Title: Building Trust

Rating: Strong T (Trigger warning, discusses repressed memories of abuse and nonconsentual intercourse)

Summary: Will the Captain ever be able to win Maria's heart? Or is her trust going to be a more elusive gift?

A/N: I wrote to the remarkable WhatAboutLove to obtain a blessing to write this story though the ideas are profoundly different, the rape element is the same. My thanks for the go ahead on this.

Chapter One

"Come in, Fraulein," the Captain greeted, smiling as Maria approached the study door.

This was a nightly ritual since Maria had agreed to stay on as the children's governess indefinitely. She had determined that she did not fit at the Abbey, that she was happier and more content with her life at the villa, so when the Captain offered her a permanent position, Maria took it.

"I'm sorry I'm late tonight, Captain," Maria said as she sat on the settee. "Gretel had a hard time falling asleep and Liesl was understandably excited about the von Klauss birthday ball next week."

"I'm still not sure if it's a good idea," the Captain sighed. "But it is the von Klauss family and they are a good lot. Agathe was fond of Marguerite. It will be a good first time out for Liesl."

Maria looked at the Captain's face. It showed that he was not ready to let Liesl attend this event, chaperoned or otherwise. Liesl, however, was ready. She would be turning 17 in two months and was past the age most girls began to step into society.

"And you'll be there the entire time," Maria spoke in reassurance. "Though I'm not sure that she'll actually make it to the dance floor with you hovering over her."

"I won't be," the Captain replied. "No, I have decided I best stay away from social engagements for a while. Things got a bit too heated here the last time I gave a party, and I don't want to ruin Liesl's night or mar her reputation with my political views."

"Who is going to chaperone her then? Oh, Captain, please tell me that you aren't reconsidering. She's so excited…" Maria was ready to do battle for Liesl.

"I've been reconsidering since the moment I agreed, Fraulein," the Captain confessed. "But no, I think you would be a better chaperone for Liesl. I will…what is the American turn of phrase, be playing "Mr. Mom."

The thought of the Captain bedding down six very excited children made Maria laugh. He had his old style of simply commanding them to fall back on she supposed, but he was a far more tender and loving man since he let his guard down and allowed himself to love. It might be more challenging for him that way.

"Me?" Maria raised her eyebrows. "Captain, I can't. Surely there is someone else. Herr Detweiler perhaps? He's not politically inclined and…"

"And?" the Captain pressed.

"And he has the proper training, the proper dress, I'd stick out, I would…"

The Captain's heart fluttered at Maria's embarrassment. She truly didn't know how beautiful she was and that was probably the most beautiful thing about her. She had more grace and poise in her little finger than most socialites and a heart of gold. Her smile lit up any room she was in, yet she was so skittish and self-conscious she didn't realize any of it.

When Max had revealed the reason for Maria's departure the night of the ball, the Captain had flown into one of his legendary rages. The fact Elsa used Maria's fear and innocence against her made his blood boil. The Captain had ordered her out of his house before Max had even finished telling the tale.

Max, bless his heart, couldn't bear to see the children so sad. He knew that if the Captain was aware of the real reason Maria had left, he would be able to rectify it. The Captain planned a visit to the abbey the following day, but Maria returned to the villa on her own before he had a chance to seek her out.

When the Captain found her walking alone that night by the lake, he did try to speak to her and let her know what was in his heart. She had seemed so nervous though, so unsure. The more he tried to get her to catch onto his message, the more frightened she became. He felt it was best to back off and do what he could to keep her in his life, even as a friend. The rest, with a slow and steady pace, would come later.

The Captain realized their age difference, their social difference, and more were in the way of a relationship between them. He admitted to himself and to Max that what Elsa had seen could have been mere infatuation, a school girl crush. Maria didn't seem to desire him as anything more than a friend, at least not yet.

Above all else, the Captain wanted Maria to be happy, healthy, and safe. That's all he wanted for anyone he loved and he did love Maria so much. It hurt to see her nervous or unhappy, he wanted to be sure he didn't cause her those negative emotions, at least not too often.

"Fraulein," the Captain shook his head. "The von Klauss family is very easy to get along with and I will make sure you get the finest material and pattern books for a dress. I'm certain you will be the belle of the ball, so to speak."

Maria sighed; this was for Liesl. Someone who she had come to love and admire for the young woman she was becoming. She didn't want to do this, but she could not let Liesl down. If this was the Captain's condition, then she had no choice.

