…oh god…if I never get that back…"

I'm leaning over the edge, squinting, trying to hear something, anything. The chirping sounds of cicadas are gone. I can't hear any animals, it's like the world is waiting to see what I'm going to do next.

"I'm…so…stupid…" I sniffle and then using my hands, I flip over the branch until my entire body is hanging limply by my hands. My body is swinging back and forth, and I can't see the ground…much less the damn journal. The other branches are out of reach.

For a second, the image of myself letting go of the branch flashes through my mind. Surely, the fall wouldn't be enough to kill me, but it would be enough to put me to sleep for a good long while.

And that's what I think when I peel my fingers off the hard bark one by one…what I need, is a good, long sleep…

The wind only whips angrily at my face for a few seconds and I regret my decision to let go in the first place. Of course, I don't want to die; I'm just running away again…

I hit something hard. Something warm, tight, and hard. I feel arms, and the image of Sasuke comes to mind. I'm being saved again; by a stranger who thinks probably thinks I'm crazy.

"Don't…" I start to say, but I don't finish because the scent of sweat and spices invades my nostrils.

"Hey, Hina-chan, didn't I teach you about aerobic flips? You could've died there!" His voice is deep and rumbles throughout his chest and into my ears. It's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

"Naruto…" I breathe, amazed. His eyes are the only thing I can see clearly, all blue and sparkly. "But...my journal…"

"I got ya, Hina-chan. We're close to Konoha, so no worries, alright? Relax a bit." He snuggles me a bit closer into his chest so he doesn't hear me snort angrily.

"Yeah…everyone seems to be taking better care of me than I am…" Nevertheless, I am thankful. For him, and his boyfriend.

Crazy? Confusing? Spectacular? None of those things? Review and tell me how you feel!