Maria let out a breath, "All right, I'll go. I just hope I don't embarrass her."

"That is utterly ridiculous, Fraulein," the Captain replied.

Maria shivered. The way he looked at her…sometimes she could swear he felt it too. She adored the children with all her heart, and the Captain…Being in the same room with him was her favorite thing to do. She loved to hear his voice, smell the scent of his masculinity. She loved how safe she felt when he was nearby, as if nothing bad could possibly happen. She respected his convictions and admired his courage to speak for them. Still, she knew that he could never see her as more than the governess. Perhaps he did consider her a friend, he often unburdened his mind with her, but that was all it would ever be, could ever be. The Captain was beyond her station, beyond her in everything…he was flat out better than her, no romance between them would ever exist.

"You light up every room you are in. I know you'll charm the von Klausses. In fact, they may even try to steal you away from me."

"I would never, Captain," Maria said quickly. "I'm happy here."

The Captain gave her a soft, genuine smile. "Good. That's all I can ask then, isn't it? That and if you would desire…"He pulled open his top desk drawer and took out a small box with a gold, foil lid. "A truffle from Switzerland. Max brought them back a couple weeks ago on his last trip there."

Maria nodded. Chocolates were her weakness. She loved to eat them, especially the dark filled ones like the Captain was offering. "Try the one with the yellow, it's a very unique combination."

Maria relaxed and took a bite of the lemon filled candy. She smiled in delight as sweet and sour flavors blended on her tongue.

Soon the conversation was flowing again. The pair could sit and talk for hours about anything and everything. They made each other laugh. It was nearly midnight when they wrapped up their discussion that evening.

"My goodness, Captain. It's getting very late and your children do rise quite early," Maria said rising from her seat.

"Yes, it is quite late, isn't it?" The Captain rose and began to extinguish the study lights. "An escort to your room, Fraulein?" He offered his arm.

"Certainly, Captain," Maria accepted. The Captain locked the study door and together they ascended the stairs, both tired from a long day. They found themselves leaning on one another as they climbed the elegant steps.

When they reached the fork, the Captain stepped back. He reached out to touch Maria's cheek, she almost imperceptibly shuddered under his touch.

The Captain only left his hand there a second. It seemed he was frightening her again. She didn't exactly recoil from him, and if his touch was undesirable to her, he was sure he'd hear about it. His Fraulein didn't mince words when she was upset at him about something. "Goodnight, Fraulein. Pleasant dreams."

"Goodnight, Captain," Maria replied as he turned away. If he only knew how rarely she had those. "Sleep well."

Both the Captain and Maria were restless that night. Their communication so spot on when it came to dealing with the children but when it came to their own relationship or lack thereof, they were constantly confused. Maria knew one thing though; she needed the Captain and the children in her life. They were the first people to show her love besides the Sisters, and certainly the first people to show her respect. If the Captain couldn't love her the way she wanted, she would take his friendship and gratitude.

For his part, the Captain could not detect Maria's desire for him. Whenever they were alone together and doing anything besides discussing the children or some household matter, she was skittish. It was as if she didn't want to be alone with him and didn't want him to convey any real emotion. When he had touched her just now, she'd recoiled from him, just a simple touch on her cheek had her spooked.

Maria had spoken very little about her life before the abbey. The Captain knew her parents died when she was Gretel's age and she'd been sent to live with her maternal uncle. He knew she was educated quite well for a female and that she left her uncle's care at 16 to attend teacher's college and then joined the sisters. That was all she would tell him. He didn't even know the day she was born.

That was something the Captain planned to rectify. The children had asked him numerous times about Maria's birthday. Birthdays were a big deal in the von Trapp household, even for members of the staff. They were given a grand meal and gifts from everyone in the house, even the Captain. In fact, birthdays were the one thing the Captain never missed. He might not have been home, but he marked the occasion with a call, a telegram, a gift…it wasn't swept under the rug.

A phone call to the abbey would answer that question, then the Captain and the children could plan a celebration worthy of all Maria brought to the house. The Captain did not delude himself into thinking he was not in love with Maria. He knew he was in love with her, but any advance at all, any mention of an emotion outside of friendship was met with fear, or at least, nervousness. One day, Maria would relax and trust him, and then he would show her a world she could have only dreamt of.